http://blog.creaders.net/pathmark/user_blog_diary.php?did=13296
找工作是几乎每个人都要经历的一件大事，要拿到一份称心如意的职位，不管你愿意与否，你都难免要经过一番撕杀。从写简历，发求职信，要推荐信，到面试，讨价还价，最后拿到一份工作契约, 每一步都不能马虎。
由于文化习惯的差异，刚到北美，甚至在这里学习和工作多年的人对这里的游戏规则并不很熟悉，因而常常会与自己喜欢的工作失之交臂。下面我将通过自己的亲身经历和一些间接的经验，归纳出八个最重要的原则和技巧，以期能对正在或即将要找工作的读者们有所启发，让他们能少走弯路。
要点一：找工作如找对象
用最简单比喻来说，找工作就犹如找对象。很多人搞对象、谈恋爱很在行，那么你只要灵活运用己知的技巧，就会得心应手了，下面我还要进一步阐述。但找工作又不完全象谈恋爱，很多时候要讨价还价，脚踏两只船或多只船。
要点二：建立宽广的人际关系网络
一个人的力量是微不足道的，所拥有信息量也是有限的。你在生活中常常会发现，别人的一句不经意的话会使你受益非浅。尤其是内向性格的人，一定要走出自己的小圈子，把自己的求职意图告诉你所有认识的朋友和不需要保密的导师、旧日同事，让他们帮你留意。同时，你自己也要花些精力尽量搜集所有相关的招工信息。眼下，相关渠道很多，如杂志、报纸、网络、电子邮件等等。
我本人在找工作过程中，真正尝到过人际网的甜头，而且不下三次，屡试不爽。记得刚来美国时，找工作的唯一线索是看杂志后面的广告。后来才知道，那里面水份很大，相当一部分己为特定的人办身份登的，还有一部分是己经有了合适人选了，为了体现平等原则，走走过场而己。无怪乎我发出去的求职信大多石沉大海，偶尔有一封回信，也是礼貌性的“抱歉∙∙∙∙∙∙”云云。后来有一次和朋友谈及此事，他告诉我，很多大学都有他们自己的招工栏，那里经常有一些当地真正的工作广告。我照着试了试，果然找到了工作。在后来的多年里，我都与以前的朋友同事保持接触，关键时刻真帮了大忙。因为当你有个内线，了解雇主的情况，有的放矢，往往事半功倍。当然，如果你能更进一步，找到个把你和雇主都认识人从中作媒，帮你说话，则成功机会大增。你看，这不就和婚姻介绍人、介绍所的作用相似吗。
要点三：不要放弃任何一个可能的机会。
找工作的大多有这样的感受或体会：有心插花花不开，无心栽柳柳成荫。对我们移民来这儿的外国人来说更是如此。当你看上一个位置，觉得自己也挺合格，做了很多努力，报着极大的期望，结果却大失所望，因为人家对你不感冒。相反，有些你自己不看好的机会或自觉高攀的职位，却由于阴差阳错，被你拿到了。你想象不到雇主那边会发生什么事。也许他们本来中意的人选因为某种原因不去了；又或许是因为在最后讨价还价时候选人狮子大张囗，要价过高和雇主谈崩了。这里有技巧、也有运气的成分。所以，不要轻易放弃任何一个机会。
我有个朋友，折腾了很久没找到工作。每次高高兴兴面试，垂头丧气等待。后来，偶然看到一条广告，虽然寄了申请，也没报太大希望。可谁曾想，这个老板意外地看上了他，源于他对中国文化的兴趣以及曾在同一所大学就读的过亲切感。他顺利地拿到这份关键的工作。这些内幕在你申请拿到面试之前是不可能知道的，这也许就是运气了。
还有一个朋友，申请一个很热的政府职位。在进入最后决赛的几位候选人中，她的学历最低，英语也没人家强。但后来他获得了招聘委员会的青睐，理由是他们喜欢她表现出来的强烈进取心，因而弥补了其他方面的不足。
要点四：求职信和简历要正确无误。
至少要让另一个人看过你写好的简历和信，不要有拼写和语法错误。至于如何将这些文件准备得高人一筹，则是另外一个话题了。请高人指点往往是有必要的。
要点五：最多有一次后续跟踪。
这一条适用于一开始申请和面试以后。发完申请信后最多有一次后续跟踪。这和谈对象就不一样了，不能有所谓的痴情。要做好大多申请会石沉大海的准备。因此，不需要一而再，再而三的写信或打电话询问。穷追不舍在这里不适用。如果你有戏，雇主会主动与你联系。他们对你不感兴趣，你是没办法感化他们的。否则，会让人对你产生负面印象。
面试后也应当立即写信或打电话，告诉雇主你仍然想要那份工作。否则，他们会以为你不感兴趣，而把机会给下一个人。你做好这一点，就足够了，然后耐心等待，干万不能祈求雇主。如果你在面试个把月后还没有答复，那么你肯定不是首选。有两种情况，一是彻底没戏了，他们不喜欢你，或你有致命缺点；二是你还有戏，只是要看排在你前面的候选人如何动作。如果他或他们都放弃了，就该轮到你了。所以，一定要在雇主那里留下良好的印象，要知道你自己的价值，对自己有信心。一句话，你所要表达的是你的意愿，剩下的留给雇主作出他们的选择。
要点六：慎选推荐人。
不管在任何情况下，都要选择对你好，会为你说好话的人写推荐信，而不是选择名气大或你自己认为更了解你的人。推荐人一句随随便便话可能使你所有的努力付诸东流。再重要的人，只要你对他有丝毫的不信任，就不要列。如果雇主坚持要，你可以先打预防针，做一番解释，这样可以将负面效果降至最低。
我有个朋友将他老板列为推荐人，这家伙说了一大堆好话，什么聪明、能干、刻苦、有人缘，但是，最后在电话交谈中加了一句要命的话，说我的朋友可能对申请研究基金帮不上大忙。而雇人方偏偏就很在乎这个，他的老板早己经探听到了。结果他的工作泡汤了。
要点七：面试说话要投其所好。
面试又称相面，和搞对象没两样。这过程中涉及面极广，是一个综合测试，也是找工作最难的一关。面试又很简单，一句话，投其所好，和谈对象一样，甜言蜜语，山盟海誓。这里又分４小点。
1．要有120%的热情。
不管你访问的地方有多臭，也不管它在你心目中多么不重要，你都要表示绝的热情，多发表正面的评论，杜绝负面的评论。一句话，“她是你的最爱。” 还记得《阿诗玛》中那段唱词“山茶花千万朵，你是最美的那一朵；天上的星星千万颗，你是最亮的那一颗；撒尼姑娘千万个，我只爱你一个” 吗？就要达到那样的境界。
2．要有130%的斗志。
面试时，你的各方面都应处于最佳状态，雇主也知道这一点，以此来判断你的进取心和意向。你尽管心里不喜欢或不情愿做某些将来安排给你的工作，表面上也要展示你的毫无保留的应允，并最好能有创造性的发挥，而不是敷衍了事。这样你在雇主心中会加很多分。相反，如果你那怕表示出丝毫的不愿意，你大概是白跑一趟了。
3．要有至少100%的允诺（commitment）。
虽然你可能有很多选择，但面试的时候，你不要轻易显露出来，这和第一条有联系。你要让雇主觉得，他所花费的人力、物力是值得的。如果他把这个位置给你，你会接受。这一点在雇主经历了几次挫折后急需人手时更为关键。他们不愿意再冒险将位置留给一个不大可能上岗的人。
4．要说雇主爱听的。
说他们爱听的，想听的，而不是你心里想要说的，与事实相符的。这样你的话才能在雇主心中产生共鸣。说真话是一种美德，但说善意的谎话也是一种技巧、艺术。比如我有一位熟人，申请一份离家千里之外的重要职位。她的先生也在做一份不能轻易更换的工作。这就牵设到如何打消雇主的后顾之忧，如何处理家务、子女照料与工作的矛盾。由于这份工作的重要性，雇主不希望看到任何可能拖后腿的情况。由于她事前做了周密的考虑，回答让雇主满意，她得到了这份工作。聪明的读者，你一定也能猜出一二吧。她可以说他先生也很喜欢这座城市，正在联系工作换到这儿；或者说，他有亲戚在这座城市，答应帮忙；也能说，她的父母很快从中国来美，可照看。这样雇主会很高兴，因为你己经安排好一切了。至于后来你怎样安排，他就不管了。
要点八：Offer越多越好。
这一点不同于搞对象。你如果背景好、简历强，可能拿到多个职位，自己就有选择权了。所以，拿到一个工作并不一定就停止，不要马上签契约，除非雇主设下最后期限。等一等，你也许能有更好的机会。即使现在的机会最好，多一个offer也能增加你讨价还价的筹码。要记住，一个职位对你的意义远远超过一个应征人对雇主的价值。你不去，雇主可以很容易找到另一个人。即使暂时找不到，他们也能照样生存。而你和你的家庭甚至一辈子就靠你这份薪水来维持。因此，来不得半点舍糊。在这一点上，自私一点是没有什么值得责怪的，感情不专一也无可厚非。
以上八点浅见，你不妨照着试试。如果有效，在我的博客站留个言。
愿大家都能找到自己中意的工作
Sunday, December 9, 2007
ZT: 对不起 我只是在勾引你！
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?atid=277926&id=282664
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
请允许我说一声对不起，因为你爱上我那不是我的错，一切源于激情。
记得你加了我之后的第一次聊天，你的单纯和可爱让我决定暂停游荡的脚步。于是，我停止了我像猎人一样在论坛里逡巡的活动，开始天天陪着你
以我混论坛五年的经历，以我生活了三十五年的阅历，我觉得你真的很单纯，因为你的笑你的生气全是即兴而来；以我聊天五年阅人无数的经验，你也是狠可爱的，因为你的率性你的小女人的聪明都在一颦一笑里。
喜欢上你的单纯和可爱了。
于是，我决定勾引你。
一个只有我们两人的深夜，在音乐里，一些淡淡的忧伤飘荡在夜里。你在这忧伤的音乐里向我诉说了你生活里的许多无奈，在你的诉说中，我用怜爱的语气叫你丫头，用拥抱的符号给你安慰。在你敞开心扉的同时让我的温柔悄悄的驻进了你的心里。其实，这不过是我惯常的手段而已。
然后，我用一种不容抗拒的语气问你要了你的电话号码。接下来的时间里，我除了每天出现在网络里，还每天用电话给你一个问候。忧伤的女人需要温暖，所以我的问候恰到好处。
当又一个深夜来临的时候，我爱怜的说：关了你的电脑，我给你打电话。
我知道，你是寂寞的。所以深夜的电话无疑会给你许多的安慰。其实谁都知道这些电话里暗藏了许多的暧昧，但是你脆弱寂寞的心灵已经来不及分辨。当暧昧一开头，便会有烈火燃烧起来。终于，在我呢喃的情话里，你被我点燃了。
女人是感性的，她会在欲望里燃烧起熊熊的爱火。
男人是理性的，他只会让欲望熊熊燃烧。
你爱上我了。然后，你便依赖于我，所以你期望把你的喜怒哀乐全都系在我身上。可是，我只是网络里的过客，我只想让你取悦我的生活，或是娱乐我片刻的身体，所以，我不想承受你的喜怒哀乐。
请原谅，我只是在勾引你，所以，当我勾引成功以后，我就会在胜利以后厌倦这次勾引并以极快的速度逃开。所以，当你爱上我的时候，我只有躲避。网络里花开繁茂，我怎能驻足在一朵花前而弃暗香无数？
对不起，我只是在勾引你！
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
请允许我说一声对不起，因为你爱上我那不是我的错，一切源于激情。
记得你加了我之后的第一次聊天，你的单纯和可爱让我决定暂停游荡的脚步。于是，我停止了我像猎人一样在论坛里逡巡的活动，开始天天陪着你
以我混论坛五年的经历，以我生活了三十五年的阅历，我觉得你真的很单纯，因为你的笑你的生气全是即兴而来；以我聊天五年阅人无数的经验，你也是狠可爱的，因为你的率性你的小女人的聪明都在一颦一笑里。
喜欢上你的单纯和可爱了。
于是，我决定勾引你。
一个只有我们两人的深夜，在音乐里，一些淡淡的忧伤飘荡在夜里。你在这忧伤的音乐里向我诉说了你生活里的许多无奈，在你的诉说中，我用怜爱的语气叫你丫头，用拥抱的符号给你安慰。在你敞开心扉的同时让我的温柔悄悄的驻进了你的心里。其实，这不过是我惯常的手段而已。
然后，我用一种不容抗拒的语气问你要了你的电话号码。接下来的时间里，我除了每天出现在网络里，还每天用电话给你一个问候。忧伤的女人需要温暖，所以我的问候恰到好处。
当又一个深夜来临的时候，我爱怜的说：关了你的电脑，我给你打电话。
我知道，你是寂寞的。所以深夜的电话无疑会给你许多的安慰。其实谁都知道这些电话里暗藏了许多的暧昧，但是你脆弱寂寞的心灵已经来不及分辨。当暧昧一开头，便会有烈火燃烧起来。终于，在我呢喃的情话里，你被我点燃了。
女人是感性的，她会在欲望里燃烧起熊熊的爱火。
男人是理性的，他只会让欲望熊熊燃烧。
你爱上我了。然后，你便依赖于我，所以你期望把你的喜怒哀乐全都系在我身上。可是，我只是网络里的过客，我只想让你取悦我的生活，或是娱乐我片刻的身体，所以，我不想承受你的喜怒哀乐。
请原谅，我只是在勾引你，所以，当我勾引成功以后，我就会在胜利以后厌倦这次勾引并以极快的速度逃开。所以，当你爱上我的时候，我只有躲避。网络里花开繁茂，我怎能驻足在一朵花前而弃暗香无数？
对不起，我只是在勾引你！
Sunday, December 2, 2007
ZT: 被我甩了的那个"极品男人"
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?atid=277889&id=282615
讲述人：语默(化名)，女，32岁
采访时间：3月6日
采访方式：QQ
［她一早就约好和我在QQ上聊，她说她一定要把这个故事告诉我，在离开之前做一个了断。］
未见面的爱人
在别人眼里，我是很幸福的一个女人。物质丰裕，和丈夫有一家运营不错的公司；夫妻恩爱，丈夫英俊温和，对我百依百顺，几乎没有什么可挑剔的。可老天总不会让人十全十美，我们年幼的孩子得了重病，四处求医，却无法根治。因为心情压抑，又不愿增加老公的压力，所以我很想有个人能说说话。
有一天，在聊天室里偶然看到一个英文名字，是一部我喜欢的外国影片的名字。没想到就这样认识了仲天，他和我是同行，让我觉得一下子就有了共同语言。我其实交朋友蛮挑剔的，并不是一个随便的人，可他却轻而易举地让我信任并欣赏。我们有太多相同的爱好，比如都喜欢STARBUCKS的咖啡，都喜欢外国电影，喜欢音乐和健身。一开始，我真的没有想很多，只把他当成一个有共同话题的朋友，而且我一直跟他强调：我的先生非常爱我。而他对他的太太似乎有颇多不满，只因为他很疼儿子，所以宁愿忍受下去。其实我很不喜欢一个男人在别的女人面前说自己太太的不是，所以我一直希望他能好好跟太太沟通。
我们之间的转变是在他的一次出差之后。他常在开会中途跑出来，看看我是不是在线，即使不在，也会留下很多留言，似乎很牵挂的样子。他很信任我，几乎把他所有的情况都告诉我，他说他对我毫不设防。出差回来以后，他就对我说：我已经爱上了你，很用心。我当时真的吓了一跳，因为那个时候我们认识才10几天吧，而且彼此还没见过面。我不是小女孩了，怎么会轻易相信这样的表白。
每天说分手
其实我是一个很敏感也很脆弱的人，可能外表看起来活泼开朗，但是心里真的很想有一个精神上的支柱。而且他所做的事，真的让人没办法抗拒。每天早上上班前，都会发个短信给我，会提醒我天气冷暖；有客户送他一盒好吃的曲奇，他会想着留给我吃；跟朋友出去喝咖啡，看到巧克力，他会自己买一块，然后再买一块一样的留给我；为了方便跟我联系，他一定要送我一个手机并且申请了一个专门的号码，只是为了跟他联系。因为我始终都不肯见他，他就把这些东西都放在酒店的大堂，让我自己去取。当我看到他写的纸条：给我的墨墨。我真的很感动，心里暖暖的，而且我们都是没什么心机的人，在一起好像两个大学生一样单纯。他其实是很忙的，但是他真的非常宠我，有好几次，在陪国外客户的时候他都会跑出来打电话给我，只是告诉我他很想我，他爱我。有时我会故意问他，有多爱？他说，非常非常爱。就是这样，我一步步地被他感动，一点点地捧出了自己的心，再没法收回。
其实我知道，我们这样是没有结果的。所以我差不多每天都在跟他说“分手”，但是每一天他都对我说：我想坚持，我想要你坚持，可以吗？他说，如果不是因为孩子，他一定要娶我！一边是舍不得这份感情，一边是内疚和不安，我真的很痛苦。每次跟他谈分手的话题，最后都是被他感动而作罢。可能所有人都不会相信，那个时候我们都还没见过面，心却早已失落。
经过他的多次请求，我们终于见面了，在我们都喜欢的咖啡店里。我其实是一个很容易害羞的人，虽然已经不年轻了，但是心理年龄好像还没长大。我一直都低着头，不敢看他，也不让他看我。他笑着说，真是个傻瓜！
下不定决心
后来每次见面，我一直想跟他谈分手的事，但是他一直在岔开话题。吃饭的时候，他记得我喜欢的每一样东西，点的都是我喜欢的。我明明心里很感动，但是对他就是很冷淡。有一次，在车里，他看着我，然后突然揽过我说：我要吻你一下。然后一下子就吻住了我，我根本来不及反抗，大脑一片空白。等我反应过来，又气又羞，所以就借这件事发脾气，一下子打开车门，摔门而去。当时我自己也吓了一跳，后来他发短信说：说实话，我一直在问自己，可以忍受你摔几次车门？他说他想爱我，但是我的态度真的让他犹豫！
那个时候，我才发现，原来要失去他，我会这么难过，好像心里空了一大块。经过那件事以后，可能真的伤到了他，他变得很冷漠，总是说很忙，我觉得他好像在逃避什么。当我下定决心想说离开他，他却坚决反对。我犹犹豫豫、恍恍惚惚，不知道该怎么做。我想离开他，今天就是想下决心！所以想把我的故事说出来，给这段不应该的感情画上一个句号。我但愿从来也没有认识过他，真的！也想告诉其他的女性朋友，千万不要放任自己的感情，因为每个人对自己的感情都是要负责的，也是要付出代价的！
画外音
从她的叙述中，真的挺难看出这是一个已经三十出头的成熟女人，或许她的父母和丈夫确实太宠她了，所以在这方面很单纯，感觉就像是个20出头的青春女孩为了自己的初恋苦恼欢喜，有时还“作”一番。如果真是这样，我们还能为他们“浪漫纯真”的爱情感动唏嘘一番，可惜不是。婚外情之所以更容易让女人受伤，是因为沉重的道德枷锁，使她们总是先于男人忏悔。其实，当女人开始考虑向家庭退缩的时候，男人通常早已厌倦，因为他早已打定主意不离婚，孩子只是一个借口而已！
讲述人：语默(化名)，女，32岁
采访时间：3月6日
采访方式：QQ
［她一早就约好和我在QQ上聊，她说她一定要把这个故事告诉我，在离开之前做一个了断。］
未见面的爱人
在别人眼里，我是很幸福的一个女人。物质丰裕，和丈夫有一家运营不错的公司；夫妻恩爱，丈夫英俊温和，对我百依百顺，几乎没有什么可挑剔的。可老天总不会让人十全十美，我们年幼的孩子得了重病，四处求医，却无法根治。因为心情压抑，又不愿增加老公的压力，所以我很想有个人能说说话。
有一天，在聊天室里偶然看到一个英文名字，是一部我喜欢的外国影片的名字。没想到就这样认识了仲天，他和我是同行，让我觉得一下子就有了共同语言。我其实交朋友蛮挑剔的，并不是一个随便的人，可他却轻而易举地让我信任并欣赏。我们有太多相同的爱好，比如都喜欢STARBUCKS的咖啡，都喜欢外国电影，喜欢音乐和健身。一开始，我真的没有想很多，只把他当成一个有共同话题的朋友，而且我一直跟他强调：我的先生非常爱我。而他对他的太太似乎有颇多不满，只因为他很疼儿子，所以宁愿忍受下去。其实我很不喜欢一个男人在别的女人面前说自己太太的不是，所以我一直希望他能好好跟太太沟通。
我们之间的转变是在他的一次出差之后。他常在开会中途跑出来，看看我是不是在线，即使不在，也会留下很多留言，似乎很牵挂的样子。他很信任我，几乎把他所有的情况都告诉我，他说他对我毫不设防。出差回来以后，他就对我说：我已经爱上了你，很用心。我当时真的吓了一跳，因为那个时候我们认识才10几天吧，而且彼此还没见过面。我不是小女孩了，怎么会轻易相信这样的表白。
每天说分手
其实我是一个很敏感也很脆弱的人，可能外表看起来活泼开朗，但是心里真的很想有一个精神上的支柱。而且他所做的事，真的让人没办法抗拒。每天早上上班前，都会发个短信给我，会提醒我天气冷暖；有客户送他一盒好吃的曲奇，他会想着留给我吃；跟朋友出去喝咖啡，看到巧克力，他会自己买一块，然后再买一块一样的留给我；为了方便跟我联系，他一定要送我一个手机并且申请了一个专门的号码，只是为了跟他联系。因为我始终都不肯见他，他就把这些东西都放在酒店的大堂，让我自己去取。当我看到他写的纸条：给我的墨墨。我真的很感动，心里暖暖的，而且我们都是没什么心机的人，在一起好像两个大学生一样单纯。他其实是很忙的，但是他真的非常宠我，有好几次，在陪国外客户的时候他都会跑出来打电话给我，只是告诉我他很想我，他爱我。有时我会故意问他，有多爱？他说，非常非常爱。就是这样，我一步步地被他感动，一点点地捧出了自己的心，再没法收回。
其实我知道，我们这样是没有结果的。所以我差不多每天都在跟他说“分手”，但是每一天他都对我说：我想坚持，我想要你坚持，可以吗？他说，如果不是因为孩子，他一定要娶我！一边是舍不得这份感情，一边是内疚和不安，我真的很痛苦。每次跟他谈分手的话题，最后都是被他感动而作罢。可能所有人都不会相信，那个时候我们都还没见过面，心却早已失落。
经过他的多次请求，我们终于见面了，在我们都喜欢的咖啡店里。我其实是一个很容易害羞的人，虽然已经不年轻了，但是心理年龄好像还没长大。我一直都低着头，不敢看他，也不让他看我。他笑着说，真是个傻瓜！
下不定决心
后来每次见面，我一直想跟他谈分手的事，但是他一直在岔开话题。吃饭的时候，他记得我喜欢的每一样东西，点的都是我喜欢的。我明明心里很感动，但是对他就是很冷淡。有一次，在车里，他看着我，然后突然揽过我说：我要吻你一下。然后一下子就吻住了我，我根本来不及反抗，大脑一片空白。等我反应过来，又气又羞，所以就借这件事发脾气，一下子打开车门，摔门而去。当时我自己也吓了一跳，后来他发短信说：说实话，我一直在问自己，可以忍受你摔几次车门？他说他想爱我，但是我的态度真的让他犹豫！
那个时候，我才发现，原来要失去他，我会这么难过，好像心里空了一大块。经过那件事以后，可能真的伤到了他，他变得很冷漠，总是说很忙，我觉得他好像在逃避什么。当我下定决心想说离开他，他却坚决反对。我犹犹豫豫、恍恍惚惚，不知道该怎么做。我想离开他，今天就是想下决心！所以想把我的故事说出来，给这段不应该的感情画上一个句号。我但愿从来也没有认识过他，真的！也想告诉其他的女性朋友，千万不要放任自己的感情，因为每个人对自己的感情都是要负责的，也是要付出代价的！
画外音
从她的叙述中，真的挺难看出这是一个已经三十出头的成熟女人，或许她的父母和丈夫确实太宠她了，所以在这方面很单纯，感觉就像是个20出头的青春女孩为了自己的初恋苦恼欢喜，有时还“作”一番。如果真是这样，我们还能为他们“浪漫纯真”的爱情感动唏嘘一番，可惜不是。婚外情之所以更容易让女人受伤，是因为沉重的道德枷锁，使她们总是先于男人忏悔。其实，当女人开始考虑向家庭退缩的时候，男人通常早已厌倦，因为他早已打定主意不离婚，孩子只是一个借口而已！
Sunday, November 25, 2007
ZT: 不玩游戏的小孩是傻瓜 and ...
http://blog.creaders.net/sunwe01/user_blog_diary.php?did=9223
豆豆从小是个游戏迷, 家里各种电子游戏, 计算机游戏应有尽有, 有一些是我们作为生日礼物或圣诞礼物送给他的, 也有些是他用自己省下的零花钱买的. 那时我们工作很忙, 晚上周末加班是常事, 下班回来又被小儿子缠住, 所以花在豆豆身上的时间很少, 他更是乐得我们不管他, 每天躲在自己房间里玩游戏玩得不亦乐乎. 问他功课做了没有, 回答总是早做完了, 什么时候做的? 在学校午饭时间或是在放学回来的校车上. 可期末成绩单一来就露馅了, 不是功课没做, 就是做了没交, 明明我帮他检查过的功课到交的时候却找不到了. 我真担心他为玩游戏荒废了学业, 弄不好连大学门都进不去.
豆豆上高中前的那个暑假, 我们全家回国度假, 见了不少亲戚朋友. 其中一位在大学教书的朋友很会哄小孩, 和豆豆一见如故. 他在计算机系教多媒体, 听说豆豆喜欢计算机游戏, 便带豆豆去他的实验室, 把他手下研究生做的课题给豆豆当游戏玩. 豆豆一边玩一边对每个课题品头论足一番, 什么地方做得好, 什么地方需要改进, 朋友居然称赞豆豆的见解很有独到之处, 豆豆更是对这个伯伯佩服得五体投地. 临别朋友对豆豆说: “我教你两句话, 第一句, 不玩游戏的小孩是傻瓜. 游戏多好玩呀, 傻子才不玩呢.” 豆豆听了笑着点头称是, 还得意地斜我一眼. 朋友继续说: “还有第二句: 光玩游戏不干其他事的小孩是大傻瓜. 你想想, 这么聪明的小孩, 什么都不学, 光玩游戏, 把自己都浪费了, 你说是不是大傻瓜?” 豆豆不再傻笑, 作出若有所思狀.
上高中后, 不知是豆豆长大了, 还是伯伯的话让他听进去了, 他学习努力多了, 成绩也直线上升, 玩游戏的水平更是高了一个层次. 先是计算机马力不够了, 他花了很多时间到网上查找各种配件, 给自己组装了一台全新的计算机, 花钱不多, 玩游戏的效果却比他所有朋友的机器都好. 后来发现他认识的朋友里没人能和他的水平相比, 而他在网上打仗需要一队人马, 大家势均力敌才好玩. 他雄心勃勃地打算建一个网站, 好在世界范围内招兵买马. 可要建一个网站并不那么容易, 尤其他设计的网站五脏具全, 有会员登记, 论坛和留言板, 虽说有现成的软件, 但需要重新改装, 而且涉及网页服务器及数据库, 这对不懂编程的孩子是一个很大的挑战. 我给豆豆大致讲了网站的工作原理, 又给他买了一堆参考书. 他鼓捣了几个星期, 终于把网站弄成了, 他对计算机编程开始感兴趣, 开始在学校选修有关课程. 再后来他发现游戏领域有很大的商机, 他开了公司, 自封为老板, 像模像样地做起生意来, 生意忙时, 他还雇了两个同学做帮工, 居然赚了不少钱.
报考大学时, 如果学着别人的样子填表, 觉得太一般了: 他练跆拳道一直练到黑腰带, 可没什么比赛成绩, 他也学过几年钢琴, 可技术平平. 我们索性把他玩游戏玩出的 “副产品” 列出来, 居然有不少亮点. 他参加的唯一的学生俱乐部是因为人家需要他帮忙做网站, 被封了一个技术主任的头衔. 他代表学校参加的唯一的比赛是洲里的计算机编程比赛, 他取得了不错的名次, 还拿到一些奖学金; 他在学校IT部做义务技术服务, 为教职员工解决和计算机有关的问题, 并因此拿回一张奖状. 再加上他开的小公司, 履历表看上去就不错了. 他报的是计算机系, 这些经历都能粘上边, 所以申请表寄出没多久就收到录取通知了.
大学一年纪快结束时, 豆豆打算找个暑假实习的工作. 他的标准很高: 一定要做软件工程师, 稍微简单点的工作, 诸如质量检查或技术支持, 都看不上眼. 在众多招收实习生的公司中, 只有三家符合他的条件. 面试时, 人家问他是否做过自动化方面的程序, 他给人家讲他如何写程序使他的网上游戏自动操作, 昼夜不断, 而他本人则可照常上课睡觉. 意想不到的是, 面试的三家公司居然同时录用了他, 他最喜欢的那家公司为了能争取到他, 把工资提高了百分之二十.
豆豆从小是个游戏迷, 家里各种电子游戏, 计算机游戏应有尽有, 有一些是我们作为生日礼物或圣诞礼物送给他的, 也有些是他用自己省下的零花钱买的. 那时我们工作很忙, 晚上周末加班是常事, 下班回来又被小儿子缠住, 所以花在豆豆身上的时间很少, 他更是乐得我们不管他, 每天躲在自己房间里玩游戏玩得不亦乐乎. 问他功课做了没有, 回答总是早做完了, 什么时候做的? 在学校午饭时间或是在放学回来的校车上. 可期末成绩单一来就露馅了, 不是功课没做, 就是做了没交, 明明我帮他检查过的功课到交的时候却找不到了. 我真担心他为玩游戏荒废了学业, 弄不好连大学门都进不去.
豆豆上高中前的那个暑假, 我们全家回国度假, 见了不少亲戚朋友. 其中一位在大学教书的朋友很会哄小孩, 和豆豆一见如故. 他在计算机系教多媒体, 听说豆豆喜欢计算机游戏, 便带豆豆去他的实验室, 把他手下研究生做的课题给豆豆当游戏玩. 豆豆一边玩一边对每个课题品头论足一番, 什么地方做得好, 什么地方需要改进, 朋友居然称赞豆豆的见解很有独到之处, 豆豆更是对这个伯伯佩服得五体投地. 临别朋友对豆豆说: “我教你两句话, 第一句, 不玩游戏的小孩是傻瓜. 游戏多好玩呀, 傻子才不玩呢.” 豆豆听了笑着点头称是, 还得意地斜我一眼. 朋友继续说: “还有第二句: 光玩游戏不干其他事的小孩是大傻瓜. 你想想, 这么聪明的小孩, 什么都不学, 光玩游戏, 把自己都浪费了, 你说是不是大傻瓜?” 豆豆不再傻笑, 作出若有所思狀.
上高中后, 不知是豆豆长大了, 还是伯伯的话让他听进去了, 他学习努力多了, 成绩也直线上升, 玩游戏的水平更是高了一个层次. 先是计算机马力不够了, 他花了很多时间到网上查找各种配件, 给自己组装了一台全新的计算机, 花钱不多, 玩游戏的效果却比他所有朋友的机器都好. 后来发现他认识的朋友里没人能和他的水平相比, 而他在网上打仗需要一队人马, 大家势均力敌才好玩. 他雄心勃勃地打算建一个网站, 好在世界范围内招兵买马. 可要建一个网站并不那么容易, 尤其他设计的网站五脏具全, 有会员登记, 论坛和留言板, 虽说有现成的软件, 但需要重新改装, 而且涉及网页服务器及数据库, 这对不懂编程的孩子是一个很大的挑战. 我给豆豆大致讲了网站的工作原理, 又给他买了一堆参考书. 他鼓捣了几个星期, 终于把网站弄成了, 他对计算机编程开始感兴趣, 开始在学校选修有关课程. 再后来他发现游戏领域有很大的商机, 他开了公司, 自封为老板, 像模像样地做起生意来, 生意忙时, 他还雇了两个同学做帮工, 居然赚了不少钱.
报考大学时, 如果学着别人的样子填表, 觉得太一般了: 他练跆拳道一直练到黑腰带, 可没什么比赛成绩, 他也学过几年钢琴, 可技术平平. 我们索性把他玩游戏玩出的 “副产品” 列出来, 居然有不少亮点. 他参加的唯一的学生俱乐部是因为人家需要他帮忙做网站, 被封了一个技术主任的头衔. 他代表学校参加的唯一的比赛是洲里的计算机编程比赛, 他取得了不错的名次, 还拿到一些奖学金; 他在学校IT部做义务技术服务, 为教职员工解决和计算机有关的问题, 并因此拿回一张奖状. 再加上他开的小公司, 履历表看上去就不错了. 他报的是计算机系, 这些经历都能粘上边, 所以申请表寄出没多久就收到录取通知了.
大学一年纪快结束时, 豆豆打算找个暑假实习的工作. 他的标准很高: 一定要做软件工程师, 稍微简单点的工作, 诸如质量检查或技术支持, 都看不上眼. 在众多招收实习生的公司中, 只有三家符合他的条件. 面试时, 人家问他是否做过自动化方面的程序, 他给人家讲他如何写程序使他的网上游戏自动操作, 昼夜不断, 而他本人则可照常上课睡觉. 意想不到的是, 面试的三家公司居然同时录用了他, 他最喜欢的那家公司为了能争取到他, 把工资提高了百分之二十.
ZT: 爱了也只能甩掉的男人
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?atid=277845&id=282557
找一个男人相爱，本身是件很美妙的事情，在相爱的过程里又被他兴高采烈地娶回家，更是锦上添花了。女人，来人间窈窈窕窕地走一遭，不和几个男人在情感上来来回回一番，总是辜负了红颜，谁也不可能一生只爱过一个人。爱，不怕多，只怕乱，更怕给错了人弄成了自己的伤。这世间有些男人不能爱，爱了也只能甩，还只配女人们把他们狠狠地甩了一次又一次。不然，他们就会开起了“染坊”，把个情感的天空“染”成天下乌鸦一般黑。
永远“撇腿”的男人。这种男人就是情欲动物，生殖器就是他的第三条腿，面对女人，应该说是他没睡过的女人永远有“性”趣。做了他的女人，“绿帽子”要准备一大堆。你没逮到，他就一张铁嘴死也不承认，你若抓了现行，他就一把鼻涕一把泪，磕头下跪的求你原谅，那一刻怎么也看不出还像个男人。然后呢？那条“腿”依旧往外“撇”。谎言就是他们的日常用语，情感抛在云霄外，和不同的女人上床是他最大的人生追求，打死也不回头。和这样的男人在一起，除了伤心还面临健康上的威胁，现在不甩还待到何时？
永远不得志的男人。这种男人豪言壮语无限多，手边却干不成一件事。一碰到挫折就龟缩进角落，还振振有词是他不愿意“同流合污”。他永远不成功，可他说是没“伯乐”，他永远不得志，因为社会没去适应他。和这样的男人在一起，你就是他精神的垃圾桶，苦的、坏的、烂的都扔给你，不搅到你心情糟他就不罢休。他们眼里的世界是乱的，人们是恶的，天空是暗的，就他一人是好的，“好”到自己只能抱着梦想当饭吃。和这样的男人在一起，除了你是救世主让他成名又得利，不然，他会一直挣扎在崩溃里。这样的男人，只能甩。
永远和你玩暧昧的男人。这样的男人没有什么真正的爱，他也懒得去爱谁，他只爱他自己。可到底还是离不开女人，所以他们喜欢和女人玩暧昧。你最好招之即来，挥之即去，更好的是自己还能倒贴上来去的路费。你进他退，你退他进，尺寸还把握的刚刚好，没有爱不影响他们玩，不负一点的责任更让他们如鱼得水。跟他们要婚姻，他们就会手一摊说“对不起”，更无耻的还会加上一句“没想到你也那么俗。”然后就从此在你面前消失，再找新的目标接着暧昧。和这样的男人在一起，除了你比他还能玩，要不就在他甩你之前先甩了他。
永远不“绝情”的男人。这里说的“绝情”不是指伤害，而是当断要断。一些男人明明去意已决，或者已经另结了新欢，可还和旧爱牵连不断。说是不忍心，实则是害了旧的又伤了新的，自己也弄到一个里外不是人。了断一份情，落到哪个女人身上都是一场惊天动地的伤，可永远不会了断的男人爱上一个又不忘一个，这个也要管，那个也要帮，如果你是最终的那一个，你就受得了？不爱了就干脆的说，别去凌迟爱人的心，爱了就尽眼前的责任，你以为你能抚慰几个女人的心？和这样的男人在一起，你的心会累到不够用，还是甩了的好。
永远逃避的男人。这样的男人像是长不大的孩子，而且常常是自己就根本不想长。他们永远不面对现实，不直面生活，对于情感他们更是不清不楚。他们在自己的世界里自娱自乐，生活无忧时或许是位好好先生，可一遇到了问题就能躲就躲，能逃就逃。什么担当，什么解决，什么沟通，在他那里通通没有用，他们就像是只鸵鸟，只是把头藏在了沙子里就以为万事大吉。要不就干脆耍赖皮，你爱怎样就怎样，我就是“死猪不怕开水烫”了。他们先逃过一关是一关，至于是不是伤害了别人那就管不了那么多了。这样的男人要来干什么？早点甩。
甩啦，甩啦，甩了他们。这些男人或许算不上很坏，但爱上了就会让你伤到爬不起，痛到流干了泪，还一点都不值。男人要爱也要用，中看不中用的男人，不配得到你的爱，只配用来甩。常常听到女人们感叹男人多无情，可摊到了自己身上，即便是最坏的也难放开手，那你就得振作起精神,希望你的爱能够让那浪子回过头。好男人是女人成就的，可男人们的恶习有时候也是某些女人纵容出来的。不要做男人的猎物，这样你们之间开始就会失去尊重；也不要做男人的对手，这样会让情感燃起硝烟。女人，要做就做一处迷人的风景，不欣赏你的，你也不屑，欣赏你的，自然会终身把你守护。
如果我们遇到这样的一些男人，特别是你给了机会还屡教不改的，那就甩，而且要狠狠的甩，你看他们还得意？还能伤害谁？还充什么大头鸟？错了就要有教训，至少要明白，女人们也不会一直傻。不改？！就随他失落去吧，只能一辈子没人要，自己去和自己玩。
找一个男人相爱，本身是件很美妙的事情，在相爱的过程里又被他兴高采烈地娶回家，更是锦上添花了。女人，来人间窈窈窕窕地走一遭，不和几个男人在情感上来来回回一番，总是辜负了红颜，谁也不可能一生只爱过一个人。爱，不怕多，只怕乱，更怕给错了人弄成了自己的伤。这世间有些男人不能爱，爱了也只能甩，还只配女人们把他们狠狠地甩了一次又一次。不然，他们就会开起了“染坊”，把个情感的天空“染”成天下乌鸦一般黑。
永远“撇腿”的男人。这种男人就是情欲动物，生殖器就是他的第三条腿，面对女人，应该说是他没睡过的女人永远有“性”趣。做了他的女人，“绿帽子”要准备一大堆。你没逮到，他就一张铁嘴死也不承认，你若抓了现行，他就一把鼻涕一把泪，磕头下跪的求你原谅，那一刻怎么也看不出还像个男人。然后呢？那条“腿”依旧往外“撇”。谎言就是他们的日常用语，情感抛在云霄外，和不同的女人上床是他最大的人生追求，打死也不回头。和这样的男人在一起，除了伤心还面临健康上的威胁，现在不甩还待到何时？
永远不得志的男人。这种男人豪言壮语无限多，手边却干不成一件事。一碰到挫折就龟缩进角落，还振振有词是他不愿意“同流合污”。他永远不成功，可他说是没“伯乐”，他永远不得志，因为社会没去适应他。和这样的男人在一起，你就是他精神的垃圾桶，苦的、坏的、烂的都扔给你，不搅到你心情糟他就不罢休。他们眼里的世界是乱的，人们是恶的，天空是暗的，就他一人是好的，“好”到自己只能抱着梦想当饭吃。和这样的男人在一起，除了你是救世主让他成名又得利，不然，他会一直挣扎在崩溃里。这样的男人，只能甩。
永远和你玩暧昧的男人。这样的男人没有什么真正的爱，他也懒得去爱谁，他只爱他自己。可到底还是离不开女人，所以他们喜欢和女人玩暧昧。你最好招之即来，挥之即去，更好的是自己还能倒贴上来去的路费。你进他退，你退他进，尺寸还把握的刚刚好，没有爱不影响他们玩，不负一点的责任更让他们如鱼得水。跟他们要婚姻，他们就会手一摊说“对不起”，更无耻的还会加上一句“没想到你也那么俗。”然后就从此在你面前消失，再找新的目标接着暧昧。和这样的男人在一起，除了你比他还能玩，要不就在他甩你之前先甩了他。
永远不“绝情”的男人。这里说的“绝情”不是指伤害，而是当断要断。一些男人明明去意已决，或者已经另结了新欢，可还和旧爱牵连不断。说是不忍心，实则是害了旧的又伤了新的，自己也弄到一个里外不是人。了断一份情，落到哪个女人身上都是一场惊天动地的伤，可永远不会了断的男人爱上一个又不忘一个，这个也要管，那个也要帮，如果你是最终的那一个，你就受得了？不爱了就干脆的说，别去凌迟爱人的心，爱了就尽眼前的责任，你以为你能抚慰几个女人的心？和这样的男人在一起，你的心会累到不够用，还是甩了的好。
永远逃避的男人。这样的男人像是长不大的孩子，而且常常是自己就根本不想长。他们永远不面对现实，不直面生活，对于情感他们更是不清不楚。他们在自己的世界里自娱自乐，生活无忧时或许是位好好先生，可一遇到了问题就能躲就躲，能逃就逃。什么担当，什么解决，什么沟通，在他那里通通没有用，他们就像是只鸵鸟，只是把头藏在了沙子里就以为万事大吉。要不就干脆耍赖皮，你爱怎样就怎样，我就是“死猪不怕开水烫”了。他们先逃过一关是一关，至于是不是伤害了别人那就管不了那么多了。这样的男人要来干什么？早点甩。
甩啦，甩啦，甩了他们。这些男人或许算不上很坏，但爱上了就会让你伤到爬不起，痛到流干了泪，还一点都不值。男人要爱也要用，中看不中用的男人，不配得到你的爱，只配用来甩。常常听到女人们感叹男人多无情，可摊到了自己身上，即便是最坏的也难放开手，那你就得振作起精神,希望你的爱能够让那浪子回过头。好男人是女人成就的，可男人们的恶习有时候也是某些女人纵容出来的。不要做男人的猎物，这样你们之间开始就会失去尊重；也不要做男人的对手，这样会让情感燃起硝烟。女人，要做就做一处迷人的风景，不欣赏你的，你也不屑，欣赏你的，自然会终身把你守护。
如果我们遇到这样的一些男人，特别是你给了机会还屡教不改的，那就甩，而且要狠狠的甩，你看他们还得意？还能伤害谁？还充什么大头鸟？错了就要有教训，至少要明白，女人们也不会一直傻。不改？！就随他失落去吧，只能一辈子没人要，自己去和自己玩。
Monday, November 19, 2007
ZT: 海外留学 女生不可不知的一些事实
http://news.creaders.net/immigration/newsViewer.php?nid=326239&id=762876
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北美论坛 2007-11-17 21:40:17
这故事发生在我朋友的朋友身上，事情是这样的……
有一天这个女生到加油站加油，加完油之后她把加油枪放好，就坐回车子里要准备回家。才刚坐下来，她右车座的车门就被打开!
突然一个长得很丑很丑的男人就直接坐进她的右车座。这女孩吓了一跳，不知道这丑陋的男人想要干嘛!
这男人开口说了，“小姐，我没有交通工具回家，我一直待在这里回不去，你能拜托载我一程吗?”
这女生很害怕，直接就拒绝了他，说她真的很不方便，不好意思。但这男人却一直死缠着她不走，一直拜托她只要帮帮忙载一程就好了。
这女孩心里觉得很可怕，但又耍不开这人，所以她就跟这男人讲了，“好，我答应载你一程.不过因为我倒车技术很不好，怕撞到后面的东西，所以你可不可以帮我下车看看？”
这笑容怪异的男人就下了车，走到车后面，准备要帮那女生看路指挥。
这女生等这男人一下了车，关了门的同时，迅速地把门锁起来，发动了引擎飞快地离开现场!
她心脏已经快从嘴巴跳出来，全身发冷，两脚发软。但她非常惊险地逃脱了这诡异的男人。
她终于安全地开回到家，好不容易松了一口气……当她正要下车时，她不经意地往右车座扫过一眼，她在右车座的地下……看到了一把斧头……
下面是初到英国读书时，校方给每人的防身手册，短短的几字，认真的想一想，还真的有它的道理。
一、回到家门之前准备好开门的锁匙，不要站在门口才来找锁匙。
二、开车送朋友回家，要等朋友进了家门才好离去。
三、平常在身上一定要备有各金额的零钱(硬币)。
四、发生不幸时，一定要镇定，记得对方的特征。
五、女性朋友要常备着保险套，发生不幸时，要求对方使用。
六、行车时，一定要把车门反锁。停车熄火熄灯后，留在车内稍作观察片刻再开车门出来，将值钱的东西放在看不见的地方。
七、皮夹内放有自己的名字及亲友名字、电话的小卡片。
八、开两个以上的银行户口，平常只带放零用钱(出门够用就好)的提款卡。希望能把意外降到最低，若不幸发生了意外，也尽可能将伤害减到最少。
九、进出电梯注意同乘者是否面露邪恶、不按楼层，尽量站在控制钮的地方，一旦被攻击，立即用手拍打每层楼按钮，此时，电梯会在每个楼层停下来，同时对外大喊失火了！ ’不要徒手跟歹徒搏斗。
十、如果与人合租房，必须约法三章，不得随意将钥匙交给其它朋友，免出入复杂。
十一、晚上出门尽量拿件外套，将皮包套住，避免被抢劫。
十二、一旦发现被跟踪时，可以用脚踢或皮包拍打路边停车，触发报器响声，引起别人注意。
十三、搭计程车时，注意前座有没有斜靠下，以防藏有他人。
十四、开车族，上车前注意周遭有没有人，上车后第一个动作是按下门锁，以防有人突然开门而入；停车时，千万不要把家里电话写在车窗前，避免有人故意叫你移车时行歹。
十五、为防假车祸，真抢劫，碰到车祸，千万不要马上出来，最好先冷静观察对方是否有好几人或来者不善，最好马上开走，同时猛按喇叭，引起旁人的注意。
十六、停车时，如果有他车跟着，停妥后，不要马上出来，等对方先车走远后，以防被劫持。
十七、单身到公共场所喝东西，如果没有喝完就去上厕所或离开打电话，后就最好不要再喝了，以免中间被下药。
十八、晚归时，应走灯光明亮的街道，或是逆向行走，以便掌握路况；上楼时，先按门铃请家人下楼接，以免歹徒躲在楼梯间。
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
北美论坛 2007-11-17 21:40:17
这故事发生在我朋友的朋友身上，事情是这样的……
有一天这个女生到加油站加油，加完油之后她把加油枪放好，就坐回车子里要准备回家。才刚坐下来，她右车座的车门就被打开!
突然一个长得很丑很丑的男人就直接坐进她的右车座。这女孩吓了一跳，不知道这丑陋的男人想要干嘛!
这男人开口说了，“小姐，我没有交通工具回家，我一直待在这里回不去，你能拜托载我一程吗?”
这女生很害怕，直接就拒绝了他，说她真的很不方便，不好意思。但这男人却一直死缠着她不走，一直拜托她只要帮帮忙载一程就好了。
这女孩心里觉得很可怕，但又耍不开这人，所以她就跟这男人讲了，“好，我答应载你一程.不过因为我倒车技术很不好，怕撞到后面的东西，所以你可不可以帮我下车看看？”
这笑容怪异的男人就下了车，走到车后面，准备要帮那女生看路指挥。
这女生等这男人一下了车，关了门的同时，迅速地把门锁起来，发动了引擎飞快地离开现场!
她心脏已经快从嘴巴跳出来，全身发冷，两脚发软。但她非常惊险地逃脱了这诡异的男人。
她终于安全地开回到家，好不容易松了一口气……当她正要下车时，她不经意地往右车座扫过一眼，她在右车座的地下……看到了一把斧头……
下面是初到英国读书时，校方给每人的防身手册，短短的几字，认真的想一想，还真的有它的道理。
一、回到家门之前准备好开门的锁匙，不要站在门口才来找锁匙。
二、开车送朋友回家，要等朋友进了家门才好离去。
三、平常在身上一定要备有各金额的零钱(硬币)。
四、发生不幸时，一定要镇定，记得对方的特征。
五、女性朋友要常备着保险套，发生不幸时，要求对方使用。
六、行车时，一定要把车门反锁。停车熄火熄灯后，留在车内稍作观察片刻再开车门出来，将值钱的东西放在看不见的地方。
七、皮夹内放有自己的名字及亲友名字、电话的小卡片。
八、开两个以上的银行户口，平常只带放零用钱(出门够用就好)的提款卡。希望能把意外降到最低，若不幸发生了意外，也尽可能将伤害减到最少。
九、进出电梯注意同乘者是否面露邪恶、不按楼层，尽量站在控制钮的地方，一旦被攻击，立即用手拍打每层楼按钮，此时，电梯会在每个楼层停下来，同时对外大喊失火了！ ’不要徒手跟歹徒搏斗。
十、如果与人合租房，必须约法三章，不得随意将钥匙交给其它朋友，免出入复杂。
十一、晚上出门尽量拿件外套，将皮包套住，避免被抢劫。
十二、一旦发现被跟踪时，可以用脚踢或皮包拍打路边停车，触发报器响声，引起别人注意。
十三、搭计程车时，注意前座有没有斜靠下，以防藏有他人。
十四、开车族，上车前注意周遭有没有人，上车后第一个动作是按下门锁，以防有人突然开门而入；停车时，千万不要把家里电话写在车窗前，避免有人故意叫你移车时行歹。
十五、为防假车祸，真抢劫，碰到车祸，千万不要马上出来，最好先冷静观察对方是否有好几人或来者不善，最好马上开走，同时猛按喇叭，引起旁人的注意。
十六、停车时，如果有他车跟着，停妥后，不要马上出来，等对方先车走远后，以防被劫持。
十七、单身到公共场所喝东西，如果没有喝完就去上厕所或离开打电话，后就最好不要再喝了，以免中间被下药。
十八、晚归时，应走灯光明亮的街道，或是逆向行走，以便掌握路况；上楼时，先按门铃请家人下楼接，以免歹徒躲在楼梯间。
Monday, November 12, 2007
ZT: 如果你被骗又失恋
http://news.creaders.net/society/newsViewer.php?nid=325695&id=761765
Also see bobhu9112 email 11/13/07
男人如是说
A 33岁 会计师
或许每个男人都是花心的，但花心并不代表不真心。谁都会有欺骗，生活中必不可少，比如我上网聊天交朋友就不会让老婆知道。男人会对一个人有责任感，但是也需要经常的爱的刺激。其实女人的天性也是如此。有些事不是对或错那么简单。
B 30岁 广告人
想不被骗，先要了解男人。不要太相信男人说“我爱你！”，因为男人是性的动物，有时说话不会过脑子，爱与不爱，他自己也不是很清楚。我想真正的爱情可能在学生时代才会有，成年以后的男人考虑得更多的是两个人是否适合在一起，彼此不讨厌，很舒服才会长久。其实女人也一样，心里舒服，才是幸福的。
C 30岁 教师
其实你知道该怎么做，感情没人能控制，按自己的感觉去做吧。人是个能适应任何情况的动物。不管痛苦、快乐，保持自己的信念吧！
D 33岁 公司副总
男人喜欢过程，女人喜欢结果。如果一段感情没有结果，女人会觉得受伤害，甚至认为被骗。其实当男人说“我爱你”时应该不乏真情的成分，如果他深情地看着你时，也未必是假装的。没有给你结果，并非从未爱过。有些事情开始是为了游戏，结束时可能两败俱伤，男人也是有感情的。如果你爱过，就记住曾经有过的快乐吧。
E 29岁 警官
失恋有什么大不了的，难道女人惟一的追求就是躺在一个男人的怀里享受爱情吗？有意义的事多着呢！如果是现代人，就该敢爱敢恨，行就行，不行就不行，没什么大不了的。要想男人看得起，就该自己看得起自己。自己不把自己当事，别人能把你当回事吗？诱人上床容易，留住人心要靠自己的实力。只要自立，必定能碰到优秀好男人！人生苦短几十年，要学会让自己过得舒服！
F 32岁 市场专员
这事只能靠自己调整吧！就像小孩子摔倒了，家长越是心疼地去扶他哄他，他就哭得越凶。如果不去理他，他倒会自己爬起来。摔个跟头不丢人，感情的事也是这样，别人再劝都是闲杂人等，只有靠自己。会好的，半年过后再回头看看，其实没什么。
G 31岁 客服
别把某个人看成是你的整个天，这样早晚有一天要塌下来。
Also see bobhu9112 email 11/13/07
男人如是说
A 33岁 会计师
或许每个男人都是花心的，但花心并不代表不真心。谁都会有欺骗，生活中必不可少，比如我上网聊天交朋友就不会让老婆知道。男人会对一个人有责任感，但是也需要经常的爱的刺激。其实女人的天性也是如此。有些事不是对或错那么简单。
B 30岁 广告人
想不被骗，先要了解男人。不要太相信男人说“我爱你！”，因为男人是性的动物，有时说话不会过脑子，爱与不爱，他自己也不是很清楚。我想真正的爱情可能在学生时代才会有，成年以后的男人考虑得更多的是两个人是否适合在一起，彼此不讨厌，很舒服才会长久。其实女人也一样，心里舒服，才是幸福的。
C 30岁 教师
其实你知道该怎么做，感情没人能控制，按自己的感觉去做吧。人是个能适应任何情况的动物。不管痛苦、快乐，保持自己的信念吧！
D 33岁 公司副总
男人喜欢过程，女人喜欢结果。如果一段感情没有结果，女人会觉得受伤害，甚至认为被骗。其实当男人说“我爱你”时应该不乏真情的成分，如果他深情地看着你时，也未必是假装的。没有给你结果，并非从未爱过。有些事情开始是为了游戏，结束时可能两败俱伤，男人也是有感情的。如果你爱过，就记住曾经有过的快乐吧。
E 29岁 警官
失恋有什么大不了的，难道女人惟一的追求就是躺在一个男人的怀里享受爱情吗？有意义的事多着呢！如果是现代人，就该敢爱敢恨，行就行，不行就不行，没什么大不了的。要想男人看得起，就该自己看得起自己。自己不把自己当事，别人能把你当回事吗？诱人上床容易，留住人心要靠自己的实力。只要自立，必定能碰到优秀好男人！人生苦短几十年，要学会让自己过得舒服！
F 32岁 市场专员
这事只能靠自己调整吧！就像小孩子摔倒了，家长越是心疼地去扶他哄他，他就哭得越凶。如果不去理他，他倒会自己爬起来。摔个跟头不丢人，感情的事也是这样，别人再劝都是闲杂人等，只有靠自己。会好的，半年过后再回头看看，其实没什么。
G 31岁 客服
别把某个人看成是你的整个天，这样早晚有一天要塌下来。
Thursday, November 8, 2007
ZT: 老公沉迷色情片 妻子怎么看？
http://news.creaders.net/society/newsViewer.php?nid=325345&id=761051
老公沉迷色情片 妻子怎么看？
对于A片为什么一直存在，文化人类学家莫理斯博士所著的《裸猿》说得好：“我们的窥淫活动从生物学的角度看是不正常的。但相对而言，它有益无害，因为它不仅在一定程度上满足了我们对性的好奇感，而且避免使人们卷入可能威胁配偶关系的婚外性关系。”
在台湾发生过这样一个真实案例：夫妻结婚多年后，妻子发现丈夫越来越沉溺于色情录像带，而且还经常要求妻子与他一起看。妻子接受不了，所以总是在丈夫看得入迷的时候在旁边猛烈撞击物品表达抗议。长期如此，妻子不但拒绝与丈夫一起看A片，而且在丈夫看的时候用变本加厉的方式干扰，最终两个人都受不了彼此而闹上法庭。
A片，在这个高度开放的社会中，对于很多人来说它再也不是不可碰触的。不能说世界上所有的男人都喜欢看A片，毕竟也会有些例外，但是却至少可以说绝大部分男人都看过。
看A片，在男人看来，这似乎是件再正常不过的事情了。而在传统印象中，如果一个女人喜欢看A片，那么她不是灵魂肮脏，就是好色成瘾。假如是和男人一起看，那么就更加的不可理解了。然而,前阵子有人在博客上发表了一个言论“绝对不娶不看A片的女人”，一石激起千层浪，这个颠覆传统的言行立刻惹来了许多人的关注。那么，在当代女性当中，到底是怎么看待这个问题的呢？
1
小小 28 自由职业者
冬灵儿 32 企划
完美的玫瑰 36 设计
思泪飘 40 技术人员
不要水的鱼：你能接受你的他，在午夜时分，悄悄起床，在电脑前看一些看起来令人脸红心跳的东西吗？很多女人聊起此事都很无奈，都在问这世上还有不看A片的男人吗？
冬灵儿：可以说几乎所有的男人都爱看A片，我觉得少数那些不看A片的青壮年，肯定是有各种原因。比如看得太多了，倒了胃口；太忙了或者很挑剔；再有就是心里有障碍啦。男人婚前看A片我能接受，结婚后如果偶尔看看也还可以接受，但是如果要是经常看的话那么我会觉得很气愤。
小小：说起男人爱看A片这件事，我个人是没什么意见，尤其当男人打着一切都是为了取悦女人的旗帜而看A片时，女人又怎么忍心责怪男人？男人爱看A片，其实就像女人爱逛街一样，只是放松心情的一种方式而已，女性朋友真的不必把它当作什么严重的大事，或视为洪水猛兽般防备恐惧。说的过激点的话，我觉得只有喜欢看A片的男人才是正常的男人。受到“刺激”会帮助男人保持热情，也会让男人更加年轻。
完美的玫瑰：从某些角度讲，男人在家看A片总比出去找女人来满足他的性幻想好。但是有些男人却是因为看了A片而出去找了女人，所以真的很矛盾。不过即使女人不高兴，男人们该看还是看，即使他答应你绝对没有下次了，也难保他不会背着你偷偷地看，这样还增加了他的刺激感。很多人说男人如果喜欢看A片，说明这个男人不是生理上有问题，就是对自己不自信，我很不赞同这样的说法。如果很少数人喜欢的话，可能会说明一些问题，但是在现在绝大多数男人都看的情况下这么说未免有些太牵强了。喜欢看说明本身就是一种基本需要，难道连让男人最基本需要的机会都不给吗？
思泪飘：说我思想陈旧也好，不开通也罢，我是绝对接受不了。男人为什么要这么做，难道有自己的老婆还不满足吗？看这样的东西是对老婆的不尊重，试问有哪个女人能够接受的了？和老公结婚这么多年了，我从来没发现他有这个嗜好，而对我也依然有热情。我也要提醒一下女性朋友，如果你老公非常喜欢看的话，那么可能你没满足他，也可能自闭、自卑。
2
不要水的鱼：如果女性也看了A片……
冬灵儿：我可能是女人中少见的喜欢看A片的人，至少我的女友们都不承认她们喜欢看。因为传统，不少女人即使想看爱看，也只能一个劲憋着忍着难受着，至少不敢光明正大的去看，有些女人实在熬不住也只得关紧房门偷偷的看。这又是何苦呢，既然男人能够大大方方地看，作为新时代的女性当然也能够正当地“学习”。
小小：说句实话，因为出于好奇，在大学时和寝室的姐妹一起看过，这又怎么样呢？都什么年代了。看过之后觉得没什么好奇的，不就都是那个样子。经常看的女人更是不容易出轨，因为她可能对别人没有什么好奇感。反之那些从不看A片的女人，婚后长期只与老公一人相守，对外面的男人充满好奇与期待，身不由己的出轨就在所难免，于是家庭开始四分五裂。女人看A片不是堕落下流的表现，不是道德素养的低落，恰恰是身心健康充满活力的最佳注解。
完美的玫瑰：作为新时代女人，起码做到自己什么都明白，先发制人，而不是像一个傻瓜什么都不懂。很多女人都看过，有些甚至是和闺密一起看的。心智成熟的女人看A片没有什么不好，毕竟女人也会有幻想，而对于人类基本的权利“性”生活，谁都会经历，又有什么不好意思呢。
思泪飘：我是没有看过，而据我所知，我身边的女性朋友也没有人喜欢看这个东西。作为女人，你的伴侣只能有一个，为什么还要在视觉上寻求刺激呢？而它本身的发展已经开始恶性循环，有变态、犯罪的倾向，没多大意思，男人都不该看太多，更何况女人？
3
不要水的鱼：老公约你一起看，跑还是应允？
冬灵儿：我曾经看过一个测试，说有风情的女人最容易得男人心，能和老公一起看的女人显然会得到男人更多的热情。并且当老公想和你一起看A片的时候，心灵上并不是肮脏的，那只是一种爱的体现，谁都有权利用某种方式享受这种爱，谁也都有权利用自己的方式去诠释对对方的爱，只要心是纯洁的，爱是真诚的，就无所谓别的了。也许在共同欣赏的过程彼此的爱也会融合在一起，爱也得到了升华。
小小：我可以接受和老公一起看。做为前戏，有助于调情和下一步进行，偶尔小小的放纵，是产生情趣的最佳法宝。况且一起看的人是老公，是最亲近的人。不过我也很怕老公会一边看一边模仿画面的动作，这样我会觉得很不舒服。
完美的玫瑰：不能接受，他自己偶尔看看还可以，如果让他当着我的面去看，那就接受不了了。而且我总是觉得男人想和女人一起看A片，是一种对女性的亵渎，不尊敬。爱当然有自己的方式，但是要是神圣的，绿色的，无须模仿谁，做真实的自己才是最好的。当然爱的过程也会有结合，但那都是真情流露的，并非为肉体一时的快感而爱，爱是圣洁的，不该有污秽的东西玷污它！还有如果男人想要求女人一起看，也要先掂掂自己的分量，万一片中的男人看起来比他自己强，那么在老婆面前还有什么尊严。所以也请想要和老婆一起看的男人们三思啊！
思泪飘：男人们究竟是什么企图，本来我觉得看A片的男人就是对老婆最大的侮辱了，还要求老婆陪他们一起看，简直是天方夜谭。我觉得这样的男人很自私，这样只顾着自己开心的男人不要也罢。
和事老：
现如今我们的生活受到各种方式的冲击，当然也包括夫妻生活，它已经从以前深藏的闺房话题，渐渐转变为不用刻意回避的讨论了。而一些带有“颜色”的东西虽然明令禁止，但是仍然随处可得。A片说到底毕竟是一种商品，它展现出来的，绝对不是正常的两性关系，但看不看A片，这是一个成年人的自由。对于A片，青少年应该是绝对禁看的。对于成人来说，看多了，也会引发问题。A片不等于性的真实，而对于许多人想从A片里学技巧，这更是很悲哀的事实。
老公沉迷色情片 妻子怎么看？
对于A片为什么一直存在，文化人类学家莫理斯博士所著的《裸猿》说得好：“我们的窥淫活动从生物学的角度看是不正常的。但相对而言，它有益无害，因为它不仅在一定程度上满足了我们对性的好奇感，而且避免使人们卷入可能威胁配偶关系的婚外性关系。”
在台湾发生过这样一个真实案例：夫妻结婚多年后，妻子发现丈夫越来越沉溺于色情录像带，而且还经常要求妻子与他一起看。妻子接受不了，所以总是在丈夫看得入迷的时候在旁边猛烈撞击物品表达抗议。长期如此，妻子不但拒绝与丈夫一起看A片，而且在丈夫看的时候用变本加厉的方式干扰，最终两个人都受不了彼此而闹上法庭。
A片，在这个高度开放的社会中，对于很多人来说它再也不是不可碰触的。不能说世界上所有的男人都喜欢看A片，毕竟也会有些例外，但是却至少可以说绝大部分男人都看过。
看A片，在男人看来，这似乎是件再正常不过的事情了。而在传统印象中，如果一个女人喜欢看A片，那么她不是灵魂肮脏，就是好色成瘾。假如是和男人一起看，那么就更加的不可理解了。然而,前阵子有人在博客上发表了一个言论“绝对不娶不看A片的女人”，一石激起千层浪，这个颠覆传统的言行立刻惹来了许多人的关注。那么，在当代女性当中，到底是怎么看待这个问题的呢？
1
小小 28 自由职业者
冬灵儿 32 企划
完美的玫瑰 36 设计
思泪飘 40 技术人员
不要水的鱼：你能接受你的他，在午夜时分，悄悄起床，在电脑前看一些看起来令人脸红心跳的东西吗？很多女人聊起此事都很无奈，都在问这世上还有不看A片的男人吗？
冬灵儿：可以说几乎所有的男人都爱看A片，我觉得少数那些不看A片的青壮年，肯定是有各种原因。比如看得太多了，倒了胃口；太忙了或者很挑剔；再有就是心里有障碍啦。男人婚前看A片我能接受，结婚后如果偶尔看看也还可以接受，但是如果要是经常看的话那么我会觉得很气愤。
小小：说起男人爱看A片这件事，我个人是没什么意见，尤其当男人打着一切都是为了取悦女人的旗帜而看A片时，女人又怎么忍心责怪男人？男人爱看A片，其实就像女人爱逛街一样，只是放松心情的一种方式而已，女性朋友真的不必把它当作什么严重的大事，或视为洪水猛兽般防备恐惧。说的过激点的话，我觉得只有喜欢看A片的男人才是正常的男人。受到“刺激”会帮助男人保持热情，也会让男人更加年轻。
完美的玫瑰：从某些角度讲，男人在家看A片总比出去找女人来满足他的性幻想好。但是有些男人却是因为看了A片而出去找了女人，所以真的很矛盾。不过即使女人不高兴，男人们该看还是看，即使他答应你绝对没有下次了，也难保他不会背着你偷偷地看，这样还增加了他的刺激感。很多人说男人如果喜欢看A片，说明这个男人不是生理上有问题，就是对自己不自信，我很不赞同这样的说法。如果很少数人喜欢的话，可能会说明一些问题，但是在现在绝大多数男人都看的情况下这么说未免有些太牵强了。喜欢看说明本身就是一种基本需要，难道连让男人最基本需要的机会都不给吗？
思泪飘：说我思想陈旧也好，不开通也罢，我是绝对接受不了。男人为什么要这么做，难道有自己的老婆还不满足吗？看这样的东西是对老婆的不尊重，试问有哪个女人能够接受的了？和老公结婚这么多年了，我从来没发现他有这个嗜好，而对我也依然有热情。我也要提醒一下女性朋友，如果你老公非常喜欢看的话，那么可能你没满足他，也可能自闭、自卑。
2
不要水的鱼：如果女性也看了A片……
冬灵儿：我可能是女人中少见的喜欢看A片的人，至少我的女友们都不承认她们喜欢看。因为传统，不少女人即使想看爱看，也只能一个劲憋着忍着难受着，至少不敢光明正大的去看，有些女人实在熬不住也只得关紧房门偷偷的看。这又是何苦呢，既然男人能够大大方方地看，作为新时代的女性当然也能够正当地“学习”。
小小：说句实话，因为出于好奇，在大学时和寝室的姐妹一起看过，这又怎么样呢？都什么年代了。看过之后觉得没什么好奇的，不就都是那个样子。经常看的女人更是不容易出轨，因为她可能对别人没有什么好奇感。反之那些从不看A片的女人，婚后长期只与老公一人相守，对外面的男人充满好奇与期待，身不由己的出轨就在所难免，于是家庭开始四分五裂。女人看A片不是堕落下流的表现，不是道德素养的低落，恰恰是身心健康充满活力的最佳注解。
完美的玫瑰：作为新时代女人，起码做到自己什么都明白，先发制人，而不是像一个傻瓜什么都不懂。很多女人都看过，有些甚至是和闺密一起看的。心智成熟的女人看A片没有什么不好，毕竟女人也会有幻想，而对于人类基本的权利“性”生活，谁都会经历，又有什么不好意思呢。
思泪飘：我是没有看过，而据我所知，我身边的女性朋友也没有人喜欢看这个东西。作为女人，你的伴侣只能有一个，为什么还要在视觉上寻求刺激呢？而它本身的发展已经开始恶性循环，有变态、犯罪的倾向，没多大意思，男人都不该看太多，更何况女人？
3
不要水的鱼：老公约你一起看，跑还是应允？
冬灵儿：我曾经看过一个测试，说有风情的女人最容易得男人心，能和老公一起看的女人显然会得到男人更多的热情。并且当老公想和你一起看A片的时候，心灵上并不是肮脏的，那只是一种爱的体现，谁都有权利用某种方式享受这种爱，谁也都有权利用自己的方式去诠释对对方的爱，只要心是纯洁的，爱是真诚的，就无所谓别的了。也许在共同欣赏的过程彼此的爱也会融合在一起，爱也得到了升华。
小小：我可以接受和老公一起看。做为前戏，有助于调情和下一步进行，偶尔小小的放纵，是产生情趣的最佳法宝。况且一起看的人是老公，是最亲近的人。不过我也很怕老公会一边看一边模仿画面的动作，这样我会觉得很不舒服。
完美的玫瑰：不能接受，他自己偶尔看看还可以，如果让他当着我的面去看，那就接受不了了。而且我总是觉得男人想和女人一起看A片，是一种对女性的亵渎，不尊敬。爱当然有自己的方式，但是要是神圣的，绿色的，无须模仿谁，做真实的自己才是最好的。当然爱的过程也会有结合，但那都是真情流露的，并非为肉体一时的快感而爱，爱是圣洁的，不该有污秽的东西玷污它！还有如果男人想要求女人一起看，也要先掂掂自己的分量，万一片中的男人看起来比他自己强，那么在老婆面前还有什么尊严。所以也请想要和老婆一起看的男人们三思啊！
思泪飘：男人们究竟是什么企图，本来我觉得看A片的男人就是对老婆最大的侮辱了，还要求老婆陪他们一起看，简直是天方夜谭。我觉得这样的男人很自私，这样只顾着自己开心的男人不要也罢。
和事老：
现如今我们的生活受到各种方式的冲击，当然也包括夫妻生活，它已经从以前深藏的闺房话题，渐渐转变为不用刻意回避的讨论了。而一些带有“颜色”的东西虽然明令禁止，但是仍然随处可得。A片说到底毕竟是一种商品，它展现出来的，绝对不是正常的两性关系，但看不看A片，这是一个成年人的自由。对于A片，青少年应该是绝对禁看的。对于成人来说，看多了，也会引发问题。A片不等于性的真实，而对于许多人想从A片里学技巧，这更是很悲哀的事实。
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
ZT: Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB)
http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/ghb.html
Gamma hydroxybutyrate: An OverviewHave you heard of GHB? You may not have yet, but its use is increasing. Once limited to large warehouse scenes such as "raves," GHB is showing up at parties, perhaps in neighborhoods like yours. It gives the user a feeling of euphoria, that everything is fine. GHB, like alcohol, is a central nervous system depressant that takes only minutes to make a user lose control, forget what is happening, or lose consciousness. GHB is colorless, odorless, and has a slightly salty taste. The synthetic form of GHB contains some of the same ingredients as floor stripper and industrial cleaners.
The same dose of GHB can have variable effects in different people. A dose that makes one person feel euphoric can make another person sick. The US Drug Enforcement Agency has linked GHB to 58 deaths since 1990 and there have been at least 5,700 overdoses recorded since then. Moreover, there are some reports that GHB can cause dependence. Treatment of GHB overdoses is difficult because it is difficult for emergency room doctors to detect the drug.
Possible symptoms of GHB use:
Dizziness Vomiting Seizures Coma Drowsiness
GHB was first developed as a general anesthetic, but because it did not work very well to prevent pain, its use as an anesthetic declined. The observation that GHB may cause the release of growth hormone led some people, especially athletes and body-builders, to take it because they thought it would increase muscle development. At the time, GHB was available as a dietary supplement and as such was not regulated by the US Food and Drug Administration. In 1990, after numerous reports that GHB caused illness, the FDA began investigating the drug. It is now classified as an illegal substance. Research is being conducted to investigate the use of GHB in the treatment of the sleep disorder called narcolepsy.
GHB has been grouped with other drugs in the "date-rape drug" category such as Rohypnol, because it can be slipped easily into a drink and given to an unsuspecting victim, who often does not remember being assaulted. GHB is especially dangerous when combined with alcohol.
GHB and the Brain Although GHB can be made in the laboratory, it is also produced normally in the brain through the synthesis of a neurotransmitter called GABA. Some of the greatest concentrations of GHB are found in the substantia nigra, thalamus and hypothalamus. When GHB is ingested by a user, it affects several different neurotransmitter systems in the brain:
GHB can increase acetylcholine levels.
GHB can increase serotonin levels.
GHB can reduce dopamine activity, especially in the basal ganglia. This action is probably the result of the inhibition of the release of dopamine from synaptic terminals. Some studies show that GHB first inhibits the release of dopamine, then causes the release of dopamine. The effect on the dopamine system may depend on the dose of GHB.
GHB can activate GHB receptors and GABA receptors on neurons in the brain.
Unfortunate Events Lead to a Tragedy One case of GHB use ended in tragedy. On January 16th, 1999, three girls told their parents they were going to a movie, but instead they ended up at a party at someone's house. Some kids were drinking alcohol and some were smoking marijuana. One of the girls, ninth-grader Samantha, asked for a Mountain Dew. A 19-year old boy got it for her. At one point, she told her friend the soda tasted "gross," but she drank it. A few minutes later she vomited and passed out. She was moved onto the bathroom floor, beside another 14-year-old girl, Melanie, who also passed out after having a drink. Once the boys became concerned that they could not wake the girls, they took them to the hospital. Both girls fell into comas. Melanie recovered, but Samantha never regained consciousness and died in the hospital.
In February 2000 the four males involved (ages 18, 19, and 26) went on trial for the death of Samantha and the poisoning of the other girls, one of whom ingested some GHB but had no symptoms. This was the first trial of a GHB-related death. The younger males were found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and lesser charges of poisoning. The 26-year-old was convicted of being an accessory to manslaughter, poisoning, and possession of marijuana and GHB. The jail time for the manslaughter convictions is up to 15 years; the jail time for the poisoning convictions can be up to 5 years.
Law EnactedOn February 18, 2000, President Clinton signed federal legislation (H.R. 2130) making the possession of GHB illegal. It was a controlled substance, a so-called Schedule 1 drug, just like heroin. However, in July 2002, a form of GHB was designated as a Schedule III Controlled Substance. A Schedule III substance can be used for medical purposes, but it cannot be sold, distributed, or provided to anyone other than for its prescribed use. The Controlled Substances Act ranks drugs from 1 to 5 based on how harmful they are; a ranking of 1 means that the drug has a high potential for abuse. The new scheduling of GHB was made in response to new research showing that GHB may help treat some symptoms of narcolepsy.
References and more information about GHB:
Lawmakers push control of GHB. March 16, 1999.
Project GHB
Tunnicliff, G. Sites of action of gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB) - A neuroactive drug with abuse potential, J. Toxicol. Clin. Toxicol. 35:581-590, 1997.
Gamma hydroxybutyrate: An OverviewHave you heard of GHB? You may not have yet, but its use is increasing. Once limited to large warehouse scenes such as "raves," GHB is showing up at parties, perhaps in neighborhoods like yours. It gives the user a feeling of euphoria, that everything is fine. GHB, like alcohol, is a central nervous system depressant that takes only minutes to make a user lose control, forget what is happening, or lose consciousness. GHB is colorless, odorless, and has a slightly salty taste. The synthetic form of GHB contains some of the same ingredients as floor stripper and industrial cleaners.
The same dose of GHB can have variable effects in different people. A dose that makes one person feel euphoric can make another person sick. The US Drug Enforcement Agency has linked GHB to 58 deaths since 1990 and there have been at least 5,700 overdoses recorded since then. Moreover, there are some reports that GHB can cause dependence. Treatment of GHB overdoses is difficult because it is difficult for emergency room doctors to detect the drug.
Possible symptoms of GHB use:
Dizziness Vomiting Seizures Coma Drowsiness
GHB was first developed as a general anesthetic, but because it did not work very well to prevent pain, its use as an anesthetic declined. The observation that GHB may cause the release of growth hormone led some people, especially athletes and body-builders, to take it because they thought it would increase muscle development. At the time, GHB was available as a dietary supplement and as such was not regulated by the US Food and Drug Administration. In 1990, after numerous reports that GHB caused illness, the FDA began investigating the drug. It is now classified as an illegal substance. Research is being conducted to investigate the use of GHB in the treatment of the sleep disorder called narcolepsy.
GHB has been grouped with other drugs in the "date-rape drug" category such as Rohypnol, because it can be slipped easily into a drink and given to an unsuspecting victim, who often does not remember being assaulted. GHB is especially dangerous when combined with alcohol.
GHB and the Brain Although GHB can be made in the laboratory, it is also produced normally in the brain through the synthesis of a neurotransmitter called GABA. Some of the greatest concentrations of GHB are found in the substantia nigra, thalamus and hypothalamus. When GHB is ingested by a user, it affects several different neurotransmitter systems in the brain:
GHB can increase acetylcholine levels.
GHB can increase serotonin levels.
GHB can reduce dopamine activity, especially in the basal ganglia. This action is probably the result of the inhibition of the release of dopamine from synaptic terminals. Some studies show that GHB first inhibits the release of dopamine, then causes the release of dopamine. The effect on the dopamine system may depend on the dose of GHB.
GHB can activate GHB receptors and GABA receptors on neurons in the brain.
Unfortunate Events Lead to a Tragedy One case of GHB use ended in tragedy. On January 16th, 1999, three girls told their parents they were going to a movie, but instead they ended up at a party at someone's house. Some kids were drinking alcohol and some were smoking marijuana. One of the girls, ninth-grader Samantha, asked for a Mountain Dew. A 19-year old boy got it for her. At one point, she told her friend the soda tasted "gross," but she drank it. A few minutes later she vomited and passed out. She was moved onto the bathroom floor, beside another 14-year-old girl, Melanie, who also passed out after having a drink. Once the boys became concerned that they could not wake the girls, they took them to the hospital. Both girls fell into comas. Melanie recovered, but Samantha never regained consciousness and died in the hospital.
In February 2000 the four males involved (ages 18, 19, and 26) went on trial for the death of Samantha and the poisoning of the other girls, one of whom ingested some GHB but had no symptoms. This was the first trial of a GHB-related death. The younger males were found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and lesser charges of poisoning. The 26-year-old was convicted of being an accessory to manslaughter, poisoning, and possession of marijuana and GHB. The jail time for the manslaughter convictions is up to 15 years; the jail time for the poisoning convictions can be up to 5 years.
Law EnactedOn February 18, 2000, President Clinton signed federal legislation (H.R. 2130) making the possession of GHB illegal. It was a controlled substance, a so-called Schedule 1 drug, just like heroin. However, in July 2002, a form of GHB was designated as a Schedule III Controlled Substance. A Schedule III substance can be used for medical purposes, but it cannot be sold, distributed, or provided to anyone other than for its prescribed use. The Controlled Substances Act ranks drugs from 1 to 5 based on how harmful they are; a ranking of 1 means that the drug has a high potential for abuse. The new scheduling of GHB was made in response to new research showing that GHB may help treat some symptoms of narcolepsy.
References and more information about GHB:
Lawmakers push control of GHB. March 16, 1999.
Project GHB
Tunnicliff, G. Sites of action of gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB) - A neuroactive drug with abuse potential, J. Toxicol. Clin. Toxicol. 35:581-590, 1997.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
ZT: 牙仙女的故事教我做好妈妈
http://blog.creaders.net/jackiewu/user_blog_diary.php?did=10339
2007-09-11 10:03:03
大女儿开始换牙了。我赶紧找来牙仙女的故事，以缓解这种新的经历给她带来的紧张和不适。其中有一本是“牙仙女的第一晚”，给我很大启示。故事如下。
瑟丽七岁生日的晚上，她的妈妈给了她牙仙女的包包。妈妈说，“今天晚上你拿到第一颗牙，就成为正式的牙仙女了。”
妈妈告诉她，“一个好的牙仙女一定可以拿到她的牙齿”。
外婆告诉她，“一个好的牙仙女总是很有耐心”。
曾外婆告诉她，“一个好的牙仙女不会弄醒睡着的小孩”。
牙仙女瑟丽的第一晚很不顺利，因为她遇到的是一个机灵的小姑娘，这个小姑娘要考一考牙仙女，所以她没有把自己的牙防在枕头下面，而是放在一个巧妙的地方，然后给牙仙女一些线索让她去寻找。可怜的瑟丽差点哭起来，而实际上她的眼泪已经掉下来了，这时她想起妈妈的话，“一个好的牙仙女一定可以拿到她的牙齿，我是一个好的牙仙女，我一定可以拿到牙齿”。在“自己是一个好的牙仙女”这种信念的鼓舞下，新任牙仙女瑟丽突破重重困难，终于成功地拿到了第一个颗牙齿。
我在读这个故事的时候，不由得佩服牙仙女的三位长辈，她们从小给牙仙女灌输一种信念，就是她是一个好的牙仙女，同时告诉她一个好的牙仙女是怎样的，这样小女孩就会自觉地用这种标准来要求自己，自然而然就达到了要求。我们在教育孩子的时候是不是也可以这样做。比如可以从小就对孩子灌输她是一个好孩子的信念。同时设立一些好孩子的标准，例如乐观，坚持，勤劳，勇敢，关心别人，合作，宽容等等，这样孩子就会逐渐按照成为你所希望的样子。
2007-09-11 10:03:03
大女儿开始换牙了。我赶紧找来牙仙女的故事，以缓解这种新的经历给她带来的紧张和不适。其中有一本是“牙仙女的第一晚”，给我很大启示。故事如下。
瑟丽七岁生日的晚上，她的妈妈给了她牙仙女的包包。妈妈说，“今天晚上你拿到第一颗牙，就成为正式的牙仙女了。”
妈妈告诉她，“一个好的牙仙女一定可以拿到她的牙齿”。
外婆告诉她，“一个好的牙仙女总是很有耐心”。
曾外婆告诉她，“一个好的牙仙女不会弄醒睡着的小孩”。
牙仙女瑟丽的第一晚很不顺利，因为她遇到的是一个机灵的小姑娘，这个小姑娘要考一考牙仙女，所以她没有把自己的牙防在枕头下面，而是放在一个巧妙的地方，然后给牙仙女一些线索让她去寻找。可怜的瑟丽差点哭起来，而实际上她的眼泪已经掉下来了，这时她想起妈妈的话，“一个好的牙仙女一定可以拿到她的牙齿，我是一个好的牙仙女，我一定可以拿到牙齿”。在“自己是一个好的牙仙女”这种信念的鼓舞下，新任牙仙女瑟丽突破重重困难，终于成功地拿到了第一个颗牙齿。
我在读这个故事的时候，不由得佩服牙仙女的三位长辈，她们从小给牙仙女灌输一种信念，就是她是一个好的牙仙女，同时告诉她一个好的牙仙女是怎样的，这样小女孩就会自觉地用这种标准来要求自己，自然而然就达到了要求。我们在教育孩子的时候是不是也可以这样做。比如可以从小就对孩子灌输她是一个好孩子的信念。同时设立一些好孩子的标准，例如乐观，坚持，勤劳，勇敢，关心别人，合作，宽容等等，这样孩子就会逐渐按照成为你所希望的样子。
让你轻松遨游职场的十句话(ZT)
http://blog.creaders.net/jackiewu/user_blog_diary.php?did=7620
2007-06-12 18:22:34
应答上司交代的工作：我立即去办。 冷静、迅速地做出这样的回应，会让上司直观地感觉你是一个工作讲效率、处理问题果断，并且服从领导的好下属。如果你犹豫不决，只会让上司不快，会给上司留下优柔寡断的印象，下次重要的机会可能就轮不到你了。
2、传递坏消息时：我们似乎碰到一些情况……
一笔业务出现麻烦，或市场出现危机，如果你立刻冲到上司的办公室报告这个坏消息，就算不关你的事，也会让上司怀疑你对待危机的能力，弄不好还会惹得上司的责骂，成为出气筒。 正确的方式是你可以从容不迫地说：我们似乎碰到一些情况……千万不要乱了阵脚，要让上司觉得事情并没有到不可收拾的地步，并且感到你会与他并肩作战，解决问题。 3、体现团队精神：XX的主意真不错！ 小马的创意或设计得到了上司的欣赏，虽然你心里为自己不成功的设计而难过，甚至有些妒忌，你还是要在上司的听力范围内夸夸小马：小马的主意真不错。在明争暗斗的职场，善于欣赏别人，会让上司认为你本性善良，并富有团队精神，从而给你更多的信任。
4、如果你不知道某件事：让我再认真地想一想，2点前答复您好吗？ 上司问了你某个与业务有关的问题，你不知道如何作答，千万不要说“不知道”。而“让我再认真地想一想，2点前答复您好吗？”不仅暂时让你解围，也让上司认为你不轻率行事，而是个三思而后行的人。当然，要记得按时给出答复。
5、请同事帮忙：这个策划没有你真不行啊！ 有个策划，你一个人搞不定，得找个比较内行的人帮忙，怎么开口呢？你可以诚恳地说：这个策划没有你真不行啊！同事为了不负自己内行的形象，通常是不会拒绝的。当然，事后要记得感谢人家。
6、拒绝黄段子：这种话好像不适合在办公室讲哦！ 男人有时总喜欢说些黄段子，并且不大注意场合。如果有男同事对你开“黄腔”，让你无法忍受，这句话可以让他们识趣地闭嘴。
7、减轻工作量：我知道这件事很重要，我们不妨先排一排手头的工作，按重要性排出先后顺序。 首先，强调你了解这项工作的重要性，然后请求上司指示，将这项工作与其它工作一起排出先后顺序，不露痕迹地让上司知道你的工作量其实很大，如果不是非你不可，有些事就可交给其他人或延期处理。
8、承认过失：是我一时疏忽，不过幸好…… 犯错误在所难免，所以勇于承认自己的过失很重要，推卸责任只会使你错上加错。不过，承认过失也有诀窍，就是不要让所有的错误都自己扛，这句话可以转移别人的注意力，淡化你的过失。
9、打破冷场的话题：我很想知道您对这件事的看法…… 当你与上司相处时，有时不得不找点话题，以打破冷场。不过，这正是你赢得上司青睐的好机会，最恰当的话题就是谈一些与公司有关、上司很关心又熟悉的话题。当上司滔滔不绝地发表看法时，也会对你这样一个谦虚的听众欣赏有加。
10、面对批评：谢谢你告诉我，我会仔细考虑你的建议的。 面对批评或责难，不管自己有没有不当之处，都不要将不满写在脸上，但要让对方知道，你已接受到他的信息，不卑不亢让你看起来又自信又稳重，更值得敬重。(来源:中国人力资源网)
2007-06-12 18:22:34
应答上司交代的工作：我立即去办。 冷静、迅速地做出这样的回应，会让上司直观地感觉你是一个工作讲效率、处理问题果断，并且服从领导的好下属。如果你犹豫不决，只会让上司不快，会给上司留下优柔寡断的印象，下次重要的机会可能就轮不到你了。
2、传递坏消息时：我们似乎碰到一些情况……
一笔业务出现麻烦，或市场出现危机，如果你立刻冲到上司的办公室报告这个坏消息，就算不关你的事，也会让上司怀疑你对待危机的能力，弄不好还会惹得上司的责骂，成为出气筒。 正确的方式是你可以从容不迫地说：我们似乎碰到一些情况……千万不要乱了阵脚，要让上司觉得事情并没有到不可收拾的地步，并且感到你会与他并肩作战，解决问题。 3、体现团队精神：XX的主意真不错！ 小马的创意或设计得到了上司的欣赏，虽然你心里为自己不成功的设计而难过，甚至有些妒忌，你还是要在上司的听力范围内夸夸小马：小马的主意真不错。在明争暗斗的职场，善于欣赏别人，会让上司认为你本性善良，并富有团队精神，从而给你更多的信任。
4、如果你不知道某件事：让我再认真地想一想，2点前答复您好吗？ 上司问了你某个与业务有关的问题，你不知道如何作答，千万不要说“不知道”。而“让我再认真地想一想，2点前答复您好吗？”不仅暂时让你解围，也让上司认为你不轻率行事，而是个三思而后行的人。当然，要记得按时给出答复。
5、请同事帮忙：这个策划没有你真不行啊！ 有个策划，你一个人搞不定，得找个比较内行的人帮忙，怎么开口呢？你可以诚恳地说：这个策划没有你真不行啊！同事为了不负自己内行的形象，通常是不会拒绝的。当然，事后要记得感谢人家。
6、拒绝黄段子：这种话好像不适合在办公室讲哦！ 男人有时总喜欢说些黄段子，并且不大注意场合。如果有男同事对你开“黄腔”，让你无法忍受，这句话可以让他们识趣地闭嘴。
7、减轻工作量：我知道这件事很重要，我们不妨先排一排手头的工作，按重要性排出先后顺序。 首先，强调你了解这项工作的重要性，然后请求上司指示，将这项工作与其它工作一起排出先后顺序，不露痕迹地让上司知道你的工作量其实很大，如果不是非你不可，有些事就可交给其他人或延期处理。
8、承认过失：是我一时疏忽，不过幸好…… 犯错误在所难免，所以勇于承认自己的过失很重要，推卸责任只会使你错上加错。不过，承认过失也有诀窍，就是不要让所有的错误都自己扛，这句话可以转移别人的注意力，淡化你的过失。
9、打破冷场的话题：我很想知道您对这件事的看法…… 当你与上司相处时，有时不得不找点话题，以打破冷场。不过，这正是你赢得上司青睐的好机会，最恰当的话题就是谈一些与公司有关、上司很关心又熟悉的话题。当上司滔滔不绝地发表看法时，也会对你这样一个谦虚的听众欣赏有加。
10、面对批评：谢谢你告诉我，我会仔细考虑你的建议的。 面对批评或责难，不管自己有没有不当之处，都不要将不满写在脸上，但要让对方知道，你已接受到他的信息，不卑不亢让你看起来又自信又稳重，更值得敬重。(来源:中国人力资源网)
Friday, November 2, 2007
ZT: 为张爱玲辩护《色。戒》
http://blog.creaders.net//jianyi2/user_blog_diary.php?did=12301
我是张迷，最近有空上网，却发现倒处是痛诉张爱玲之声，忍不住，还要为她辩解几句，因为她死了，听不见，我还在，所谓前赴后继，就是这个意思吧。
张爱玲的作品，写来写去，都脱不了一个情字。就是女人和男人的不了情。也是所有男女众生的不了情。她写的无非是情悦人，恨人，毁人，和伴随而来的种种复杂的男女心态和生活情趣的变化。
很多人不喜欢张爱玲小说中的人物或者是结局，觉得那样太残酷，太不可思议，但那恰恰是张爱玲的精彩之处，她反映了爱情在特定的环境下和世俗，社会偏见，甚直于和当事人自我的冲突， 从而表现了男女之情的诱惑力，复杂性和毁灭性。
《色，戒》其实是张爱玲小说中很不起眼的一篇。李安用来做电影，那是李安的事。他加了多少油和醋来撩拨人们的视野和情趣或者他想用这部电影来表现什么样的主题，那不是张爱玲的错。不过我以为，这篇小说的主题和反战，热爱汉奸没有什么联系，那都不是张爱玲的原意。色，戒，这两个字，就包括了张爱玲的态度，她实在是说，向往和陷入爱情的女人们，小心，易先生这样的男人太危险，这样的爱情要引以为戒或彻底戒除。归根结底，张只是表现了一个物质女性在爱情和理智上的冲突，揭示了女人陷入爱情后的弱点。而张设计的情节是在男人为女人购买一个昂贵钻戒时女人的心软变卦。反过来，也让人看到了作为一个特务和汉奸的男人的危险和奸诈。让人为佳之感到不值和惋惜。佳之不过是个跑单帮的女掮客，她并不是地下党，她只是作为地下党的眼线来引出易先生便以地下党刺杀他。而且地下党也用了机票这样的好处来引诱佳之， 这都为佳之后来的变卦打下了伏笔。最后当易先生重金买下火油粉红钻戒来讨她的喜欢时，她心里“轰然若失”， 他还是喜欢她的。戒指对佳之是个非常大的诱惑，这是物质的诱惑，但又超越了物质而引发了她对男人的怜惜，而她也以为男人很爱她。所以，她更不愿看到那个男人的死。她假设男人不死，她还可以继续他们的爱，但是她错了，这就是一个女人的天真和妄想， 这就是佳之或者所有女人应以为戒的地方。张爱玲的胡兰成是易先生一样的男人，红妆小说里让苏雨枚要死要活的男人也是这种类型的男人，他们是女人的杀手，也是真正心狠手辣的政治杀手。易先生不愧有特务的精明和冷酷，他逃了一命，没有感激，却是更加疯狂的报复，反过来干掉了佳之和其他的六个青年。这种男人，是所有女人需要戒除的。但不幸的是，所有的女人，都会请不自禁地爱上这种男人，那怕他是个坏蛋，汉奸。这和歌颂汉奸完全是两回事，我觉得，张爱玲冷冷的描述，更多的倒是鞭笞这种男人的冷酷和女人那种忘乎所以的爱情。要提留乳房这样的描写，其实也是有讽刺意义的，是讽刺这类男人的健忘和女人在爱情中的犯贱。再说易先生遗憾佳之死了，但那样，她便永运的属于了他。真正生是他的人，死是他的鬼了。这也是具有讽刺意义的一笔勾勒，活脱脱地表现了易先生的冷酷和专制。无毒不丈夫，这就是这种男人的共性和生存逻辑。
张爱玲很含蓄地描写了佳之和易先生在性上的愉悦，而李安肯定是扩大和渲染了这点，而且还用了变态的性。这是我觉得很不安的地方。我认为，易先生有很多恐怖和胆战心惊的时候，因为他知道有人会杀他。他没有安全感。但他在一个方面是恰恰是很正常很有安全感 而且很有常识的。那就是对待女人和性。他很懂得女人，也懂得如何讨女人的欢心。他没有一开始就给佳之买戒指，因为那会让佳之看起来她是个卖身的，而是当他们交往了一段时间以后才给她买。这就是很正常的一个男人对自己喜欢的女人的态度。另一方面，也可以看到，佳之很享受和易先生在一起的时光。李安用变态的性爱来表现这一点是非常错的。佳之是个正常的女人，喜欢物质珠宝，所以她跑单帮，做掮客，赚外快来满足作为女人的虚荣心，只有正常的性爱才能让她感到易先生的爱。凡是婚外的男女挚爱，必有一方是被另一方很强烈吸引的，这种吸引不外乎是女人的美貌和身体对男人极度的诱惑，或反而为之。如果女人和男人在一起很能享受性爱的话，这就给了男人一个正反馈的刺激，让这种感情更加激烈和深化。而这就是佳之和易先生在一起的情况。易先生一定是被佳之的美貌撩拨得心痒难熬，他是冒着生命危险，百加防范地去和佳之幽会的。所以见到佳之后，他会有很强烈的表达欲和征服欲，而这样的欲望只有通过男性的力度和炙烈的性爱来实现，但不会是变态的爱，而这的确可以感染和打动一个需要爱的女人，而佳之正是这样一个女人.
一种感情，越是强烈，那种征服力和摧毁力就越强，也越危险，这就是色戒，或者是说，戒色。这才是张爱玲这篇短短的小说所要体现的。
张爱玲各种小说的故事情节，在今天看来已没有多大的离奇和曲折性，这不足以为议，那毕竟是表现主流社会现实主义的C大调，没有多少浪漫主义的缱绻，也没有多少轰轰烈烈的人生，有的是平常男女的私心，计较，理智，感情和情欲的纠葛， 那是最普通不过的芸芸众生在金钱或感情上势均力敌的较量。强势和弱势总是在开始时明明暗暗，到结局时才决出胜负，总是有一方的牺牲换取了另一方的平衡。 而这就是张爱玲眼里婚姻和生活的真谛。这难道不是今天的我们吗？
毛的时代不需要张爱玲，因为，人类最基本的爱和人情都被禁锢和消灭了，除了大公无私，我们不知道人类还有多少复杂的人性和情感，这，恰恰是我们语言贫乏，感情粗陋，面部表情呆板的原因。
今天的时代，是张爱玲的时代，心机暗藏的白流苏们， 擅于风情的红玫瑰们，精于守财的曹七巧们，为了爱而堕落的交际花薇龙们，在社会底层做女仆的小艾们，还有不甘命运的赛姆生太太们，每一个跃跃欲试的女人，都会有繁复而多味的人生。它可以是好，可以是悔，可以是错，也可以是相对完美的结局或者是猩猩相惜的一点真心， 这样的人生，看着，过着，想着，纠缠着，放肆着，享受着，无论如何，都是一个活法，苦中作乐，乐中生悲，这，就是张爱玲的深刻。
我是张迷，最近有空上网，却发现倒处是痛诉张爱玲之声，忍不住，还要为她辩解几句，因为她死了，听不见，我还在，所谓前赴后继，就是这个意思吧。
张爱玲的作品，写来写去，都脱不了一个情字。就是女人和男人的不了情。也是所有男女众生的不了情。她写的无非是情悦人，恨人，毁人，和伴随而来的种种复杂的男女心态和生活情趣的变化。
很多人不喜欢张爱玲小说中的人物或者是结局，觉得那样太残酷，太不可思议，但那恰恰是张爱玲的精彩之处，她反映了爱情在特定的环境下和世俗，社会偏见，甚直于和当事人自我的冲突， 从而表现了男女之情的诱惑力，复杂性和毁灭性。
《色，戒》其实是张爱玲小说中很不起眼的一篇。李安用来做电影，那是李安的事。他加了多少油和醋来撩拨人们的视野和情趣或者他想用这部电影来表现什么样的主题，那不是张爱玲的错。不过我以为，这篇小说的主题和反战，热爱汉奸没有什么联系，那都不是张爱玲的原意。色，戒，这两个字，就包括了张爱玲的态度，她实在是说，向往和陷入爱情的女人们，小心，易先生这样的男人太危险，这样的爱情要引以为戒或彻底戒除。归根结底，张只是表现了一个物质女性在爱情和理智上的冲突，揭示了女人陷入爱情后的弱点。而张设计的情节是在男人为女人购买一个昂贵钻戒时女人的心软变卦。反过来，也让人看到了作为一个特务和汉奸的男人的危险和奸诈。让人为佳之感到不值和惋惜。佳之不过是个跑单帮的女掮客，她并不是地下党，她只是作为地下党的眼线来引出易先生便以地下党刺杀他。而且地下党也用了机票这样的好处来引诱佳之， 这都为佳之后来的变卦打下了伏笔。最后当易先生重金买下火油粉红钻戒来讨她的喜欢时，她心里“轰然若失”， 他还是喜欢她的。戒指对佳之是个非常大的诱惑，这是物质的诱惑，但又超越了物质而引发了她对男人的怜惜，而她也以为男人很爱她。所以，她更不愿看到那个男人的死。她假设男人不死，她还可以继续他们的爱，但是她错了，这就是一个女人的天真和妄想， 这就是佳之或者所有女人应以为戒的地方。张爱玲的胡兰成是易先生一样的男人，红妆小说里让苏雨枚要死要活的男人也是这种类型的男人，他们是女人的杀手，也是真正心狠手辣的政治杀手。易先生不愧有特务的精明和冷酷，他逃了一命，没有感激，却是更加疯狂的报复，反过来干掉了佳之和其他的六个青年。这种男人，是所有女人需要戒除的。但不幸的是，所有的女人，都会请不自禁地爱上这种男人，那怕他是个坏蛋，汉奸。这和歌颂汉奸完全是两回事，我觉得，张爱玲冷冷的描述，更多的倒是鞭笞这种男人的冷酷和女人那种忘乎所以的爱情。要提留乳房这样的描写，其实也是有讽刺意义的，是讽刺这类男人的健忘和女人在爱情中的犯贱。再说易先生遗憾佳之死了，但那样，她便永运的属于了他。真正生是他的人，死是他的鬼了。这也是具有讽刺意义的一笔勾勒，活脱脱地表现了易先生的冷酷和专制。无毒不丈夫，这就是这种男人的共性和生存逻辑。
张爱玲很含蓄地描写了佳之和易先生在性上的愉悦，而李安肯定是扩大和渲染了这点，而且还用了变态的性。这是我觉得很不安的地方。我认为，易先生有很多恐怖和胆战心惊的时候，因为他知道有人会杀他。他没有安全感。但他在一个方面是恰恰是很正常很有安全感 而且很有常识的。那就是对待女人和性。他很懂得女人，也懂得如何讨女人的欢心。他没有一开始就给佳之买戒指，因为那会让佳之看起来她是个卖身的，而是当他们交往了一段时间以后才给她买。这就是很正常的一个男人对自己喜欢的女人的态度。另一方面，也可以看到，佳之很享受和易先生在一起的时光。李安用变态的性爱来表现这一点是非常错的。佳之是个正常的女人，喜欢物质珠宝，所以她跑单帮，做掮客，赚外快来满足作为女人的虚荣心，只有正常的性爱才能让她感到易先生的爱。凡是婚外的男女挚爱，必有一方是被另一方很强烈吸引的，这种吸引不外乎是女人的美貌和身体对男人极度的诱惑，或反而为之。如果女人和男人在一起很能享受性爱的话，这就给了男人一个正反馈的刺激，让这种感情更加激烈和深化。而这就是佳之和易先生在一起的情况。易先生一定是被佳之的美貌撩拨得心痒难熬，他是冒着生命危险，百加防范地去和佳之幽会的。所以见到佳之后，他会有很强烈的表达欲和征服欲，而这样的欲望只有通过男性的力度和炙烈的性爱来实现，但不会是变态的爱，而这的确可以感染和打动一个需要爱的女人，而佳之正是这样一个女人.
一种感情，越是强烈，那种征服力和摧毁力就越强，也越危险，这就是色戒，或者是说，戒色。这才是张爱玲这篇短短的小说所要体现的。
张爱玲各种小说的故事情节，在今天看来已没有多大的离奇和曲折性，这不足以为议，那毕竟是表现主流社会现实主义的C大调，没有多少浪漫主义的缱绻，也没有多少轰轰烈烈的人生，有的是平常男女的私心，计较，理智，感情和情欲的纠葛， 那是最普通不过的芸芸众生在金钱或感情上势均力敌的较量。强势和弱势总是在开始时明明暗暗，到结局时才决出胜负，总是有一方的牺牲换取了另一方的平衡。 而这就是张爱玲眼里婚姻和生活的真谛。这难道不是今天的我们吗？
毛的时代不需要张爱玲，因为，人类最基本的爱和人情都被禁锢和消灭了，除了大公无私，我们不知道人类还有多少复杂的人性和情感，这，恰恰是我们语言贫乏，感情粗陋，面部表情呆板的原因。
今天的时代，是张爱玲的时代，心机暗藏的白流苏们， 擅于风情的红玫瑰们，精于守财的曹七巧们，为了爱而堕落的交际花薇龙们，在社会底层做女仆的小艾们，还有不甘命运的赛姆生太太们，每一个跃跃欲试的女人，都会有繁复而多味的人生。它可以是好，可以是悔，可以是错，也可以是相对完美的结局或者是猩猩相惜的一点真心， 这样的人生，看着，过着，想着，纠缠着，放肆着，享受着，无论如何，都是一个活法，苦中作乐，乐中生悲，这，就是张爱玲的深刻。
ZT: 老色狼对小色狼的忠告
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?atid=277702&id=282347
1、当她要你请她吃饭的时候，你不妨长时间注视她，如果她表现出来的不是乖巧和温情，那你就别破费。
2、你在决定追一个女人的时候，先想想自己能不能在她面前保持本色，否则别去委屈自己。
3、一等色狼爱才女，二等色狼爱淑女，三等色狼爱美女，四等色狼爱妓女。
4、与她上街许多次，她一直阻止你为她花钱并不时问你饿不饿渴不渴累不累，并且你由衷感动的话，则你应该考虑娶她。
5、女人的自尊心比超薄丝袜还脆弱。很多时候你太在乎她的自尊，她就可能不在乎你的自尊，她要变成慈禧的话，你别当李莲英。
6、爱撒谎的美女不是女人是精液容器，别太在意。
7、色狼的最高境界是专一，滥情是菜鸟无能的表现。
8、与其手捧玫瑰西装革履站在楼下等她，不如让她到看你在运动场上，篮球架下如何生龙活虎。
9、多吻她的额头和手背，吻她不敏感的地方，比吻她敏感的地方更能让她有感觉。
10、爱情比荒原还残酷。爱情的快乐有多大，伤口就有多大，但你既想追她就不要怕痛，否则自个手*去好了。
11、色狼完全没理由为自己是狼而忘形，记住女人是老虎，老虎比狼厉害。
12、别吃她吃剩的饭菜，别谈她谈厌的话题。
13、兜里揣一百全为她花光的效果，比揣一万为她花一千的效果强好几倍。
14、女人的承诺与豪言壮语常不及男人一半可靠。
15、她面对孕妇与儿童时的表现常证明她对你的感情深到什么程度。
16、男人去酒吧歌厅找刺激，跟狗翻垃圾堆找食吃一样，要想做条真正的色狼，就别去泡吧K歌。
17、虽说装嫩的女人是白骨精，但你也别当孙悟空。
19、女人用两个极端方式管你索要宽厚与温情：小鸟依人、歇斯底里。
20、对温柔聪明的女人而言，一束百荷比999朵玫瑰更有说服力。
21、适时讲些黄色笑话，经常从背后抱住她轻吻。
22、女人经常迟到十分钟以上或不来，并说一些你将信将疑的理由，那你不妨考虑和她分手。 23、如果女人看你的时候眼睛从来没有亮晶晶过，那绝对是你的失败。
24、游刃有余地在多个男人之间周旋的女人可操不可信。
25、惩治超级自恋不可理喻的女人最好的方式，是直截了地指出她的缺点，别在乎她的咆哮与掉头离去。
26、在你无法识破女人是否假装高潮之前，你还是别自诩成熟。
27、别对女人期望太高，没有极品好女人，但有极品坏女人。
28、女人时时对你任性，挑剔，冷淡，拒绝却还口口声声说爱你的时候，她只不过是在压榨你利用你。
29、尽量欣赏一丝不挂的她，而不是用情趣内衣装潢起来的她。
30、晚上揣把刀走路去接她，比开奔驰宝马去接她更能让她感动。
31、对女人要多用心去感觉，少用**思考。
32、不会凶狠的色狼必不会温柔。
33、色狼就是色狼，不应该披上羊皮，别去刻意表现绅士风度，营造什么浪漫——那样你只能追到不懂事的黄毛丫头。解除外挂原生态一些反而更有魅力
1、当她要你请她吃饭的时候，你不妨长时间注视她，如果她表现出来的不是乖巧和温情，那你就别破费。
2、你在决定追一个女人的时候，先想想自己能不能在她面前保持本色，否则别去委屈自己。
3、一等色狼爱才女，二等色狼爱淑女，三等色狼爱美女，四等色狼爱妓女。
4、与她上街许多次，她一直阻止你为她花钱并不时问你饿不饿渴不渴累不累，并且你由衷感动的话，则你应该考虑娶她。
5、女人的自尊心比超薄丝袜还脆弱。很多时候你太在乎她的自尊，她就可能不在乎你的自尊，她要变成慈禧的话，你别当李莲英。
6、爱撒谎的美女不是女人是精液容器，别太在意。
7、色狼的最高境界是专一，滥情是菜鸟无能的表现。
8、与其手捧玫瑰西装革履站在楼下等她，不如让她到看你在运动场上，篮球架下如何生龙活虎。
9、多吻她的额头和手背，吻她不敏感的地方，比吻她敏感的地方更能让她有感觉。
10、爱情比荒原还残酷。爱情的快乐有多大，伤口就有多大，但你既想追她就不要怕痛，否则自个手*去好了。
11、色狼完全没理由为自己是狼而忘形，记住女人是老虎，老虎比狼厉害。
12、别吃她吃剩的饭菜，别谈她谈厌的话题。
13、兜里揣一百全为她花光的效果，比揣一万为她花一千的效果强好几倍。
14、女人的承诺与豪言壮语常不及男人一半可靠。
15、她面对孕妇与儿童时的表现常证明她对你的感情深到什么程度。
16、男人去酒吧歌厅找刺激，跟狗翻垃圾堆找食吃一样，要想做条真正的色狼，就别去泡吧K歌。
17、虽说装嫩的女人是白骨精，但你也别当孙悟空。
19、女人用两个极端方式管你索要宽厚与温情：小鸟依人、歇斯底里。
20、对温柔聪明的女人而言，一束百荷比999朵玫瑰更有说服力。
21、适时讲些黄色笑话，经常从背后抱住她轻吻。
22、女人经常迟到十分钟以上或不来，并说一些你将信将疑的理由，那你不妨考虑和她分手。 23、如果女人看你的时候眼睛从来没有亮晶晶过，那绝对是你的失败。
24、游刃有余地在多个男人之间周旋的女人可操不可信。
25、惩治超级自恋不可理喻的女人最好的方式，是直截了地指出她的缺点，别在乎她的咆哮与掉头离去。
26、在你无法识破女人是否假装高潮之前，你还是别自诩成熟。
27、别对女人期望太高，没有极品好女人，但有极品坏女人。
28、女人时时对你任性，挑剔，冷淡，拒绝却还口口声声说爱你的时候，她只不过是在压榨你利用你。
29、尽量欣赏一丝不挂的她，而不是用情趣内衣装潢起来的她。
30、晚上揣把刀走路去接她，比开奔驰宝马去接她更能让她感动。
31、对女人要多用心去感觉，少用**思考。
32、不会凶狠的色狼必不会温柔。
33、色狼就是色狼，不应该披上羊皮，别去刻意表现绅士风度，营造什么浪漫——那样你只能追到不懂事的黄毛丫头。解除外挂原生态一些反而更有魅力
Monday, October 29, 2007
真胡适：其美国女友终生未嫁
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?atid=277677&id=282311
最近几年，耿云志编的《胡适研究丛刊》，李又宁编的《胡适和他的朋友》丛书，都对胡适研究有非常重要的推动；还有一本江勇振的《星星、月亮、太阳——胡适的情感世界》，很有意思，可以说第一次清理了胡适的情感世界，写得很精准。他花了10年以上的时间，去看那些耿先生没公布的一千多封英文书信。胡适很多女朋友都是洋人，所以他很多情书都是英文写的。
人物周刊：看这些材料也得有些解密的技巧吧？
黄克武：要了解胡适的真相，首先必须打破他精心刻画的模本——一是他的《四十自述》，二是他晚年和唐德刚合著的《胡适口述自传》。这两个是胡适最重要的模板，奠定了他启蒙者的形象，也就是大家心目中光鲜亮丽的“我的朋友胡适之”。
不过胡适的个性很有意思，他很想跟后代历史学家玩玩智力游戏，有些精彩的部分他也不完全抹杀和掩盖，往往用些缩写简称或隐语来表达，所以读胡适日记就得有高度技巧，读得最好的是余英时。余先生早年研究过陈寅恪的诗，对用典、隐语的传统方式非常熟悉，所以读完400万字日记后，写了一本书(注：《重寻胡适历程》)，考证出胡适的一个女朋友，是隐藏在日记很隐秘的角落里的。
他一生冲昏头脑的时刻多得不得了
人物周刊：韦莲司女士在对待与胡适先生这段情义上，表现出东方式的妇德，是不是也受了胡适先生的影响？
黄克武：韦莲司一生都在保护胡适的清誉，是为他牺牲的女性中的一个。他们认识的时候胡适已经订了亲，当时他们确实是发乎情止乎礼，但精神层面上的交汇碰撞非常强烈，所以韦莲司说“在灵魂上已经结婚”。后来胡适回国遵母命与江冬秀完婚。直到他再去美国，1920-1930年间，两人才有肌肤之亲。但有了身体上的接触之后，两人精神上的沟通、对某些问题深入的讨论反而少了，这是男女之间很有意思的一种现象。胡适一生都在追求心灵深处、灵魂之上的碰触，后来他的男性朋友扮演了这种角色，像徐志摩。
韦莲司出生望族，祖父是银行家，父亲是康奈尔大学考古生物学教授，她本人是一个非常有天分的画家。美国二三十年代的社交风气普遍比较保守，加上韦莲司生活在东岸，受清教传统影响，所以她为胡适所做的一切符合她的教养。
胡适没什么艺术天分，音乐美术都不行，基本上他是个实事求是理性思维的人；韦莲司是艺术家，而且她有美国东岸好大学里的古典训练，这是最吸引胡适的。从1914年他们结识后，双方有50年的书信来往，其中谈到各种各样的问题，像中西文化的对比等，所以胡适说韦莲司是有思想力有视野有魄力有阅历的女子，还说在两人的通信中才能看到“真我的真相”。在胡适赴美的早期，韦莲司是带领他走进西方文化的关键人物，胡适的心灵成长，其中一部分就是伴随着韦莲司而展开的。可惜周质平只把胡适写给韦莲司的信翻译出来了，没把韦写给胡的译出来，所以缺了一半。
韦莲司一生未嫁。胡适后来寄给她一张江冬秀与3个孩子的合影，1953年还带江冬秀到她家住了一个月，不知道她内心作何感想。1960年她离开美国，搬到加勒比海的小岛，直到1971年过世，86岁。1962年胡适过世后，她把每一封胡适写给她的信都用打字机重新打过，后来全部捐给胡适纪念馆。实际上她是在把关，很可能把一些信件或言辞删掉了，因为当时江冬秀还在世。
人物周刊：在您看来，男权社会里这种浪漫故事中不幸的女性角色是否是注定的？
黄克武：胡适有很多女朋友，就像江勇振书中所写的，3个月亮，好几个星星，都围绕着他这颗太阳。但有个基本模式，胡适在情感上放得不多、收得很快，一旦发现这些女子陷得太深、有点纠缠的时候，他马上打退堂鼓，这就是胡适，在情感上相当内敛，保守，在各种各样的文件中尽量隐藏，蒋介石说他是“新文化中旧道德的楷模”是有道理的，他受这种旧道德的束缚相当大。
胡适对韦莲司早期是心灵之交，可后期由于他有了其他的星星跟月亮，对韦莲司有点不太理睬，而韦莲司却处处为胡适着想。所以相对来说，胡适是个自私的男人，谦谦君子，胆子小，不是敢爱敢恨那种，只想到自己怎么在情场中全身而退。对胡适来说，他需要的不是韦莲司这样刻骨铭心，为他牺牲一切的情人，他追求的只是短暂的浪漫的爱情火花。
我们能感受到，爱他的这些女性，都是无怨无悔的，她们对于情感的追求、热爱和尊重，都远远超过胡适。胡适也说过，这些女人把love放在生命中的第一位，我们男人，大丈夫是要做大事的，怎么能这样呢？
人物周刊：你说过在他跟朋友的关系中，最有趣的是与徐志摩，为什么？
黄克武：两人是很好的朋友，徐志摩会把他的日记拿给胡适看，然后胡适在上面做批注。徐志摩也很了解胡适，他说，凡是胡文章中有按语的地方都要好好考究，因为这些按语往往都是导引你往错误方向理解的，所以胡适说“知我者志摩”。后来徐志摩到欧洲去，还托胡适照顾陆小曼，曾经想让胡适带着陆小曼到欧洲去找他，没想到胡适和陆小曼之间也擦出了一些火花，欧洲没去，倒是留下了几封陆小曼写给胡适的情书，用英文写的。
人物周刊：胡适是不是一个以事业为重，惯用理智战胜情感的人？
黄克武：这其实是一个错觉，他一生冲昏头脑的时刻多得不得了。之所以这些年在胡适研究上打破了公私界限，就是希望把公领域和私领域结合在一起，私情和公义，其实是一个铜板的两面。几年前在台北开过一个国际会议，叫“欲掩弥彰——中国历史上的私与情”，私领域相当多的生活经验和表现，其实和公领域之间有千丝万缕的联系。譬如胡适对他和江冬秀的婚约的态度，跟他在公领域——国际关系和政治参与等等的行为准则是一致的，就是：理性、法治、井然有序。
唐德刚先生有个比喻，说胡适先生的一生“就像金鱼缸里的金鱼，摇头摆尾大家都看得很一清二楚”，这话也对也不对，其实胡适私领域的部分是金鱼缸里看不到的，另有一方地盘。要“知人论事”，要看清楚作为思想史研究对象的胡适，这个疆界是必须打破的。
在台湾胡适是一等一的英雄，鲁迅却没人注意
最近几年，耿云志编的《胡适研究丛刊》，李又宁编的《胡适和他的朋友》丛书，都对胡适研究有非常重要的推动；还有一本江勇振的《星星、月亮、太阳——胡适的情感世界》，很有意思，可以说第一次清理了胡适的情感世界，写得很精准。他花了10年以上的时间，去看那些耿先生没公布的一千多封英文书信。胡适很多女朋友都是洋人，所以他很多情书都是英文写的。
人物周刊：看这些材料也得有些解密的技巧吧？
黄克武：要了解胡适的真相，首先必须打破他精心刻画的模本——一是他的《四十自述》，二是他晚年和唐德刚合著的《胡适口述自传》。这两个是胡适最重要的模板，奠定了他启蒙者的形象，也就是大家心目中光鲜亮丽的“我的朋友胡适之”。
不过胡适的个性很有意思，他很想跟后代历史学家玩玩智力游戏，有些精彩的部分他也不完全抹杀和掩盖，往往用些缩写简称或隐语来表达，所以读胡适日记就得有高度技巧，读得最好的是余英时。余先生早年研究过陈寅恪的诗，对用典、隐语的传统方式非常熟悉，所以读完400万字日记后，写了一本书(注：《重寻胡适历程》)，考证出胡适的一个女朋友，是隐藏在日记很隐秘的角落里的。
他一生冲昏头脑的时刻多得不得了
人物周刊：韦莲司女士在对待与胡适先生这段情义上，表现出东方式的妇德，是不是也受了胡适先生的影响？
黄克武：韦莲司一生都在保护胡适的清誉，是为他牺牲的女性中的一个。他们认识的时候胡适已经订了亲，当时他们确实是发乎情止乎礼，但精神层面上的交汇碰撞非常强烈，所以韦莲司说“在灵魂上已经结婚”。后来胡适回国遵母命与江冬秀完婚。直到他再去美国，1920-1930年间，两人才有肌肤之亲。但有了身体上的接触之后，两人精神上的沟通、对某些问题深入的讨论反而少了，这是男女之间很有意思的一种现象。胡适一生都在追求心灵深处、灵魂之上的碰触，后来他的男性朋友扮演了这种角色，像徐志摩。
韦莲司出生望族，祖父是银行家，父亲是康奈尔大学考古生物学教授，她本人是一个非常有天分的画家。美国二三十年代的社交风气普遍比较保守，加上韦莲司生活在东岸，受清教传统影响，所以她为胡适所做的一切符合她的教养。
胡适没什么艺术天分，音乐美术都不行，基本上他是个实事求是理性思维的人；韦莲司是艺术家，而且她有美国东岸好大学里的古典训练，这是最吸引胡适的。从1914年他们结识后，双方有50年的书信来往，其中谈到各种各样的问题，像中西文化的对比等，所以胡适说韦莲司是有思想力有视野有魄力有阅历的女子，还说在两人的通信中才能看到“真我的真相”。在胡适赴美的早期，韦莲司是带领他走进西方文化的关键人物，胡适的心灵成长，其中一部分就是伴随着韦莲司而展开的。可惜周质平只把胡适写给韦莲司的信翻译出来了，没把韦写给胡的译出来，所以缺了一半。
韦莲司一生未嫁。胡适后来寄给她一张江冬秀与3个孩子的合影，1953年还带江冬秀到她家住了一个月，不知道她内心作何感想。1960年她离开美国，搬到加勒比海的小岛，直到1971年过世，86岁。1962年胡适过世后，她把每一封胡适写给她的信都用打字机重新打过，后来全部捐给胡适纪念馆。实际上她是在把关，很可能把一些信件或言辞删掉了，因为当时江冬秀还在世。
人物周刊：在您看来，男权社会里这种浪漫故事中不幸的女性角色是否是注定的？
黄克武：胡适有很多女朋友，就像江勇振书中所写的，3个月亮，好几个星星，都围绕着他这颗太阳。但有个基本模式，胡适在情感上放得不多、收得很快，一旦发现这些女子陷得太深、有点纠缠的时候，他马上打退堂鼓，这就是胡适，在情感上相当内敛，保守，在各种各样的文件中尽量隐藏，蒋介石说他是“新文化中旧道德的楷模”是有道理的，他受这种旧道德的束缚相当大。
胡适对韦莲司早期是心灵之交，可后期由于他有了其他的星星跟月亮，对韦莲司有点不太理睬，而韦莲司却处处为胡适着想。所以相对来说，胡适是个自私的男人，谦谦君子，胆子小，不是敢爱敢恨那种，只想到自己怎么在情场中全身而退。对胡适来说，他需要的不是韦莲司这样刻骨铭心，为他牺牲一切的情人，他追求的只是短暂的浪漫的爱情火花。
我们能感受到，爱他的这些女性，都是无怨无悔的，她们对于情感的追求、热爱和尊重，都远远超过胡适。胡适也说过，这些女人把love放在生命中的第一位，我们男人，大丈夫是要做大事的，怎么能这样呢？
人物周刊：你说过在他跟朋友的关系中，最有趣的是与徐志摩，为什么？
黄克武：两人是很好的朋友，徐志摩会把他的日记拿给胡适看，然后胡适在上面做批注。徐志摩也很了解胡适，他说，凡是胡文章中有按语的地方都要好好考究，因为这些按语往往都是导引你往错误方向理解的，所以胡适说“知我者志摩”。后来徐志摩到欧洲去，还托胡适照顾陆小曼，曾经想让胡适带着陆小曼到欧洲去找他，没想到胡适和陆小曼之间也擦出了一些火花，欧洲没去，倒是留下了几封陆小曼写给胡适的情书，用英文写的。
人物周刊：胡适是不是一个以事业为重，惯用理智战胜情感的人？
黄克武：这其实是一个错觉，他一生冲昏头脑的时刻多得不得了。之所以这些年在胡适研究上打破了公私界限，就是希望把公领域和私领域结合在一起，私情和公义，其实是一个铜板的两面。几年前在台北开过一个国际会议，叫“欲掩弥彰——中国历史上的私与情”，私领域相当多的生活经验和表现，其实和公领域之间有千丝万缕的联系。譬如胡适对他和江冬秀的婚约的态度，跟他在公领域——国际关系和政治参与等等的行为准则是一致的，就是：理性、法治、井然有序。
唐德刚先生有个比喻，说胡适先生的一生“就像金鱼缸里的金鱼，摇头摆尾大家都看得很一清二楚”，这话也对也不对，其实胡适私领域的部分是金鱼缸里看不到的，另有一方地盘。要“知人论事”，要看清楚作为思想史研究对象的胡适，这个疆界是必须打破的。
在台湾胡适是一等一的英雄，鲁迅却没人注意
Thursday, October 11, 2007
色，戒
http://www.cinewiki.cn/w/%E8%89%B2%EF%BC%8C%E6%88%92
色，戒
出自CineWiki
跳转到: 导航, 搜索
Lust，Caution
《色，戒》第一款海报
导演
李安
制片人
江志强李安詹姆士·沙姆斯
原著作者
张爱玲
编剧
王蕙玲詹姆士·沙姆斯
主演
梁朝伟王力宏汤唯何赛飞陈冲
作曲
亚历山大·迪斯皮拉特
摄影
洛迪高·皮亚图
剪辑
提姆·史圭雅斯
发行
焦点电影公司
首映日期
2007年9月25日（台湾）2007年9月28日（北美）
片长
胶片
35mm
颜色
彩色
语言
国语、上海方言
声音
总投资
一亿二千万港元
前集
续集
Fifid信息-（中文）
豆瓣信息-（中文）
Mtime信息-（中文）
IMDB信息-（英文）
色，戒（其他中文片名：“色戒”、“色·戒”、“色、戒”，英文片名：“Lust, Caution”）是 中国台湾导演李安改编自张爱玲小说《色·戒》，影片于2006年9月拍摄并于2007年9月28日在北美上映的影片。由于被MPAA定为NC-17级，中国内地上映将有几十分钟的删节，并被推迟到10月26日上映。获得第64届威尼斯电影节金狮奖。
http://book.sina.com.cn/books/2006-07-20/1423203180.shtml
色，戒
出自CineWiki
跳转到: 导航, 搜索
Lust，Caution
《色，戒》第一款海报
导演
李安
制片人
江志强李安詹姆士·沙姆斯
原著作者
张爱玲
编剧
王蕙玲詹姆士·沙姆斯
主演
梁朝伟王力宏汤唯何赛飞陈冲
作曲
亚历山大·迪斯皮拉特
摄影
洛迪高·皮亚图
剪辑
提姆·史圭雅斯
发行
焦点电影公司
首映日期
2007年9月25日（台湾）2007年9月28日（北美）
片长
胶片
35mm
颜色
彩色
语言
国语、上海方言
声音
总投资
一亿二千万港元
前集
续集
Fifid信息-（中文）
豆瓣信息-（中文）
Mtime信息-（中文）
IMDB信息-（英文）
色，戒（其他中文片名：“色戒”、“色·戒”、“色、戒”，英文片名：“Lust, Caution”）是 中国台湾导演李安改编自张爱玲小说《色·戒》，影片于2006年9月拍摄并于2007年9月28日在北美上映的影片。由于被MPAA定为NC-17级，中国内地上映将有几十分钟的删节，并被推迟到10月26日上映。获得第64届威尼斯电影节金狮奖。
http://book.sina.com.cn/books/2006-07-20/1423203180.shtml
龙应台：色戒展现了一种有深度的性爱
http://ent.creaders.net/newsViewer.php?nid=322533&id=755363
南方周末 2007-10-10 11:16:54
香港中文大学教授龙应台在南方周末撰文，说色戒的床戏演得那样真实，那样彻底，使她对两位演员肃然起敬，但是，如果不是演员对导演有极度的信任，这样没有保留的演出是做不到的。文章内容如下。
性爱可以演出这样一个艺术的深度，Bravo，李安。
丁默村等于是国民政府招降成功的一名降将，这名降将不曾回到“汉军”中来披麾上阵，但他留在“曹营”暗中接应，做苹果里的一条虫，等于是国民政府植在敌营的间谍，其处境何等危险，其功劳何等重要。在战争中，隐藏的间谍所发挥的作用绝对不小于沙场浴血的战士，不是吗？
《陈立夫回忆录》第232页：丁默村本来可以不死的，但有一天他生病，在狱中保出去看医生，从南京拘留所出来，顺便游览玄武湖……这个消息被蒋委员长看到以后，蒋委员长很生气地说：“生病怎还能游玄武湖呢？应予枪毙！”
一、抢救历史
“所有的尺寸都是真的，包括三轮车的牌照和牌照上面的号码。”李安说。
《色，戒》里老上海点击查看上海及更多城市天气预报街景是如何拍出来的？他说，他的研究团队下了很深的工夫，而上海制片厂也大手笔地重现了上海老街。
“建筑材料呢？”
“也是真的。”
作者已经觉得不可思议了，但是再追一句：“可是，街上两排法国梧桐是真的吗？”
“一棵一棵种下去的。”李安说。
他提醒作者，第二次再看时，注意看易先生办公室里那张桌子。民国时代的桌子，他找了很久，因为大陆已经没有这样的东西。桌上所有的文具，包括一只杯子，都费了很大的工夫寻找。
“你有没有注意到易先生办公桌后侧有一个很大的雕像？”
啊？没有。
“是锺馗。搞特务的都会放个锺馗在办公室里。”
李安并非只是在忠实于张爱玲的原着，他是在设法忠实于一段灰飞烟灭的历史。易先生进出的门禁森严的后巷，还真的就是当年76号特务头子之一李士群的住宅后巷。
香港点击查看香港及更多城市天气预报又怎么拍的？香港的老街根本拆光了，大学生坐电车那些看起来像中环德辅道的镜头，怎么来的？
“那是槟城和怡保。那里的街屋和老香港一样，但是保留得很完整，只是马来西亚的屋顶是斜的，所以要作些计算机处理。”
“那电车怎么来的？”
“特别做的，真的电车。”
学生演戏的部分，是在香港大学陆佑堂里头拍的。1910年代的建筑，立在山头，仍旧风姿绰约。拍学生演戏的那一段，李安觉得全身起鸡皮疙瘩，因为影片里的一切，都是他自己在台北点击查看台北及更多城市天气预报国立艺专第一次演话剧时所经历的：大学礼堂的舞台，纯真年轻的学生，从演戏里头发挥自己又找到自己的奇异经验，演完以后大伙兴奋地去吃宵夜，空空的街上下着雨……
李安在叙述，作者看着他的眼睛，很大的眼睛，温煦、诚恳，但是很深刻。这里有好几层的人生和故事交叉重迭了：20岁的李安和20岁的王佳芝、邝裕民，过去的年轻演员李安和现在的年轻演员汤唯。从前和此刻，戏里和戏外，剧本和人生，层层交织。
在寻找易先生的办公桌时，浮现在李安脑里的是“小时候爸爸会用的那种桌子”。《色，戒》在寻找的，是爸爸的时代会看的电影，会哼的歌，会穿的衣服，会摆在书架上的书，还有民国的口音。一口京腔普通话的汤唯得上课改学南方的国语。梁朝伟、王力宏、汤唯上了三个月的课，要读《未央歌》、《蓝与黑》，要看尤敏主演的《星星月亮太阳》，要听当时的流行音乐，要读戴笠和胡兰成的传记和作品，要熟悉张爱玲作品里的每一个字，要进入一个有纵深的、完整的历史情境。
很深地“浸泡”在那个历史情境里，李安说，拍到后来，几乎有点被“附身”的感觉。“是张爱玲的作品找我，不是我找它。这段历史，就是要被留下来。”
“可是他们这个年龄的人距离那个时代，太遥远了。”似乎说得口都乾了，他喝了一口茶，继续，“我们这一代还知道一点点，我们这一代不拍这电影，将来，就永远不可能了。”
作者看着李安。这是香港中环的四季酒店，接近晚上11点，突然发现了《色，戒》是什么。
它是李安个人的“抢救历史”行动。也许是张爱玲小说里人性的矛盾吸引了他，也许是张爱玲离经叛道的价值观触动了他，也许是小说的电影笔法启发了他，但是，真正拍起来，却是一个非常个人的理由，使得他以“人类学家”的求证精神和“历史学家”的精准态度去“落实”张爱玲的小说，把上世纪四零年代的民国史──包括它的精神面貌和物质生活，像拍纪录片一样写实地纪录下来。他非常自觉，这段民国史，在香港只是看不见的边缘，在大陆早已湮没沉埋，在台湾，逐渐被去除，被遗忘，被抛弃，如果他不做，这一段就可能永远地沉没。他在抢救一段他自己是其中一部分的式微的历史。
“话剧团的部分在港大陆佑堂拍，你知道陆佑是什么人吗？”
他摇头。
“你记得民国五十三年，有架飞机因为劫机在台中附近掉下来，死了五六十个人，很多电影圈的重要人物，里面有个人叫陆运涛？”
“当然知道，”李安说，“他是电懋电影的创立人，《星星月亮太阳》就是他的。他那时先来花莲，还有雷震跟赵雷，我那时九岁，还跟他们一起照相，印象很深刻。”
“陆佑，就是陆运涛的父亲。”
啊……他不说话了，可是我们可能都在想一样的事情：历史的许多蛛丝马迹，看似互不相关，却会在你毫无准备的时候蓦然浮现，仿佛它找到了你。张爱玲在1939年拎着一只大皮箱来到港大校园，许地山是她的系主任。战火开打时，她在陆佑堂的临时医院里作学生看护，外表清纯的女学生心里深藏着一个人性X光照相机，喀嚓喀嚓拍下人世的荒芜。二十几岁的港大女生张爱玲，是否料到70年后在陆佑堂，有个李安试图把她褪色的胶卷还原？
二、性在绝望里
床戏演得那样真实，那样彻底，使笔者对两位演员肃然起敬，但是，如果不是演员对导演有极度的信任，这样没有保留的演出是做不到的。李安是如何说服演员在这部电影里，激烈而直接的性是必要的呢？
我相信它的必要。
张爱玲的这篇“不好看”的小说，之所以惊世骇俗，主要是因为小说中违反世俗的黑白不分、忠奸不明的价值观。一般的作者去处理女特工和汉奸的故事，难免要写女特工的壮烈和汉奸的可恶。张爱玲的女特工却因为私情而害了国事，张爱玲的汉奸，也不那么明白地可恶，长得“苍白清秀”，最贴近的描述，透露的倒有几分可怜：“此刻的微笑也丝毫不带讽刺性，不过有点悲哀。他的侧影迎着台灯，目光下视，睫毛像米色的蛾翅，歇落在瘦瘦的面颊上，在她看来是一种温柔怜惜的神气。”
更“严重”的是，女特工之所以动情，那情却也不是一般浪漫小说里的纯纯的爱，而是，性爱。 “事实是，每次跟老易在一起都像洗了个热水澡，把积郁都冲掉了，因为一切都有了个目的。”征服一个男人通过他的胃，“到女人心里的路通过阴道。”如果王佳芝背叛了她的同志，是由于她纯纯的爱，她还可能被世俗谅解甚至美化，但是，她却是因为性的享受，而产生情，而背叛大义，这，才是真正的离经叛道，才是小说真正的强大张力所在。“她最后对他的感情强烈到是什么感情都不相干了，只是有感情。他们是原始的猎人与猎物的关系，虎与伥的关系，最终极的占有。”就权力的掌控而言，易先生是“猎人”，王佳芝是“猎物”；就肉体的释放而言，王佳芝可能是“猎人”，易先生是“猎物”。
因为有如此浓烈的“色”，才会有危险而肃杀的“戒”。易先生把一枚“戒指”圈在王佳芝的手指上，究竟是易先生施“戒”于王，还是王是易先生的“戒”，恐怕是一个辩证关系、互为连环。“虎”和“伥”是什么关系？“伥”和“娼”又是什么关系？在小说里，性写得隐晦，但是张爱玲仿佛给李安写了导演指示：“到女人心里的路通过阴道”，是一个写在剧本旁边的导演指示。导演完全看见了性爱在这出戏里关键的地位，所有的戏剧矛盾和紧张，其实都源自这里。
李安对性爱的拿捏，非常精准。头一场床戏的暴虐或可被批评为缺乏创意，因为专家会指出，这种性的暴虐在纳粹电影里常会出现，用来突显”权势就是春药“的主题。但是在其后的床戏中，两人身体之极尽缠绕交揉而神情之极尽控制紧绷，充分呈现了两人对自己、对命运的态度：易先生对战事早有坏的预感，知道自己前途堪虞。王佳芝更是走在火烫的刀山上，命提在手里。两人的表情，有绝望的神色，性爱，是亡命之徒的惟一救赎也是最后一搏；加上一张床外面的世界是狼犬和手枪，暗杀和刑求，阴雨绵绵，“色”与“戒”在这里做最尖锐的抵触对峙，李安把戏剧的张力拉到接近断裂边缘。
张爱玲曾经深爱胡兰成，胡兰成曾经伤害张爱玲。张爱玲对于“汉奸”胡兰成，有多么深的爱和恨？不敢说，但是在《色，戒》里，王佳芝身上有那么多张爱玲的影子，而易先生身上又无法不令人联想胡兰成。《色，戒》会让张爱玲涂涂写写30年，最后写出来，又是一个藏的比露的多得多的东西，太多的欲言又止，太多的语焉不详，太复杂的情感，太暧昧的态度，从上世纪四零年代她刚出道就被指控为“汉奸文人”这段历程来看，《色，戒》可能真是隐藏着最多张爱玲内心情感纠缠的一篇作品。
《色，戒》，表面上看起来似乎是写郑苹如和丁默村的故事，实际上，那幽微暗色的心理世界，那爱与恨、“猎人与猎物”、“虎与伥”的关系，那“终极的占 有”，写的哪里是郑苹如和丁默村呢？李安说，他让梁朝伟揣摩易先生角色时，是让他把丁默村、李士群、胡兰成、戴笠四个人的特质糅合在一起的。汤唯演的，是王佳芝和张爱玲的重迭。
性爱可以演出这样一个艺术的深度，Bravo，李安。
南方周末 2007-10-10 11:16:54
香港中文大学教授龙应台在南方周末撰文，说色戒的床戏演得那样真实，那样彻底，使她对两位演员肃然起敬，但是，如果不是演员对导演有极度的信任，这样没有保留的演出是做不到的。文章内容如下。
性爱可以演出这样一个艺术的深度，Bravo，李安。
丁默村等于是国民政府招降成功的一名降将，这名降将不曾回到“汉军”中来披麾上阵，但他留在“曹营”暗中接应，做苹果里的一条虫，等于是国民政府植在敌营的间谍，其处境何等危险，其功劳何等重要。在战争中，隐藏的间谍所发挥的作用绝对不小于沙场浴血的战士，不是吗？
《陈立夫回忆录》第232页：丁默村本来可以不死的，但有一天他生病，在狱中保出去看医生，从南京拘留所出来，顺便游览玄武湖……这个消息被蒋委员长看到以后，蒋委员长很生气地说：“生病怎还能游玄武湖呢？应予枪毙！”
一、抢救历史
“所有的尺寸都是真的，包括三轮车的牌照和牌照上面的号码。”李安说。
《色，戒》里老上海点击查看上海及更多城市天气预报街景是如何拍出来的？他说，他的研究团队下了很深的工夫，而上海制片厂也大手笔地重现了上海老街。
“建筑材料呢？”
“也是真的。”
作者已经觉得不可思议了，但是再追一句：“可是，街上两排法国梧桐是真的吗？”
“一棵一棵种下去的。”李安说。
他提醒作者，第二次再看时，注意看易先生办公室里那张桌子。民国时代的桌子，他找了很久，因为大陆已经没有这样的东西。桌上所有的文具，包括一只杯子，都费了很大的工夫寻找。
“你有没有注意到易先生办公桌后侧有一个很大的雕像？”
啊？没有。
“是锺馗。搞特务的都会放个锺馗在办公室里。”
李安并非只是在忠实于张爱玲的原着，他是在设法忠实于一段灰飞烟灭的历史。易先生进出的门禁森严的后巷，还真的就是当年76号特务头子之一李士群的住宅后巷。
香港点击查看香港及更多城市天气预报又怎么拍的？香港的老街根本拆光了，大学生坐电车那些看起来像中环德辅道的镜头，怎么来的？
“那是槟城和怡保。那里的街屋和老香港一样，但是保留得很完整，只是马来西亚的屋顶是斜的，所以要作些计算机处理。”
“那电车怎么来的？”
“特别做的，真的电车。”
学生演戏的部分，是在香港大学陆佑堂里头拍的。1910年代的建筑，立在山头，仍旧风姿绰约。拍学生演戏的那一段，李安觉得全身起鸡皮疙瘩，因为影片里的一切，都是他自己在台北点击查看台北及更多城市天气预报国立艺专第一次演话剧时所经历的：大学礼堂的舞台，纯真年轻的学生，从演戏里头发挥自己又找到自己的奇异经验，演完以后大伙兴奋地去吃宵夜，空空的街上下着雨……
李安在叙述，作者看着他的眼睛，很大的眼睛，温煦、诚恳，但是很深刻。这里有好几层的人生和故事交叉重迭了：20岁的李安和20岁的王佳芝、邝裕民，过去的年轻演员李安和现在的年轻演员汤唯。从前和此刻，戏里和戏外，剧本和人生，层层交织。
在寻找易先生的办公桌时，浮现在李安脑里的是“小时候爸爸会用的那种桌子”。《色，戒》在寻找的，是爸爸的时代会看的电影，会哼的歌，会穿的衣服，会摆在书架上的书，还有民国的口音。一口京腔普通话的汤唯得上课改学南方的国语。梁朝伟、王力宏、汤唯上了三个月的课，要读《未央歌》、《蓝与黑》，要看尤敏主演的《星星月亮太阳》，要听当时的流行音乐，要读戴笠和胡兰成的传记和作品，要熟悉张爱玲作品里的每一个字，要进入一个有纵深的、完整的历史情境。
很深地“浸泡”在那个历史情境里，李安说，拍到后来，几乎有点被“附身”的感觉。“是张爱玲的作品找我，不是我找它。这段历史，就是要被留下来。”
“可是他们这个年龄的人距离那个时代，太遥远了。”似乎说得口都乾了，他喝了一口茶，继续，“我们这一代还知道一点点，我们这一代不拍这电影，将来，就永远不可能了。”
作者看着李安。这是香港中环的四季酒店，接近晚上11点，突然发现了《色，戒》是什么。
它是李安个人的“抢救历史”行动。也许是张爱玲小说里人性的矛盾吸引了他，也许是张爱玲离经叛道的价值观触动了他，也许是小说的电影笔法启发了他，但是，真正拍起来，却是一个非常个人的理由，使得他以“人类学家”的求证精神和“历史学家”的精准态度去“落实”张爱玲的小说，把上世纪四零年代的民国史──包括它的精神面貌和物质生活，像拍纪录片一样写实地纪录下来。他非常自觉，这段民国史，在香港只是看不见的边缘，在大陆早已湮没沉埋，在台湾，逐渐被去除，被遗忘，被抛弃，如果他不做，这一段就可能永远地沉没。他在抢救一段他自己是其中一部分的式微的历史。
“话剧团的部分在港大陆佑堂拍，你知道陆佑是什么人吗？”
他摇头。
“你记得民国五十三年，有架飞机因为劫机在台中附近掉下来，死了五六十个人，很多电影圈的重要人物，里面有个人叫陆运涛？”
“当然知道，”李安说，“他是电懋电影的创立人，《星星月亮太阳》就是他的。他那时先来花莲，还有雷震跟赵雷，我那时九岁，还跟他们一起照相，印象很深刻。”
“陆佑，就是陆运涛的父亲。”
啊……他不说话了，可是我们可能都在想一样的事情：历史的许多蛛丝马迹，看似互不相关，却会在你毫无准备的时候蓦然浮现，仿佛它找到了你。张爱玲在1939年拎着一只大皮箱来到港大校园，许地山是她的系主任。战火开打时，她在陆佑堂的临时医院里作学生看护，外表清纯的女学生心里深藏着一个人性X光照相机，喀嚓喀嚓拍下人世的荒芜。二十几岁的港大女生张爱玲，是否料到70年后在陆佑堂，有个李安试图把她褪色的胶卷还原？
二、性在绝望里
床戏演得那样真实，那样彻底，使笔者对两位演员肃然起敬，但是，如果不是演员对导演有极度的信任，这样没有保留的演出是做不到的。李安是如何说服演员在这部电影里，激烈而直接的性是必要的呢？
我相信它的必要。
张爱玲的这篇“不好看”的小说，之所以惊世骇俗，主要是因为小说中违反世俗的黑白不分、忠奸不明的价值观。一般的作者去处理女特工和汉奸的故事，难免要写女特工的壮烈和汉奸的可恶。张爱玲的女特工却因为私情而害了国事，张爱玲的汉奸，也不那么明白地可恶，长得“苍白清秀”，最贴近的描述，透露的倒有几分可怜：“此刻的微笑也丝毫不带讽刺性，不过有点悲哀。他的侧影迎着台灯，目光下视，睫毛像米色的蛾翅，歇落在瘦瘦的面颊上，在她看来是一种温柔怜惜的神气。”
更“严重”的是，女特工之所以动情，那情却也不是一般浪漫小说里的纯纯的爱，而是，性爱。 “事实是，每次跟老易在一起都像洗了个热水澡，把积郁都冲掉了，因为一切都有了个目的。”征服一个男人通过他的胃，“到女人心里的路通过阴道。”如果王佳芝背叛了她的同志，是由于她纯纯的爱，她还可能被世俗谅解甚至美化，但是，她却是因为性的享受，而产生情，而背叛大义，这，才是真正的离经叛道，才是小说真正的强大张力所在。“她最后对他的感情强烈到是什么感情都不相干了，只是有感情。他们是原始的猎人与猎物的关系，虎与伥的关系，最终极的占有。”就权力的掌控而言，易先生是“猎人”，王佳芝是“猎物”；就肉体的释放而言，王佳芝可能是“猎人”，易先生是“猎物”。
因为有如此浓烈的“色”，才会有危险而肃杀的“戒”。易先生把一枚“戒指”圈在王佳芝的手指上，究竟是易先生施“戒”于王，还是王是易先生的“戒”，恐怕是一个辩证关系、互为连环。“虎”和“伥”是什么关系？“伥”和“娼”又是什么关系？在小说里，性写得隐晦，但是张爱玲仿佛给李安写了导演指示：“到女人心里的路通过阴道”，是一个写在剧本旁边的导演指示。导演完全看见了性爱在这出戏里关键的地位，所有的戏剧矛盾和紧张，其实都源自这里。
李安对性爱的拿捏，非常精准。头一场床戏的暴虐或可被批评为缺乏创意，因为专家会指出，这种性的暴虐在纳粹电影里常会出现，用来突显”权势就是春药“的主题。但是在其后的床戏中，两人身体之极尽缠绕交揉而神情之极尽控制紧绷，充分呈现了两人对自己、对命运的态度：易先生对战事早有坏的预感，知道自己前途堪虞。王佳芝更是走在火烫的刀山上，命提在手里。两人的表情，有绝望的神色，性爱，是亡命之徒的惟一救赎也是最后一搏；加上一张床外面的世界是狼犬和手枪，暗杀和刑求，阴雨绵绵，“色”与“戒”在这里做最尖锐的抵触对峙，李安把戏剧的张力拉到接近断裂边缘。
张爱玲曾经深爱胡兰成，胡兰成曾经伤害张爱玲。张爱玲对于“汉奸”胡兰成，有多么深的爱和恨？不敢说，但是在《色，戒》里，王佳芝身上有那么多张爱玲的影子，而易先生身上又无法不令人联想胡兰成。《色，戒》会让张爱玲涂涂写写30年，最后写出来，又是一个藏的比露的多得多的东西，太多的欲言又止，太多的语焉不详，太复杂的情感，太暧昧的态度，从上世纪四零年代她刚出道就被指控为“汉奸文人”这段历程来看，《色，戒》可能真是隐藏着最多张爱玲内心情感纠缠的一篇作品。
《色，戒》，表面上看起来似乎是写郑苹如和丁默村的故事，实际上，那幽微暗色的心理世界，那爱与恨、“猎人与猎物”、“虎与伥”的关系，那“终极的占 有”，写的哪里是郑苹如和丁默村呢？李安说，他让梁朝伟揣摩易先生角色时，是让他把丁默村、李士群、胡兰成、戴笠四个人的特质糅合在一起的。汤唯演的，是王佳芝和张爱玲的重迭。
性爱可以演出这样一个艺术的深度，Bravo，李安。
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
相隔十八年的两次旅程--送儿上学有感
送交者: 老秃笔 2007年9月01日19:53:09 于 [五味斋]http://www.bbsland.com
http://bbs2.creaders.net/life/messages/769991.html
八月24日，全家开车自秃城去波士顿，送大儿子上学。秃城到波士顿1，071英里。开车18个小时。正好全家在车里说话聊天，享受一下和孩子们紧密亲热的乐趣。 儿子要求，在他人生的一个里程碑上，我们全家和他一起经历见证。
我也一直在盼望这次旅程，因为，这次旅程会让我心里的一个隐痛痊愈，让我合上心里的一页历史。
十八年前，我正在赌博的最后关头，实在无暇照顾刚出生的儿子。太太也要打工上学。所以一个可爱的儿子居然让我们体力上疲惫交加经济上捉襟见肘。我父母闻讯叫我们把儿子送回去由他们代养。父母苦口婆心地讲了一通苦几年稳定了再把儿子送回来的好处。我们就一狠心，决定把儿子托付给一个父亲的朋友带回去。那时，儿子正好6个月，胖胖的像个肉球，正是好玩的时候。也许从国内带来的价值观作用，我居然觉得把孩子送回去是个好主意。这样，我给孩子买了机票，在一个周末开车把儿子送到了牛城机场。可是，在路上，我就开始有股不好的感觉，不愿意把孩子送回去。路上，儿子一会睡觉一回玩要。我把手送到他的面前，他就啃上了。热乎乎的哈拉子流了一手，柔软的小嫩肉摸着真亲切。我回头看看秃太，算了，咱们不送了。自己养吧。秃太说，你自己做决定吧。想了想，我说，还是狠心送回去吧。这样我们可以轻松些。跟爷奶长大，我们放心啊。
到了牛城机场后，我们进了候机大厅。当时国际航班只有一个玻璃大厅分开。我想抱着儿子进去候机。在门口被安全警卫拦下。只能一个人进去。这下子，我真切地感到了痛苦离别的劲头。那个时候，我们还拿着因公护照，像许多人一样，回去了可能不能再出来。这样，送孩子回去，还真有些生死离别的味道儿。眼看着秃太哭着把孩子送进国际候机大厅，我再也忍不住了。难过的号啕大哭起来。心里真的痛苦至极。 恨自己没出息，就学良久，养活不了家人，只能把孩子送回去由父母代养。
看到我在玻璃门外痛苦哭涕，安全警卫动了恻隐之心。他走过来拍拍我，让我进去。我立刻冲进国际候机厅。这时，儿子已经睡了。亲了亲他的胖脸蛋，我对父亲的朋友说，您费心了。他说，你放心，我会把你儿子安全带回去。饶是如此，当儿子被推进机舱后，我还是默默地流泪。心里在后悔送他回去的决定。可是，我还不得不用大道理安慰自己，为了完成学业，找到工作，不得不舍弃儿女情长一段时间。回去的路上，车子里还有儿子的奶香味道，我和秃太不再说笑，心里都在痛着。自己养大到六个月，早就有了深厚的感情。每天看儿子睡觉，玩要，每天发现他的新进步。这是何等的乐趣啊。 有了孩子，就有了乐趣。虽然每天还是劳累如昔，我们心里不觉得苦。 每天盼望早些回家跟儿子亲热会儿。可眼下，我居然把可爱的儿子送回去了。
回到家里，赶紧打电话给父母。那边，父母正高兴地忙碌着。小孙子的到来给他们的生活添加了很大的乐趣。父亲打报告要求提前退休。我对父母说，你们养育了我，现在又养育我的儿子。不过，我是真不愿意再过这种日子了。说着，我控制不住地大哭起来。这是我一生中第一次号啕大哭，第一次这样痛苦，第一次这样感觉孤苦无力。这一次，成了我一生的隐痛。无论什么时候回想起来，我都会心里隐约作痛。
前年回去时，同一个老友聚会，说到这事，我还是忍不住激动的语音发颤。 通过这件事情，我知道了生死不分别的宝贵含义。 这么多年，我从不愿意提起送儿子回国的事情。那是刻在我心里的永久伤疤。
儿子在飞机上哭闹了一路。带他的人不会哄孩子。幸亏有个女医生帮着，总算把儿子安全带到北京。爷爷和姑姑早就在机场登机口等着。也奇怪了，儿子看到爷爷，虽然从来没有见过，居然不哭了，还笑笑。爷爷把孙子紧紧地抱在怀里，儿子不久就睡着了。那种祖孙血缘关系的神奇作用真的存在呢。这边，我们想念儿子，每周一定要打电话回去问情况。每月的电话费用不贷。每月家里会寄来儿子的照片。
没几个月，北京民主运动风起云涌，演变成共产党屠城的世纪大悲剧。当罪恶的子弹响彻北京的夜空时，爷爷抱着孙子流泪，让受惊的孙子在他的怀里睡了几夜。送过去后，儿子在爷奶的精心照顾下，进步飞快。无数的照片记录了儿子的成长。后来，儿子两岁时候回来跟我们团聚。了结了一段辛酸的分别历程。只是，作为父亲，我没有看到儿子那个年纪的样子，我也一直内疚，我如何会把孩子交给一个陌生人。想想孩子跟父母的信任感，安全感，我真的不应该把他送给别人带回去。虽然他年纪小还不能说话。但他醒来后，发现在一个陌生的环境中，不见了熟悉的父母，他的恐惧，可想而知。我是辜负了儿子小心灵里的信任。为这个，我一直不能原谅自己。内疚感延续到了今天。休说什么儿女情长干不了大事，不错，想要干成大事，真的需要付出代价。可是，我这样的平常人，原本不至于非要把儿子送回国内的。无非是自己多吃些苦，过紧巴巴的日子。
哎，由不得长叹一口气，人生真的是难以预测，有高有低啊。 儿子长大后，我多次问他，还记得小时候的事情吗？当然不会记得了。孩子在那个岁数还没有长久的记忆。可是，我的记忆不会淡薄，在心里，我永远欠着儿子一份债。
这次，全家送他去波士顿上学，重走了当年送他的路途。看到沿途的高楼大厦，我心里高兴得只想吼一嗓子。我的可爱儿子长大成人了。这当年的辛苦没有白费，这当年的分别总算有些补偿。今天，我们重走这段路，和当年的悲戚戚的性情大不一样。我们是说笑着送儿子开始了他人生的一个里程碑生活。看着秃太依旧清澈的眼睛，看着秃太依旧清秀的脸庞，看着儿子青春的样子，我还能说什么.? 真的满足了。感谢上天对我们不薄：让我们团圆，让我们快乐，让我们对明天依旧充满着希望。回家的路上，我对秃太说，儿子是早上八九点钟的太阳，咱们呢？秃太说，太阳快要落山了。我说，不，太阳正当午。谁说岁月催人老？不见中年依然激情满怀？
http://bbs2.creaders.net/life/messages/769991.html
八月24日，全家开车自秃城去波士顿，送大儿子上学。秃城到波士顿1，071英里。开车18个小时。正好全家在车里说话聊天，享受一下和孩子们紧密亲热的乐趣。 儿子要求，在他人生的一个里程碑上，我们全家和他一起经历见证。
我也一直在盼望这次旅程，因为，这次旅程会让我心里的一个隐痛痊愈，让我合上心里的一页历史。
十八年前，我正在赌博的最后关头，实在无暇照顾刚出生的儿子。太太也要打工上学。所以一个可爱的儿子居然让我们体力上疲惫交加经济上捉襟见肘。我父母闻讯叫我们把儿子送回去由他们代养。父母苦口婆心地讲了一通苦几年稳定了再把儿子送回来的好处。我们就一狠心，决定把儿子托付给一个父亲的朋友带回去。那时，儿子正好6个月，胖胖的像个肉球，正是好玩的时候。也许从国内带来的价值观作用，我居然觉得把孩子送回去是个好主意。这样，我给孩子买了机票，在一个周末开车把儿子送到了牛城机场。可是，在路上，我就开始有股不好的感觉，不愿意把孩子送回去。路上，儿子一会睡觉一回玩要。我把手送到他的面前，他就啃上了。热乎乎的哈拉子流了一手，柔软的小嫩肉摸着真亲切。我回头看看秃太，算了，咱们不送了。自己养吧。秃太说，你自己做决定吧。想了想，我说，还是狠心送回去吧。这样我们可以轻松些。跟爷奶长大，我们放心啊。
到了牛城机场后，我们进了候机大厅。当时国际航班只有一个玻璃大厅分开。我想抱着儿子进去候机。在门口被安全警卫拦下。只能一个人进去。这下子，我真切地感到了痛苦离别的劲头。那个时候，我们还拿着因公护照，像许多人一样，回去了可能不能再出来。这样，送孩子回去，还真有些生死离别的味道儿。眼看着秃太哭着把孩子送进国际候机大厅，我再也忍不住了。难过的号啕大哭起来。心里真的痛苦至极。 恨自己没出息，就学良久，养活不了家人，只能把孩子送回去由父母代养。
看到我在玻璃门外痛苦哭涕，安全警卫动了恻隐之心。他走过来拍拍我，让我进去。我立刻冲进国际候机厅。这时，儿子已经睡了。亲了亲他的胖脸蛋，我对父亲的朋友说，您费心了。他说，你放心，我会把你儿子安全带回去。饶是如此，当儿子被推进机舱后，我还是默默地流泪。心里在后悔送他回去的决定。可是，我还不得不用大道理安慰自己，为了完成学业，找到工作，不得不舍弃儿女情长一段时间。回去的路上，车子里还有儿子的奶香味道，我和秃太不再说笑，心里都在痛着。自己养大到六个月，早就有了深厚的感情。每天看儿子睡觉，玩要，每天发现他的新进步。这是何等的乐趣啊。 有了孩子，就有了乐趣。虽然每天还是劳累如昔，我们心里不觉得苦。 每天盼望早些回家跟儿子亲热会儿。可眼下，我居然把可爱的儿子送回去了。
回到家里，赶紧打电话给父母。那边，父母正高兴地忙碌着。小孙子的到来给他们的生活添加了很大的乐趣。父亲打报告要求提前退休。我对父母说，你们养育了我，现在又养育我的儿子。不过，我是真不愿意再过这种日子了。说着，我控制不住地大哭起来。这是我一生中第一次号啕大哭，第一次这样痛苦，第一次这样感觉孤苦无力。这一次，成了我一生的隐痛。无论什么时候回想起来，我都会心里隐约作痛。
前年回去时，同一个老友聚会，说到这事，我还是忍不住激动的语音发颤。 通过这件事情，我知道了生死不分别的宝贵含义。 这么多年，我从不愿意提起送儿子回国的事情。那是刻在我心里的永久伤疤。
儿子在飞机上哭闹了一路。带他的人不会哄孩子。幸亏有个女医生帮着，总算把儿子安全带到北京。爷爷和姑姑早就在机场登机口等着。也奇怪了，儿子看到爷爷，虽然从来没有见过，居然不哭了，还笑笑。爷爷把孙子紧紧地抱在怀里，儿子不久就睡着了。那种祖孙血缘关系的神奇作用真的存在呢。这边，我们想念儿子，每周一定要打电话回去问情况。每月的电话费用不贷。每月家里会寄来儿子的照片。
没几个月，北京民主运动风起云涌，演变成共产党屠城的世纪大悲剧。当罪恶的子弹响彻北京的夜空时，爷爷抱着孙子流泪，让受惊的孙子在他的怀里睡了几夜。送过去后，儿子在爷奶的精心照顾下，进步飞快。无数的照片记录了儿子的成长。后来，儿子两岁时候回来跟我们团聚。了结了一段辛酸的分别历程。只是，作为父亲，我没有看到儿子那个年纪的样子，我也一直内疚，我如何会把孩子交给一个陌生人。想想孩子跟父母的信任感，安全感，我真的不应该把他送给别人带回去。虽然他年纪小还不能说话。但他醒来后，发现在一个陌生的环境中，不见了熟悉的父母，他的恐惧，可想而知。我是辜负了儿子小心灵里的信任。为这个，我一直不能原谅自己。内疚感延续到了今天。休说什么儿女情长干不了大事，不错，想要干成大事，真的需要付出代价。可是，我这样的平常人，原本不至于非要把儿子送回国内的。无非是自己多吃些苦，过紧巴巴的日子。
哎，由不得长叹一口气，人生真的是难以预测，有高有低啊。 儿子长大后，我多次问他，还记得小时候的事情吗？当然不会记得了。孩子在那个岁数还没有长久的记忆。可是，我的记忆不会淡薄，在心里，我永远欠着儿子一份债。
这次，全家送他去波士顿上学，重走了当年送他的路途。看到沿途的高楼大厦，我心里高兴得只想吼一嗓子。我的可爱儿子长大成人了。这当年的辛苦没有白费，这当年的分别总算有些补偿。今天，我们重走这段路，和当年的悲戚戚的性情大不一样。我们是说笑着送儿子开始了他人生的一个里程碑生活。看着秃太依旧清澈的眼睛，看着秃太依旧清秀的脸庞，看着儿子青春的样子，我还能说什么.? 真的满足了。感谢上天对我们不薄：让我们团圆，让我们快乐，让我们对明天依旧充满着希望。回家的路上，我对秃太说，儿子是早上八九点钟的太阳，咱们呢？秃太说，太阳快要落山了。我说，不，太阳正当午。谁说岁月催人老？不见中年依然激情满怀？
ZT / 色戒是伟大的电影
送交者: 麦片粥 2007年10月09日02:38:54 于 [茗香茶语]http://www.bbsland.com
http://bbs2.creaders.net/tea/messages/1511811.html
前两天看了色戒，觉得这是一部伟大的电影，远比我想象的要深刻的多。
这电影在我看来，和性爱的关系不大，我看到的更多的，是深深的绝望。李安完美的制作，就好像雕工精致的小刀，一点点的剜你的心。
第一次哭，是在这群孩子在演话剧的时候。那样扑面而熟悉的天真，还不知道他们即将一步步成为别人角力的工具；或者，在这样的年月里，能做工具也不算太差。当人们被感动而齐声喊道“中国不能亡”，从那里开始我就一哭到底了。 我倒不是被“中国不能亡”感动，如果大家一起喊“日本不能亡”，我一样会哭—那种民众瞬间的统一的热情是震撼而令人害怕的—这样的热情像白雪一样，只在那个瞬间是单纯的，而这瞬间之外，就是不停歇的污染，利用，变得难堪的厚或者薄直至消亡成水，酝酿下一次的瞬间纯洁和无尽肮脏。
我觉得伟大的电影的定义，就是那种你觉得其中每一个人的思想行为都是正常的，都是你我都会做的。（对比之下，穿着亮闪闪的披挂，一会儿毒老婆，一会儿杀老公，是我们基本干不出来的事，就不算伟大电影。） 一切正常的行为，却演绎出了人生不可知的戏剧性。
王佳芝是个单纯的姑娘，在今天大概就是个上网，逛街，喜欢某个明星但还不太疯狂的隔壁人家的小姑娘。我相信她不恨易先生，她的恨是环境告诉她要这样。她最多就恨下她的爸爸，但离得远了，连那种恨也是淡淡的。 但王佳芝又是个有主意有思想的姑娘，她知道她的心终究不可以都由别人来代言。 她愿意接受所有的挑战，除了初时因为年青的朦胧或时代的热烈，大部分还是因为这样可以让孤苦的生命和无目的的人生都有了奔头。
王佳芝怀着人工的恨开始的冒险生涯，却结束在她和易先生刚刚建立起的友谊。 我觉得她和易先生之间，与其说是两个男女的爱，更不如是两个人之间的爱。 在乱世深深的恐惧与绝望里，王佳芝身上的单纯倔强的生活气息，让易先生在死亡的阴影中感觉生命微弱的喜悦。 王佳芝在日占区里给易先生俏皮地表演，易先生流下眼泪—这时刻里只是人与人之间最单纯的信任，像初生的婴儿，让人喜欢又怕它夭折而不敢久留。但人总是贪心，贪那一刻的欢喜，所以易先生会买戒指，所以王佳芝会选择让他走，都因为以为那温暖可以再驻久一些。
但我们大部分人，都好像是易先生或者邝裕民，都是对自己残忍的人，觉得那些个阵营，那些个事业，那些个主义，比我们自己更加重要。 连我们自己的生命和快乐都抵不过主义们重要，那么别人的就更不值了。 易先生没二话地签了王佳芝的死刑，我想，不是因为男人不如女人长情，而是因为很少有人会像王佳芝一样对生活有那样单纯热烈的喜爱。
我已经用了无数个“单纯”在这文章里。 我找不到更好的词。我个人认为，这部电影的一个主线，就是讲生命的单纯企图，在社会的洪流中，永远都是被牺牲掉，吞噬掉的。而且常常，去吞噬这单纯的，包括我们自己。 在看到片中这群单纯的学生笨拙地初次杀人的时候，我泪流满面。 那里的每一个人，包括有野心的邝裕民，我都可能是。我可能比他们下手更狠。这是多么心惊的感念，走上一条不归路，居然那么容易。 在这里，正义是复仇者美丽的借口，爱国主义是政客的印钞机；兴，亡，百姓都苦，那么就做别人的棋子和鱼肉吧—已经是棋子了，还在乎哪只手把你从A移到B么？已经是鱼肉了，还在乎斩你的刀是什么牌子么？ 爱国主义，卖国主义，素食主义，裸体主义，随便叫什么好了，跟我们有什么关系么？
李安这部电影，是一部伟大的电影。是传世而永垂不朽的。 一个人一个色戒。有人说这电影西人不懂，中国人也不懂。我想，中国人今天看不懂，明天可以看懂。我们看不懂，未来的人可以看懂。 而至于西人不懂，除了电影本来就不是每个人都懂或懂得一样这个原因外，片中对话繁多，要分心看字幕，可能影响欣赏—这大概是这片子唯一的遗憾。
http://bbs2.creaders.net/tea/messages/1511811.html
前两天看了色戒，觉得这是一部伟大的电影，远比我想象的要深刻的多。
这电影在我看来，和性爱的关系不大，我看到的更多的，是深深的绝望。李安完美的制作，就好像雕工精致的小刀，一点点的剜你的心。
第一次哭，是在这群孩子在演话剧的时候。那样扑面而熟悉的天真，还不知道他们即将一步步成为别人角力的工具；或者，在这样的年月里，能做工具也不算太差。当人们被感动而齐声喊道“中国不能亡”，从那里开始我就一哭到底了。 我倒不是被“中国不能亡”感动，如果大家一起喊“日本不能亡”，我一样会哭—那种民众瞬间的统一的热情是震撼而令人害怕的—这样的热情像白雪一样，只在那个瞬间是单纯的，而这瞬间之外，就是不停歇的污染，利用，变得难堪的厚或者薄直至消亡成水，酝酿下一次的瞬间纯洁和无尽肮脏。
我觉得伟大的电影的定义，就是那种你觉得其中每一个人的思想行为都是正常的，都是你我都会做的。（对比之下，穿着亮闪闪的披挂，一会儿毒老婆，一会儿杀老公，是我们基本干不出来的事，就不算伟大电影。） 一切正常的行为，却演绎出了人生不可知的戏剧性。
王佳芝是个单纯的姑娘，在今天大概就是个上网，逛街，喜欢某个明星但还不太疯狂的隔壁人家的小姑娘。我相信她不恨易先生，她的恨是环境告诉她要这样。她最多就恨下她的爸爸，但离得远了，连那种恨也是淡淡的。 但王佳芝又是个有主意有思想的姑娘，她知道她的心终究不可以都由别人来代言。 她愿意接受所有的挑战，除了初时因为年青的朦胧或时代的热烈，大部分还是因为这样可以让孤苦的生命和无目的的人生都有了奔头。
王佳芝怀着人工的恨开始的冒险生涯，却结束在她和易先生刚刚建立起的友谊。 我觉得她和易先生之间，与其说是两个男女的爱，更不如是两个人之间的爱。 在乱世深深的恐惧与绝望里，王佳芝身上的单纯倔强的生活气息，让易先生在死亡的阴影中感觉生命微弱的喜悦。 王佳芝在日占区里给易先生俏皮地表演，易先生流下眼泪—这时刻里只是人与人之间最单纯的信任，像初生的婴儿，让人喜欢又怕它夭折而不敢久留。但人总是贪心，贪那一刻的欢喜，所以易先生会买戒指，所以王佳芝会选择让他走，都因为以为那温暖可以再驻久一些。
但我们大部分人，都好像是易先生或者邝裕民，都是对自己残忍的人，觉得那些个阵营，那些个事业，那些个主义，比我们自己更加重要。 连我们自己的生命和快乐都抵不过主义们重要，那么别人的就更不值了。 易先生没二话地签了王佳芝的死刑，我想，不是因为男人不如女人长情，而是因为很少有人会像王佳芝一样对生活有那样单纯热烈的喜爱。
我已经用了无数个“单纯”在这文章里。 我找不到更好的词。我个人认为，这部电影的一个主线，就是讲生命的单纯企图，在社会的洪流中，永远都是被牺牲掉，吞噬掉的。而且常常，去吞噬这单纯的，包括我们自己。 在看到片中这群单纯的学生笨拙地初次杀人的时候，我泪流满面。 那里的每一个人，包括有野心的邝裕民，我都可能是。我可能比他们下手更狠。这是多么心惊的感念，走上一条不归路，居然那么容易。 在这里，正义是复仇者美丽的借口，爱国主义是政客的印钞机；兴，亡，百姓都苦，那么就做别人的棋子和鱼肉吧—已经是棋子了，还在乎哪只手把你从A移到B么？已经是鱼肉了，还在乎斩你的刀是什么牌子么？ 爱国主义，卖国主义，素食主义，裸体主义，随便叫什么好了，跟我们有什么关系么？
李安这部电影，是一部伟大的电影。是传世而永垂不朽的。 一个人一个色戒。有人说这电影西人不懂，中国人也不懂。我想，中国人今天看不懂，明天可以看懂。我们看不懂，未来的人可以看懂。 而至于西人不懂，除了电影本来就不是每个人都懂或懂得一样这个原因外，片中对话繁多，要分心看字幕，可能影响欣赏—这大概是这片子唯一的遗憾。
ZT: 张爱玲痛惜女人，李安偏爱男人
送交者: 天婴 2007年10月08日21:01:07 于 [茗香茶语]http://www.bbsland.com
http://bbs2.creaders.net/tea/messages/1511746.html
终于看了李安的《色戒》，虽然说李安的《色戒》拍得近乎完美，因为先读过N遍张爱玲小说的缘故，我还是要说，李安基本上是颠覆了张爱玲的原著。张爱玲痛惜女人，写出王佳芝的悲剧。李安偏爱男人，拍出王佳芝和易先生的爱情。
张爱玲说易先生和王佳芝的关系是“猎人和猎物”的关系。最后，易先生不但获得了猎物，而且对王佳芝更是完全地从精神到肉体丝毫不剩地占有。王佳芝“生是他的人，死是他的鬼”。即使，王佳芝死了，他还是完完全全地拥有她，她这一辈子就是他的。这就是张爱玲笔下王佳芝的悲凉，那种绝望和无奈是终极的，王佳芝命中注定今生来世只能成为易先生桌上的大餐。
李安《色戒》里的易先生和王佳芝的关系是从“敌人”到“恋人”的关系，是彼此因为“爱"而“恨”。王佳芝不但是“情到深处人孤独”，而且，易先生也为佳人挂心忧伤。最后，易先生亲手下令杀了王佳芝后，李安还给了一个唯美的结局∶易先生独自回到王佳芝住过的房间，坐在他曾和王佳芝激情荡漾的床上，暗自神伤，痛不于绝……。
李安的《色戒》不同于张爱玲的《色戒》。王佳芝的命运从张爱玲的绝望，无助，无奈，悲凉，转成李安的王佳芝的命运——王佳芝和她初恋的情人，死在她所爱的人手里。在李安的镜头下，王佳芝的一生精彩浪漫——一个女人死在自己所爱的人手里，有初恋的情人陪葬，真是没白活啊！呵呵。
《色戒》里的女人
http://bbs2.creaders.net/tea/messages/1510628.html
送交者: 天婴 2007年10月03日19:28:22 于 [茗香茶语]http://www.bbsland.com
知道和开始读《色戒》是因为听说李安要拍《色戒》。现在，李安的电影都得奖了，我读的《色戒》还没太理出个足以能说服自己的清晰的头绪。但是，我不能不同意李安所讲：张爱玲这一篇小说是小说中的精品，是“洗尽铅华”之作。可是，我对李安改写和拍《色戒》没有太大的信心，不是怀疑李安的水平，而是单单因为李安是男人的缘故。因为，张爱玲的《色戒》是写女人，而且是从女人的角度写女人。所以，也许让一个女人来拍，来猜，会更接近张爱玲想表达的意思。
张爱玲在《谈女人》中说：“对于大多数的女人，“爱”的意思就是“被爱”，“女人品评男子，仅仅以他对她的待遇为依归”，“女人一辈子讲的是男人，念的是男人，怨的是男人，永远永远”。每多读一遍张爱玲的《色戒》，就会觉得《色戒》实在是在写女人的这种不幸。王佳芝和易太太之间，易太太和马太太，廖太太，易太太和所有的和易先生有过一腿的女人之间，看得见的和看不见的较量，都是围绕谁能成为最终的赢家。最终赢得一个不值得去爱，对女人没有任何承诺的男人——易先生。
起初，王佳芝以为自己是一个不同与一般女人的女人，是那种可以在理想和男人之间毅然决然地选择理想的女人。但是，她最终还是跳不出“情”的陷阱。尽管，她知道易先生是一个“需要提溜着两只乳房在他眼前晃”才能钉的住的男人，尽管她到最后也不明白对易先生到底是恨还是爱，她还是完全无可救药地为情丧志，不顾一切，就是搭上命也要占有那一份自己想象的模糊的情。
在《色戒》中，和王佳芝相比，易太太可谓是“麻婆老豆腐”，越炖越有味道。易太太不但对男人的本性了如指掌，而且对女人的小九九也如数家珍。所以，她并不太在乎易先生如何在她眼皮底下寻花问柳。她比谁都明白，世上肯为美人舍江山的男人纯属是女人的幻想。所以，对她来讲，与其让男人来直接爱，还不如让女人嫉妒后再引起男人的注意过瘾。
《色戒》好像讲的是爱国青年爱上了汉奸的悲剧。其实，看来看去都觉得有一种看007的味道。王佳芝和 007里所有的女间谍一样，在关键时刻“软”下来都是被“情”所驶。而易先生和007的异曲同工之处在于，他们永远清楚地知道女人只是为满足他们的肉欲。不幸的是，这是王佳芝这类女人永远也不愿意承认的事实。
与其说《色戒》是张爱玲的自传体小说，不如说《色戒》是王佳芝式女人的挽歌：“男女间根本没有爱，欲望如火，人便是扑火的蛾”。
http://bbs2.creaders.net/tea/messages/1511746.html
终于看了李安的《色戒》，虽然说李安的《色戒》拍得近乎完美，因为先读过N遍张爱玲小说的缘故，我还是要说，李安基本上是颠覆了张爱玲的原著。张爱玲痛惜女人，写出王佳芝的悲剧。李安偏爱男人，拍出王佳芝和易先生的爱情。
张爱玲说易先生和王佳芝的关系是“猎人和猎物”的关系。最后，易先生不但获得了猎物，而且对王佳芝更是完全地从精神到肉体丝毫不剩地占有。王佳芝“生是他的人，死是他的鬼”。即使，王佳芝死了，他还是完完全全地拥有她，她这一辈子就是他的。这就是张爱玲笔下王佳芝的悲凉，那种绝望和无奈是终极的，王佳芝命中注定今生来世只能成为易先生桌上的大餐。
李安《色戒》里的易先生和王佳芝的关系是从“敌人”到“恋人”的关系，是彼此因为“爱"而“恨”。王佳芝不但是“情到深处人孤独”，而且，易先生也为佳人挂心忧伤。最后，易先生亲手下令杀了王佳芝后，李安还给了一个唯美的结局∶易先生独自回到王佳芝住过的房间，坐在他曾和王佳芝激情荡漾的床上，暗自神伤，痛不于绝……。
李安的《色戒》不同于张爱玲的《色戒》。王佳芝的命运从张爱玲的绝望，无助，无奈，悲凉，转成李安的王佳芝的命运——王佳芝和她初恋的情人，死在她所爱的人手里。在李安的镜头下，王佳芝的一生精彩浪漫——一个女人死在自己所爱的人手里，有初恋的情人陪葬，真是没白活啊！呵呵。
《色戒》里的女人
http://bbs2.creaders.net/tea/messages/1510628.html
送交者: 天婴 2007年10月03日19:28:22 于 [茗香茶语]http://www.bbsland.com
知道和开始读《色戒》是因为听说李安要拍《色戒》。现在，李安的电影都得奖了，我读的《色戒》还没太理出个足以能说服自己的清晰的头绪。但是，我不能不同意李安所讲：张爱玲这一篇小说是小说中的精品，是“洗尽铅华”之作。可是，我对李安改写和拍《色戒》没有太大的信心，不是怀疑李安的水平，而是单单因为李安是男人的缘故。因为，张爱玲的《色戒》是写女人，而且是从女人的角度写女人。所以，也许让一个女人来拍，来猜，会更接近张爱玲想表达的意思。
张爱玲在《谈女人》中说：“对于大多数的女人，“爱”的意思就是“被爱”，“女人品评男子，仅仅以他对她的待遇为依归”，“女人一辈子讲的是男人，念的是男人，怨的是男人，永远永远”。每多读一遍张爱玲的《色戒》，就会觉得《色戒》实在是在写女人的这种不幸。王佳芝和易太太之间，易太太和马太太，廖太太，易太太和所有的和易先生有过一腿的女人之间，看得见的和看不见的较量，都是围绕谁能成为最终的赢家。最终赢得一个不值得去爱，对女人没有任何承诺的男人——易先生。
起初，王佳芝以为自己是一个不同与一般女人的女人，是那种可以在理想和男人之间毅然决然地选择理想的女人。但是，她最终还是跳不出“情”的陷阱。尽管，她知道易先生是一个“需要提溜着两只乳房在他眼前晃”才能钉的住的男人，尽管她到最后也不明白对易先生到底是恨还是爱，她还是完全无可救药地为情丧志，不顾一切，就是搭上命也要占有那一份自己想象的模糊的情。
在《色戒》中，和王佳芝相比，易太太可谓是“麻婆老豆腐”，越炖越有味道。易太太不但对男人的本性了如指掌，而且对女人的小九九也如数家珍。所以，她并不太在乎易先生如何在她眼皮底下寻花问柳。她比谁都明白，世上肯为美人舍江山的男人纯属是女人的幻想。所以，对她来讲，与其让男人来直接爱，还不如让女人嫉妒后再引起男人的注意过瘾。
《色戒》好像讲的是爱国青年爱上了汉奸的悲剧。其实，看来看去都觉得有一种看007的味道。王佳芝和 007里所有的女间谍一样，在关键时刻“软”下来都是被“情”所驶。而易先生和007的异曲同工之处在于，他们永远清楚地知道女人只是为满足他们的肉欲。不幸的是，这是王佳芝这类女人永远也不愿意承认的事实。
与其说《色戒》是张爱玲的自传体小说，不如说《色戒》是王佳芝式女人的挽歌：“男女间根本没有爱，欲望如火，人便是扑火的蛾”。
Saturday, October 6, 2007
ZT: 如何教育出一个父母理想中的孩子？
http://bbs2.creaders.net/life/messages/798927.html
送交者: 老秃笔 2007年10月05日21:57:21 于 [五味斋]http://www.bbsland.com
长周末到了。喝些啤酒，手就痒痒了。打打字消消食吧。
这次借酒壮胆给这里年轻的父母们传授一个秘诀：如何培养出一个父母理想中的孩子。
对了，您没看错。如何让孩子按照自己的理想模式长大。
那你说了，你这口气也忒大了。那么多中国孩子上名校，不说别的地方出身的孩子们，就只说中国大陆出生的孩子们，这上美国几大名校的就不知有多少了。出来赚大钱，做大事，成名立业的多了去了。你那个儿子不过才上几个月麻州技校而已。就这点破事儿，你就码了几乎半部红楼梦了。有那么多可说的吗？
嘿嘿，你还别急。我知道中国人家里的孩子上名校的成千上万黑压压的一大群。不信，你去扭腰中国城里，随便找个人踢一脚，那挨踢的说不定就是个名校毕业的，或者家里有人是名校毕业的，再不然他也一定会认识个名校毕业的。扭腰城里的中国饭馆里，抡炒勺的，跑堂的，随便一问也不少国内名校出来的。
我可也早说了，我只是拿儿子上学作为个话题开吹侃山。不管别人家父母如何低调，蒙着脑袋偷着乐，我反正是准备弄个聊斋今解之类的长篇连续剧，一直要写到儿子上完大学才歇气儿。这样，也说不定中间就露出些什么真经让有心的年轻父母跟着学一把，也可能让有心的人挑些刺儿，出来砸我几句。不过，正反我都达到目的：找机会码字砌墙。
说不定儿子四年毕业后，老子也成了作家了呢。那岂不是光棍儿娶进个大肚子的老婆----一举两得嘛。
我平常难得正经，这次我要说得还真的是我的育儿经验。
说白了，就是如何让儿子听你的。
儿子小时候，很爱学习。这全得福于奶奶在北京给养育出的好习惯：每天早上晚上必定看书。到时候，吃完喝完玩完，小家伙自己就会安静坐下来找书看了。这个好习惯，真的让儿子得益终身。他从小读书，就没让我们费过一丝心思。后来儿子大些了，看到我的各种破书不少。也时常到我的屋子里翻翻。有次，儿子说，我长大了也好好读书作教授。这句话当时听得我心里很舒服。嗯，我这儿子志向满大嘛。祖坟上冒清烟，孺子可教也！！
不过，我马上就想到了另一个问题。这教书作教授是个比较枯燥的苦哈哈的差事儿。一辈子看不完的书，改不完的作业。还有埋头出文章出书，不然正教授，终身职业拿不到就得卷铺盖走人。看看学校里那些年轻教授的悲糁样子。一天到晚在学校泡着，尤其文科的中青年教授们，穷的稀里哗啦的。各种压力大得让人受不了。那不是一个工作，那是24小时三百六十五天的头痛啊。
幸亏我早看出教授的苦楚，没有一门心思想作教授，不然，我恐怕早就阳痿了。而且，虽然教书育人比较光荣高尚，这职业毕竟太清淡了。学校教授开的车子，大多是日本美国的大众车种。有很多秘书开的车子倒是名车。
教授这个职业，有荣耀没油水，有压力没前途。许多文科教授一辈子码出两三本破书，除了本专业的人群翻翻，出了校门就没人知道了。再过几年，连本专业的年轻人都忘了。所以，除非你真正喜欢教书作研究讲课，不然，作教授对于我这种俗人来说，就是个苦差事。学文科的，除了学校之外，也就是政府里混混。
我个人经历可说是荒废多年青春，一无所成。现在想起来，还忍不住掉几滴眼泪呢。有我这个前车之鉴，我决不能让我儿子重复我所走过的路子。
所以，我下定决心，不让我儿子作教授搞研究。 他最好作高级工程师，集资做生意发明产品。等小子有了钱，他再愿意做什么就做什么。也为时不晚嘛。
我这么多年一直跟他说，上学出来发明产品，做生意，自己搞公司。几年就赚出人家一辈子的钱。作教授，整天授课，看书，批改作业，钻实验室，有什么乐趣啊？
看来，我这种平常唠叨的办法也真是有种潜移默化的效力。慢慢地，儿子开始也附和我的牛论。高中时候，他多次说，你要是这辈子作教授，你就是个loser. 我问他大学毕业做什么，他说，先给别人工作取得经验，再自己想法。即便给别人做，也要做个管理阶层的工程师。
我时常用儿子认识的一个隐居的企业家做榜样鼓励他早晚也作到人家那一步天地。这个隐居的企业家其实岁数不太大。他早年只上了大专，出来做底层技工。可是他发明了电脑的modem，和一个生意伙伴成立公司。由于时机抓住了，十年不到公司生意做到2个亿。他马上把他的股份卖给他的合伙人。对方提出较高数额分年付清。他不接受，坚决要求一次付清，宁可少拿。这步棋真的走对了。那个合伙人成为独资老板，不可一世。有更大的公司要买走他的公司，他就是不卖。结果，三年内，同类产品被别人开发出来，加上一系列的失误决策。这个公司亏损累累难以为继。那个独资老板最后一文不名，宣布破产了事。而这位慧眼出局者，则在亚城的北部富裕区里拥有一座几十亩大的庄园，过着俭朴可优哉游哉的生活。他有一座两层楼作为工艺室。一楼有车床，冼床，刨床，钻床，全部数字化。二楼是木工车间。大院子里，大型卫星天线可以接受各种卫星数据。十来亩大的私人湖内游动着野鸭群。坐在湖边上的木厅内，看着湖里的草鱼，鸭子，那个心静呵。
儿子去过很多次。每次去，我都叮嘱他，看看人家老头的成就，你就知道实业道路潜力无穷啊。你得树立雄心大志，做老头式的美国英雄。我和儿子出去，看到什么，就说个概念，让儿子看能不能发明什么东西。说来可能大家不信，多年前，儿子和我就说，应该发明个机器人遥控吸地。不过，几年前，儿子认真算了各种零件成本后说，可能要几百元一部呢。不太现实。我们不久前看到市场上已有了这种产品，ramba. 三百元一部。
高中最后两年，他一直说要赶快上学创业，不学什么博士。被麻州技校录取后，连续想到了几个小产品。虽然现在一切还如空中楼阁，但我的目的达到了。这就是，让我儿子对创业感兴趣。
从儿子的兴趣转换，到他脑子里创业观念的形成，这中间，我就是不停地给他说。所以，他基本上被我洗脑了。毛爷有句名言，一张白纸，好画最新最美的图画。嘿嘿，毛爷说什么都它姥姥的对呵。如果我当年给儿子唠叨作教授的话，今天他可能一门心思要去作教授呢。可是，老爸还是比他多活了几十年，不声不响地给他指了路。
嘿嘿，长话短说，各位年轻父母们，你总给孩子唠叨什么，他就真信什么。不然，你看那些信教家庭里的孩子们，个个真信，还信一辈子。这没有什么诀窍，就是父母不停地给他们说教。这个人生塑造过程，父母还是有很大影响，还是用些心思吧。
我主张，把鸟笼做大，让孩子在你的无形影响下成长。
最后跟墩子套句近乎：你那老大，我就不多嘴了。太晚了嘛。 你那老二，赶紧照我的方儿抓药吧。 还有，你要。。。。。。。。。。。。。。待续。
送交者: 老秃笔 2007年10月05日21:57:21 于 [五味斋]http://www.bbsland.com
长周末到了。喝些啤酒，手就痒痒了。打打字消消食吧。
这次借酒壮胆给这里年轻的父母们传授一个秘诀：如何培养出一个父母理想中的孩子。
对了，您没看错。如何让孩子按照自己的理想模式长大。
那你说了，你这口气也忒大了。那么多中国孩子上名校，不说别的地方出身的孩子们，就只说中国大陆出生的孩子们，这上美国几大名校的就不知有多少了。出来赚大钱，做大事，成名立业的多了去了。你那个儿子不过才上几个月麻州技校而已。就这点破事儿，你就码了几乎半部红楼梦了。有那么多可说的吗？
嘿嘿，你还别急。我知道中国人家里的孩子上名校的成千上万黑压压的一大群。不信，你去扭腰中国城里，随便找个人踢一脚，那挨踢的说不定就是个名校毕业的，或者家里有人是名校毕业的，再不然他也一定会认识个名校毕业的。扭腰城里的中国饭馆里，抡炒勺的，跑堂的，随便一问也不少国内名校出来的。
我可也早说了，我只是拿儿子上学作为个话题开吹侃山。不管别人家父母如何低调，蒙着脑袋偷着乐，我反正是准备弄个聊斋今解之类的长篇连续剧，一直要写到儿子上完大学才歇气儿。这样，也说不定中间就露出些什么真经让有心的年轻父母跟着学一把，也可能让有心的人挑些刺儿，出来砸我几句。不过，正反我都达到目的：找机会码字砌墙。
说不定儿子四年毕业后，老子也成了作家了呢。那岂不是光棍儿娶进个大肚子的老婆----一举两得嘛。
我平常难得正经，这次我要说得还真的是我的育儿经验。
说白了，就是如何让儿子听你的。
儿子小时候，很爱学习。这全得福于奶奶在北京给养育出的好习惯：每天早上晚上必定看书。到时候，吃完喝完玩完，小家伙自己就会安静坐下来找书看了。这个好习惯，真的让儿子得益终身。他从小读书，就没让我们费过一丝心思。后来儿子大些了，看到我的各种破书不少。也时常到我的屋子里翻翻。有次，儿子说，我长大了也好好读书作教授。这句话当时听得我心里很舒服。嗯，我这儿子志向满大嘛。祖坟上冒清烟，孺子可教也！！
不过，我马上就想到了另一个问题。这教书作教授是个比较枯燥的苦哈哈的差事儿。一辈子看不完的书，改不完的作业。还有埋头出文章出书，不然正教授，终身职业拿不到就得卷铺盖走人。看看学校里那些年轻教授的悲糁样子。一天到晚在学校泡着，尤其文科的中青年教授们，穷的稀里哗啦的。各种压力大得让人受不了。那不是一个工作，那是24小时三百六十五天的头痛啊。
幸亏我早看出教授的苦楚，没有一门心思想作教授，不然，我恐怕早就阳痿了。而且，虽然教书育人比较光荣高尚，这职业毕竟太清淡了。学校教授开的车子，大多是日本美国的大众车种。有很多秘书开的车子倒是名车。
教授这个职业，有荣耀没油水，有压力没前途。许多文科教授一辈子码出两三本破书，除了本专业的人群翻翻，出了校门就没人知道了。再过几年，连本专业的年轻人都忘了。所以，除非你真正喜欢教书作研究讲课，不然，作教授对于我这种俗人来说，就是个苦差事。学文科的，除了学校之外，也就是政府里混混。
我个人经历可说是荒废多年青春，一无所成。现在想起来，还忍不住掉几滴眼泪呢。有我这个前车之鉴，我决不能让我儿子重复我所走过的路子。
所以，我下定决心，不让我儿子作教授搞研究。 他最好作高级工程师，集资做生意发明产品。等小子有了钱，他再愿意做什么就做什么。也为时不晚嘛。
我这么多年一直跟他说，上学出来发明产品，做生意，自己搞公司。几年就赚出人家一辈子的钱。作教授，整天授课，看书，批改作业，钻实验室，有什么乐趣啊？
看来，我这种平常唠叨的办法也真是有种潜移默化的效力。慢慢地，儿子开始也附和我的牛论。高中时候，他多次说，你要是这辈子作教授，你就是个loser. 我问他大学毕业做什么，他说，先给别人工作取得经验，再自己想法。即便给别人做，也要做个管理阶层的工程师。
我时常用儿子认识的一个隐居的企业家做榜样鼓励他早晚也作到人家那一步天地。这个隐居的企业家其实岁数不太大。他早年只上了大专，出来做底层技工。可是他发明了电脑的modem，和一个生意伙伴成立公司。由于时机抓住了，十年不到公司生意做到2个亿。他马上把他的股份卖给他的合伙人。对方提出较高数额分年付清。他不接受，坚决要求一次付清，宁可少拿。这步棋真的走对了。那个合伙人成为独资老板，不可一世。有更大的公司要买走他的公司，他就是不卖。结果，三年内，同类产品被别人开发出来，加上一系列的失误决策。这个公司亏损累累难以为继。那个独资老板最后一文不名，宣布破产了事。而这位慧眼出局者，则在亚城的北部富裕区里拥有一座几十亩大的庄园，过着俭朴可优哉游哉的生活。他有一座两层楼作为工艺室。一楼有车床，冼床，刨床，钻床，全部数字化。二楼是木工车间。大院子里，大型卫星天线可以接受各种卫星数据。十来亩大的私人湖内游动着野鸭群。坐在湖边上的木厅内，看着湖里的草鱼，鸭子，那个心静呵。
儿子去过很多次。每次去，我都叮嘱他，看看人家老头的成就，你就知道实业道路潜力无穷啊。你得树立雄心大志，做老头式的美国英雄。我和儿子出去，看到什么，就说个概念，让儿子看能不能发明什么东西。说来可能大家不信，多年前，儿子和我就说，应该发明个机器人遥控吸地。不过，几年前，儿子认真算了各种零件成本后说，可能要几百元一部呢。不太现实。我们不久前看到市场上已有了这种产品，ramba. 三百元一部。
高中最后两年，他一直说要赶快上学创业，不学什么博士。被麻州技校录取后，连续想到了几个小产品。虽然现在一切还如空中楼阁，但我的目的达到了。这就是，让我儿子对创业感兴趣。
从儿子的兴趣转换，到他脑子里创业观念的形成，这中间，我就是不停地给他说。所以，他基本上被我洗脑了。毛爷有句名言，一张白纸，好画最新最美的图画。嘿嘿，毛爷说什么都它姥姥的对呵。如果我当年给儿子唠叨作教授的话，今天他可能一门心思要去作教授呢。可是，老爸还是比他多活了几十年，不声不响地给他指了路。
嘿嘿，长话短说，各位年轻父母们，你总给孩子唠叨什么，他就真信什么。不然，你看那些信教家庭里的孩子们，个个真信，还信一辈子。这没有什么诀窍，就是父母不停地给他们说教。这个人生塑造过程，父母还是有很大影响，还是用些心思吧。
我主张，把鸟笼做大，让孩子在你的无形影响下成长。
最后跟墩子套句近乎：你那老大，我就不多嘴了。太晚了嘛。 你那老二，赶紧照我的方儿抓药吧。 还有，你要。。。。。。。。。。。。。。待续。
ZT: 回国奇遇：一个上海父亲对女儿的期盼
送交者: MIKE 2007年10月03日22:32:44 于 [儿童成长]http://www.bbsland.com
上个月到上海时坐了辆强生出租，一路上感觉司机好像蛮犯困的。问他今天是不是累了，他说年纪大了，做司机开始有点吃勿消了。我说那出租合同做完就别做了吧，确实蛮辛苦的。司机大叔说家里都靠他一个人吃饭的，女儿在读大学，学费很高的。我问学什么的？他说学表演的。我说上戏？那蛮好的么，总有前途的。他说不是的，是张江的电影学校，学费一年要2万多，加上生活费等一年3万出头。
我说那你蛮吃力的。他说熬几年女儿毕业了就好了。我说希望你女儿能体谅你苦心，好好学。听说张江的那个学校有点乱，你女儿不要学坏了。
他说阿拉囡儿我不用担心的。人老聪明的，老会看人的。一般家里没有什么立升的穷同学她不会去交往的。她现在的几个好朋友都是家里有花头的。伊一搭脉就晓得对方有没有花头了。他说阿拉囡儿老拎的清的，对我说：老爸，和层次低的人一起白相就是浪费生命。
又说，阿拉女儿的相貌我满自信的。大老板找不到么，几千万的小老板应该没问题的。过两年我就享清福了。这几年苦一点，要供伊学费，还要供伊白相。不过阿拉女儿说过了，以后总要给我们买别墅的。
正宗上海人，说这些话的时候感觉还蛮得意有这么一个女儿的。庆幸女儿长得好，以后有资本。估计张江的那个电影学校里的小火尧都是这个想法。
下车忘了要发票。我真想让什么媒体采访一下这个父亲，真是蛮神奇的。
上个月到上海时坐了辆强生出租，一路上感觉司机好像蛮犯困的。问他今天是不是累了，他说年纪大了，做司机开始有点吃勿消了。我说那出租合同做完就别做了吧，确实蛮辛苦的。司机大叔说家里都靠他一个人吃饭的，女儿在读大学，学费很高的。我问学什么的？他说学表演的。我说上戏？那蛮好的么，总有前途的。他说不是的，是张江的电影学校，学费一年要2万多，加上生活费等一年3万出头。
我说那你蛮吃力的。他说熬几年女儿毕业了就好了。我说希望你女儿能体谅你苦心，好好学。听说张江的那个学校有点乱，你女儿不要学坏了。
他说阿拉囡儿我不用担心的。人老聪明的，老会看人的。一般家里没有什么立升的穷同学她不会去交往的。她现在的几个好朋友都是家里有花头的。伊一搭脉就晓得对方有没有花头了。他说阿拉囡儿老拎的清的，对我说：老爸，和层次低的人一起白相就是浪费生命。
又说，阿拉女儿的相貌我满自信的。大老板找不到么，几千万的小老板应该没问题的。过两年我就享清福了。这几年苦一点，要供伊学费，还要供伊白相。不过阿拉女儿说过了，以后总要给我们买别墅的。
正宗上海人，说这些话的时候感觉还蛮得意有这么一个女儿的。庆幸女儿长得好，以后有资本。估计张江的那个电影学校里的小火尧都是这个想法。
下车忘了要发票。我真想让什么媒体采访一下这个父亲，真是蛮神奇的。
ZT: 宝贝女儿在长大
http://bbs2.creaders.net/child/messages/155742.html
送交者: NoWorry 2007年10月05日09:47:08 于 [儿童成长]http://www.bbsland.com
今天是宝贝女儿美美十一岁生日，愿爸爸妈妈的宝贝快乐。
记得美美刚刚出生， 一位要好的朋友开玩笑地说， 看人家无忧就是伟大，连生孩子都那么伟大，那么美妙。 美美的生日左一左是中华人民共和国的生日， 右一右是中华民国的生日，国共两党， 两个政府， 举国上下同庆贺， 神州大地齐欢呼，祖国各地人民沉浸在万分喜悦之中。
是的， 美美长的健美，聪颖，大气， 贵气， 秀气. 给爸爸妈妈带来无限的欢乐和幸福。 每当爸爸妈妈带着美美还有秀丽， 伶俐， 顽皮的梦梦走在外面， 人们时不时地羡慕着无忧有着这么两个健康，美丽， 聪颖， 可爱的天使， 无忧心里是那个的美滋滋。
无忧来美十年一直不想留在美国， 一直想回到祖国的怀抱， 一直做着第六代革命领袖，现代皇帝的美梦。美美的来到让无忧深深地感到什么祖国？ 什么皇帝？一概不能和无忧的小美国比拟， 不能与无忧的两个宝贝女儿美美梦梦比拟。从此， 无忧铁下心来，从新做起那美丽的美国之梦。
如今美美天天在长高， 日日在变大， 让爸爸妈妈感到无限的欣慰。就在半年前， 小学的美美还是那么的无所用心， 如今确实那么的懂事要强。
小学五年，美美尝试了跳舞， 滑冰， 弹琴， 游泳，可以说是学什么， 什么行，尤其是现在两相还再学习的钢琴， 游泳更是没话可说， 根本不用爸爸妈妈督促操心， 自己就是那么自觉认真快乐的学习操练着。 可不知为什么,就是不是今天欢蹦乱跳地给爸爸妈妈带来一个考试 D, 就是明天兴高采烈地给爸爸妈妈拿来个考试 F, 要不就是后天趾高气扬地给爸爸妈妈稍来一封学校老师校长的邀请信， 商讨如何提高美美的学习。弄得爸爸妈妈啼笑皆非，莫名其妙，有时无地自容。 爸爸小时伶俐， 妈妈小时聪颖， 怎么我们的宝宝美美会是这样的学习呢？搞得无忧的爸爸也担忧， 才女的妈妈也无奈。
说来也怪， 自从上了中学， 美美突然好像长大了好多， 让爸爸妈妈这样的惊喜。 有一天， 美美突然跟爸爸说她不要吃说指了，为了不吃手指，睡觉时，还自己用索料袋把手指给绑起来， 从此， 还就真的不吃手指了， 了却爸爸妈妈的一大块心病。一次在回家的路上， 美美信心十足的给爸爸讲， 她想将来进哈副，她长大了要当电影演员， 要当歌星，从而要当亿万富人， 要为穷苦人家做善事， 要为爸爸妈妈买个别墅， 要帮助妹妹也富有，等等，听的爸爸妈妈这个的美呀。
还别说， 爸爸的美美不亏为是无忧的宝贝美美，说到做到，每天自己都有个要做事单子， 逐个检查施行。自从上了中学，每天按时做作业， 练习钢琴，看半个小时的电视，玩半个小时的游戏，准时九点半上床睡觉。每天六点半自己起床， 把自己打扮的干干净净， 漂漂亮亮，高高兴兴， 自己走路等校车，课堂上认真听课， 回答问题，体育课上积极锻炼，还自己参加了唱歌俱乐部。同学老师人人喜欢， 很快就较了好多新朋友，每次小考都是A。
有一天， 美美跟妈妈说明天她要妈妈开车送她提前到学校， 她要找一个老师，跟那个老师约好， 谈谈她那次考试为什么得了 C。 是否可以再考一次， 老师还真的答应了。让爸爸妈妈无比的自豪， 爸爸妈妈的宝贝刚刚十岁确实如此，怎不让爸爸妈妈骄傲?
爸爸妈妈的宝贝, 其实， 爸爸妈妈不是那么在乎你是 A学生， B学生， 还是C学生， 也不那么在乎你将来进哈副， 还是副哈， 更不在乎你将来是亿万富人， 根本没有企盼你将来给爸爸妈妈买个别墅，爸爸妈妈就希望你现在这样有抱负， 有想法， 有胆量， 有意志，有善心， 有责任， 有性格，永远健康快乐，积极向上， 充满阳光。
因为现在的你已经告诉爸爸妈妈， 你一定是爸爸妈妈的好宝贝。美美, 你是爸爸妈妈的大宝贝， 小宝贝， 香宝贝， 臭宝贝, 爸爸妈妈永远的宝贝。
爸爸妈妈的宝贝生日快乐！
写在美美十一岁生日的那时那刻。
送交者: NoWorry 2007年10月05日09:47:08 于 [儿童成长]http://www.bbsland.com
今天是宝贝女儿美美十一岁生日，愿爸爸妈妈的宝贝快乐。
记得美美刚刚出生， 一位要好的朋友开玩笑地说， 看人家无忧就是伟大，连生孩子都那么伟大，那么美妙。 美美的生日左一左是中华人民共和国的生日， 右一右是中华民国的生日，国共两党， 两个政府， 举国上下同庆贺， 神州大地齐欢呼，祖国各地人民沉浸在万分喜悦之中。
是的， 美美长的健美，聪颖，大气， 贵气， 秀气. 给爸爸妈妈带来无限的欢乐和幸福。 每当爸爸妈妈带着美美还有秀丽， 伶俐， 顽皮的梦梦走在外面， 人们时不时地羡慕着无忧有着这么两个健康，美丽， 聪颖， 可爱的天使， 无忧心里是那个的美滋滋。
无忧来美十年一直不想留在美国， 一直想回到祖国的怀抱， 一直做着第六代革命领袖，现代皇帝的美梦。美美的来到让无忧深深地感到什么祖国？ 什么皇帝？一概不能和无忧的小美国比拟， 不能与无忧的两个宝贝女儿美美梦梦比拟。从此， 无忧铁下心来，从新做起那美丽的美国之梦。
如今美美天天在长高， 日日在变大， 让爸爸妈妈感到无限的欣慰。就在半年前， 小学的美美还是那么的无所用心， 如今确实那么的懂事要强。
小学五年，美美尝试了跳舞， 滑冰， 弹琴， 游泳，可以说是学什么， 什么行，尤其是现在两相还再学习的钢琴， 游泳更是没话可说， 根本不用爸爸妈妈督促操心， 自己就是那么自觉认真快乐的学习操练着。 可不知为什么,就是不是今天欢蹦乱跳地给爸爸妈妈带来一个考试 D, 就是明天兴高采烈地给爸爸妈妈拿来个考试 F, 要不就是后天趾高气扬地给爸爸妈妈稍来一封学校老师校长的邀请信， 商讨如何提高美美的学习。弄得爸爸妈妈啼笑皆非，莫名其妙，有时无地自容。 爸爸小时伶俐， 妈妈小时聪颖， 怎么我们的宝宝美美会是这样的学习呢？搞得无忧的爸爸也担忧， 才女的妈妈也无奈。
说来也怪， 自从上了中学， 美美突然好像长大了好多， 让爸爸妈妈这样的惊喜。 有一天， 美美突然跟爸爸说她不要吃说指了，为了不吃手指，睡觉时，还自己用索料袋把手指给绑起来， 从此， 还就真的不吃手指了， 了却爸爸妈妈的一大块心病。一次在回家的路上， 美美信心十足的给爸爸讲， 她想将来进哈副，她长大了要当电影演员， 要当歌星，从而要当亿万富人， 要为穷苦人家做善事， 要为爸爸妈妈买个别墅， 要帮助妹妹也富有，等等，听的爸爸妈妈这个的美呀。
还别说， 爸爸的美美不亏为是无忧的宝贝美美，说到做到，每天自己都有个要做事单子， 逐个检查施行。自从上了中学，每天按时做作业， 练习钢琴，看半个小时的电视，玩半个小时的游戏，准时九点半上床睡觉。每天六点半自己起床， 把自己打扮的干干净净， 漂漂亮亮，高高兴兴， 自己走路等校车，课堂上认真听课， 回答问题，体育课上积极锻炼，还自己参加了唱歌俱乐部。同学老师人人喜欢， 很快就较了好多新朋友，每次小考都是A。
有一天， 美美跟妈妈说明天她要妈妈开车送她提前到学校， 她要找一个老师，跟那个老师约好， 谈谈她那次考试为什么得了 C。 是否可以再考一次， 老师还真的答应了。让爸爸妈妈无比的自豪， 爸爸妈妈的宝贝刚刚十岁确实如此，怎不让爸爸妈妈骄傲?
爸爸妈妈的宝贝, 其实， 爸爸妈妈不是那么在乎你是 A学生， B学生， 还是C学生， 也不那么在乎你将来进哈副， 还是副哈， 更不在乎你将来是亿万富人， 根本没有企盼你将来给爸爸妈妈买个别墅，爸爸妈妈就希望你现在这样有抱负， 有想法， 有胆量， 有意志，有善心， 有责任， 有性格，永远健康快乐，积极向上， 充满阳光。
因为现在的你已经告诉爸爸妈妈， 你一定是爸爸妈妈的好宝贝。美美, 你是爸爸妈妈的大宝贝， 小宝贝， 香宝贝， 臭宝贝, 爸爸妈妈永远的宝贝。
爸爸妈妈的宝贝生日快乐！
写在美美十一岁生日的那时那刻。
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
ZT: 8 signs it's time to change jobs before you get fired
http://biz.yahoo.com/hftn/070925/092407_change_jobs_fortune.html?.v=2&.pf=career-work
Tuesday September 25, 12:40 pm ET By Anne Fisher, FORTUNE senior writer
Dear Annie:
For the first time in my (16-year) working life, I dread coming to the office in the morning. It's gotten so bad that I can't sleep Sunday nights, and I think I might be getting an ulcer. Why? I took what I expected would be a great job - at least the pay is great - about a year ago, and since then I've felt more and more out of place.
My boss keeps giving me tasks that an entry-level hire, without half my experience, could do. He has also stopped including me in meetings where important decisions are made about my department's activities. (All my peers are invited.) To top it off, most of my colleagues have been avoiding me ever since an incident a few weeks ago when I questioned a practice that seemed to cheat one of our clients, and I'm starting to think I should have swallowed my ethics and kept quiet.
I don't want to look like a job hopper, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stand working here. What should I do?
-Outcast
Dear Outcast:
Yikes. According to Richard Bayer, Ph.D., chief operating officer of The Five O'Clock Club (www.fiveoclockclub.com), a national career-counseling network based in New York City, you would be smart to leave before you get sacked, or you lose your sanity, or both.
Over the years, Bayer has compiled a list of eight signals that usually mean your job is in jeopardy. "If you've noticed three or more of the warning signs, it's time to update your resume and start job hunting," he says.
From your e-mail, I'd say you are suffering from more than three. Check out the list and see if you agree.
1. You don't fit in. Your values don't match the company's. If your colleagues are "dishonest and focused on getting ahead regardless of legal or moral barriers," Bayer says, it's time to quit before an Enron-style scandal sinks the ship.
2. Your boss doesn't like you and you don't like him or her. If your boss never asks your opinion, and never wants to chat or have lunch with you, and if you disagree with her agenda and dislike her style, your days are numbered. Adds Bayer: "If you've ever done something that undermined your boss, you might as well get out now."
3. Your peers don't like you. Feeling isolated, gossiped about, and excluded from the inner workings of the organization is a very bad sign, as is feeling that you're not part of the team and wouldn't socialize with your colleagues even if they asked you.
4. You don't get assignments that demonstrate the full range of your abilities. "Watching all the good assignments go to others, while you're given the ones that play to your weaknesses or are beneath your professional level, should tell you something," says Bayer. Likewise, if it seems the boss doesn't trust your judgment, you're in trouble.
5. You always get called upon to do the "grunt work." Everybody has to take on a dull or routine task now and then, but if you are constantly being singled out to do the work no one else wants, alarm bells should ring.
6. You are excluded from meetings your peers are invited to. Sound familiar? If it's painfully clear that your ideas aren't valued, why stick around?
7. Everyone on your level has an office. You have a cubicle in the hallway. Bayer notes that, whatever your title, your digs can speak volumes about your real status in the organization. If your peers have offices with windows and you're asked to move into a broom closet - no matter what the official explanation - start cleaning out your desk.
8. You dread going to work and feel like you're developing an ulcer. Ah, here's yet another of your symptoms, and a particularly nasty one at that.
"If the idea of going to the office makes you anxious or physically sick, and you're counting the hours from the time you arrive until the second you can leave, it's time to move on," says Bayer. Do it before you do serious damage to your health, or get so demoralized that you can't be upbeat in job interviews, or both. Once things have deteriorated to this point, being perceived as a job hopper should be the least of your worries. Get out while you still can.
Readers, have you ever quit a job that made you miserable? How did you know it was time to skedaddle? Or have you ever stayed too long and regretted it? Post your thoughts on the Ask Annie blog.
Tuesday September 25, 12:40 pm ET By Anne Fisher, FORTUNE senior writer
Dear Annie:
For the first time in my (16-year) working life, I dread coming to the office in the morning. It's gotten so bad that I can't sleep Sunday nights, and I think I might be getting an ulcer. Why? I took what I expected would be a great job - at least the pay is great - about a year ago, and since then I've felt more and more out of place.
My boss keeps giving me tasks that an entry-level hire, without half my experience, could do. He has also stopped including me in meetings where important decisions are made about my department's activities. (All my peers are invited.) To top it off, most of my colleagues have been avoiding me ever since an incident a few weeks ago when I questioned a practice that seemed to cheat one of our clients, and I'm starting to think I should have swallowed my ethics and kept quiet.
I don't want to look like a job hopper, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stand working here. What should I do?
-Outcast
Dear Outcast:
Yikes. According to Richard Bayer, Ph.D., chief operating officer of The Five O'Clock Club (www.fiveoclockclub.com), a national career-counseling network based in New York City, you would be smart to leave before you get sacked, or you lose your sanity, or both.
Over the years, Bayer has compiled a list of eight signals that usually mean your job is in jeopardy. "If you've noticed three or more of the warning signs, it's time to update your resume and start job hunting," he says.
From your e-mail, I'd say you are suffering from more than three. Check out the list and see if you agree.
1. You don't fit in. Your values don't match the company's. If your colleagues are "dishonest and focused on getting ahead regardless of legal or moral barriers," Bayer says, it's time to quit before an Enron-style scandal sinks the ship.
2. Your boss doesn't like you and you don't like him or her. If your boss never asks your opinion, and never wants to chat or have lunch with you, and if you disagree with her agenda and dislike her style, your days are numbered. Adds Bayer: "If you've ever done something that undermined your boss, you might as well get out now."
3. Your peers don't like you. Feeling isolated, gossiped about, and excluded from the inner workings of the organization is a very bad sign, as is feeling that you're not part of the team and wouldn't socialize with your colleagues even if they asked you.
4. You don't get assignments that demonstrate the full range of your abilities. "Watching all the good assignments go to others, while you're given the ones that play to your weaknesses or are beneath your professional level, should tell you something," says Bayer. Likewise, if it seems the boss doesn't trust your judgment, you're in trouble.
5. You always get called upon to do the "grunt work." Everybody has to take on a dull or routine task now and then, but if you are constantly being singled out to do the work no one else wants, alarm bells should ring.
6. You are excluded from meetings your peers are invited to. Sound familiar? If it's painfully clear that your ideas aren't valued, why stick around?
7. Everyone on your level has an office. You have a cubicle in the hallway. Bayer notes that, whatever your title, your digs can speak volumes about your real status in the organization. If your peers have offices with windows and you're asked to move into a broom closet - no matter what the official explanation - start cleaning out your desk.
8. You dread going to work and feel like you're developing an ulcer. Ah, here's yet another of your symptoms, and a particularly nasty one at that.
"If the idea of going to the office makes you anxious or physically sick, and you're counting the hours from the time you arrive until the second you can leave, it's time to move on," says Bayer. Do it before you do serious damage to your health, or get so demoralized that you can't be upbeat in job interviews, or both. Once things have deteriorated to this point, being perceived as a job hopper should be the least of your worries. Get out while you still can.
Readers, have you ever quit a job that made you miserable? How did you know it was time to skedaddle? Or have you ever stayed too long and regretted it? Post your thoughts on the Ask Annie blog.
Friday, September 21, 2007
ZT: 女生最赚钱的十大职业
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?id=282016
女生最赚钱的十大职业,公关是女生的“传统优势项目”，也是现代社会经济生活中一门高深的学问。在传统上，女生比男生具有更大的公关优势：表达能力、交际能力、协调能力都比男生强而且更富于情感性。
一、 公关
公关是女生的“传统优势项目”，也是现代社会经济生活中一门高深的学问。在传统上，女生
比男生具有更大的公关优势：表达能力、交际能力、协调能力都比男生强而且更富于情感性。在竞争越来越激烈的知识经济时代，在眼球经济时代，公关比任何时候都更重要中高级公关小姐总是在全球各地飞来飞去，为效力的各大公司做专题、组织培训，以至企业战略咨询、与政府的联络等，成为最耀眼的白领女生之一。
二、 人力资源 在国外，没有行政经一职，只有人事经理，专门管理公司的行政事务、人事安排、职工考核培训，建立公司人事制度、利益分配制度等，权利自是一人之下万人之上。国内随着体制改革和经济开发的深入，人力资源的开发和管理越来越受到重视，一个现代企业，最重要的不是资金是否充足，而是是不是有一群有知识有能力并与企业同生共死的员工，而女性所特有的亲和力及号召力使她们更胜任人事经理的工作。
三、 传播媒介 如今可以叫做传媒时代，任何风潮可以在一夜之间传遍世界的每一个角落，因而传媒红人无不红的发紫，从中央电视台“综艺大观”一飞冲天的倪萍，到湖南卫视“快乐大本营”台柱之一的李湘，从由电影下来有操刀电视的第一富婆刘晓庆，到原来效力于传媒后来驾权传媒的杨澜，女生在传媒媒介中始终是一道亮丽养眼的风景线，她们的收入自然是一般人几十辈子也挣不来的。
四、 外企白领 严格说来，外企白领不是一种职业，而是很多种职业的总称，泛指在跨国企业里任中高级职务的人员，她们的言谈举止显示出她们经过了良好的专业培训，中文、洋文随口便来；她们衣级别不同，穿着不同档次的优雅套装，淡装浓抹，进出于高级写字楼；她们的收入是国内一般职员收入的几倍到几十倍，如以人民币计算，月收入应在七八千到数万不等，如果是年薪制则会更高。这一类的代表人物是曾经的吴士宏，她在微软任中国区总经理的时候名利双收，荣获“打工皇后”桂冠，以至于无数少女都以她为榜样，发誓要像她那样出人头地。
五、 注册会计师 这是一个和男生争夺饭碗的行业，目前男女比例大约是一半对一半。虽然女生只占半壁江山，但整个行业的前景非常看好，市场缺口很大。最近几年注册会计师考试统计数字很能说明问题，2001年各科通过考试(及格百分比如下：会计5。7%，审计13。6%，财务9。27%，经济法7。96%，税法6。81%，一次性五科全部通过的比例仅有0。36%，一方面是国家对于注册会计师质量的严格控制，但另一方面也说明注册会计师是不折不扣的“紧销货”。
六、 保险经纪人 同保险代理人一样，保险经纪人代表投保险人购买保险单或介绍保险业务，促使保险合同成立。不同的是，保险代理人代表保险公司与投保人洽谈保险业务，保险经纪人的佣金，一般由保险人即保险公司支付，其主要形式有保险经纪人佣金、招揽佣金、特拥等。美国保险经纪人平均年薪约在20——30万美元，属于高薪收入行业。随着中国加入WTO，保险业将开放，保险经纪人及相应的薪资水平将逐步普遍起来，是女生们大展宏图的好时机。
七、 职业经理人 女生做职业经理人是虎口扒食——这一向是男生的领地。但近年越来越多的女生进入这个行业。职业经理人一生的目标便似乎是在各个大公司里当经理，这里呆不下去。这个行业的女中豪杰里，前面说的吴士宏是一个，格力空调营销总经理董明珠是一个，在一些大的股份制企业里，副总经理的年薪达到50——60万元人民币，部门经理的高层管理人员也可达到30——40万元人民币。 八、 金融银行业 金融银行业在国内算是垄断行业之一，一般职员的薪金在全国平均薪金中高高在上，进入这个行业的门槛很不容易。加入WTO后，垄断打破，国外大量的资金进入，大量的投资人进入，必然带来大量的人才需求，必然拉动行业薪资水平的攀升，据预测，一般骨干员工的年薪在6万元人民币左右，中层管理人才的年薪20——30万人民币，高层管理人才的年薪可达50万人民币以上，甚至冲上100万元人民币大关。
九、 体育明星 男生有体育明星，女生也有体育明星，而且这个行业是少有的河水不犯井水的行业之一。体操、游泳、跳水等是女生历来的热门，并在今后若干年内将继续热门。她们平时的待遇跟男子足球运动员之类比起来尚有一定差距，但一旦拿个什么世界冠军，除了俱乐部的奖金、国家体育总局的奖金十万二十万，还有各种企业赞助和奖励，动辄几十上百万，而随之而来的广告收入让这些奖金简直不值一提——但是，这个行业的不确定性也是最突出的；谁能保证拼老命就一定有出头之日？
十、 影视明星 影视明星大约不需要多说，少男少女们都是最忠实的追星族，明星们长年在国内国外飞来飞去，在各种媒体上唱来跳去，惹红了多少人的眼！她们的显性收入其实不一定算得上最高，但隐性收大约无人能比，像走穴的、逃税的、广告的收入等等，没有人知道她们到底有多少钱，媒体上只有她们的豪宅名车——但这里我要重复一句老话；君子爱财，取之有道——这个行业也有个不确定性的问题：不是“先天资源”好就可以成明星的。
女生最赚钱的十大职业,公关是女生的“传统优势项目”，也是现代社会经济生活中一门高深的学问。在传统上，女生比男生具有更大的公关优势：表达能力、交际能力、协调能力都比男生强而且更富于情感性。
一、 公关
公关是女生的“传统优势项目”，也是现代社会经济生活中一门高深的学问。在传统上，女生
比男生具有更大的公关优势：表达能力、交际能力、协调能力都比男生强而且更富于情感性。在竞争越来越激烈的知识经济时代，在眼球经济时代，公关比任何时候都更重要中高级公关小姐总是在全球各地飞来飞去，为效力的各大公司做专题、组织培训，以至企业战略咨询、与政府的联络等，成为最耀眼的白领女生之一。
二、 人力资源 在国外，没有行政经一职，只有人事经理，专门管理公司的行政事务、人事安排、职工考核培训，建立公司人事制度、利益分配制度等，权利自是一人之下万人之上。国内随着体制改革和经济开发的深入，人力资源的开发和管理越来越受到重视，一个现代企业，最重要的不是资金是否充足，而是是不是有一群有知识有能力并与企业同生共死的员工，而女性所特有的亲和力及号召力使她们更胜任人事经理的工作。
三、 传播媒介 如今可以叫做传媒时代，任何风潮可以在一夜之间传遍世界的每一个角落，因而传媒红人无不红的发紫，从中央电视台“综艺大观”一飞冲天的倪萍，到湖南卫视“快乐大本营”台柱之一的李湘，从由电影下来有操刀电视的第一富婆刘晓庆，到原来效力于传媒后来驾权传媒的杨澜，女生在传媒媒介中始终是一道亮丽养眼的风景线，她们的收入自然是一般人几十辈子也挣不来的。
四、 外企白领 严格说来，外企白领不是一种职业，而是很多种职业的总称，泛指在跨国企业里任中高级职务的人员，她们的言谈举止显示出她们经过了良好的专业培训，中文、洋文随口便来；她们衣级别不同，穿着不同档次的优雅套装，淡装浓抹，进出于高级写字楼；她们的收入是国内一般职员收入的几倍到几十倍，如以人民币计算，月收入应在七八千到数万不等，如果是年薪制则会更高。这一类的代表人物是曾经的吴士宏，她在微软任中国区总经理的时候名利双收，荣获“打工皇后”桂冠，以至于无数少女都以她为榜样，发誓要像她那样出人头地。
五、 注册会计师 这是一个和男生争夺饭碗的行业，目前男女比例大约是一半对一半。虽然女生只占半壁江山，但整个行业的前景非常看好，市场缺口很大。最近几年注册会计师考试统计数字很能说明问题，2001年各科通过考试(及格百分比如下：会计5。7%，审计13。6%，财务9。27%，经济法7。96%，税法6。81%，一次性五科全部通过的比例仅有0。36%，一方面是国家对于注册会计师质量的严格控制，但另一方面也说明注册会计师是不折不扣的“紧销货”。
六、 保险经纪人 同保险代理人一样，保险经纪人代表投保险人购买保险单或介绍保险业务，促使保险合同成立。不同的是，保险代理人代表保险公司与投保人洽谈保险业务，保险经纪人的佣金，一般由保险人即保险公司支付，其主要形式有保险经纪人佣金、招揽佣金、特拥等。美国保险经纪人平均年薪约在20——30万美元，属于高薪收入行业。随着中国加入WTO，保险业将开放，保险经纪人及相应的薪资水平将逐步普遍起来，是女生们大展宏图的好时机。
七、 职业经理人 女生做职业经理人是虎口扒食——这一向是男生的领地。但近年越来越多的女生进入这个行业。职业经理人一生的目标便似乎是在各个大公司里当经理，这里呆不下去。这个行业的女中豪杰里，前面说的吴士宏是一个，格力空调营销总经理董明珠是一个，在一些大的股份制企业里，副总经理的年薪达到50——60万元人民币，部门经理的高层管理人员也可达到30——40万元人民币。 八、 金融银行业 金融银行业在国内算是垄断行业之一，一般职员的薪金在全国平均薪金中高高在上，进入这个行业的门槛很不容易。加入WTO后，垄断打破，国外大量的资金进入，大量的投资人进入，必然带来大量的人才需求，必然拉动行业薪资水平的攀升，据预测，一般骨干员工的年薪在6万元人民币左右，中层管理人才的年薪20——30万人民币，高层管理人才的年薪可达50万人民币以上，甚至冲上100万元人民币大关。
九、 体育明星 男生有体育明星，女生也有体育明星，而且这个行业是少有的河水不犯井水的行业之一。体操、游泳、跳水等是女生历来的热门，并在今后若干年内将继续热门。她们平时的待遇跟男子足球运动员之类比起来尚有一定差距，但一旦拿个什么世界冠军，除了俱乐部的奖金、国家体育总局的奖金十万二十万，还有各种企业赞助和奖励，动辄几十上百万，而随之而来的广告收入让这些奖金简直不值一提——但是，这个行业的不确定性也是最突出的；谁能保证拼老命就一定有出头之日？
十、 影视明星 影视明星大约不需要多说，少男少女们都是最忠实的追星族，明星们长年在国内国外飞来飞去，在各种媒体上唱来跳去，惹红了多少人的眼！她们的显性收入其实不一定算得上最高，但隐性收大约无人能比，像走穴的、逃税的、广告的收入等等，没有人知道她们到底有多少钱，媒体上只有她们的豪宅名车——但这里我要重复一句老话；君子爱财，取之有道——这个行业也有个不确定性的问题：不是“先天资源”好就可以成明星的。
Friday, September 14, 2007
ZT: 投资房地产
http://finance.creaders.net/newsViewer.php?id=750090
Marketwatch刊登文章说，投资房地产不会给人带来一夜发财的机会，但是如果投资者做好足够的研究，买进的机会选得好，还是可以得到相当高的回报。
这篇文章指出：人们投资房地产通常有几种途径，一个就是炒房买进来，装修一下，然后在短时间内卖出获利；另一个，就是买进房子来出租，通常很多年内不会卖掉房子。
买房出租这种投资方式的常规方法可以是买居住屋，高楼的居室，或者商业出租楼房。好处是：靠出租，投资者不仅可以等着房子升值，还可以有一些现金收入。如果通货膨胀上升，房租也可以随之上升。坏处是：投资房地产不像投资股票那样随时可以兑现，而且房地产市场具有很长周期性。
如果不想买进房子但是又想投资房地产的话，投资者不妨考虑投入REIT。好处是不需要自己去管理房子，风险分散，随时可以兑现，又可以为投资者提供现金收入。
如果你不喜欢REIT，想投资真正的房地产，都需要考虑些什么呢？
首先，想想你自己能做什么，比如，律师可以写租约，装修商可以改造房子。一位房地产投资者说，想当房东的人先要想清楚自己是否有能力承担这份责任，至少有90%的人不适合做生意，善于对付房客，不会管理房产。如果请人帮助你管理的话，你的投资收入就会减少很多，出租类的房地产不仅仅是投资，也是一个小生意。
其次，对于房地产来讲，最重要的因素是位置。整个地区的经济环境以及处于什么样的校区都是必须要考虑的。如果购买商业出租房产的就一定要研究一下现有租客的情况。
再次是要注意成本。把所有的可能的费用都算进去，比如保险费。如果房子比较老旧需要翻修，一定要请验房师来查一查房子的框架是否坚固。
最后，一定要想好退路。投资者应该想好他们准备在多长时间内将房子出手。另外，一定要准备一笔款项以背意外修理之需，或者找不到租客的空房期。
投资者一定要注意的是：
一，不要付钱超过房子所值：很多情况下如果你买的房产低于市值就很容易赚钱。千万不要被房子表面的好处所迷惑。(www.creaders.net 记者专稿 转载请注明出处)
二，要仔细阅读房子的公约和条款，不要有遗漏。不然有时罚款也是很厉害的。
三，要仔细调查租客的背景。要查租客的信誉和工作情况以确保他们付得起租金。租客租的时间越长越好。每次老租客搬出新租客搬进中间平均会有两个半月的租金损失－这包括做广告，空房和修理费用。(www.creaders.net 记者专稿 转载请注明出处)
四，不要把摊子搞得太大。不要一下子买一个很大的投资房，也不要在翻修上花很多钱，因为在某些地方翻修不会在回报方面带来很大的不同。
五，找好合作伙伴。很多人在投资房地产是愿意找人合作。如果是新投资者的话最好是找一个有经验的房地产专业人士合作，而且一定要调查一下这个人以前的投资背景以及是否成功。
Marketwatch刊登文章说，投资房地产不会给人带来一夜发财的机会，但是如果投资者做好足够的研究，买进的机会选得好，还是可以得到相当高的回报。
这篇文章指出：人们投资房地产通常有几种途径，一个就是炒房买进来，装修一下，然后在短时间内卖出获利；另一个，就是买进房子来出租，通常很多年内不会卖掉房子。
买房出租这种投资方式的常规方法可以是买居住屋，高楼的居室，或者商业出租楼房。好处是：靠出租，投资者不仅可以等着房子升值，还可以有一些现金收入。如果通货膨胀上升，房租也可以随之上升。坏处是：投资房地产不像投资股票那样随时可以兑现，而且房地产市场具有很长周期性。
如果不想买进房子但是又想投资房地产的话，投资者不妨考虑投入REIT。好处是不需要自己去管理房子，风险分散，随时可以兑现，又可以为投资者提供现金收入。
如果你不喜欢REIT，想投资真正的房地产，都需要考虑些什么呢？
首先，想想你自己能做什么，比如，律师可以写租约，装修商可以改造房子。一位房地产投资者说，想当房东的人先要想清楚自己是否有能力承担这份责任，至少有90%的人不适合做生意，善于对付房客，不会管理房产。如果请人帮助你管理的话，你的投资收入就会减少很多，出租类的房地产不仅仅是投资，也是一个小生意。
其次，对于房地产来讲，最重要的因素是位置。整个地区的经济环境以及处于什么样的校区都是必须要考虑的。如果购买商业出租房产的就一定要研究一下现有租客的情况。
再次是要注意成本。把所有的可能的费用都算进去，比如保险费。如果房子比较老旧需要翻修，一定要请验房师来查一查房子的框架是否坚固。
最后，一定要想好退路。投资者应该想好他们准备在多长时间内将房子出手。另外，一定要准备一笔款项以背意外修理之需，或者找不到租客的空房期。
投资者一定要注意的是：
一，不要付钱超过房子所值：很多情况下如果你买的房产低于市值就很容易赚钱。千万不要被房子表面的好处所迷惑。(www.creaders.net 记者专稿 转载请注明出处)
二，要仔细阅读房子的公约和条款，不要有遗漏。不然有时罚款也是很厉害的。
三，要仔细调查租客的背景。要查租客的信誉和工作情况以确保他们付得起租金。租客租的时间越长越好。每次老租客搬出新租客搬进中间平均会有两个半月的租金损失－这包括做广告，空房和修理费用。(www.creaders.net 记者专稿 转载请注明出处)
四，不要把摊子搞得太大。不要一下子买一个很大的投资房，也不要在翻修上花很多钱，因为在某些地方翻修不会在回报方面带来很大的不同。
五，找好合作伙伴。很多人在投资房地产是愿意找人合作。如果是新投资者的话最好是找一个有经验的房地产专业人士合作，而且一定要调查一下这个人以前的投资背景以及是否成功。
Friday, September 7, 2007
NJIT: Erika Taugher - Mechanical Engineering
Erika Taugher is a star soccer player at NJIT. After playing for just two years, she is poised to become the university’s all-time leading scorer. She’s also a stellar student. In her major, mechanical engineering, she has a near perfect grade-point average of 3.7.
It’s that combination --athlete and engineer – that has helped her get a coveted Wall Street internship. This summer, she’ll work as an intern for J.P. Morgan, a top investment bank in Manhattan. To get the internship, she competed against 500 students from colleges such as Harvard, Yale and Princeton.
“I was intimidated by all those Ivy League students,” said Erika, “but most of them were not engineering majors. And Wall Street firms want to hire engineers.”
Wall Street firms also want athletes. Erika is on her way to Wall Street in large part because of an assist from the Alumni Athlete Network. Founded by Ron Mitchell, a former captain of Harvard’s basketball team, the network helps usher college athletes onto Wall Street.
Over the years, Wall Street recruiters have found that college athletes possess characteristics that tend to make them ideal employees. Athletes tend to be competitive, driven and goal-oriented -- the characteristics one needs to succeed on Wall Street, a high-pressure environment where 80-hour weeks are the norm.
Mitchell’s network accepts 500 applications from college athletes. He then picks some 150 interview candidates, of whom 37 are placed in internships at firms like Citigroup, Goldman Sachs and Merrill Lynch.
What makes these internships so sought after and competitive, said Mitchell, is this: More than 80 percent of the interns are offered full-time jobs. The internship is the main avenue to a Wall Street career. So, these days, if you don’t come into Wall Street as an intern, your chances of working on the Street are dim, he said.
The most recent hiring trend on Wall Street, he added, is the influx of engineers into the financial-services industry. Engineers not only have quantitative skills but computing skills; they thus can handle the sophisticated software programs that power investment firms.
“What gave Erika an edge is her engineering background,” said Mitchell. “Wall Street is eager to hire engineers, whose analytical skills help investment firms make sound decisions. Erika also has a phenomenal personality, so when you combine her quantitative skills with her personality – that’s a winning combination on Wall Street.”
At NJIT, Erika winningly combines academics and athletics. She is a scholar in the Albert Dorman Honors College, and is vice president of finance for the Student Senate. She has a double major -- mechanical engineering and business management -- and though she is just a junior, she is already taking classes toward her MBA. The School of Management offers an accelerated degree program -- a BS/MBA – that helps students jumpstart their careers. She has worked as a teaching assistant in physics, tutoring students in the Educational Opportunity Program.
On the soccer field, Erika’s record is equally impressive. She is close to breaking university records for goals, assists and points. She has also played with the Portuguese National Women’s Soccer Team in the prestigious 2006 Algarve Cup.
And starting in May, when her internship begins, Erika will bring that competitive spirit to Wall Street. She is excited. She’ll be paid $1,200 a week, and live – all expenses paid – in a New York University dormitory. In one summer she’ll get a good sense of how an investment bank operates. She’ll work at J.P. Morgan’s Sales and Trading unit, where she’ll learn how capital flows from the world’s largest investors; follow the financial markets; attend weekly financial market meetings and meet regularly with senior managers.
The internship is ideal for Erika, since she wants to get her MBA and work in finance. She would like to one day work abroad, too. She has an international background. Her mother is Portuguese and her father is Canadian. She grew up in Oakville, Canada, just outside of Toronto, where in high school she excelled in academics and soccer. When she was a senior in high school, she visited a number of top universities in Canada and the U.S. But she decided to attend NJIT – her first choice. And now, after being chosen for the J.P. Morgan internship, she realizes it was the right choice. It was NJIT, she believes, that gave her the edge in getting the internship.
“NJIT is such a unique university,” Erika said, “and I’m just so happy to be here. The coaches and professors have helped me balance soccer and academics. The students here are so smart, and it’s such a supportive learning environment. NJIT sets you up to succeed: That’s why I got this internship.”
It’s that combination --athlete and engineer – that has helped her get a coveted Wall Street internship. This summer, she’ll work as an intern for J.P. Morgan, a top investment bank in Manhattan. To get the internship, she competed against 500 students from colleges such as Harvard, Yale and Princeton.
“I was intimidated by all those Ivy League students,” said Erika, “but most of them were not engineering majors. And Wall Street firms want to hire engineers.”
Wall Street firms also want athletes. Erika is on her way to Wall Street in large part because of an assist from the Alumni Athlete Network. Founded by Ron Mitchell, a former captain of Harvard’s basketball team, the network helps usher college athletes onto Wall Street.
Over the years, Wall Street recruiters have found that college athletes possess characteristics that tend to make them ideal employees. Athletes tend to be competitive, driven and goal-oriented -- the characteristics one needs to succeed on Wall Street, a high-pressure environment where 80-hour weeks are the norm.
Mitchell’s network accepts 500 applications from college athletes. He then picks some 150 interview candidates, of whom 37 are placed in internships at firms like Citigroup, Goldman Sachs and Merrill Lynch.
What makes these internships so sought after and competitive, said Mitchell, is this: More than 80 percent of the interns are offered full-time jobs. The internship is the main avenue to a Wall Street career. So, these days, if you don’t come into Wall Street as an intern, your chances of working on the Street are dim, he said.
The most recent hiring trend on Wall Street, he added, is the influx of engineers into the financial-services industry. Engineers not only have quantitative skills but computing skills; they thus can handle the sophisticated software programs that power investment firms.
“What gave Erika an edge is her engineering background,” said Mitchell. “Wall Street is eager to hire engineers, whose analytical skills help investment firms make sound decisions. Erika also has a phenomenal personality, so when you combine her quantitative skills with her personality – that’s a winning combination on Wall Street.”
At NJIT, Erika winningly combines academics and athletics. She is a scholar in the Albert Dorman Honors College, and is vice president of finance for the Student Senate. She has a double major -- mechanical engineering and business management -- and though she is just a junior, she is already taking classes toward her MBA. The School of Management offers an accelerated degree program -- a BS/MBA – that helps students jumpstart their careers. She has worked as a teaching assistant in physics, tutoring students in the Educational Opportunity Program.
On the soccer field, Erika’s record is equally impressive. She is close to breaking university records for goals, assists and points. She has also played with the Portuguese National Women’s Soccer Team in the prestigious 2006 Algarve Cup.
And starting in May, when her internship begins, Erika will bring that competitive spirit to Wall Street. She is excited. She’ll be paid $1,200 a week, and live – all expenses paid – in a New York University dormitory. In one summer she’ll get a good sense of how an investment bank operates. She’ll work at J.P. Morgan’s Sales and Trading unit, where she’ll learn how capital flows from the world’s largest investors; follow the financial markets; attend weekly financial market meetings and meet regularly with senior managers.
The internship is ideal for Erika, since she wants to get her MBA and work in finance. She would like to one day work abroad, too. She has an international background. Her mother is Portuguese and her father is Canadian. She grew up in Oakville, Canada, just outside of Toronto, where in high school she excelled in academics and soccer. When she was a senior in high school, she visited a number of top universities in Canada and the U.S. But she decided to attend NJIT – her first choice. And now, after being chosen for the J.P. Morgan internship, she realizes it was the right choice. It was NJIT, she believes, that gave her the edge in getting the internship.
“NJIT is such a unique university,” Erika said, “and I’m just so happy to be here. The coaches and professors have helped me balance soccer and academics. The students here are so smart, and it’s such a supportive learning environment. NJIT sets you up to succeed: That’s why I got this internship.”
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Disussion - Is College Worth the Cost?
nanmarmour - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:56PM ET
Overall: 1/5
This is a folksy discussion of a serious question, that is totally lacking in sound analysis. It is more likely to misguide a young reader than to provide them with solid advice.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:50PM ET
Overall: 1/5
Quick answer: Unless you need a degree for professional certification purposes, such as to become a civil engineer, architect or accountant, don't waste your time or your money. The ROI calculation has most definitely changed, because the cost of the degree has skyrocketed while wages and benefits have stagnated. I'm not saying "don't get an education", just that the status conferred by a BS or BA is not needed to attain an entry-level white collar job. The exception again is those positions that specifically require a degree as a professional certification. IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME!
srg99 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:38PM ET
Overall: 2/5
A well-intentioned article in that it draws on evidence, but there are some factual inaccuracies and poor assumptions. In addition, the overall assumption is that the ROI on college education is not as high as it used to be and that there are many alternatives. In fact, more than ever, a college degree is a minimum requirement to achieve a "middle class" lifestyle in the U.S., though it's very true that only about 30% of jobs *require* a BA. If you look at the BLS forecast, I believe the future forecast is for this to go up to 34-35%, and keep in mind it's the higher-level jobs that are less likely to be off-shored. Plus, those other 70% of jobs desirable to most people? I understand the private college example was an extreme. The fact is nearly 80% of all of the 17 million students who attend a degree-granting college in the U.S. in a given year attend PUBLIC institutions. So the vast majority of students are at state colleges/universities and community colleges. As the article notes at the start, referring to "experts," there is a huge bias in the media and among legislators in this country toward assuming private colleges are most desirable or most common, because that's the experience of those groups. The most glaring factual innacuracy in the article is the statement that careers as "nurses and physical therapists; network systems and database administrators" can be achieved with just an associate degree. In nursing, a field with a tremendous labor shortage, the BS degree is rapidly becoming the de-facto standard, after decades of an associate degree or diploma in nursing sufficing. To be a Physical Therapist, the minimum credential is a Master's degree and the preferred and increasingly mandated credential is a Doctoral degree (DPT), so that assessment is way off. In computer systems and networking, it's the lower level jobs that DON'T require a BA/BS that are being offshored. So, higher levels of education are required to be competitive here. It's not 1999 when everyone and their neighbor was getting a low-level certificate to be an IT administrator and taking home big bucks. The comment about for-profit colleges was also a sweeping generalization. There are many that provide a better ROI when you consider their unique programs/curriculum, and many others that outperform non-profit colleges on job placement and learning outcomes. However, I agree due diligence is necessary and not all are created equal.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:37PM ET
Overall: 2/5
Education is only half the story, train a monkey to stack up boxes to reach a banana and the monkey will never realize there's other fruits besides bananas. I never finished college, was never the smartest one in school but I was motivated, driven and determined to make it somewhere. I worked hard and am now reaping the rewards of my hard work. Making a 6 figure salary at a privately held healthcare organization, while doing outside consulting work as a side job. I learned everything I know thru discovery, hands on experience and training thru co-workers and others. People gave me the opportunities because they saw my determination, motivation and my dedication to do the very best that I can do. There is absolutely nothign wrong with the cookie cutter approach to life, doing everything as you are told to do and everything as it is in the standard cookie cutter design. I took the road no one wanted to travel and made something out of it. I believe that the challenges I had to overcome because of this choice is something a 4 year degree in college can not compare with.
Erin - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:23PM ET
Overall: 3/5
My man Albert Einstein said it best: "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. " If you focus on the $$$ your life will be miserable. Find work in a field you are passionate about....if you need a degree for that work then go get one. If not then college is a total waste of time and an even bigger waste of $$$. If you love your job you will be successful in every area of your life including financially.
Erin - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:23PM ET
Overall: 3/5
My man Albert Einstein said it best: "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. " If you focus on the $$$ your life will be miserable. Find work in a field you are passionate about....if you need a degree for that work then go get one. If not then college is a total waste of time and an even bigger waste of $$$. If you love your job you will be successful in every area of your life including financially.
lper98 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:15PM ET
Overall: 5/5
One can get an excellent education at most local public colleges. It is important to have good study skills and to be very well organized. After your first job, employers do not care where you went to school, only on the skills you bring to the job. Written by a college grad with lots of work experience.
wjwildcats97 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:14PM ET
Overall: 1/5
The lifetime earnings spread is old news. I would like someone to acknowledge the cause-effect relation behind those numbers. Crude Example: take a moron, give him a degree from Harvard and he is still a moron and will likely earn moron wages. Take a brilliant driven person with no degree and they will still have above average earnings. The fact of the matter is on the average smarter more driven people go to and finish college. It is not the education or the degree that is making them more money than their lazier stupider counterparts. Most of these higher caliber individuals would have had higher earnings regardless of their degree.
busycapital - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:10PM ET
Overall: 2/5
I have 2 Masters Degrees, one in Law and one in Finance and I am unemployed. In the old days the upper class need an education so that they could set themsleves above normal people. Now, the upper class tells you that if you pay 30K a year for an education, all your dreams will come true. Education is just another way for the upper class to stay rich. I learned it the hard way.
Doogie - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:00PM ET
Overall: 4/5
Not all colleges are created equal and certainly not all degrees are created equal. An engineering or math or quantitative heavy business degree will indicate a person who has a higher aptitude and is more likely to perform at a superior level to his/her peers. A liberal arts degree, especially in fill-in-the-blank studies, is no more an indicator of post high school aptitude than high school itself. Same is true for most private schools that no one has ever heard of (and some that we've all heard of). If you want a return on your investment (stripping away the ancillary value of college) then get a degree in a major that is employable. Also, the network you develop in college can be one of your greatest assets and sources of employment, which in very valuable at a name brand college and worthless at a non-namebrand college. As for the commentors that think an apprenticeship with an electrician or similar is a better route than college, consider the friends you will make, the spouse you'll end up with, and the lifestyle you'll be resigned to. The money may be similar to a white collar profession (banking, management, etc.) but it's a lower class life inhabited by lower class people. It's also permanent...a doctor can always be a carpenter but a carpenter can never be a doctor. Overall, I like the premise of the article. There are too many people pursuing useless degrees at worthless colleges, many of which are drowning in debt to do so. But it's not my life, so who cares?
aventorini1 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:58PM ET
Overall: 5/5
Great article!! One of the many myths of attending college is that a college degree can guarantee you success or a job. Your work ethic and talents guarantee your success in your financial life, not a college degree! I have a masters degree in social work, and a husband who flunked out of college and is now working in construction. At my highest paying social work job, my husband still made more money than I did. Now, I know that social work isn't a high paying job. And I am grateful for that degree because going to college taught me a lot about myself, and the knowledge I gained far outweighed the costs of that degree. However, I truly believe that the reason why my non-college degree husband is so successful is because he picked a talent he liked, and that he is good at, and he capitalized on it. I know a man who just received his MBA and has never worked in his life. I have a feeling that this individual will have a very hard time finding a good paying job to pay off those loans, because he has no working experience. I'm not saying that he will never find a job, I'm just saying that it will obviously be difficult for him. You cannot gain knowledge about real life from a textbook, you do that through experience and through working (internships, etc) at your profession of choice!! I also know of another person who is paying over $40,000 a year for her daughter's education, to which her major is in theatre. They have so much other debt. They don't have any money for retirement, and they put off fixing their leaking roof for 5 years, and now as a result they have major wood damage on their roof. My husband had to up the bid on the work to an additional $2000 so they can fix the wood-- and guess what, they don't have the $2000!! Talk about your financial priorities being messed up!! College is great, but it isn't everything! Thanks for a very informative article!!
sagrious - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:55PM ET
Overall: 4/5
This is the only time I've seen someone actually look at the cost/benefit relationship of paying for college. I think the 28% figure is misleading, since many companies would hire someone with a degree over someone without one even if it's not required. But it was a good article.
pchemsuks - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:54PM ET
Overall: 2/5
Anya fails to mention the difference between the BS (Bachelor of Science) and the BA (Bachelor of Arts). Neither nurses nor PTs want a BA. These degrees lack the science courses required for better pay and can hinder advancement. This is an important designation for engineers and other professional degrees. The education you receive at college is valuable, the name of the college is not except for the Ivy League and very few others (Stanford, eg.).
briyotya - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:45PM ET
Overall: 2/5
I went to college in engineering and it is worth it, however, I know lots of people, including my own children where it is more important WHAT degree you pursue, rather than just going to college. Lots of peopel with degrees in english, history, general studies, etc end up managing a Mcdonalds or something like that. Some one pointed out many of our most successful people never went to college or didnt finish, like Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Sam Walton, etc. I think it is more important what you study if you go to college, not just going that counts.
mdb - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:37PM ET
Overall: 2/5
This article started off poor and recovered slightly towards the end. Repetitive ideas at best. One part that I found exceptionally poor was an inexpensive associate degree earning you a rewarding job as a physical therapist. I don't know what part of the country you did your research in, but you cannot become a registered phyical therapist in my part of the country with a 2-year degree. PT assistant MAYBE, but that does not pay nearly as much. Many schools are now requiring a DPT for physical therapists. Requiring 6 1/2 years of school. Yes, PTs are underpaid so they will remain in middle-class, but it's by no means inexpensive to addend college for it. Also: carpenter and plumber: you do not need an associate's degree for those occupations; and implying that an associate's degree will land you a job as a database administrator or a sales manager is grossly misleading. On the other hand, having a 4-year degree might land you a decent paying job writing poor articles for Yahoo! Anya, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that while you were trying to build "stronger relationships" you fail to pay attention in your research class, but you passed anyway because the degree you went for was a cake-walk.
none - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:30PM ET
Overall: 5/5
I rate it five. As anya did a fine job reviewing to readers the pros and cons of college that are relevant to each individual's needs in life. Now, take one step back everyone. Think about the richest people on earth. They are drop-outs (Bill Gates), not-very-highly-educated (Carlos Slim) & (Li Ka Shing). Now, think about who are the middle class: those with BA degrees. But, not very rich. Okay, what does education 'mostly' gives 'the majority' of us? The thinking that we work hard for money 'for our entire life' that we will be rewarded with a higher paying job. All that we think are 'jobs, job, & more jobs'. What do the richest people on earth do? They invest.... School doesn't teach one how to handle his money, how to handle relationship, how to handle social problems. Else, our nation today would be a much better one then when it was first founded by our 4 fathers. Take one step back & think: is education really really that good for everybody. Anya did a good job. Not everyone need higher education if his conceptual advance is already more advance than what the higher education can teach him. Say, why suffer 4 more years in school if becoming a floor trader gives you $150,000 plus per year already? College: the majority of people's thinking for safe route. But, there is always a few out of the ordinary who succeed without a formal higher educationl.
Cindy - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:30PM ET
Overall: 3/5
I understand that this is a finance column and so the emphasis is on the monetary rewards that can come with a degree. Still, it must be said that the real, lasting, valuable product of a good college degree is the ability to think. Learning to think critically, much more than the skills needed to perform a specific career, is the treasure that lasts a lifetime and enhances all of life, through the working years and well into retirement.
Mike - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:02PM ET
Overall: 5/5
This is a great article and worthy food for thought. I think the overlooked aspect though is the focus on the individual knowing what they want to do prior to embarking on a formal educational experience. Forever I have wondered why secondary schooling curriculums may teach many subjects both complex and arcane but leave actual career strategy development and planning to a voluntary basis. Knowing what you want to do is half the battle and that 57% percent college dropout figure would disintegrate if solid career development was mandatory in schools. Another thing that makes formal education more obsolete is that thirty years ago to be successful they was a larger window of opportunity in corporate America which required the degree as a gate keeping device. Now the focus is on more nimble, small-time operators which ask for real world technical skills and some street smarts more so than a manufactured education. Undergraduate work is invaluable but is only worth the risk and investment if you know with reasonable certainty where it is going to take you.
bitrcollegegradd - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:01PM ET
Overall: 2/5
College is overrated and over priced. It all comes down the individual and how they were raised. The truth about college is that it is sold as being necessary but in reality it is a quasi status symbol/right of passage. My favorite part about college was watching the sheltered over achievers loose their minds and get into drugs and sex. Nothing better than getting a phone call from your perfect child 2 ½ years into that ivy league education to find out they’ve changed majors or are pregnant.
slappin_nuts - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:53PM ET
Overall: 5/5
One of the best articles considering higher education I have read in a long time. I would challenge Anya to dig deeper into the Community Colleges. As I understand the numbers I have heard -- granted they may be dated -- the community college route serves those who go on to pursue four-year degrees at universities better than those students who go directly to universities and colleges. More CC graduates graduate from four-year schools as a percentage than do those who do not have CC behind them. Where community colleges may not rate is their overall graduation rates which are going to be heavily biased due to the population they serve. Any good student would certainly be wise to take the CC route to higher education if they are value conscience. Bravo for an excellent article.
bogeymanlsl - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:50PM ET
Overall: 4/5
this is a very interesting topic that i discussed with my parents and siblings. having graduated from the university of maryland, i would say that college is a great experience. however, from a financial standpoint it would depend on how you approach the situation. I like to think that college can be broken down into 2 aspects. One is tuition, books and anything else that goes along with class. If you are instate and commute. the cost of college is minimal and would most likely benefit you in the long run. However, if you go out of state to get the same education you could have received in state or live on campus instead of commute when it is still possible to commute, i would say that part of college expense should be looked at as a vacation expense. This part in no way helps your future other than the networking and life changing experience college life has to offer. Additionally, the major you pursue has a large role in the value of your education. I majored in accounting, a field that upon graduation will give you a great opportunity for a high paying career. However, for those that majored in something they wouldnt pursue or majored in something with no concrete job application such as communication, I dont know how much the college education is really worth to that person. In conclusion, i think you cant go wrong attending an instate college and majoring in something concrete that will clearly help you get the job you desire.
rationalist_98 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:50PM ET
Overall: 2/5
If going to College pays for itself, why should Joe Six Pack who didn't go subsidize Anya who went? The answer is he should not, and Anya should spare us all the constant moaning and groaning about debt. No one forced her to go to Yale and to pick a liberal arts major. She should have gone to a public University and studied medicine or engineering. Choices have consequences. Stop whining and trying to pass onto others the costs of poor decisions you made.
bonescat - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:38PM ET
Overall: 4/5
Public colleges are a great deal, and they provide the most options. Having a degree has been a great investment. It provides so many options. While some friends from high school raved about their wages and tips when I was in school, they are paying for it now. They look so worn down now, and their wages are basically the same. They are now going into foreclosure on their homes. Go to college!
HR Dir - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:38PM ET
Overall: 5/5
College is worth only what you get out of the time and effort spent. I know a lot of people who went to college, dropped out, or just didn't like their degree and did NOTHING with their education. They would have been better off following this advice rather than going off to college with their parents footing the bill - or worse, taking on debt for a useless education. I earned my BA in 4 years working 36 - 48 hours per week to get tuition assistance from my employer 80%and had my MBA paid for 100% by my employers. No debt. But this isn't practical for everyone. My brother who is about to turn 30 will graduate with his BA next year after years of figuring out what he wanted to do... Since he didn't know at age 18, kudos to him for finding a path and direction without waisting a degree early on. My only regret is that I didn't do something like Peace Corps or AmeriCorps before, during or after college. Since I made the most of my education, maybe when I retire at 40?
alankerrymd - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:29PM ET
Overall: 5/5
The article points to an important question: the cost/benefit analysis of paying outrageous tuitions for private schools that will yield a pitiful starting salary for its graduates and not really offer any career mobility by itself. Without naming a specific school, think of a small, 4-year private college in New England that costs over $35K a year to attend. If the school is mediocre (that is, not very difficult to get into and not widely known outside the state it is in), most employers will know that it is a school for mediocre students (and mediocre potential employees). As a result, these students will get low-paying, high-stress, high-burn out jobs when they graduate with little chance for promotion. If they start by making $30K a year, they are better off having their parents put the "college fund" money into a mutual fund and giving them the money in 30 years when they retire. Unfortunately, there are too many below average students getting Bachelor degrees these days which dilute their significance and earning power.
bca0714 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:20PM ET
Overall: 5/5
I can't believe the negative comments on this article. Anya, I think you did a great job in weighing out the financial implications of going to college, delaying college, or not going at all. It says right at the beginning of the article that you are biased toward attending college, and that you would only discuss the financial aspects of the story here. People here will criticize you no matter what you say, so don't let it bother you. I think everyone would agree that attending college is an excellent opportunity to learn and grow as a person, but if you can't afford it, it's good to know that you can still be successful. Also the point about not going if you don't know what you want to do is very valuable, especially for those with limited resources.
fbs613 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:19PM ET
Overall: 2/5
advice for young people: Unless you are "REALLY" smart (i.e. Ivy type material) or someone else is paying the bill, don't waste time on college. Become a plumber or electrician, or something else of that sort. A good plumber makes more money than most professionals anyway. So unless you are going to be a doctor, dentist, or big firm lawyer, forget the whole thing and go for plumbing or the like
olalab - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:09PM ET
Overall: 3/5
I guess the bottom-line of this article is that if you are a below-to-average student without moms and pups money and you do not represent a minority population, you may be just better off continuing "flipping your burgers", then continuing "flipping your burgers" and paying off huge student debts.
Nick Name - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:07PM ET
Overall: 2/5
Other than that the articles she writes are mostly stating the obvious and indicates ones doesnt need to go to college to write articles for Yahoo. She looks like an angry lesbian type, in a hot sort of way, that would be good in "Something About Mary: 2"
valhalla360 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:56AM ET
Overall: 2/5
She seems to have glossed over the mathamatical portion entirely. She compared two 40 year careers. A more accurate comparison would be a 40 vs 36 year career (35 or 34 is more realistic considering 5 & 6 year students). She never clarified if the $1.2 million is a straight salery comparison, adjusted for inflation, or accounting for compound interest over time. The intangibles are hard to assess, but unless you are going into a high paying field, the money often doesn't justify the cost.
cab997 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:54AM ET
Overall: 2/5
There are a number of attractive career choices that offer good prospects for earning an above average income that do not require a degree (electricians, plumbers, contractors, etc.). Most college-educated (heavily indebted) readers have probably shelled out a pretty penny for "trade" work and wondered who really got the better deal.
elmatto1234 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:47AM ET
Overall: 1/5
A very empty article. Doesn't really say anything.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:42AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Very good job, real information instead of the unrealistic assertions and random musings of RTK and Trunk. Refreshing.
hwunger - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:37AM ET
Overall: 3/5
good article, but do only college grads enjoy "...widening cultural horizons and developing critical thinking, civic participation, healthier living, and stronger relationships..." ??? .... a little biased aren't we hmmmm ?
Jim - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:15AM ET
Overall: 3/5
I think the answer to "Should I go to college?" needs to be Yes for just about every young person. I believe that most young people are incapable of making "solo" life decisions when they're still in high school. At age 14-17 we're just too sequestered, living at home and following the rules and norms of our parents to rightfully conclude, "oh, I thought about it and decided I don't need to attend college". Take my word for it, an undergraduate college experience is a crucial development experience, for many of the reasons Anya highlighted. That said, I don't feel the same way about graduate school. How many people are piling on the debt to go to grad school, or uprooting their families to attend grad school in some distant state. I'm not sure the long-term benefits typically outweigh the costs. Attending grad school locally, and with the discipline of your household budget, is probably the best choice. Disclosure: I have two graduate degrees.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:14AM ET
Overall: 2/5
The issue of job satisfaction and the lifestyle associated with degree-requiring jobs is overlooked completely in this analysis. A naive attempt to measure the value of higher education and other complex life choices in dollars and interest rates is typical of young age or young-age mentality. Values change substantially as we progress in life.
wonko - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:02AM ET
Overall: 5/5
Good information about the financial side of the decision to attend college or not.
jtoour1 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:59AM ET
Overall: 1/5
The last 3 paragraphs says it all.
groblix - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:52AM ET
Overall: 1/5
I hate when people act like the only purpose of a higher education is to make more money. I've never managed to reap much financial return on my substantial investments in education, but I am far richer for having received the gift of knowledge. College is not vocational school.
Paul O - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:45AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Well done.
peterverbeke - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:42AM ET
Overall: 2/5
I agree with bfrykman's comment about the huge correlation between people that are going to be successful anyway and those that go to college. However his Net Present Value of money argument is not correct. He should consider that in 40 years the earnings difference will also amount to a lot more than the 1.2 million.
dp_mich - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:37AM ET
Overall: 3/5
There's alot of good information in this article that can benefit a great many people - including PARENTS. However, I believe it is highly worth considering the growth of 80k (the current cost of a 4 year degree at MSU)- in the market, instead of using it to pay for school. Now consider that growth at, say, approximately 9% (the market has actually averaged 12% over the last 40 years) over the next 40 years = a cool 2.888 million at retirement. That beats the college students total earnings by 1.6 and some change. If you take into account the 134k private school, and do the same math, the non college student beats the grad by 3.6 million. Moral of the story, give the kids the money instead, in a secure trust fund, let them party on the weekends at the college of their choice, while they find jobs and work as well - who knows what they may dream up given the time to think entrepreneurial at a youthful age. It's worth thinking about for sure, especially given the unknowns of the future. That being said, all four of my kids are going to college. But, Im starting to wonder??? - thx for reading, good article Anya!
ag55gen - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:33AM ET
Overall: 2/5
Large state schools do a poor job because of the type of faculty and the type of students they attract. The student bodies are interested in the parties. The faculty members are interested in the research. Neither group is interested in undergraduate education. You should understand your own intelligence level before deciding what career to pursue and how to pursue it. Your intelligence is mostly a fixed feature by the time you are 18. If you are in the top 5% of intelligence, then you should probably by a doctor, lawyer, MBA, etc. If you are of average intelligence, you just aren't going to have those options no matter how much education you attempt to undertake.
theeasylife80 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:22AM ET
Overall: 3/5
I graduated in 2006 and had about two years of professional "post-intern" job experience under my belt by the time i graduated. Well, most places still only want to hire you as a freelancer (I'm a writer) and then they ask you to do a million other things for them at severely reduced pay. Living in the northeast, it's especially frustrating because, at 23, i have to take on several different clients to make due and I hardly have enough to buy my own place with these exorbitant and maliciously overpriced real estate costs. if someone had told me, at 18, that going to college would only increase my base pay rate by about $5 an hour, I would've skipped it altogether.
lrking1 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:20AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Finally, someone bucking the trend and questioning the college as a must have for everyone. There are alternatives if you're not the academic-type; follow your heart into a rewarding career and know that you can always make changes as your life changes.
bfrykman - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:20AM ET
Overall: 1/5
Here is the problem with her analysis. First people who successfully negociate the planning, time commitment, and financial commitment of attaining a college degree would probably fare much better in life regardless of whether they obtained a degree or not. The person, therefore, and not the degree is the salient issue in lifetime earnings. Then there is the time value of the money involved. Assuming that one did not need to borrow the cash, which is a very bad idea in the first place, lets look the return on $133,000 invested at 7% for 40 years ( a working lifetime). The return is almost $2,000,000, far exceeding the statistical earnings increase figure that was stated by the author. Additionally, if one enters the workforce four to five years earliers instead of spending the time in college and used that opportunity to save then the figures become more skewed against the value of a college degree. If one goes to college to acquire otherwise very difficult to learn skills that have real value in the job market then go for it. If the object is merely to "get a degree" then you are on the wrong track and you will be wasting your time, your energy and your cash that would be far better used elsewhere. Careers that "require a degree" but require no other demonstrable talent will be low paying regardless of the degree obtained. Most top earners are entrepanuers and a college degree is simply a waste of time for people who would rather set an agenda than to follow one.
Limeaid - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:08AM ET
Overall: 3/5
You should talk to Penelope Trunk about what college means to her. She is an imbecile when it comes to being prepared for a life of work.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:06AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Good story, makes sense. I think the important part is the additional earnings an educated person will earn. 30 years from now retirement benefit may be gone and it will be entirely up to the worker. The extra dollars an education will yield is relevant. Education doesn't always have to be expensive. there are community colleges and employers who will pay for you to attend. Young adults who may be intimidated by college should not be. It's not about how fast you finish, but that you finish..
Ben D - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:02AM ET
Overall: 3/5
In response to klarich73 who comments on other countries schools being free... they may be free to students, but not everyone can go. Often selection is determined by who you know or scoring at a certain level on a test. In the US anyone who has the drive can go to a college, community or state, thanks to scholarships, grants, and/or loans. This is much prefereable to being told well you didnt score high enough so here is you burger flipper have a nice life. That being said the "expert" needs to do more research. Being in the IT field the only way to be a DBA or Network System administrator without a bachelor's degree is to have 10 years experience, basically the people who were working before there was a degree for this and learned it on the job. Even with that experience though it is challenging for them to move up and God forbid they try and leave their existing company cause most wont look twice at them.
alaura_denon - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:59AM ET
Overall: 3/5
This is better than most of your articles as you stayed on point and didn't bring the free lunch into it. However, I think you should address another aspect to higher education than just earning potential. I remember looking at the 10 richest people of the world last year and taking note that of the top five three had no college degree. Indeed Bill Gates who held the top spot for many years is a college drop out. So earning potential is not the sole reason for a degree. Having a college education myself (which I paid for whithout grants or loans) I can say that it is a broadening experience. Being exposed to other cultures, and people tends to take away prejudice. You are generally better at communication and working in a group setting. College is about learning, and what you really do in college is "Learn to learn." People who have been to college learn at a better rate than those who haven't. Having been in the manufacturing industry for fifteen years and trained many thousands of people I can tell you that it is much easier to train someone with college experience, even if they didn't graduate, than someone who has never attended. That is not to say that a person can't excel if they haven't been to college, there are exceptions, but the odds are better for those with at least some college experience. It is also about performing work that is rewarding in terms of personal satisfaction and not just monetary. Some of the lowest paid are our nations educators. These teachers usually choose their profession for personal reasons more than financial gain. And they are required to complete a BA to have the priveledge. They are also required to complete continueing education classes to keep their certification, all while earning a salary which is at the bottom end of the professional line up, and far less than many factory workers with no education. So Anya, write a column about the quality reasons to attend college, life is not all about money.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:57AM ET
Overall: 4/5
This is the first article she has written I mostly agreed with. Also most proffesionals out there don't think about how much some of these other jobs make. Say in CA were I live if you leave HS and become an apprentace Lines Man for the Electric CO. you will earn close to $60K straight time. This will increase to near $100K in 4 years. If you go to college and get a libral arts degree you will never catch up or earn as much. Other skilled trades pay well too. Not everyone needs to go to college.
James G - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:57AM ET
Overall: 1/5
I'm still stuck on the fact that this person is the EXPERT voice of my generation. She who has bad credit because she cannot budget and learn to use money. What a decadent thing for Yahoo to do. Light bulb moment---- I know lets let the blind lead the blind. While we're at it how bout a column from Lyndsey Lohan and Paris Hilton on morals and building the perfect family life. Budgeting is easy or at least it should be to one of our nations greatest financial minds. Maybe if she gets ratings low enough she will be asked to move on and they can fill her space with someone who isn't doing just like everyone else out there living in debt. Just because she has a job and book that will pay her enough to get out of debt does not cancel out the fact that she had no idea how to use money before she made much. She would not be successful if she wasn't telling people how she thought they could be successful. Well... maybe she's pretty enough to become the Brittany Spears of finance. To arouse the public interest without talent or a mind is now the American Dream. Live it for us all pretty girl who cannot budget and we will love you for it.
DennisAOK - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:53AM ET
Overall: 4/5
At the high end, studies have shown that going to a better state university has a greater financial payoff than an Ivy League school. At the low end, one needs to be careful. In my business we hired a young guy a few years ago with a BBA whose command of English (his mother tongue) grammar and spelling stopped at about the sixth grade. As another reader pointed out, standards have been watered down.
phillynails - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:48AM ET
Overall: 2/5
I think Anya needs to do a little more fact checking, at least regarding the field of physical therapy. You can become a physical therapy assistant with an Associates degree, not a physical therapist.
dannyboy - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:38AM ET
Overall: 5/5
anya is not single. she is a yale graduate... and i don't agree with all of her work, but she is 100 times more informative than ms. trunk
avgjoedaddy - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:26AM ET
Overall: 3/5
It was refreshing to hear an alternative voice to "education, education, education". I returned to college at 40 and have been disappointed with the quality of instruction. Most courses are crammed with way too much material, the profs show up to class with little preparation and a bleeping Powerpoint presentation, and students are basically teaching themselves. Classroom time is essentially wasted and would be better spent reading the gazillion chapters. Then we pay pay pay. Tuition is high, and now they charge hundreds of dollars of "junk fees". I'm paying athletic fee, health fee, parking fee, etc this semester and I'm an online student!! I protested and the University's reply: "We are authorized by the Board of Regents to charge these fees. You can take your complaints to them". OK then. All that complaining, I think it's best to obtain a degree. I agree with Anya would warn anyone to think very seriously about getting into huge sums education debt. The University system is a bastion of arrogance and they don't respond quickly to the needs of their constituents because the don't have too. The value they offer is hit and miss at best. For those of you who don't know what to do, get a Business degree or a Nursing Degree at a reasonable price. While Business or Nursing may not be your career, everyone engages in business and health issues all their life. Both degrees are great foundation to build a life around.
Andrew N - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:20AM ET
Overall: 3/5
While it hits some good points, I wish she would have focused more on the community college aspect. In many states (Florida being where I live), receiving a two year associate degree guarantees your acceptance into a state college, with it treated as your first 2 years. Not to mention, the cost is about 1/3rd, and it give you time to change your mind 10 times about where your life is going to end.
G - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:06AM ET
Overall: 5/5
'User at 8:12 am'...read the last paragraph of the article. And other commenters, please consider how one could 'add more' and delve into details when the length of the article must be limited to appeal to short attention spans. Let's all ease up a bit and commend good advice for what it is.
vovka91 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:01AM ET
Overall: 1/5
This is a terrible analysis of colleges. How is Anya getting paid to spit this garbage out? Better colleges do a better job of graduating you??? NO! Better students go to better colleges... thus they graduate themselves at a higher rate. Cost - benefit analysis of college??? Anya should have done this for herself, I mean after all, she is a columnist, and they get paid crap. What kind of cost/benefit analysis did she do when she decided her major?? Why would anyone in their right mind take advice from her? She is clearly a writer that went to college, without any fundamental business knowledge... Maybe she should just go back abroad if she recommends it so much.
onejohny - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:56AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Mostly very good article with a few errors. The one that comes to mind is the highest paying BA degrees (engineering/computer science) mentioned are actually BS degrees.
Femme Fatale - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:53AM ET
Overall: 2/5
You really need to back up some of your assertions with facts. "Huge public colleges" don't have lower graduation rates, and if they do, then compared to what? Huge publics tend to get better qualified students than less-reputed schools and hence have BETTER graduation rates.
jdude - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:53AM ET
Overall: 3/5
Maryfoltyn is shortsighted. How employable is she? College certainly helps in this regard and opens up chances for advancement. Given the likeliehood for lost earnings by not having a degree, leading to lost retirement savings and the fact that $385,000 will be worth a lot less by retirement time (don't get me wrong - that's a nice chunk, but not enough to maintain what most people would consider a nice middle class living), be wary of her comments. Yes, there are people who do very well without a degree - witness several entrepeneurs - but that's not for everyone and you certainly can't count on success. And yes, the Millionaire Next Door tells us that having one's own non-glamorous business can put them at the top of the wealth heap, it's not for everyone and may provide much less intellectual challenge than many would like. Maybe not going to college worked out very well for her, and great if it did and if this is the path you really want to take, but be careful of generalizing her comments - college opens a lot of doors and on average gives one many more options.
taopraxis - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:51AM ET
Overall: 2/5
Many years ago, maybe 5-10% of the population went to college. They were a select group and most were very intelligent. If 50% of the population now goes to college, you know immediately that college is not what it used to be. Many universities that were once academic hallmarks are now little more than profit-oriented degree mills run by corrupt bureaucratic types. Bottome line, everyone cannot get rich doing the same thing. But, by all means go to college. It is an interesting experience. Just make sure someone else pays for it. If you really belong in college for academic purposes, you should not have to pay, anyway.
Steven - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:41AM ET
Overall: 4/5
A lot better than usual. However, she focuses on the graduation rate of public vs private schools a bit too much. It isn't that the private schools do a "better job" of graduating students, it is the type of students who go to private schools vs public schools. On average, more motivated students of better financial means are more likely to go to private schools, so it shouldn't be surprising that a higher percentage of those students graduate.
swmod52 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:39AM ET
Overall: 5/5
This is an excellent analysis of the current state of college today. Reading it brought into sharp focus the tough decisions I made when I was in college both financial and otherwise. Reading her article I'm also reminded of a girl I met just after winter break my freshmen year. Her roomate was always at the library and we spent a lot of time together alone in her room. Yes the good old days
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:38AM ET
Overall: 2/5
This column was "light" at best and clearly nothing new. And my guess is that largely she is "preaching to the choir" as most of her audience probably are either college grads or at least understand the benefits of higher education. Somewhat ironically, the article sounded like it was written by someone with very little "world experience" but rather someone who just got out of college and did some research to support her decision and to convince herself that her student loan payments are worth the cost. The true benefits of an undergraduate degree are something that you don't fully appreciate until after you graduate - sometimes long after. I'm glad that she mentioned (albeit briefly) the intangibles of college education. She should also have gone into more depth of the differences between private and public schools (or more accurately small private schools vs. large state schools). Much is gained by attending classes that may have a dozen or fewer students as opposed to a lecture hall with 200. The economic analysis was generally accurate, although she didn't really mention the opportunity cost of both tuition dollars and the time spent in the classroom. When it comes down to it, a financial analysis of college vs. no college is a bit pointless - or at best it is 1-dimensional - as it is hard to put a dollar sign on the benefits of higher education. Ultimately, the money one makes - either after college, or instead of college - has more to do with the person's ambition and goals. There are thousands of entrepreneurs and small business owners out there (Bill Gates to name one) who chose a path other than college and make far more than I do with a Masters. Then again there are some who are content to work at lower wage jobs for the freedom it affords them (i.e. not "taking their job home with them"). I'll be interested in seeing Anya's article on grad school. My guess is that her conclusion will coincide with her situation (if she has an advanced degree, she will recommend one to her readers) but we'll see. My take on an advanced degree is that they are important for someone who needs one to specifically perform their job or to advance in their career. Nothing new there either.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:12AM ET
Overall: 3/5
Generally this is a good subject and she does bring up some valid points. However I agree that she has not put enough research in regarding the actually education levels required for particular careers, and also did not factor in the opportunity cost of attending college. If you work those four years vs. acquiring debt and invest, etc. It will take a college grad longer to 'catch up', not to mention now that person has 4 years of experience in their trade that will raise their income level. I am an advocate for higher education but I also think entering a trade or occupation that pays well and doesn't require a degree can often be just as high paying and rewarding. I would have liked to have seen some numbers on advanced degrees and to what effect those are worth the cost.
josephrbook - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:06AM ET
Overall: 3/5
A nice read, but one point Anya: based on your first few articles, it wasn't "obvious" that you went to college.
A Publius in training - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:05AM ET
Overall: 3/5
A nice surprise, a well written and thought out column today. However, I do take exception to, "But keep in mind that having to transfer from a two-year to a four-year school makes it more difficult to graduate. More-selective institutions generally do a better job graduating their students, too." Transferring does NOT make graduation more difficult. One must to their homework before taking classes to know how and if the credits will transfer. Some states, AZ that I know of, have agreements in place between all state schools so figuring out what classes to take where can be determined before ever starting. More selective institution do a better job of graduating students? I'd love to see some stats on that. In my experience, attendance drops off significantly after the fall term. Show us the numbers Anya.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:03AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Good general evaluation. To the comment from Mary, I think you need to go to college
Tom Brown - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 7:18AM ET
Overall: 4/5
An honest evaluation - Very good for a non-engineer!
klarich73 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 6:38AM ET
Overall: 4/5
I think it is great to question the system that endebts college students to this extent. While in other countries university is free, the burden put on US-students is huge and a globalized job market gives no guarantees that these "investments" will ever get paid back in terms of higher salaries. A system that gives positive ratings to students just based on the name of their university is close to corrupt. I would recommend to pick a "cheap" school, learn as hard as possible, soak up every bit of knowledge accessible from books and lectures and then get into a job without a huge debt burden but as a free man/woman. And: spend a semester in a foreign country to learn another language.
maryfoltyn - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 6:32AM ET
Overall: 1/5
My parents let me live at home and gave me the cost of college, I added to that money four years of work, while investing everything now I have $385,000.00 invested that I would not have if I went to college for four years. Does anyone ever factor in the income I will receive from this for the rest of my life when they say going to college pays higher. Mary
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 4:21AM ET
Overall: 5/5
I've just read the title, actually. Wow! Yahoo for kids! I like it.
Jeff L - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 4:14AM ET
Overall: 5/5
This was a bold article. Ms. Kamenetz looked at the facts and came to some conclusions that were beyond the standard mantra - education, education, education. Perhaps she could have mentioned that education is always worth it, in terms not measurable in dollars, if we really apply ourselves. However, she does imply that fairly strongly. Overall, an honest article that gives college bound, or those thinking about enrolling sometime in the future, some general (yet specific enough) information/perspectives to consider.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 3:25AM ET
Overall: 2/5
Physical Therapy requires a DPT these days and comes out to about 7 years of schooling. It is by no means a "middle-class" career and no one becomes more than an assistant with only an associate's.
a013452 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:02AM ET
Overall: 1/5
There are at least a couple of errors in her column I'd like to address. First, when one compares the numbers, one needs to fully account for the time value of money. For an intelligent, motivated person entering the craft trades, and avoiding college debt, and earning near six figures, about when a college graduate would be entering the workforce, the (properly discounted) free cash flow difference might be quite compelling. Second, as a DBA, I have run into no one in my field that only has an AS (or less). Most have BS degrees, and many have masters degrees. I don't think this lady does adequate research. I think Yahoo should pull her byline. She doesn't do her homework.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:52AM ET
Overall: 2/5
she is wrong about some of the jobs and the level of education they require. physical therapy requires an bachelor's degree and a DPT (doctor of physical therapy) not just an associate degree.
Overall: 1/5
This is a folksy discussion of a serious question, that is totally lacking in sound analysis. It is more likely to misguide a young reader than to provide them with solid advice.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:50PM ET
Overall: 1/5
Quick answer: Unless you need a degree for professional certification purposes, such as to become a civil engineer, architect or accountant, don't waste your time or your money. The ROI calculation has most definitely changed, because the cost of the degree has skyrocketed while wages and benefits have stagnated. I'm not saying "don't get an education", just that the status conferred by a BS or BA is not needed to attain an entry-level white collar job. The exception again is those positions that specifically require a degree as a professional certification. IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME!
srg99 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:38PM ET
Overall: 2/5
A well-intentioned article in that it draws on evidence, but there are some factual inaccuracies and poor assumptions. In addition, the overall assumption is that the ROI on college education is not as high as it used to be and that there are many alternatives. In fact, more than ever, a college degree is a minimum requirement to achieve a "middle class" lifestyle in the U.S., though it's very true that only about 30% of jobs *require* a BA. If you look at the BLS forecast, I believe the future forecast is for this to go up to 34-35%, and keep in mind it's the higher-level jobs that are less likely to be off-shored. Plus, those other 70% of jobs desirable to most people? I understand the private college example was an extreme. The fact is nearly 80% of all of the 17 million students who attend a degree-granting college in the U.S. in a given year attend PUBLIC institutions. So the vast majority of students are at state colleges/universities and community colleges. As the article notes at the start, referring to "experts," there is a huge bias in the media and among legislators in this country toward assuming private colleges are most desirable or most common, because that's the experience of those groups. The most glaring factual innacuracy in the article is the statement that careers as "nurses and physical therapists; network systems and database administrators" can be achieved with just an associate degree. In nursing, a field with a tremendous labor shortage, the BS degree is rapidly becoming the de-facto standard, after decades of an associate degree or diploma in nursing sufficing. To be a Physical Therapist, the minimum credential is a Master's degree and the preferred and increasingly mandated credential is a Doctoral degree (DPT), so that assessment is way off. In computer systems and networking, it's the lower level jobs that DON'T require a BA/BS that are being offshored. So, higher levels of education are required to be competitive here. It's not 1999 when everyone and their neighbor was getting a low-level certificate to be an IT administrator and taking home big bucks. The comment about for-profit colleges was also a sweeping generalization. There are many that provide a better ROI when you consider their unique programs/curriculum, and many others that outperform non-profit colleges on job placement and learning outcomes. However, I agree due diligence is necessary and not all are created equal.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:37PM ET
Overall: 2/5
Education is only half the story, train a monkey to stack up boxes to reach a banana and the monkey will never realize there's other fruits besides bananas. I never finished college, was never the smartest one in school but I was motivated, driven and determined to make it somewhere. I worked hard and am now reaping the rewards of my hard work. Making a 6 figure salary at a privately held healthcare organization, while doing outside consulting work as a side job. I learned everything I know thru discovery, hands on experience and training thru co-workers and others. People gave me the opportunities because they saw my determination, motivation and my dedication to do the very best that I can do. There is absolutely nothign wrong with the cookie cutter approach to life, doing everything as you are told to do and everything as it is in the standard cookie cutter design. I took the road no one wanted to travel and made something out of it. I believe that the challenges I had to overcome because of this choice is something a 4 year degree in college can not compare with.
Erin - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:23PM ET
Overall: 3/5
My man Albert Einstein said it best: "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. " If you focus on the $$$ your life will be miserable. Find work in a field you are passionate about....if you need a degree for that work then go get one. If not then college is a total waste of time and an even bigger waste of $$$. If you love your job you will be successful in every area of your life including financially.
Erin - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:23PM ET
Overall: 3/5
My man Albert Einstein said it best: "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. " If you focus on the $$$ your life will be miserable. Find work in a field you are passionate about....if you need a degree for that work then go get one. If not then college is a total waste of time and an even bigger waste of $$$. If you love your job you will be successful in every area of your life including financially.
lper98 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:15PM ET
Overall: 5/5
One can get an excellent education at most local public colleges. It is important to have good study skills and to be very well organized. After your first job, employers do not care where you went to school, only on the skills you bring to the job. Written by a college grad with lots of work experience.
wjwildcats97 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:14PM ET
Overall: 1/5
The lifetime earnings spread is old news. I would like someone to acknowledge the cause-effect relation behind those numbers. Crude Example: take a moron, give him a degree from Harvard and he is still a moron and will likely earn moron wages. Take a brilliant driven person with no degree and they will still have above average earnings. The fact of the matter is on the average smarter more driven people go to and finish college. It is not the education or the degree that is making them more money than their lazier stupider counterparts. Most of these higher caliber individuals would have had higher earnings regardless of their degree.
busycapital - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:10PM ET
Overall: 2/5
I have 2 Masters Degrees, one in Law and one in Finance and I am unemployed. In the old days the upper class need an education so that they could set themsleves above normal people. Now, the upper class tells you that if you pay 30K a year for an education, all your dreams will come true. Education is just another way for the upper class to stay rich. I learned it the hard way.
Doogie - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:00PM ET
Overall: 4/5
Not all colleges are created equal and certainly not all degrees are created equal. An engineering or math or quantitative heavy business degree will indicate a person who has a higher aptitude and is more likely to perform at a superior level to his/her peers. A liberal arts degree, especially in fill-in-the-blank studies, is no more an indicator of post high school aptitude than high school itself. Same is true for most private schools that no one has ever heard of (and some that we've all heard of). If you want a return on your investment (stripping away the ancillary value of college) then get a degree in a major that is employable. Also, the network you develop in college can be one of your greatest assets and sources of employment, which in very valuable at a name brand college and worthless at a non-namebrand college. As for the commentors that think an apprenticeship with an electrician or similar is a better route than college, consider the friends you will make, the spouse you'll end up with, and the lifestyle you'll be resigned to. The money may be similar to a white collar profession (banking, management, etc.) but it's a lower class life inhabited by lower class people. It's also permanent...a doctor can always be a carpenter but a carpenter can never be a doctor. Overall, I like the premise of the article. There are too many people pursuing useless degrees at worthless colleges, many of which are drowning in debt to do so. But it's not my life, so who cares?
aventorini1 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:58PM ET
Overall: 5/5
Great article!! One of the many myths of attending college is that a college degree can guarantee you success or a job. Your work ethic and talents guarantee your success in your financial life, not a college degree! I have a masters degree in social work, and a husband who flunked out of college and is now working in construction. At my highest paying social work job, my husband still made more money than I did. Now, I know that social work isn't a high paying job. And I am grateful for that degree because going to college taught me a lot about myself, and the knowledge I gained far outweighed the costs of that degree. However, I truly believe that the reason why my non-college degree husband is so successful is because he picked a talent he liked, and that he is good at, and he capitalized on it. I know a man who just received his MBA and has never worked in his life. I have a feeling that this individual will have a very hard time finding a good paying job to pay off those loans, because he has no working experience. I'm not saying that he will never find a job, I'm just saying that it will obviously be difficult for him. You cannot gain knowledge about real life from a textbook, you do that through experience and through working (internships, etc) at your profession of choice!! I also know of another person who is paying over $40,000 a year for her daughter's education, to which her major is in theatre. They have so much other debt. They don't have any money for retirement, and they put off fixing their leaking roof for 5 years, and now as a result they have major wood damage on their roof. My husband had to up the bid on the work to an additional $2000 so they can fix the wood-- and guess what, they don't have the $2000!! Talk about your financial priorities being messed up!! College is great, but it isn't everything! Thanks for a very informative article!!
sagrious - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:55PM ET
Overall: 4/5
This is the only time I've seen someone actually look at the cost/benefit relationship of paying for college. I think the 28% figure is misleading, since many companies would hire someone with a degree over someone without one even if it's not required. But it was a good article.
pchemsuks - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:54PM ET
Overall: 2/5
Anya fails to mention the difference between the BS (Bachelor of Science) and the BA (Bachelor of Arts). Neither nurses nor PTs want a BA. These degrees lack the science courses required for better pay and can hinder advancement. This is an important designation for engineers and other professional degrees. The education you receive at college is valuable, the name of the college is not except for the Ivy League and very few others (Stanford, eg.).
briyotya - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:45PM ET
Overall: 2/5
I went to college in engineering and it is worth it, however, I know lots of people, including my own children where it is more important WHAT degree you pursue, rather than just going to college. Lots of peopel with degrees in english, history, general studies, etc end up managing a Mcdonalds or something like that. Some one pointed out many of our most successful people never went to college or didnt finish, like Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Sam Walton, etc. I think it is more important what you study if you go to college, not just going that counts.
mdb - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:37PM ET
Overall: 2/5
This article started off poor and recovered slightly towards the end. Repetitive ideas at best. One part that I found exceptionally poor was an inexpensive associate degree earning you a rewarding job as a physical therapist. I don't know what part of the country you did your research in, but you cannot become a registered phyical therapist in my part of the country with a 2-year degree. PT assistant MAYBE, but that does not pay nearly as much. Many schools are now requiring a DPT for physical therapists. Requiring 6 1/2 years of school. Yes, PTs are underpaid so they will remain in middle-class, but it's by no means inexpensive to addend college for it. Also: carpenter and plumber: you do not need an associate's degree for those occupations; and implying that an associate's degree will land you a job as a database administrator or a sales manager is grossly misleading. On the other hand, having a 4-year degree might land you a decent paying job writing poor articles for Yahoo! Anya, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that while you were trying to build "stronger relationships" you fail to pay attention in your research class, but you passed anyway because the degree you went for was a cake-walk.
none - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:30PM ET
Overall: 5/5
I rate it five. As anya did a fine job reviewing to readers the pros and cons of college that are relevant to each individual's needs in life. Now, take one step back everyone. Think about the richest people on earth. They are drop-outs (Bill Gates), not-very-highly-educated (Carlos Slim) & (Li Ka Shing). Now, think about who are the middle class: those with BA degrees. But, not very rich. Okay, what does education 'mostly' gives 'the majority' of us? The thinking that we work hard for money 'for our entire life' that we will be rewarded with a higher paying job. All that we think are 'jobs, job, & more jobs'. What do the richest people on earth do? They invest.... School doesn't teach one how to handle his money, how to handle relationship, how to handle social problems. Else, our nation today would be a much better one then when it was first founded by our 4 fathers. Take one step back & think: is education really really that good for everybody. Anya did a good job. Not everyone need higher education if his conceptual advance is already more advance than what the higher education can teach him. Say, why suffer 4 more years in school if becoming a floor trader gives you $150,000 plus per year already? College: the majority of people's thinking for safe route. But, there is always a few out of the ordinary who succeed without a formal higher educationl.
Cindy - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:30PM ET
Overall: 3/5
I understand that this is a finance column and so the emphasis is on the monetary rewards that can come with a degree. Still, it must be said that the real, lasting, valuable product of a good college degree is the ability to think. Learning to think critically, much more than the skills needed to perform a specific career, is the treasure that lasts a lifetime and enhances all of life, through the working years and well into retirement.
Mike - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:02PM ET
Overall: 5/5
This is a great article and worthy food for thought. I think the overlooked aspect though is the focus on the individual knowing what they want to do prior to embarking on a formal educational experience. Forever I have wondered why secondary schooling curriculums may teach many subjects both complex and arcane but leave actual career strategy development and planning to a voluntary basis. Knowing what you want to do is half the battle and that 57% percent college dropout figure would disintegrate if solid career development was mandatory in schools. Another thing that makes formal education more obsolete is that thirty years ago to be successful they was a larger window of opportunity in corporate America which required the degree as a gate keeping device. Now the focus is on more nimble, small-time operators which ask for real world technical skills and some street smarts more so than a manufactured education. Undergraduate work is invaluable but is only worth the risk and investment if you know with reasonable certainty where it is going to take you.
bitrcollegegradd - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:01PM ET
Overall: 2/5
College is overrated and over priced. It all comes down the individual and how they were raised. The truth about college is that it is sold as being necessary but in reality it is a quasi status symbol/right of passage. My favorite part about college was watching the sheltered over achievers loose their minds and get into drugs and sex. Nothing better than getting a phone call from your perfect child 2 ½ years into that ivy league education to find out they’ve changed majors or are pregnant.
slappin_nuts - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:53PM ET
Overall: 5/5
One of the best articles considering higher education I have read in a long time. I would challenge Anya to dig deeper into the Community Colleges. As I understand the numbers I have heard -- granted they may be dated -- the community college route serves those who go on to pursue four-year degrees at universities better than those students who go directly to universities and colleges. More CC graduates graduate from four-year schools as a percentage than do those who do not have CC behind them. Where community colleges may not rate is their overall graduation rates which are going to be heavily biased due to the population they serve. Any good student would certainly be wise to take the CC route to higher education if they are value conscience. Bravo for an excellent article.
bogeymanlsl - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:50PM ET
Overall: 4/5
this is a very interesting topic that i discussed with my parents and siblings. having graduated from the university of maryland, i would say that college is a great experience. however, from a financial standpoint it would depend on how you approach the situation. I like to think that college can be broken down into 2 aspects. One is tuition, books and anything else that goes along with class. If you are instate and commute. the cost of college is minimal and would most likely benefit you in the long run. However, if you go out of state to get the same education you could have received in state or live on campus instead of commute when it is still possible to commute, i would say that part of college expense should be looked at as a vacation expense. This part in no way helps your future other than the networking and life changing experience college life has to offer. Additionally, the major you pursue has a large role in the value of your education. I majored in accounting, a field that upon graduation will give you a great opportunity for a high paying career. However, for those that majored in something they wouldnt pursue or majored in something with no concrete job application such as communication, I dont know how much the college education is really worth to that person. In conclusion, i think you cant go wrong attending an instate college and majoring in something concrete that will clearly help you get the job you desire.
rationalist_98 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:50PM ET
Overall: 2/5
If going to College pays for itself, why should Joe Six Pack who didn't go subsidize Anya who went? The answer is he should not, and Anya should spare us all the constant moaning and groaning about debt. No one forced her to go to Yale and to pick a liberal arts major. She should have gone to a public University and studied medicine or engineering. Choices have consequences. Stop whining and trying to pass onto others the costs of poor decisions you made.
bonescat - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:38PM ET
Overall: 4/5
Public colleges are a great deal, and they provide the most options. Having a degree has been a great investment. It provides so many options. While some friends from high school raved about their wages and tips when I was in school, they are paying for it now. They look so worn down now, and their wages are basically the same. They are now going into foreclosure on their homes. Go to college!
HR Dir - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:38PM ET
Overall: 5/5
College is worth only what you get out of the time and effort spent. I know a lot of people who went to college, dropped out, or just didn't like their degree and did NOTHING with their education. They would have been better off following this advice rather than going off to college with their parents footing the bill - or worse, taking on debt for a useless education. I earned my BA in 4 years working 36 - 48 hours per week to get tuition assistance from my employer 80%and had my MBA paid for 100% by my employers. No debt. But this isn't practical for everyone. My brother who is about to turn 30 will graduate with his BA next year after years of figuring out what he wanted to do... Since he didn't know at age 18, kudos to him for finding a path and direction without waisting a degree early on. My only regret is that I didn't do something like Peace Corps or AmeriCorps before, during or after college. Since I made the most of my education, maybe when I retire at 40?
alankerrymd - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:29PM ET
Overall: 5/5
The article points to an important question: the cost/benefit analysis of paying outrageous tuitions for private schools that will yield a pitiful starting salary for its graduates and not really offer any career mobility by itself. Without naming a specific school, think of a small, 4-year private college in New England that costs over $35K a year to attend. If the school is mediocre (that is, not very difficult to get into and not widely known outside the state it is in), most employers will know that it is a school for mediocre students (and mediocre potential employees). As a result, these students will get low-paying, high-stress, high-burn out jobs when they graduate with little chance for promotion. If they start by making $30K a year, they are better off having their parents put the "college fund" money into a mutual fund and giving them the money in 30 years when they retire. Unfortunately, there are too many below average students getting Bachelor degrees these days which dilute their significance and earning power.
bca0714 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:20PM ET
Overall: 5/5
I can't believe the negative comments on this article. Anya, I think you did a great job in weighing out the financial implications of going to college, delaying college, or not going at all. It says right at the beginning of the article that you are biased toward attending college, and that you would only discuss the financial aspects of the story here. People here will criticize you no matter what you say, so don't let it bother you. I think everyone would agree that attending college is an excellent opportunity to learn and grow as a person, but if you can't afford it, it's good to know that you can still be successful. Also the point about not going if you don't know what you want to do is very valuable, especially for those with limited resources.
fbs613 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:19PM ET
Overall: 2/5
advice for young people: Unless you are "REALLY" smart (i.e. Ivy type material) or someone else is paying the bill, don't waste time on college. Become a plumber or electrician, or something else of that sort. A good plumber makes more money than most professionals anyway. So unless you are going to be a doctor, dentist, or big firm lawyer, forget the whole thing and go for plumbing or the like
olalab - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:09PM ET
Overall: 3/5
I guess the bottom-line of this article is that if you are a below-to-average student without moms and pups money and you do not represent a minority population, you may be just better off continuing "flipping your burgers", then continuing "flipping your burgers" and paying off huge student debts.
Nick Name - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 12:07PM ET
Overall: 2/5
Other than that the articles she writes are mostly stating the obvious and indicates ones doesnt need to go to college to write articles for Yahoo. She looks like an angry lesbian type, in a hot sort of way, that would be good in "Something About Mary: 2"
valhalla360 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:56AM ET
Overall: 2/5
She seems to have glossed over the mathamatical portion entirely. She compared two 40 year careers. A more accurate comparison would be a 40 vs 36 year career (35 or 34 is more realistic considering 5 & 6 year students). She never clarified if the $1.2 million is a straight salery comparison, adjusted for inflation, or accounting for compound interest over time. The intangibles are hard to assess, but unless you are going into a high paying field, the money often doesn't justify the cost.
cab997 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:54AM ET
Overall: 2/5
There are a number of attractive career choices that offer good prospects for earning an above average income that do not require a degree (electricians, plumbers, contractors, etc.). Most college-educated (heavily indebted) readers have probably shelled out a pretty penny for "trade" work and wondered who really got the better deal.
elmatto1234 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:47AM ET
Overall: 1/5
A very empty article. Doesn't really say anything.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:42AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Very good job, real information instead of the unrealistic assertions and random musings of RTK and Trunk. Refreshing.
hwunger - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:37AM ET
Overall: 3/5
good article, but do only college grads enjoy "...widening cultural horizons and developing critical thinking, civic participation, healthier living, and stronger relationships..." ??? .... a little biased aren't we hmmmm ?
Jim - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:15AM ET
Overall: 3/5
I think the answer to "Should I go to college?" needs to be Yes for just about every young person. I believe that most young people are incapable of making "solo" life decisions when they're still in high school. At age 14-17 we're just too sequestered, living at home and following the rules and norms of our parents to rightfully conclude, "oh, I thought about it and decided I don't need to attend college". Take my word for it, an undergraduate college experience is a crucial development experience, for many of the reasons Anya highlighted. That said, I don't feel the same way about graduate school. How many people are piling on the debt to go to grad school, or uprooting their families to attend grad school in some distant state. I'm not sure the long-term benefits typically outweigh the costs. Attending grad school locally, and with the discipline of your household budget, is probably the best choice. Disclosure: I have two graduate degrees.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:14AM ET
Overall: 2/5
The issue of job satisfaction and the lifestyle associated with degree-requiring jobs is overlooked completely in this analysis. A naive attempt to measure the value of higher education and other complex life choices in dollars and interest rates is typical of young age or young-age mentality. Values change substantially as we progress in life.
wonko - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 11:02AM ET
Overall: 5/5
Good information about the financial side of the decision to attend college or not.
jtoour1 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:59AM ET
Overall: 1/5
The last 3 paragraphs says it all.
groblix - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:52AM ET
Overall: 1/5
I hate when people act like the only purpose of a higher education is to make more money. I've never managed to reap much financial return on my substantial investments in education, but I am far richer for having received the gift of knowledge. College is not vocational school.
Paul O - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:45AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Well done.
peterverbeke - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:42AM ET
Overall: 2/5
I agree with bfrykman's comment about the huge correlation between people that are going to be successful anyway and those that go to college. However his Net Present Value of money argument is not correct. He should consider that in 40 years the earnings difference will also amount to a lot more than the 1.2 million.
dp_mich - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:37AM ET
Overall: 3/5
There's alot of good information in this article that can benefit a great many people - including PARENTS. However, I believe it is highly worth considering the growth of 80k (the current cost of a 4 year degree at MSU)- in the market, instead of using it to pay for school. Now consider that growth at, say, approximately 9% (the market has actually averaged 12% over the last 40 years) over the next 40 years = a cool 2.888 million at retirement. That beats the college students total earnings by 1.6 and some change. If you take into account the 134k private school, and do the same math, the non college student beats the grad by 3.6 million. Moral of the story, give the kids the money instead, in a secure trust fund, let them party on the weekends at the college of their choice, while they find jobs and work as well - who knows what they may dream up given the time to think entrepreneurial at a youthful age. It's worth thinking about for sure, especially given the unknowns of the future. That being said, all four of my kids are going to college. But, Im starting to wonder??? - thx for reading, good article Anya!
ag55gen - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:33AM ET
Overall: 2/5
Large state schools do a poor job because of the type of faculty and the type of students they attract. The student bodies are interested in the parties. The faculty members are interested in the research. Neither group is interested in undergraduate education. You should understand your own intelligence level before deciding what career to pursue and how to pursue it. Your intelligence is mostly a fixed feature by the time you are 18. If you are in the top 5% of intelligence, then you should probably by a doctor, lawyer, MBA, etc. If you are of average intelligence, you just aren't going to have those options no matter how much education you attempt to undertake.
theeasylife80 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:22AM ET
Overall: 3/5
I graduated in 2006 and had about two years of professional "post-intern" job experience under my belt by the time i graduated. Well, most places still only want to hire you as a freelancer (I'm a writer) and then they ask you to do a million other things for them at severely reduced pay. Living in the northeast, it's especially frustrating because, at 23, i have to take on several different clients to make due and I hardly have enough to buy my own place with these exorbitant and maliciously overpriced real estate costs. if someone had told me, at 18, that going to college would only increase my base pay rate by about $5 an hour, I would've skipped it altogether.
lrking1 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:20AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Finally, someone bucking the trend and questioning the college as a must have for everyone. There are alternatives if you're not the academic-type; follow your heart into a rewarding career and know that you can always make changes as your life changes.
bfrykman - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:20AM ET
Overall: 1/5
Here is the problem with her analysis. First people who successfully negociate the planning, time commitment, and financial commitment of attaining a college degree would probably fare much better in life regardless of whether they obtained a degree or not. The person, therefore, and not the degree is the salient issue in lifetime earnings. Then there is the time value of the money involved. Assuming that one did not need to borrow the cash, which is a very bad idea in the first place, lets look the return on $133,000 invested at 7% for 40 years ( a working lifetime). The return is almost $2,000,000, far exceeding the statistical earnings increase figure that was stated by the author. Additionally, if one enters the workforce four to five years earliers instead of spending the time in college and used that opportunity to save then the figures become more skewed against the value of a college degree. If one goes to college to acquire otherwise very difficult to learn skills that have real value in the job market then go for it. If the object is merely to "get a degree" then you are on the wrong track and you will be wasting your time, your energy and your cash that would be far better used elsewhere. Careers that "require a degree" but require no other demonstrable talent will be low paying regardless of the degree obtained. Most top earners are entrepanuers and a college degree is simply a waste of time for people who would rather set an agenda than to follow one.
Limeaid - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:08AM ET
Overall: 3/5
You should talk to Penelope Trunk about what college means to her. She is an imbecile when it comes to being prepared for a life of work.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:06AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Good story, makes sense. I think the important part is the additional earnings an educated person will earn. 30 years from now retirement benefit may be gone and it will be entirely up to the worker. The extra dollars an education will yield is relevant. Education doesn't always have to be expensive. there are community colleges and employers who will pay for you to attend. Young adults who may be intimidated by college should not be. It's not about how fast you finish, but that you finish..
Ben D - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 10:02AM ET
Overall: 3/5
In response to klarich73 who comments on other countries schools being free... they may be free to students, but not everyone can go. Often selection is determined by who you know or scoring at a certain level on a test. In the US anyone who has the drive can go to a college, community or state, thanks to scholarships, grants, and/or loans. This is much prefereable to being told well you didnt score high enough so here is you burger flipper have a nice life. That being said the "expert" needs to do more research. Being in the IT field the only way to be a DBA or Network System administrator without a bachelor's degree is to have 10 years experience, basically the people who were working before there was a degree for this and learned it on the job. Even with that experience though it is challenging for them to move up and God forbid they try and leave their existing company cause most wont look twice at them.
alaura_denon - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:59AM ET
Overall: 3/5
This is better than most of your articles as you stayed on point and didn't bring the free lunch into it. However, I think you should address another aspect to higher education than just earning potential. I remember looking at the 10 richest people of the world last year and taking note that of the top five three had no college degree. Indeed Bill Gates who held the top spot for many years is a college drop out. So earning potential is not the sole reason for a degree. Having a college education myself (which I paid for whithout grants or loans) I can say that it is a broadening experience. Being exposed to other cultures, and people tends to take away prejudice. You are generally better at communication and working in a group setting. College is about learning, and what you really do in college is "Learn to learn." People who have been to college learn at a better rate than those who haven't. Having been in the manufacturing industry for fifteen years and trained many thousands of people I can tell you that it is much easier to train someone with college experience, even if they didn't graduate, than someone who has never attended. That is not to say that a person can't excel if they haven't been to college, there are exceptions, but the odds are better for those with at least some college experience. It is also about performing work that is rewarding in terms of personal satisfaction and not just monetary. Some of the lowest paid are our nations educators. These teachers usually choose their profession for personal reasons more than financial gain. And they are required to complete a BA to have the priveledge. They are also required to complete continueing education classes to keep their certification, all while earning a salary which is at the bottom end of the professional line up, and far less than many factory workers with no education. So Anya, write a column about the quality reasons to attend college, life is not all about money.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:57AM ET
Overall: 4/5
This is the first article she has written I mostly agreed with. Also most proffesionals out there don't think about how much some of these other jobs make. Say in CA were I live if you leave HS and become an apprentace Lines Man for the Electric CO. you will earn close to $60K straight time. This will increase to near $100K in 4 years. If you go to college and get a libral arts degree you will never catch up or earn as much. Other skilled trades pay well too. Not everyone needs to go to college.
James G - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:57AM ET
Overall: 1/5
I'm still stuck on the fact that this person is the EXPERT voice of my generation. She who has bad credit because she cannot budget and learn to use money. What a decadent thing for Yahoo to do. Light bulb moment---- I know lets let the blind lead the blind. While we're at it how bout a column from Lyndsey Lohan and Paris Hilton on morals and building the perfect family life. Budgeting is easy or at least it should be to one of our nations greatest financial minds. Maybe if she gets ratings low enough she will be asked to move on and they can fill her space with someone who isn't doing just like everyone else out there living in debt. Just because she has a job and book that will pay her enough to get out of debt does not cancel out the fact that she had no idea how to use money before she made much. She would not be successful if she wasn't telling people how she thought they could be successful. Well... maybe she's pretty enough to become the Brittany Spears of finance. To arouse the public interest without talent or a mind is now the American Dream. Live it for us all pretty girl who cannot budget and we will love you for it.
DennisAOK - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:53AM ET
Overall: 4/5
At the high end, studies have shown that going to a better state university has a greater financial payoff than an Ivy League school. At the low end, one needs to be careful. In my business we hired a young guy a few years ago with a BBA whose command of English (his mother tongue) grammar and spelling stopped at about the sixth grade. As another reader pointed out, standards have been watered down.
phillynails - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:48AM ET
Overall: 2/5
I think Anya needs to do a little more fact checking, at least regarding the field of physical therapy. You can become a physical therapy assistant with an Associates degree, not a physical therapist.
dannyboy - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:38AM ET
Overall: 5/5
anya is not single. she is a yale graduate... and i don't agree with all of her work, but she is 100 times more informative than ms. trunk
avgjoedaddy - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:26AM ET
Overall: 3/5
It was refreshing to hear an alternative voice to "education, education, education". I returned to college at 40 and have been disappointed with the quality of instruction. Most courses are crammed with way too much material, the profs show up to class with little preparation and a bleeping Powerpoint presentation, and students are basically teaching themselves. Classroom time is essentially wasted and would be better spent reading the gazillion chapters. Then we pay pay pay. Tuition is high, and now they charge hundreds of dollars of "junk fees". I'm paying athletic fee, health fee, parking fee, etc this semester and I'm an online student!! I protested and the University's reply: "We are authorized by the Board of Regents to charge these fees. You can take your complaints to them". OK then. All that complaining, I think it's best to obtain a degree. I agree with Anya would warn anyone to think very seriously about getting into huge sums education debt. The University system is a bastion of arrogance and they don't respond quickly to the needs of their constituents because the don't have too. The value they offer is hit and miss at best. For those of you who don't know what to do, get a Business degree or a Nursing Degree at a reasonable price. While Business or Nursing may not be your career, everyone engages in business and health issues all their life. Both degrees are great foundation to build a life around.
Andrew N - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:20AM ET
Overall: 3/5
While it hits some good points, I wish she would have focused more on the community college aspect. In many states (Florida being where I live), receiving a two year associate degree guarantees your acceptance into a state college, with it treated as your first 2 years. Not to mention, the cost is about 1/3rd, and it give you time to change your mind 10 times about where your life is going to end.
G - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:06AM ET
Overall: 5/5
'User at 8:12 am'...read the last paragraph of the article. And other commenters, please consider how one could 'add more' and delve into details when the length of the article must be limited to appeal to short attention spans. Let's all ease up a bit and commend good advice for what it is.
vovka91 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 9:01AM ET
Overall: 1/5
This is a terrible analysis of colleges. How is Anya getting paid to spit this garbage out? Better colleges do a better job of graduating you??? NO! Better students go to better colleges... thus they graduate themselves at a higher rate. Cost - benefit analysis of college??? Anya should have done this for herself, I mean after all, she is a columnist, and they get paid crap. What kind of cost/benefit analysis did she do when she decided her major?? Why would anyone in their right mind take advice from her? She is clearly a writer that went to college, without any fundamental business knowledge... Maybe she should just go back abroad if she recommends it so much.
onejohny - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:56AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Mostly very good article with a few errors. The one that comes to mind is the highest paying BA degrees (engineering/computer science) mentioned are actually BS degrees.
Femme Fatale - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:53AM ET
Overall: 2/5
You really need to back up some of your assertions with facts. "Huge public colleges" don't have lower graduation rates, and if they do, then compared to what? Huge publics tend to get better qualified students than less-reputed schools and hence have BETTER graduation rates.
jdude - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:53AM ET
Overall: 3/5
Maryfoltyn is shortsighted. How employable is she? College certainly helps in this regard and opens up chances for advancement. Given the likeliehood for lost earnings by not having a degree, leading to lost retirement savings and the fact that $385,000 will be worth a lot less by retirement time (don't get me wrong - that's a nice chunk, but not enough to maintain what most people would consider a nice middle class living), be wary of her comments. Yes, there are people who do very well without a degree - witness several entrepeneurs - but that's not for everyone and you certainly can't count on success. And yes, the Millionaire Next Door tells us that having one's own non-glamorous business can put them at the top of the wealth heap, it's not for everyone and may provide much less intellectual challenge than many would like. Maybe not going to college worked out very well for her, and great if it did and if this is the path you really want to take, but be careful of generalizing her comments - college opens a lot of doors and on average gives one many more options.
taopraxis - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:51AM ET
Overall: 2/5
Many years ago, maybe 5-10% of the population went to college. They were a select group and most were very intelligent. If 50% of the population now goes to college, you know immediately that college is not what it used to be. Many universities that were once academic hallmarks are now little more than profit-oriented degree mills run by corrupt bureaucratic types. Bottome line, everyone cannot get rich doing the same thing. But, by all means go to college. It is an interesting experience. Just make sure someone else pays for it. If you really belong in college for academic purposes, you should not have to pay, anyway.
Steven - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:41AM ET
Overall: 4/5
A lot better than usual. However, she focuses on the graduation rate of public vs private schools a bit too much. It isn't that the private schools do a "better job" of graduating students, it is the type of students who go to private schools vs public schools. On average, more motivated students of better financial means are more likely to go to private schools, so it shouldn't be surprising that a higher percentage of those students graduate.
swmod52 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:39AM ET
Overall: 5/5
This is an excellent analysis of the current state of college today. Reading it brought into sharp focus the tough decisions I made when I was in college both financial and otherwise. Reading her article I'm also reminded of a girl I met just after winter break my freshmen year. Her roomate was always at the library and we spent a lot of time together alone in her room. Yes the good old days
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:38AM ET
Overall: 2/5
This column was "light" at best and clearly nothing new. And my guess is that largely she is "preaching to the choir" as most of her audience probably are either college grads or at least understand the benefits of higher education. Somewhat ironically, the article sounded like it was written by someone with very little "world experience" but rather someone who just got out of college and did some research to support her decision and to convince herself that her student loan payments are worth the cost. The true benefits of an undergraduate degree are something that you don't fully appreciate until after you graduate - sometimes long after. I'm glad that she mentioned (albeit briefly) the intangibles of college education. She should also have gone into more depth of the differences between private and public schools (or more accurately small private schools vs. large state schools). Much is gained by attending classes that may have a dozen or fewer students as opposed to a lecture hall with 200. The economic analysis was generally accurate, although she didn't really mention the opportunity cost of both tuition dollars and the time spent in the classroom. When it comes down to it, a financial analysis of college vs. no college is a bit pointless - or at best it is 1-dimensional - as it is hard to put a dollar sign on the benefits of higher education. Ultimately, the money one makes - either after college, or instead of college - has more to do with the person's ambition and goals. There are thousands of entrepreneurs and small business owners out there (Bill Gates to name one) who chose a path other than college and make far more than I do with a Masters. Then again there are some who are content to work at lower wage jobs for the freedom it affords them (i.e. not "taking their job home with them"). I'll be interested in seeing Anya's article on grad school. My guess is that her conclusion will coincide with her situation (if she has an advanced degree, she will recommend one to her readers) but we'll see. My take on an advanced degree is that they are important for someone who needs one to specifically perform their job or to advance in their career. Nothing new there either.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:12AM ET
Overall: 3/5
Generally this is a good subject and she does bring up some valid points. However I agree that she has not put enough research in regarding the actually education levels required for particular careers, and also did not factor in the opportunity cost of attending college. If you work those four years vs. acquiring debt and invest, etc. It will take a college grad longer to 'catch up', not to mention now that person has 4 years of experience in their trade that will raise their income level. I am an advocate for higher education but I also think entering a trade or occupation that pays well and doesn't require a degree can often be just as high paying and rewarding. I would have liked to have seen some numbers on advanced degrees and to what effect those are worth the cost.
josephrbook - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:06AM ET
Overall: 3/5
A nice read, but one point Anya: based on your first few articles, it wasn't "obvious" that you went to college.
A Publius in training - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:05AM ET
Overall: 3/5
A nice surprise, a well written and thought out column today. However, I do take exception to, "But keep in mind that having to transfer from a two-year to a four-year school makes it more difficult to graduate. More-selective institutions generally do a better job graduating their students, too." Transferring does NOT make graduation more difficult. One must to their homework before taking classes to know how and if the credits will transfer. Some states, AZ that I know of, have agreements in place between all state schools so figuring out what classes to take where can be determined before ever starting. More selective institution do a better job of graduating students? I'd love to see some stats on that. In my experience, attendance drops off significantly after the fall term. Show us the numbers Anya.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 8:03AM ET
Overall: 4/5
Good general evaluation. To the comment from Mary, I think you need to go to college
Tom Brown - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 7:18AM ET
Overall: 4/5
An honest evaluation - Very good for a non-engineer!
klarich73 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 6:38AM ET
Overall: 4/5
I think it is great to question the system that endebts college students to this extent. While in other countries university is free, the burden put on US-students is huge and a globalized job market gives no guarantees that these "investments" will ever get paid back in terms of higher salaries. A system that gives positive ratings to students just based on the name of their university is close to corrupt. I would recommend to pick a "cheap" school, learn as hard as possible, soak up every bit of knowledge accessible from books and lectures and then get into a job without a huge debt burden but as a free man/woman. And: spend a semester in a foreign country to learn another language.
maryfoltyn - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 6:32AM ET
Overall: 1/5
My parents let me live at home and gave me the cost of college, I added to that money four years of work, while investing everything now I have $385,000.00 invested that I would not have if I went to college for four years. Does anyone ever factor in the income I will receive from this for the rest of my life when they say going to college pays higher. Mary
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 4:21AM ET
Overall: 5/5
I've just read the title, actually. Wow! Yahoo for kids! I like it.
Jeff L - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 4:14AM ET
Overall: 5/5
This was a bold article. Ms. Kamenetz looked at the facts and came to some conclusions that were beyond the standard mantra - education, education, education. Perhaps she could have mentioned that education is always worth it, in terms not measurable in dollars, if we really apply ourselves. However, she does imply that fairly strongly. Overall, an honest article that gives college bound, or those thinking about enrolling sometime in the future, some general (yet specific enough) information/perspectives to consider.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 3:25AM ET
Overall: 2/5
Physical Therapy requires a DPT these days and comes out to about 7 years of schooling. It is by no means a "middle-class" career and no one becomes more than an assistant with only an associate's.
a013452 - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 2:02AM ET
Overall: 1/5
There are at least a couple of errors in her column I'd like to address. First, when one compares the numbers, one needs to fully account for the time value of money. For an intelligent, motivated person entering the craft trades, and avoiding college debt, and earning near six figures, about when a college graduate would be entering the workforce, the (properly discounted) free cash flow difference might be quite compelling. Second, as a DBA, I have run into no one in my field that only has an AS (or less). Most have BS degrees, and many have masters degrees. I don't think this lady does adequate research. I think Yahoo should pull her byline. She doesn't do her homework.
Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 1:52AM ET
Overall: 2/5
she is wrong about some of the jobs and the level of education they require. physical therapy requires an bachelor's degree and a DPT (doctor of physical therapy) not just an associate degree.
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