America’s ‘cheapest family’: ‘We are hope and change’
Economides clan defend buying aging meat and other frugal strategies
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39416868/ns/today-today_people/
As the American economy sputters and families continue to struggle mightily just to keep their heads above water, the Economides family of Arizona believe they provide a model for how to not just survive, but thrive on a tight budget.
Eschewing credit cards, car loans and home equity borrowing, the clan of seven stay solvent and then some on just $44,000 a year — and that includes owning a home in the pricey Phoenix suburb of Scottsdale.
Mind you, they eat nutritious meals and their children are decked out in stylish, brand-name clothes. The key to living well for less, they say, is to search for bargains, avoid impulse buying and plan, plan, plan.
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The Economides, who have been living up to their billing as “America’s Cheapest Family” since 1982, recently published the latest in their series of fun-while-frugal household tips, this time focusing on what is often a budget-buster for families: the grocery store. Their book, “Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half — With America’s Cheapest Family,” is on bookstore shelves now.
Read an excerpt from ‘Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half’
Hope and spare change
“We are the hope and change of America,” family matriarch Annette Economides told Matt Lauer Wednesday, as her husband, Steve, and daughters Abbey, 16, and Becky, 26, looked on. “With the unemployment rate where it is today, I believe that our books can allow families to not have to live on two incomes.”
NBC cameras followed the Economides through a typical grocery shopping expedition. Before entering the store, Steve and Annette sat down at the dining room table and pored over food coupons, eyeing their cost-cutting prey like hungry lions. Annette used sales as a guide to planning 30 days of family meals before the family headed out the door.
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Related: ‘Cheapest’ mom shares tips for frugal family-feeding
Want tips on lowering your grocery bill? E-mail us your questions
The Economides feed their brood on an average of $350 a month, even though Annette says she knows similarly sized families that put out $2,000 a month. Steve marches down the aisles with calculator in hand, comparing unit prices. His eyes light up when he peruses the meat section and finds several cuts nearing their expiration dates, which he scoops up.
“I’m sure that people probably get squeamish over that,” Lauer commented on that part of the prerecorded segment. But Steve Economides wasn’t having it. “We’re talking about being smart,” he told Lauer. “If you look at the meat and the color is right, there’s no juice around it, it looks fine; it’s probably safe to buy.”
Video: Slash your grocery bill with America’s cheapest family (on this page)
He also noted restaurants charge premium prices for aged beef. Lauer grinned and said, “Aged beef is different than old beef, isn’t it?”
TODAY
The Economides family have had an average income of $44,000 per year over the past 26 years.
Time is money
The taped segment showed the Economides taking their purchases home, grinding and slicing food for themselves (because it’s cheaper than letting the grocery store do it for you), and stowing it in the freezer. Lauer commented that all the coupon clipping, meal planning, price comparisons and food preparation seemed exhausting. But Annette said that time is money: “I tell people that if they are not taking any time to plan to feed their family, I guarantee you that they are spending more time than I am.”
Video: ‘Life is good’ for frugal family (on this page)
Even when they go out to eat, the Economides take great pains to get the most for their money. As cameras followed the family through a Chinese all-you-can eat buffet, Annette crammed a takeout Styrofoam container to just short of the breaking point. “We stuff a container full of food, we bring it home and it will feed us for several meals,” she explained.
The family are old hands at stretching a dollar. When Steve and Annette married in 1982 — also a time of a major U.S. recession — they made a pact to maintain a debt-free home and not indulge in extravagance.
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The proof is in the pudding: They paid cash for their late-model cars, paid their first home off in just nine years and, most importantly, raised five healthy, happy kids while never going into debt.
Their 26-year-old daughter, Becky, told Lauer that her family name has become synonymous with frugality. “I’ve got a lot of people that I work with, they’re like, ‘Are you related?’ ‘Yes, that would be me,’ ” she said with a laugh.
“It’s not odd to us,” she added. “What’s odd is seeing my friends go to the mall and purchase jeans for … I don’t even know what designer jeans retail for.”
“Two hundred bucks!" put in her teen sister Abbey.
“I can get them for less than 10 dollars at a thrift store,” Becky said.
TODAY will host the Economides family throughout this week. On Thursday, they will teach another family their money-saving tricks, and on Friday, they will answer viewer questions about how to economize.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
面对如此怕输的儿子，我该怎么办？
http://bbs.creaders.net/child/bbsviewer.php?trd_id=515305
一个孩子，怎么可能只带给你快乐而没有烦恼呢。这段日子以来，55带给我的烦恼可能远胜于他带给我的快乐。他让我烦恼的事除了他的身体状况以外，还有他的情绪问题。而近期比较严重的是他的怕输的问题。他一直是怕输，输不起的孩子。之前，在家别管玩什么，输了就哭。
七月暑期，他开始跟着马老师学围棋，马老师对他的评价还是比较高的，班上一共五个孩子，除了一个比他还小两个月外，其余的三个都比他大两到四岁。可是，他确实是他们中悟性最好的一个，马老师说：“55这孩子还是挺有特点的，一般年龄小的孩子理解力会差，但他不会，似乎讲什么都比别人更容易理解一些。”而事实上，我看在那一期的学习过程中，他一直是相当愉快的，且总是很谦虚，每次赢了比他年长，甚至比他学得更久的孩子，他都笑呵呵地说：“妈妈，不是我厉害，是他让着我呢!”
就是这么个孩子，开学后，上第二期围棋课，却情况频发。事实上，暑期的时候，一直是我接送他，他爸爸基本上就是个司机的角色;每次把他送到马老师的教室门口，我都是望着他进去和那些孩子下棋，就离开，等他快下课时再返回去接他，那么那近两个小时的时间他是独立地在面对马老师面对围棋的课堂。
可是，开学后，因为我晚上不再有空，就只好完全由他爸爸接送。他爸爸是那种绝对的慈父，且并不把教育孩子当回事重视的人吧——我只是陈述事实，并没有数落他的意思。这样，第一节课第二节课尚好，他爸和我一样，把孩子送进去就离开了;第三节课，七点半多我打电话给他爸想让他爸捎点东西回来，那边的人讲电话很是压低着声音，我就奇怪地问：“你在哪儿呢?”他爸说：“在教室里。”我当时很纳闷：他怎么会留在教室里呢?
等他爸晚上回来，我才清楚，原来是班上新转来两个孩子，那两个孩子的家长执意要陪着孩子在教室里一起学，55爸爸便也留在了教室里。除了告诉我这个情况外，55爸爸还给我讲了55的一个事，就是不肯和马老师下棋，也不肯和别的小朋友一起下，只要和爸爸下——事实上，55爸爸对围棋一窍不通。我当时就说 55：那怎么能行呢?能和马老师下棋是件荣幸的事，会提高得更快;即使不能和马老师下棋也要和别的小朋友下呀，不下的话怎么能有提高呢?当时他也没多言语。结果第四节课，55爸爸回来又讲，说前半节课，家长都在里面，后半节课，一个家长要离开，结果那家的孩子就哭闹，马老师就索性请所有的家长都离开了，但是55爸爸离开以后，55却仍然不肯和别人下棋，一个人在那里做题目。我一听，心情真是很沉重，我想怎么会变成这样子?之前一直好好的呀，特积极，甭管和谁下，每次都下得兴高采烈的，课间休息时也是玩得相当开心。我就和55爸爸说，下次，把儿子送去以后，你就和暑假时一样，离开教室吧，不要守在那里，让马老师来教他，让他自己去面对课堂上的情况。他爸爸也表示了可以。我又耐心地和55讲了一番，讲围棋是需要实践的，并且告诉他，爸爸下次不会再在教室里陪他的，他当时果然不肯，还哭。之后，我又给马老师打了电话，询问了55的情况，马老师说不知是怎么回事，不肯下棋，还哭脸。我就说：可能是因为他爸爸在教室的缘故，他爸爸个性温吞，他在他爸跟前会比较娇气，下次他爸爸不会再呆在那里了，请马老师和以前一样，严格要求他吧。
这样子，昨天从幼儿园回家以后，我和55讲，今晚有一堂围棋课，嗯，请他放开心，好好下棋。结果他大哭，说不想和马老师下，我请他别哭，先好好说话，说说为什么。他说，因为怕输给马老师。我就讲，马老师四十岁了，下棋二十多年，输给马老师丢人吗?不丢人，再说，输给谁都不丢人，输就输了呗。何况，如果你现在就能赢马老师，你还跟着马老师学什么呀?你教马老师得了。55听我说到这里，破涕为笑。但过一会儿，又念叨上了，干脆说，不想去围棋室了。反反复复地嘟嘟囔囔。听着他哼哼唧唧，想他这样输不起，怎么能行呢?将来又如何应对生活中的种种。我望着他想着，心里又急又无助啊。以至心七上八下的，自己都很想哭了。但也没法子，耐着性子又开导了他一番，告诉他，妈妈让你下棋并不指望你能怎么着，只是想你有个爱好，以后有个乐趣，充实而快乐。你就开心地放松地去学吧。学成啥样，妈妈也不说你不打你的。是不是啊?妈妈有没有因为你学不会什么而责骂过你?他说：好象没有过。我说，就是了。比起快乐来，学成啥样一点也不重要。快乐才是最重要的。孩子。但是，也不能为了快乐就逃避自己害怕的事情，那样的快乐是不真实的。你看巧妍姐姐，刚来这里学习时，一做数学题就害怕，可是妈妈告诉她……我就那么蹲着，仰望着已经快一米二高的儿子，苦口婆心啊，指望晓之以理动之以情……有那么一会儿，他似乎真被我说动了。但是，吃过饭，要走了，又哼上了：“我不想去围棋室了。”磨磨蹭蹭不肯换鞋，最后是他爸给他穿的。他爸开开门，牵他走，他索性扯开嗓子嚎啕大哭，说不想去，他爸倒干脆利索：“怎么能不去呢?钱都教了，是必须去的!”他就那样哭着被他爸带走了，大哭着……
他走以后，我马上给马老师挂了个电话，跟马老师说了55怕输不想下了，大哭着走了，我感觉很无奈，有点束手无策的感觉，马老师听了都惊讶：“他怕输?他会怕输?为什么呀?”我都难受地快哭了，是啊?为什么呀?暑期不一直好好的吗。马老师一直不讳言，和所有家长都讲：“目前，55是第一了。”我难过地讲： “我也说不清啊。你看你有没有什么办法吧?反正我是没招了。”马老师讲：“好。我知道了。我会和他沟通一下的。”
之后，挂了电话，不久，他爸的电话打进来了，说，去了以后，他爸要离开，他不肯，扯着他爸，他爸走他就哭跟着他爸出来，最后，被马老师带了进去，马老师不知和他说着些什么，但他还是没肯下棋，一个人在那儿做题目呢。我应了一声，也没话可说。挂掉了电话。又过一会儿，他爸又一电话过来，这次说，新来了个瘦瘦的男孩，他和那个男孩下上了。马老师说那男孩是上一期学过的，但我怎么好象不认识啊——55爸爸的没心没肺真是我衷心佩服的——我说，是小波吧?确实是上一期学过的。已经上三年级了。
八点钟，我还是不能放心55，打电话临时取消了中学生的课，请他爸回来接我，赶去围棋室看一眼，看到55又在和小波下棋，面带微笑，平静而快乐的样子，我的心才象石头落了地一样，暂时踏实下来，55执白棋，从我这个角度看过去，满盘都是白棋一样，白棋明显占优。后来，马老师说，收拾棋盘，讲课了，我听到 55还不甘心地问马老师：“谁赢了?”马老师望着他们的棋盘轻描淡写地说：“白棋占优势。”之后小朋友们坐一排，开始听课了，55昨天回答问题表现并不是特别好，做错一道，不过，我看他倒很平静，一直望着老师，没走过神，而且积极地响应着老师的讲解，而马老师也及时地肯定着他的相应，说：“嗯。55讲得很对。”但我同时也看到了一个围棋室的问题，就是新来的那两个孩子的家长自始至终始终守在围棋室里，其中更有一对是夫妻守在那里，时不时地还走来走去交流交流，另一个孩子的妈妈就更夸张了，拿根香蕉，孩子下一步棋，她喂一口香蕉，我真晕呐，这家长是怎么想的?就不以为这样子会影响孩子的学习?可能还以为是起到了监督的作用吧?
快下课时，佳佳妈妈来接佳佳，佳佳也是上一棋就和55一起学围棋的比55还小两个月的男孩。佳佳妈妈先就象我抱怨，说他们新来的家长都在里面陪着，搞得佳佳也要她陪，她不同意，佳佳上次和这次都是哭着来的。我一听，实话实说，心里倒感觉安慰了些，原来无独有偶啊。这两个小一点的孩子显然在心理上受到了那些有大人陪课的孩子的影响。一时间无法调整过来。
当然，这只是一方面，但我觉得55出现这么严重的情绪问题也不单是这个原因，原因或者是多方面的：
首先是性格问题，他爸常说，55的性格就象我。也是吧。一方面天生，另一方面又是我一手带大的，怎么可能不象我：好强又倔强。凡事都求好。但他毕竟是个孩子，还没经历过人生的风浪和挫折，对于失败没有免疫力，于是，好强演变成了怕输。
其次，也和我平素的教育失误有关：怕他哭，竞赛项目总是让着他，给了他赢的快感的同时，也助长了他怕输的性格;
再次，我和其他人对他的褒奖可能过了，总是肯定他的聪明，让他潜意识里以为，第一被他买下了，他不能输，不能失掉第一，于是加剧了他怕输从而畏难的情绪。
于是，这种种不是，再配合上今年棋室走了两位他要好的棋友，同时还新来了两位时刻有家长陪伴的孩子，他自己爸爸又不合适宜地也陪伴了两节课，于是，所有的的不良情绪发酵了，膨胀了……
就在我和佳佳妈妈低声交流时，围棋课结束了，55小朋友出来了，满面笑容，很惊讶看到我：“妈妈。你怎么也来了?”我讲：“因为你哭着走的，妈妈不放心，所以，来接接你。怎么样?好些了么?”他眼睛亮亮地，笑：“已经好了。不那么想哭了。也和小朋友下了几盘棋。妈妈你开心了吗?”我答：“开心。不止因为你和小朋友下棋了。更重要的是看到你的笑脸了。”回去的路上，他一直絮絮叨叨地跟我说：“只是个游戏而已。输了也没关系。”我多么惊喜听到他这样说，我也知道这是马老师和他说的，我就讲：“是啊。你能这么想就太好了。以后，不管任何时候都要这样子告诉自己。只是游戏而已。输赢都没所谓的。”他说：“妈妈，我今天只得了两颗星。”我说：“那也很不错哦。那么多小朋友，能分到两颗星，已经相当不错了的。”他说：“是啊。总比一颗都没得要强。”我笑，说，总之，你要记得：“只是游戏。感觉游戏的快乐比输赢要重要的。”回家，洗手时，他又说：“妈妈，我以后还是会开心地好好地下棋的。”我笑，说：“是的。开心地下就行了。妈妈对此真没指望。”
这场风波似告一段落，但我想，如果根在性格问题上，那么，这种平静只是暂时的，表面上的。心理的成长不是一朝一夕的事。或者我更要反思我对他的教育思想和方法。我也真的有太多做得不恰当的事情。
难啊。带个孩子。问题接踵而来的。有时会想，关键还是自己太有欲望，想孩子这样想孩子那样，如果什么也不想，就象我婆婆带孩子那样，让孩子稀里糊涂地成长，是不是孩子更舒服，大人自己也更舒服呢?
可是听说，好的水稻都是培育出来的，那野地上长的水稻，倒是阳光雨露地自由了舒服了，但是……
只是怎样的人生不是一生呢?倒底何去何从啊。迷茫，无助。
(豌豆象的博客)
一个孩子，怎么可能只带给你快乐而没有烦恼呢。这段日子以来，55带给我的烦恼可能远胜于他带给我的快乐。他让我烦恼的事除了他的身体状况以外，还有他的情绪问题。而近期比较严重的是他的怕输的问题。他一直是怕输，输不起的孩子。之前，在家别管玩什么，输了就哭。
七月暑期，他开始跟着马老师学围棋，马老师对他的评价还是比较高的，班上一共五个孩子，除了一个比他还小两个月外，其余的三个都比他大两到四岁。可是，他确实是他们中悟性最好的一个，马老师说：“55这孩子还是挺有特点的，一般年龄小的孩子理解力会差，但他不会，似乎讲什么都比别人更容易理解一些。”而事实上，我看在那一期的学习过程中，他一直是相当愉快的，且总是很谦虚，每次赢了比他年长，甚至比他学得更久的孩子，他都笑呵呵地说：“妈妈，不是我厉害，是他让着我呢!”
就是这么个孩子，开学后，上第二期围棋课，却情况频发。事实上，暑期的时候，一直是我接送他，他爸爸基本上就是个司机的角色;每次把他送到马老师的教室门口，我都是望着他进去和那些孩子下棋，就离开，等他快下课时再返回去接他，那么那近两个小时的时间他是独立地在面对马老师面对围棋的课堂。
可是，开学后，因为我晚上不再有空，就只好完全由他爸爸接送。他爸爸是那种绝对的慈父，且并不把教育孩子当回事重视的人吧——我只是陈述事实，并没有数落他的意思。这样，第一节课第二节课尚好，他爸和我一样，把孩子送进去就离开了;第三节课，七点半多我打电话给他爸想让他爸捎点东西回来，那边的人讲电话很是压低着声音，我就奇怪地问：“你在哪儿呢?”他爸说：“在教室里。”我当时很纳闷：他怎么会留在教室里呢?
等他爸晚上回来，我才清楚，原来是班上新转来两个孩子，那两个孩子的家长执意要陪着孩子在教室里一起学，55爸爸便也留在了教室里。除了告诉我这个情况外，55爸爸还给我讲了55的一个事，就是不肯和马老师下棋，也不肯和别的小朋友一起下，只要和爸爸下——事实上，55爸爸对围棋一窍不通。我当时就说 55：那怎么能行呢?能和马老师下棋是件荣幸的事，会提高得更快;即使不能和马老师下棋也要和别的小朋友下呀，不下的话怎么能有提高呢?当时他也没多言语。结果第四节课，55爸爸回来又讲，说前半节课，家长都在里面，后半节课，一个家长要离开，结果那家的孩子就哭闹，马老师就索性请所有的家长都离开了，但是55爸爸离开以后，55却仍然不肯和别人下棋，一个人在那里做题目。我一听，心情真是很沉重，我想怎么会变成这样子?之前一直好好的呀，特积极，甭管和谁下，每次都下得兴高采烈的，课间休息时也是玩得相当开心。我就和55爸爸说，下次，把儿子送去以后，你就和暑假时一样，离开教室吧，不要守在那里，让马老师来教他，让他自己去面对课堂上的情况。他爸爸也表示了可以。我又耐心地和55讲了一番，讲围棋是需要实践的，并且告诉他，爸爸下次不会再在教室里陪他的，他当时果然不肯，还哭。之后，我又给马老师打了电话，询问了55的情况，马老师说不知是怎么回事，不肯下棋，还哭脸。我就说：可能是因为他爸爸在教室的缘故，他爸爸个性温吞，他在他爸跟前会比较娇气，下次他爸爸不会再呆在那里了，请马老师和以前一样，严格要求他吧。
这样子，昨天从幼儿园回家以后，我和55讲，今晚有一堂围棋课，嗯，请他放开心，好好下棋。结果他大哭，说不想和马老师下，我请他别哭，先好好说话，说说为什么。他说，因为怕输给马老师。我就讲，马老师四十岁了，下棋二十多年，输给马老师丢人吗?不丢人，再说，输给谁都不丢人，输就输了呗。何况，如果你现在就能赢马老师，你还跟着马老师学什么呀?你教马老师得了。55听我说到这里，破涕为笑。但过一会儿，又念叨上了，干脆说，不想去围棋室了。反反复复地嘟嘟囔囔。听着他哼哼唧唧，想他这样输不起，怎么能行呢?将来又如何应对生活中的种种。我望着他想着，心里又急又无助啊。以至心七上八下的，自己都很想哭了。但也没法子，耐着性子又开导了他一番，告诉他，妈妈让你下棋并不指望你能怎么着，只是想你有个爱好，以后有个乐趣，充实而快乐。你就开心地放松地去学吧。学成啥样，妈妈也不说你不打你的。是不是啊?妈妈有没有因为你学不会什么而责骂过你?他说：好象没有过。我说，就是了。比起快乐来，学成啥样一点也不重要。快乐才是最重要的。孩子。但是，也不能为了快乐就逃避自己害怕的事情，那样的快乐是不真实的。你看巧妍姐姐，刚来这里学习时，一做数学题就害怕，可是妈妈告诉她……我就那么蹲着，仰望着已经快一米二高的儿子，苦口婆心啊，指望晓之以理动之以情……有那么一会儿，他似乎真被我说动了。但是，吃过饭，要走了，又哼上了：“我不想去围棋室了。”磨磨蹭蹭不肯换鞋，最后是他爸给他穿的。他爸开开门，牵他走，他索性扯开嗓子嚎啕大哭，说不想去，他爸倒干脆利索：“怎么能不去呢?钱都教了，是必须去的!”他就那样哭着被他爸带走了，大哭着……
他走以后，我马上给马老师挂了个电话，跟马老师说了55怕输不想下了，大哭着走了，我感觉很无奈，有点束手无策的感觉，马老师听了都惊讶：“他怕输?他会怕输?为什么呀?”我都难受地快哭了，是啊?为什么呀?暑期不一直好好的吗。马老师一直不讳言，和所有家长都讲：“目前，55是第一了。”我难过地讲： “我也说不清啊。你看你有没有什么办法吧?反正我是没招了。”马老师讲：“好。我知道了。我会和他沟通一下的。”
之后，挂了电话，不久，他爸的电话打进来了，说，去了以后，他爸要离开，他不肯，扯着他爸，他爸走他就哭跟着他爸出来，最后，被马老师带了进去，马老师不知和他说着些什么，但他还是没肯下棋，一个人在那儿做题目呢。我应了一声，也没话可说。挂掉了电话。又过一会儿，他爸又一电话过来，这次说，新来了个瘦瘦的男孩，他和那个男孩下上了。马老师说那男孩是上一期学过的，但我怎么好象不认识啊——55爸爸的没心没肺真是我衷心佩服的——我说，是小波吧?确实是上一期学过的。已经上三年级了。
八点钟，我还是不能放心55，打电话临时取消了中学生的课，请他爸回来接我，赶去围棋室看一眼，看到55又在和小波下棋，面带微笑，平静而快乐的样子，我的心才象石头落了地一样，暂时踏实下来，55执白棋，从我这个角度看过去，满盘都是白棋一样，白棋明显占优。后来，马老师说，收拾棋盘，讲课了，我听到 55还不甘心地问马老师：“谁赢了?”马老师望着他们的棋盘轻描淡写地说：“白棋占优势。”之后小朋友们坐一排，开始听课了，55昨天回答问题表现并不是特别好，做错一道，不过，我看他倒很平静，一直望着老师，没走过神，而且积极地响应着老师的讲解，而马老师也及时地肯定着他的相应，说：“嗯。55讲得很对。”但我同时也看到了一个围棋室的问题，就是新来的那两个孩子的家长自始至终始终守在围棋室里，其中更有一对是夫妻守在那里，时不时地还走来走去交流交流，另一个孩子的妈妈就更夸张了，拿根香蕉，孩子下一步棋，她喂一口香蕉，我真晕呐，这家长是怎么想的?就不以为这样子会影响孩子的学习?可能还以为是起到了监督的作用吧?
快下课时，佳佳妈妈来接佳佳，佳佳也是上一棋就和55一起学围棋的比55还小两个月的男孩。佳佳妈妈先就象我抱怨，说他们新来的家长都在里面陪着，搞得佳佳也要她陪，她不同意，佳佳上次和这次都是哭着来的。我一听，实话实说，心里倒感觉安慰了些，原来无独有偶啊。这两个小一点的孩子显然在心理上受到了那些有大人陪课的孩子的影响。一时间无法调整过来。
当然，这只是一方面，但我觉得55出现这么严重的情绪问题也不单是这个原因，原因或者是多方面的：
首先是性格问题，他爸常说，55的性格就象我。也是吧。一方面天生，另一方面又是我一手带大的，怎么可能不象我：好强又倔强。凡事都求好。但他毕竟是个孩子，还没经历过人生的风浪和挫折，对于失败没有免疫力，于是，好强演变成了怕输。
其次，也和我平素的教育失误有关：怕他哭，竞赛项目总是让着他，给了他赢的快感的同时，也助长了他怕输的性格;
再次，我和其他人对他的褒奖可能过了，总是肯定他的聪明，让他潜意识里以为，第一被他买下了，他不能输，不能失掉第一，于是加剧了他怕输从而畏难的情绪。
于是，这种种不是，再配合上今年棋室走了两位他要好的棋友，同时还新来了两位时刻有家长陪伴的孩子，他自己爸爸又不合适宜地也陪伴了两节课，于是，所有的的不良情绪发酵了，膨胀了……
就在我和佳佳妈妈低声交流时，围棋课结束了，55小朋友出来了，满面笑容，很惊讶看到我：“妈妈。你怎么也来了?”我讲：“因为你哭着走的，妈妈不放心，所以，来接接你。怎么样?好些了么?”他眼睛亮亮地，笑：“已经好了。不那么想哭了。也和小朋友下了几盘棋。妈妈你开心了吗?”我答：“开心。不止因为你和小朋友下棋了。更重要的是看到你的笑脸了。”回去的路上，他一直絮絮叨叨地跟我说：“只是个游戏而已。输了也没关系。”我多么惊喜听到他这样说，我也知道这是马老师和他说的，我就讲：“是啊。你能这么想就太好了。以后，不管任何时候都要这样子告诉自己。只是游戏而已。输赢都没所谓的。”他说：“妈妈，我今天只得了两颗星。”我说：“那也很不错哦。那么多小朋友，能分到两颗星，已经相当不错了的。”他说：“是啊。总比一颗都没得要强。”我笑，说，总之，你要记得：“只是游戏。感觉游戏的快乐比输赢要重要的。”回家，洗手时，他又说：“妈妈，我以后还是会开心地好好地下棋的。”我笑，说：“是的。开心地下就行了。妈妈对此真没指望。”
这场风波似告一段落，但我想，如果根在性格问题上，那么，这种平静只是暂时的，表面上的。心理的成长不是一朝一夕的事。或者我更要反思我对他的教育思想和方法。我也真的有太多做得不恰当的事情。
难啊。带个孩子。问题接踵而来的。有时会想，关键还是自己太有欲望，想孩子这样想孩子那样，如果什么也不想，就象我婆婆带孩子那样，让孩子稀里糊涂地成长，是不是孩子更舒服，大人自己也更舒服呢?
可是听说，好的水稻都是培育出来的，那野地上长的水稻，倒是阳光雨露地自由了舒服了，但是……
只是怎样的人生不是一生呢?倒底何去何从啊。迷茫，无助。
(豌豆象的博客)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Census data: Weddings in 2009 at record low level
Census data: Weddings in 2009 at record low level
AP
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100928/ap_on_bi_ge/us_census_recession_s_impact
WASHINGTON – As the recession shook Americans' confidence last year, new figures show that weddings for people 18 and older dropped to the lowest point in over a hundred years.
A broad array of new Census Bureau data released Tuesday documents the far-reaching impact of a business slump that experts say technically ended in June 2009: a surging demand for food stamps, considerably fewer homeowners and people doubling up in housing to save money.
The new figures show, among other things, that the number of people getting married fell to a record low level in 2009, with just 52 percent of adults 18 and over saying they were joined in wedlock, compared to 57 percent in 2000.
Marriage rates have been declining for years due to rising divorce and an increase in unmarried couples living together. Demographers say the current downturn may now be causing more younger adults to postpone marriage as many struggle to find work and resist making long-term commitments.
"Given the scope of the recent recession, many more couples are likely to choose cohabitation over marriage in the coming years," said Mark Mather, associate vice president of the Population Reference Bureau.
On the positive side: Americans spent about 36 minutes fewer minutes in the office per week and were stuck in less traffic, although the reason was largely because millions of them had lost jobs or were scraping by with part-time work.
[Related: What else does the U.S. government track?]
The government revealed that the income gap between the richest and poorest Americans grew last year by the largest margin ever, stark evidence of the impact the long recession starting in 2007 has had in upending lives and putting the young at greater risk.
The top-earning 20 percent of Americans — those making more than $100,000 each year — received 49.4 percent of all income generated in the U.S., compared with the 3.4 percent earned by the bottom 20 percent of wage-earners who fell below the poverty line, according to the newly released Census figures. That ratio of 14.5-to-1 was an increase from 13.6 in 2008 and nearly double a low of 7.69 in 1968.
A different measure, the international Gini index, found U.S. income inequality at its highest level since the Census Bureau began tracking household income in 1967. The U.S. also has the greatest disparity among Western industrialized nations.
At the top, the wealthiest 5 percent of Americans, who earn more than $180,000, added slightly to their annual incomes last year, government data show. Families at the $50,000 median level slipped lower.
Three states — New York, Connecticut and Texas — and the District of Columbia had the largest gaps in rich and poor, disparities that exceeded the national average. Similar income gaps were evident in large cities such as New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Boston and Atlanta, home to both highly paid financial and high-tech jobs as well as clusters of poorer immigrant and minority residents.
[Related: Best, worst cities for single women]
On the other end of the scale, Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, Idaho and Hawaii had the smallest income gaps.
"Income inequality is rising, and if we took into account tax data, it would be even more," said Timothy Smeeding, a University of Wisconsin-Madison professor who specializes in poverty. "More than other countries, we have a very unequal income distribution where compensation goes to the top in a winner-takes-all economy."
Lower-skilled adults ages 18 to 34 had the largest jumps in poverty last year as employers kept or hired older workers for the dwindling jobs available, Smeeding said. The declining economic fortunes have caused many unemployed young Americans to double-up in housing with parents, friends and loved ones, with potential problems for the labor market if they don't get needed training for future jobs, he said.
Rea Hederman Jr., a senior policy analyst at The Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, agreed that Census data show families of all income levels had tepid earnings in 2009, with poorer Americans taking a larger hit. "It's certainly going to take a while for people to recover," he said.
On the issue of marriage among adults 25-34, roughly 46.3 percent reported they had never wed. It was the first time the share of unmarried young adults exceeded the 44.9 percent who were married.
Homeownership declined for the third year in a row to 65.9 percent, after hitting a peak of 67.3 percent in 2006. Residents in crowded housing held steady at 1 percent, the highest since 2004, a sign that people continued to "double up" to save money.
[Related: Census: Record-high gap between rich, poor]
Average commute times edged lower to 25.1 minutes, the lowest since 2006, as fewer people headed to the office in the morning. The share of people who carpooled also declined from 10.7 percent to 10 percent, while commuters who took public transportation were unchanged at 5 percent.
The number of U.S. households receiving food stamps surged by 2 million last year to 11.7 million, the highest level on record, meaning that 1 in 10 families were receiving the government aid. In all, 46 states and the District of Columbia had increases in food stamps, with the largest jumps in Nevada, Arizona, Florida and Wisconsin.
The census figures come weeks before the pivotal Nov. 2 congressional elections, when voters anxious about rising deficits and the slow pace of the economic recovery will decide whether to keep Democrats in power.
The 2009 census tabulations, which are based on pre-tax income and exclude capital gains, are adjusted for household size where data are available. Prior analyses of after-tax income made by the wealthiest 1 percent compared to middle- and low-income Americans have also pointed to a widening inequality gap, but only reflect U.S. data as of 2007.
AP
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100928/ap_on_bi_ge/us_census_recession_s_impact
WASHINGTON – As the recession shook Americans' confidence last year, new figures show that weddings for people 18 and older dropped to the lowest point in over a hundred years.
A broad array of new Census Bureau data released Tuesday documents the far-reaching impact of a business slump that experts say technically ended in June 2009: a surging demand for food stamps, considerably fewer homeowners and people doubling up in housing to save money.
The new figures show, among other things, that the number of people getting married fell to a record low level in 2009, with just 52 percent of adults 18 and over saying they were joined in wedlock, compared to 57 percent in 2000.
Marriage rates have been declining for years due to rising divorce and an increase in unmarried couples living together. Demographers say the current downturn may now be causing more younger adults to postpone marriage as many struggle to find work and resist making long-term commitments.
"Given the scope of the recent recession, many more couples are likely to choose cohabitation over marriage in the coming years," said Mark Mather, associate vice president of the Population Reference Bureau.
On the positive side: Americans spent about 36 minutes fewer minutes in the office per week and were stuck in less traffic, although the reason was largely because millions of them had lost jobs or were scraping by with part-time work.
[Related: What else does the U.S. government track?]
The government revealed that the income gap between the richest and poorest Americans grew last year by the largest margin ever, stark evidence of the impact the long recession starting in 2007 has had in upending lives and putting the young at greater risk.
The top-earning 20 percent of Americans — those making more than $100,000 each year — received 49.4 percent of all income generated in the U.S., compared with the 3.4 percent earned by the bottom 20 percent of wage-earners who fell below the poverty line, according to the newly released Census figures. That ratio of 14.5-to-1 was an increase from 13.6 in 2008 and nearly double a low of 7.69 in 1968.
A different measure, the international Gini index, found U.S. income inequality at its highest level since the Census Bureau began tracking household income in 1967. The U.S. also has the greatest disparity among Western industrialized nations.
At the top, the wealthiest 5 percent of Americans, who earn more than $180,000, added slightly to their annual incomes last year, government data show. Families at the $50,000 median level slipped lower.
Three states — New York, Connecticut and Texas — and the District of Columbia had the largest gaps in rich and poor, disparities that exceeded the national average. Similar income gaps were evident in large cities such as New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Boston and Atlanta, home to both highly paid financial and high-tech jobs as well as clusters of poorer immigrant and minority residents.
[Related: Best, worst cities for single women]
On the other end of the scale, Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, Idaho and Hawaii had the smallest income gaps.
"Income inequality is rising, and if we took into account tax data, it would be even more," said Timothy Smeeding, a University of Wisconsin-Madison professor who specializes in poverty. "More than other countries, we have a very unequal income distribution where compensation goes to the top in a winner-takes-all economy."
Lower-skilled adults ages 18 to 34 had the largest jumps in poverty last year as employers kept or hired older workers for the dwindling jobs available, Smeeding said. The declining economic fortunes have caused many unemployed young Americans to double-up in housing with parents, friends and loved ones, with potential problems for the labor market if they don't get needed training for future jobs, he said.
Rea Hederman Jr., a senior policy analyst at The Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, agreed that Census data show families of all income levels had tepid earnings in 2009, with poorer Americans taking a larger hit. "It's certainly going to take a while for people to recover," he said.
On the issue of marriage among adults 25-34, roughly 46.3 percent reported they had never wed. It was the first time the share of unmarried young adults exceeded the 44.9 percent who were married.
Homeownership declined for the third year in a row to 65.9 percent, after hitting a peak of 67.3 percent in 2006. Residents in crowded housing held steady at 1 percent, the highest since 2004, a sign that people continued to "double up" to save money.
[Related: Census: Record-high gap between rich, poor]
Average commute times edged lower to 25.1 minutes, the lowest since 2006, as fewer people headed to the office in the morning. The share of people who carpooled also declined from 10.7 percent to 10 percent, while commuters who took public transportation were unchanged at 5 percent.
The number of U.S. households receiving food stamps surged by 2 million last year to 11.7 million, the highest level on record, meaning that 1 in 10 families were receiving the government aid. In all, 46 states and the District of Columbia had increases in food stamps, with the largest jumps in Nevada, Arizona, Florida and Wisconsin.
The census figures come weeks before the pivotal Nov. 2 congressional elections, when voters anxious about rising deficits and the slow pace of the economic recovery will decide whether to keep Democrats in power.
The 2009 census tabulations, which are based on pre-tax income and exclude capital gains, are adjusted for household size where data are available. Prior analyses of after-tax income made by the wealthiest 1 percent compared to middle- and low-income Americans have also pointed to a widening inequality gap, but only reflect U.S. data as of 2007.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Obstacle to Deficit Cutting: A Nation on Entitlements
Obstacle to Deficit Cutting: A Nation on Entitlements
by Sara Murray
Thursday, September 16, 2010
http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/110680/nation-of-entitlements?mod=bb-budgeting
Efforts to tame America's ballooning budget deficit could soon confront a daunting reality: Nearly half of all Americans live in a household in which someone receives government benefits, more than at any time in history.
At the same time, the fraction of American households not paying federal income taxes has also grown -- to an estimated 45% in 2010, from 39% five years ago, according to the Tax Policy Center, a nonpartisan research organization.
More from WSJ.com:
• Obama's Latest Plan to Save the Economy
• How to Deal With Tax Uncertainty
• Obama Urges Deal on Tax Cuts
A little more than half don't earn enough to be taxed; the rest take so many credits and deductions they don't owe anything. Most still get hit with Medicare and Social Security payroll taxes, but 13% of all U.S. households pay neither federal income nor payroll taxes.
"We have a very large share of the American population that is getting checks from the government," says Keith Hennessey, an economic adviser to President George W. Bush and now a fellow at the conservative Hoover Institution, "and an increasingly smaller portion of the population that's paying for it."
The dimensions of the budget hole were underscored Monday, when the Treasury reported that the government ran a $1.26 trillion deficit for the first 11 months of the fiscal year, on pace to be the second-biggest on record.
[Click here to check savings products and rates in your area.]
Yet even as Americans express concern over the deficit in opinion polls, many oppose benefit cuts, particularly with the economy on an uneven footing. A Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll conducted late last month found 61% of voters were "enthusiastic" or "comfortable" with congressional candidates who support cutting federal spending in general. But 56% expressed the same enthusiasm for candidates who voted to extend unemployment benefits.
wsjdeficit1.jpg
As recently as the early 1980s, about 30% of Americans lived in households in which an individual was receiving Social Security, subsidized housing, jobless benefits or other government-provided benefits. By the third quarter of 2008, 44% were, according to the most recent Census Bureau data.
That number has undoubtedly gone up, as the recession has hammered incomes. Some 41.3 million people were on food stamps as of June 2010, for instance, up 45% from June 2008. With unemployment high and federal jobless benefits now available for up to 99 weeks, 9.7 million unemployed workers were receiving checks in late August 2010, more than twice as many as the 4.2 million in August 2008.
Still more Americans -- 19 million by 2019, according to the Congressional Budget Office -- will get federal aid to buy health insurance when legislation passed this year is implemented.
The expanding federal safety net has helped shelter many families from the worst of the downturn. Charlene A. Mueller-Holden doesn't fit the stereotype of a person on benefits. Laid off from J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. (NYSE: JPM - News) in January 2008, Ms. Mueller-Holden, 38, drew unemployment for 99 weeks.
The Newark, Del., resident knocked $40 a month off her mortgage payments through the federal Making Home Affordable Program, designed to keep people in their homes by helping them modify or refinance their mortgages. But when her unemployment benefits ran out, Ms. Mueller-Holden and her husband, a government employee, couldn't afford the $1,008 monthly payments.
She turned to the Delaware State Housing Authority which, under a federally subsidized program aimed at helping families with children stay in their homes, gave her $1,000 a month for five months toward mortgage payments. She and her two sons ate lunch for free at the local school this summer, and she has applied for free lunch for one of her sons who will be a first grader this year.
Ms. Mueller-Holden's family earned too little to pay federal taxes last year, and received an extension on their state taxes. "Quite frankly, I don't care about the deficit," says Ms. Mueller-Holden. "It's going to take years upon years upon years to pay this all back," she says, so it's better to focus on job growth now and deal with the deficit later.
Government data don't show how many of the households receiving government benefits also escape federal taxes. But there is certainly some overlap between the two groups, since many benefits are aimed at those earning too little to pay income taxes and at people who don't have jobs, and who thus don't pay payroll taxes.
Cutting spending on these "entitlements" is widely seen as an inevitable ingredient in any credible deficit-reduction program. Yet despite occasional bouts of belt-tightening in Washington and bursts of discussion about restraining big government, the trend toward more Americans receiving government benefits of one sort or another has continued for more than 70 years -- and shows no sign of abating.
[America's Most Recession-Proof Cities]
An aging population is adding to the ranks of Americans receiving government benefits, and will continue to do so as more of the large baby-boom generation, those born between 1946 and 1964, become eligible. Today, an estimated 47.4 million people are enrolled in Medicare, up 38% from 1990. By 2030, the number is projected to be 80.4 million.
The difficulty of restraining benefits when so much of the population depends on them is now on view across Europe, where efforts to rein in deficits are forcing governments to cut popular entitlements. European countries have traditionally provided far more generous welfare benefits than the U.S. has, including monthly allowances for children regardless of income, free college tuition and universal health care. Public retirement programs are also bigger, since the combination of aging populations and low birth rates means fewer workers are paying into the system.
In recent months, political leaders in Europe have struggled to convince voters that change is necessary. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has exempted pensions from her government's planned budget cuts, reflecting the growing power of the retiree vote. French President Nicolas Sarkozy is facing mass protests, including a national strike week, as he tries to raise France's minimum retirement age from 60 to 62. Greece's government had to face down demonstrations this year when it slashed pension benefits, as it was forced to do to get bailout money from other European countries and the International Monetary Fund.
Still, Europe does offer examples that change is possible. Germany slashed benefits for the long-term unemployed in 2004, a step that analysts credit with prompting more Germans to get jobs as well as improving the country's budget balance. Cuts to entitlements are politically possible, says Daniel Gros, director of the Center for European Policy Studies, a nonpartisan think tank in Brussels, "but societies need some time to get used to the idea."
The U.S. government first offered large-scale assistance during Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal. The Social Security Act, passed in 1935, created the popular retirement program as well as unemployment compensation, the early stages of what became known as "welfare" and assistance to the blind and elderly. In the 1940s, the G.I. Bill offered unemployment benefits, education assistance and loans to veterans. That same decade, Washington began offering free or reduced-price lunches to children from low-income families and, a decade later, monthly benefits to the disabled.
wsjdeficit2.jpg
Lyndon Johnson's Great Society programs brought food stamps plus Medicare and Medicaid. In the 1970s, Supplemental Security Income was created on top of routine Social Security benefits for the poorest of the elderly and disabled, and so-called Section 8 vouchers began subsidizing rental housing. The earned-income tax credit was launched in 1975 to offer extra cash to low-wage workers, and grew in the 1990s to become one of the government's principle antipoverty programs.
Benefits for children were expanded in 1997 with the State Children's Health Insurance Program during the Clinton administration -- and were expanded again in 2009. Shortly after President Barack Obama took office, Congress passed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, the stimulus bill, which among other things extended unemployment compensation and offered incentives for states to cover more workers.
All this is expensive. Payments to individuals -- a budget category that includes all federal benefit programs plus retirement benefits for federal workers -- will cost $2.4 trillion this year, up 79%, adjusted for inflation, from a decade earlier when the economy was stronger. That represents 64.3% of all federal outlays, the highest percentage in the 70 years the government has been measuring it. The figure was 46.7% in 1990 and 26.2% in 1960.
[Things You Should Always Buy Generic]
When the economy recovers, some -- but not all -- current recipients of federal aid are likely to lose their benefits, which some say is reason enough to keep them going for now.
"If there became an expectation that government was going to provide over half of the population's well-being to a significant degree without requiring anything of the recipients, there would be reason for concern," says Robert Reischauer, a former Congressional Budget Office director and now president of the Urban Institute, a liberal-leaning think tank in Washington, D.C. "I don't think that's where we are or where we're headed."
The public appears divided on what to do. A new Allstate/National Journal poll found that 35% of voters want the government to make sure future retirees receive all the benefits they've been promised even if it means raising taxes. Another 34% said the government should make retirement programs "financially sustainable" by making some cuts to those benefits and raising some taxes, and 22% said they'd be willing to see benefits cut to restrain the programs' rising costs.
wsjdeficit3.jpg
The call for restraining benefits resonates with voters like Robert Letherman. "You name it, someone is lining up to get bailed out, or a handout, courtesy of the hard-working American taxpayer," says Mr. Letherman, 39, a real-estate developer in Elkhart, Ind.
Mr. Letherman says he has struggled through the recession like many others, but doesn't qualify for government assistance. His income has declined 40% since 2007. Some $4 million in development projects percolating in the spring of 2007 have since been shelved.
He supports helping people in need, says Mr. Letherman, but believes many people game the system. Extended unemployment benefits, for example, give some Americans an excuse not to go back to work, he says. If it were up to him, government would be half the size it is now.
He favors eliminating pensions for all government workers, excluding military and intelligence personnel, and would impose a nationwide sales tax to pay off the country's debt. "If we continue down the path of deficit spending, the great recession of 2008 will be nothing compared to what we will face in five, 10, 20 years," he says.
Cutting federal benefits while the economy is still weak would be a mistake, some analysts say, because it could hinder recovery by giving consumers less money to spend.
[Where to Buy a Home for $800 Month]
Paul Hester has relied on government benefits since he lost his job in June 2009. The 54-year-old microbiologist has a master's degree and was earning a salary of $50,000 at the Indiana State Department of Health. He says he regularly looks for jobs, but has landed only two interviews in the past year.
Influenced by the credit wariness of parents who lived through the Great Depression, the Indianapolis resident has always been thrifty. He once watched his dad walk into a dealership, "plop down $10,000 in cash and buy a car." Mr. Hester has one credit card, and before he was unemployed, he tried to pay it off every month.
He lives on $375 a week in unemployment checks and his health-insurance premiums are subsidized by the federal government under a provision in the fiscal stimulus enacted by Congress in February 2009. His daughter, a college sophomore, pays for part of her schooling with Pell Grants, a federal program for low-income students that is set to expand because of new legislation that increased the number and size of grants.
"I don't like taking government money," says Mr. Hester, but "what else is there?"
-- Marcus Walker contributed to this article.
Write to Sara Murray at sara.murray@wsj.com
by Sara Murray
Thursday, September 16, 2010
http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/110680/nation-of-entitlements?mod=bb-budgeting
Efforts to tame America's ballooning budget deficit could soon confront a daunting reality: Nearly half of all Americans live in a household in which someone receives government benefits, more than at any time in history.
At the same time, the fraction of American households not paying federal income taxes has also grown -- to an estimated 45% in 2010, from 39% five years ago, according to the Tax Policy Center, a nonpartisan research organization.
More from WSJ.com:
• Obama's Latest Plan to Save the Economy
• How to Deal With Tax Uncertainty
• Obama Urges Deal on Tax Cuts
A little more than half don't earn enough to be taxed; the rest take so many credits and deductions they don't owe anything. Most still get hit with Medicare and Social Security payroll taxes, but 13% of all U.S. households pay neither federal income nor payroll taxes.
"We have a very large share of the American population that is getting checks from the government," says Keith Hennessey, an economic adviser to President George W. Bush and now a fellow at the conservative Hoover Institution, "and an increasingly smaller portion of the population that's paying for it."
The dimensions of the budget hole were underscored Monday, when the Treasury reported that the government ran a $1.26 trillion deficit for the first 11 months of the fiscal year, on pace to be the second-biggest on record.
[Click here to check savings products and rates in your area.]
Yet even as Americans express concern over the deficit in opinion polls, many oppose benefit cuts, particularly with the economy on an uneven footing. A Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll conducted late last month found 61% of voters were "enthusiastic" or "comfortable" with congressional candidates who support cutting federal spending in general. But 56% expressed the same enthusiasm for candidates who voted to extend unemployment benefits.
wsjdeficit1.jpg
As recently as the early 1980s, about 30% of Americans lived in households in which an individual was receiving Social Security, subsidized housing, jobless benefits or other government-provided benefits. By the third quarter of 2008, 44% were, according to the most recent Census Bureau data.
That number has undoubtedly gone up, as the recession has hammered incomes. Some 41.3 million people were on food stamps as of June 2010, for instance, up 45% from June 2008. With unemployment high and federal jobless benefits now available for up to 99 weeks, 9.7 million unemployed workers were receiving checks in late August 2010, more than twice as many as the 4.2 million in August 2008.
Still more Americans -- 19 million by 2019, according to the Congressional Budget Office -- will get federal aid to buy health insurance when legislation passed this year is implemented.
The expanding federal safety net has helped shelter many families from the worst of the downturn. Charlene A. Mueller-Holden doesn't fit the stereotype of a person on benefits. Laid off from J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. (NYSE: JPM - News) in January 2008, Ms. Mueller-Holden, 38, drew unemployment for 99 weeks.
The Newark, Del., resident knocked $40 a month off her mortgage payments through the federal Making Home Affordable Program, designed to keep people in their homes by helping them modify or refinance their mortgages. But when her unemployment benefits ran out, Ms. Mueller-Holden and her husband, a government employee, couldn't afford the $1,008 monthly payments.
She turned to the Delaware State Housing Authority which, under a federally subsidized program aimed at helping families with children stay in their homes, gave her $1,000 a month for five months toward mortgage payments. She and her two sons ate lunch for free at the local school this summer, and she has applied for free lunch for one of her sons who will be a first grader this year.
Ms. Mueller-Holden's family earned too little to pay federal taxes last year, and received an extension on their state taxes. "Quite frankly, I don't care about the deficit," says Ms. Mueller-Holden. "It's going to take years upon years upon years to pay this all back," she says, so it's better to focus on job growth now and deal with the deficit later.
Government data don't show how many of the households receiving government benefits also escape federal taxes. But there is certainly some overlap between the two groups, since many benefits are aimed at those earning too little to pay income taxes and at people who don't have jobs, and who thus don't pay payroll taxes.
Cutting spending on these "entitlements" is widely seen as an inevitable ingredient in any credible deficit-reduction program. Yet despite occasional bouts of belt-tightening in Washington and bursts of discussion about restraining big government, the trend toward more Americans receiving government benefits of one sort or another has continued for more than 70 years -- and shows no sign of abating.
[America's Most Recession-Proof Cities]
An aging population is adding to the ranks of Americans receiving government benefits, and will continue to do so as more of the large baby-boom generation, those born between 1946 and 1964, become eligible. Today, an estimated 47.4 million people are enrolled in Medicare, up 38% from 1990. By 2030, the number is projected to be 80.4 million.
The difficulty of restraining benefits when so much of the population depends on them is now on view across Europe, where efforts to rein in deficits are forcing governments to cut popular entitlements. European countries have traditionally provided far more generous welfare benefits than the U.S. has, including monthly allowances for children regardless of income, free college tuition and universal health care. Public retirement programs are also bigger, since the combination of aging populations and low birth rates means fewer workers are paying into the system.
In recent months, political leaders in Europe have struggled to convince voters that change is necessary. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has exempted pensions from her government's planned budget cuts, reflecting the growing power of the retiree vote. French President Nicolas Sarkozy is facing mass protests, including a national strike week, as he tries to raise France's minimum retirement age from 60 to 62. Greece's government had to face down demonstrations this year when it slashed pension benefits, as it was forced to do to get bailout money from other European countries and the International Monetary Fund.
Still, Europe does offer examples that change is possible. Germany slashed benefits for the long-term unemployed in 2004, a step that analysts credit with prompting more Germans to get jobs as well as improving the country's budget balance. Cuts to entitlements are politically possible, says Daniel Gros, director of the Center for European Policy Studies, a nonpartisan think tank in Brussels, "but societies need some time to get used to the idea."
The U.S. government first offered large-scale assistance during Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal. The Social Security Act, passed in 1935, created the popular retirement program as well as unemployment compensation, the early stages of what became known as "welfare" and assistance to the blind and elderly. In the 1940s, the G.I. Bill offered unemployment benefits, education assistance and loans to veterans. That same decade, Washington began offering free or reduced-price lunches to children from low-income families and, a decade later, monthly benefits to the disabled.
wsjdeficit2.jpg
Lyndon Johnson's Great Society programs brought food stamps plus Medicare and Medicaid. In the 1970s, Supplemental Security Income was created on top of routine Social Security benefits for the poorest of the elderly and disabled, and so-called Section 8 vouchers began subsidizing rental housing. The earned-income tax credit was launched in 1975 to offer extra cash to low-wage workers, and grew in the 1990s to become one of the government's principle antipoverty programs.
Benefits for children were expanded in 1997 with the State Children's Health Insurance Program during the Clinton administration -- and were expanded again in 2009. Shortly after President Barack Obama took office, Congress passed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, the stimulus bill, which among other things extended unemployment compensation and offered incentives for states to cover more workers.
All this is expensive. Payments to individuals -- a budget category that includes all federal benefit programs plus retirement benefits for federal workers -- will cost $2.4 trillion this year, up 79%, adjusted for inflation, from a decade earlier when the economy was stronger. That represents 64.3% of all federal outlays, the highest percentage in the 70 years the government has been measuring it. The figure was 46.7% in 1990 and 26.2% in 1960.
[Things You Should Always Buy Generic]
When the economy recovers, some -- but not all -- current recipients of federal aid are likely to lose their benefits, which some say is reason enough to keep them going for now.
"If there became an expectation that government was going to provide over half of the population's well-being to a significant degree without requiring anything of the recipients, there would be reason for concern," says Robert Reischauer, a former Congressional Budget Office director and now president of the Urban Institute, a liberal-leaning think tank in Washington, D.C. "I don't think that's where we are or where we're headed."
The public appears divided on what to do. A new Allstate/National Journal poll found that 35% of voters want the government to make sure future retirees receive all the benefits they've been promised even if it means raising taxes. Another 34% said the government should make retirement programs "financially sustainable" by making some cuts to those benefits and raising some taxes, and 22% said they'd be willing to see benefits cut to restrain the programs' rising costs.
wsjdeficit3.jpg
The call for restraining benefits resonates with voters like Robert Letherman. "You name it, someone is lining up to get bailed out, or a handout, courtesy of the hard-working American taxpayer," says Mr. Letherman, 39, a real-estate developer in Elkhart, Ind.
Mr. Letherman says he has struggled through the recession like many others, but doesn't qualify for government assistance. His income has declined 40% since 2007. Some $4 million in development projects percolating in the spring of 2007 have since been shelved.
He supports helping people in need, says Mr. Letherman, but believes many people game the system. Extended unemployment benefits, for example, give some Americans an excuse not to go back to work, he says. If it were up to him, government would be half the size it is now.
He favors eliminating pensions for all government workers, excluding military and intelligence personnel, and would impose a nationwide sales tax to pay off the country's debt. "If we continue down the path of deficit spending, the great recession of 2008 will be nothing compared to what we will face in five, 10, 20 years," he says.
Cutting federal benefits while the economy is still weak would be a mistake, some analysts say, because it could hinder recovery by giving consumers less money to spend.
[Where to Buy a Home for $800 Month]
Paul Hester has relied on government benefits since he lost his job in June 2009. The 54-year-old microbiologist has a master's degree and was earning a salary of $50,000 at the Indiana State Department of Health. He says he regularly looks for jobs, but has landed only two interviews in the past year.
Influenced by the credit wariness of parents who lived through the Great Depression, the Indianapolis resident has always been thrifty. He once watched his dad walk into a dealership, "plop down $10,000 in cash and buy a car." Mr. Hester has one credit card, and before he was unemployed, he tried to pay it off every month.
He lives on $375 a week in unemployment checks and his health-insurance premiums are subsidized by the federal government under a provision in the fiscal stimulus enacted by Congress in February 2009. His daughter, a college sophomore, pays for part of her schooling with Pell Grants, a federal program for low-income students that is set to expand because of new legislation that increased the number and size of grants.
"I don't like taking government money," says Mr. Hester, but "what else is there?"
-- Marcus Walker contributed to this article.
Write to Sara Murray at sara.murray@wsj.com
Thursday, September 16, 2010
狂野派对少女惨遭轮奸 作案图片上载社交网
http://www.bcbay.com/news/newsViewer.php?nid=31523&id=40681
皇家骑警现正调查一些疑因有大批青少年参加的狂野派对而起、包括少女遭性侵和儿童色情图片的案件。有消息指，受害人遭轮姦，除已被捕的少年疑犯外，亦有其他年轻人涉案，并有人将案发时拍下的图片放上网。
匹特草原(Pitt Meadows)骑警指，重案组现正调查多宗缘于一狂野派对的罪案，当中包括一宗性侵案，起初警方没有直接说明性侵案发地点；不过，警方昨日发新闻稿指，需就狂野派对案件，公开呼吁家长和青少年提高警惕。
警方昨日指，就狂野派对中发生的事和于互联网发放事发图片调查，当中疑涉及发放儿童色情图片。
警方指，该狂野派对于9月10日和11日(上周五及周六)在匹特草原一私人物业举行，并有大批青少年参加。
据悉，派对在市内Harris路一住宅举行，案件并涉及多名疑犯性侵一名少女，于社交网上有案发图片和短片流传。
警司沃尔什(Dave Walsh)表示，警方在9月12日(周日)，即派对过后接获线报，及后拘捕一名年轻男子。
他又指，社交网站Facebook上有多个相关讯息，有助调查，不过，部分留言指案中女子是自愿，这并不属实，医学体检证明，少女是性侵案的受害人。
警方呼吁家长要警惕这类派对，沃尔什续指，警方在大部分狂野派对里，都发现有人吸用或出售毒品，还有年轻人大量饮酒，亦有人在不知情下饮用了俗称「迷姦水」的羥丁酸(GHB)。警方鼓励家长与子女对这类派对事件多讨论，呼吁年轻人要作出明智的选择。
皇家骑警现正调查一些疑因有大批青少年参加的狂野派对而起、包括少女遭性侵和儿童色情图片的案件。有消息指，受害人遭轮姦，除已被捕的少年疑犯外，亦有其他年轻人涉案，并有人将案发时拍下的图片放上网。
匹特草原(Pitt Meadows)骑警指，重案组现正调查多宗缘于一狂野派对的罪案，当中包括一宗性侵案，起初警方没有直接说明性侵案发地点；不过，警方昨日发新闻稿指，需就狂野派对案件，公开呼吁家长和青少年提高警惕。
警方昨日指，就狂野派对中发生的事和于互联网发放事发图片调查，当中疑涉及发放儿童色情图片。
警方指，该狂野派对于9月10日和11日(上周五及周六)在匹特草原一私人物业举行，并有大批青少年参加。
据悉，派对在市内Harris路一住宅举行，案件并涉及多名疑犯性侵一名少女，于社交网上有案发图片和短片流传。
警司沃尔什(Dave Walsh)表示，警方在9月12日(周日)，即派对过后接获线报，及后拘捕一名年轻男子。
他又指，社交网站Facebook上有多个相关讯息，有助调查，不过，部分留言指案中女子是自愿，这并不属实，医学体检证明，少女是性侵案的受害人。
警方呼吁家长要警惕这类派对，沃尔什续指，警方在大部分狂野派对里，都发现有人吸用或出售毒品，还有年轻人大量饮酒，亦有人在不知情下饮用了俗称「迷姦水」的羥丁酸(GHB)。警方鼓励家长与子女对这类派对事件多讨论，呼吁年轻人要作出明智的选择。
五十五岁离家出走的男人
五十五岁离家出走的男人
http://blog.creaders.net/HANTIAN/user_blog_diary.php?did=68506
老何离家出走了，上个月他刚过了54岁的生日。
老 何是我在加拿大一位朋友的邻居。初识老何是三年以前，老何有点儿秃顶，说话文绉绉，走路慢吞吞，与他太太性格截然相反，是个出了名的好脾气。他太太有时会 说，老何是个没什么抱负的人，喜欢安静过日子，从来不会创新。不过家里孩子的事情他可放在心上，三个孩子学钢琴小提琴的都是他监督着坚持下来，各种文娱活 动孩子们都没落下。也没有不良嗜好，抽烟喝酒一概不粘。唯一的爱好就是种种院子的花。
所以，老何是太太们争相赞赏的模范老公，大家称赞的老好人！
所以，当我们听说他离家出走，怎么都觉得不可能。这么有责任心的人，怎么可能？
更何况，在我们感觉中，离家出走，是孩子干的事情，怎么会是一个快五十五岁，有着三个孩子和完整家庭的人。
但 事实就是这样，朋友说，老何似乎预谋已久，向公司辞了职，给家里留了信。信中请太太不要担心他，他一定会安全的回家，但说不清会走多久。还解释说，人生苦 短，为了孩子，为了家庭，在并不是很喜欢的地方，做着不是很喜欢的工作，忙碌了大半辈子，现在孩子长大了，一切稳定，生活安逸，他很想在自己还算不太老 时，走走自己想走的路。
我老公听说后，太有个性了。虽然这是很多男人都想过要做的事情，但绝大多数人是做不出来的。
我听了以后，突然发现，这哪里仅仅是男人想过要做的事情，也许很多女人都曾想过。比如我，我就想过，等我到了四十岁，要找一个安静的小山村住上一阵子，每天看看书拽拽文，无须等到每日夜深人静孩子入睡；为自己做些家常小菜，无须顾及丈夫儿子女儿每个人的口味。
其实，我们生活的都挺辛苦。
为了生活，我们不停奔波。为了好生活，我们不断努力。为了更好的生活，我们坚持不懈没有喘息的奋斗。为了让孩子有更好更好的生活，我们就这样没有间隙的忙碌劳作，直到有一天发现镜子中的自己老了。
朝九晚五，外出工作，回家做饭，
这就是普通人的大半生吧。这就是每一个普通人的大半生日子。记得小时候好像是思想品德课里学到未来理想之类的内容时，教材中有一句话令我印象深刻，“人要根据客观社会条件调整自己的理想。”
那 个时候死记硬背觉得这句话也说得通，可是现在回想过去，首先这句话就违背了理想的概念，理想是对未来事物的想象，如果到了眼前发现不对而调整理想，呵呵， 那离实现理想又很遥远了。很多时候，我们不是调整理想，而是放弃理想，选择现实。所以，通常说，理想是年轻人的事情，因为有点儿年纪的，很多都放弃或是搁 置了理想。
想想也是，人就是那么矛盾的动物，人生就是由那么多的矛盾堆积构成，才让一辈子显得忙忙碌碌。
夜间，跟老公讨论老何的事情，我跟老公埋怨着人着一辈子够辛苦，以及以后想到小山村去实现理想的事情，并强调了理想无法调整等等等等。
老公想了想说，不对，你这个理想可以调整。小山村就别去了，太不现实，你四十岁以后就买一个小咖啡吧，经营成咖啡书屋，你每天工作就在里面看书，写作，然后晚上回来做饭。这样不错吧。
我一听，问，那咖啡吧能挣钱吗？老公说，铁定就是赔钱的。
我跳：那怎么能行？老公说：所以，现在要辛苦，辛苦了才能达成自己理想。
咦，怎么好像有道理呢？
老公是会狡辩的，就此打住吧。
送给老何一首小诗（且算是诗吧），希望他能看见：
知道你离家的步伐不那么坚定，
理解你离家的心情不那么轻松，
希望你理想的达成不那么久远，
期盼你归家的速度不那么缓慢。
谢谢你真实的行动让我们深思，
祝福你，好人一生平安！
作者：在水一方 留言时间：2010-09-03 12:16:03
不光男人有这样的梦,女的也有,但敢去实践这种梦想的人不多.老何让人很佩服的.
作者：登山者 留言时间：2010-09-03 23:08:36
有一个男人离家出走,好些人为之叫好。我不由不感到,这世道之变化,己让人难辩是与非;曲与直。如果为了自巳的理想,仅留下一纸片扬长而去。请问置几十年的妻子于何地? 一个家,小孩大了,就可以撒手不管家了? 这一走妻子会高兴吗? 孩子们会安心吗? 如果不要这个家,干脆点,离了再走。
现在倒好,让太太一个人守空房挑重担。谁知这位先生走的偷偷摸摸, 何时再把家回。是去创业? 还是去浪迹花花世界。前二天在卫视上看到一个新闻。一个失踪了廿五年的父亲, 在外面结识的女人离开了, 自巳又生病瘫了, 不能动了, 才想到回家; 才知道有孩子。人不应该放任自己, 放弃责任。事后又希望别人用亲情用善良来原谅他们。
但愿老何先生不会在廿五年后再想起这个家
作者：benznj 留言时间：2010-09-04 00:13:04
老何，
我和你素昧平生，但我能感受你的心情，理解你的行动。人就是要为梦想而活，而不是仅为生存而活。仅为生存而活，生命就显得低廉。为梦想而活，生命才有意义，才有价值；为梦想而活，生命才有活力，生活才能愉快。不要让梦想的火花熄灭，要让它领引你前面的路。要勇敢追寻自己的梦，不要瞻前顾后，患得患失；要保持你的勇气，不要在乎别人怎样看。你为自己活，不为别人活。
希望你旅途愉快，平平安安。
作者：昭君 留言时间：2010-09-04 03:03:40
其实我想作者把这个故事写出来，并没有“支持”或者“赞同”老何的意思，而是表达一种无奈和理解（也许是无奈的理解，呵呵）。人生在世，无论男女，都有太多的捆绑和束缚，大概很多人都会有“把一切都丢掉”的“梦想”--尽管在绝大部分人，这只是一种“想象”而已。这几天正在读“Eat, Pray, Love”，书中的女主人公说“responsiblity”就是“ability to respond”- 可是，人不能总是respond to others' needs，也应该有精力和时间 respond to his or her own needs - 而我们这些婚姻中的人，是否也应该想一想，自己是否只要求对方重视自己的感受，而忽视了对方的needs呢？
http://blog.creaders.net/HANTIAN/user_blog_diary.php?did=68506
老何离家出走了，上个月他刚过了54岁的生日。
老 何是我在加拿大一位朋友的邻居。初识老何是三年以前，老何有点儿秃顶，说话文绉绉，走路慢吞吞，与他太太性格截然相反，是个出了名的好脾气。他太太有时会 说，老何是个没什么抱负的人，喜欢安静过日子，从来不会创新。不过家里孩子的事情他可放在心上，三个孩子学钢琴小提琴的都是他监督着坚持下来，各种文娱活 动孩子们都没落下。也没有不良嗜好，抽烟喝酒一概不粘。唯一的爱好就是种种院子的花。
所以，老何是太太们争相赞赏的模范老公，大家称赞的老好人！
所以，当我们听说他离家出走，怎么都觉得不可能。这么有责任心的人，怎么可能？
更何况，在我们感觉中，离家出走，是孩子干的事情，怎么会是一个快五十五岁，有着三个孩子和完整家庭的人。
但 事实就是这样，朋友说，老何似乎预谋已久，向公司辞了职，给家里留了信。信中请太太不要担心他，他一定会安全的回家，但说不清会走多久。还解释说，人生苦 短，为了孩子，为了家庭，在并不是很喜欢的地方，做着不是很喜欢的工作，忙碌了大半辈子，现在孩子长大了，一切稳定，生活安逸，他很想在自己还算不太老 时，走走自己想走的路。
我老公听说后，太有个性了。虽然这是很多男人都想过要做的事情，但绝大多数人是做不出来的。
我听了以后，突然发现，这哪里仅仅是男人想过要做的事情，也许很多女人都曾想过。比如我，我就想过，等我到了四十岁，要找一个安静的小山村住上一阵子，每天看看书拽拽文，无须等到每日夜深人静孩子入睡；为自己做些家常小菜，无须顾及丈夫儿子女儿每个人的口味。
其实，我们生活的都挺辛苦。
为了生活，我们不停奔波。为了好生活，我们不断努力。为了更好的生活，我们坚持不懈没有喘息的奋斗。为了让孩子有更好更好的生活，我们就这样没有间隙的忙碌劳作，直到有一天发现镜子中的自己老了。
朝九晚五，外出工作，回家做饭，
这就是普通人的大半生吧。这就是每一个普通人的大半生日子。记得小时候好像是思想品德课里学到未来理想之类的内容时，教材中有一句话令我印象深刻，“人要根据客观社会条件调整自己的理想。”
那 个时候死记硬背觉得这句话也说得通，可是现在回想过去，首先这句话就违背了理想的概念，理想是对未来事物的想象，如果到了眼前发现不对而调整理想，呵呵， 那离实现理想又很遥远了。很多时候，我们不是调整理想，而是放弃理想，选择现实。所以，通常说，理想是年轻人的事情，因为有点儿年纪的，很多都放弃或是搁 置了理想。
想想也是，人就是那么矛盾的动物，人生就是由那么多的矛盾堆积构成，才让一辈子显得忙忙碌碌。
夜间，跟老公讨论老何的事情，我跟老公埋怨着人着一辈子够辛苦，以及以后想到小山村去实现理想的事情，并强调了理想无法调整等等等等。
老公想了想说，不对，你这个理想可以调整。小山村就别去了，太不现实，你四十岁以后就买一个小咖啡吧，经营成咖啡书屋，你每天工作就在里面看书，写作，然后晚上回来做饭。这样不错吧。
我一听，问，那咖啡吧能挣钱吗？老公说，铁定就是赔钱的。
我跳：那怎么能行？老公说：所以，现在要辛苦，辛苦了才能达成自己理想。
咦，怎么好像有道理呢？
老公是会狡辩的，就此打住吧。
送给老何一首小诗（且算是诗吧），希望他能看见：
知道你离家的步伐不那么坚定，
理解你离家的心情不那么轻松，
希望你理想的达成不那么久远，
期盼你归家的速度不那么缓慢。
谢谢你真实的行动让我们深思，
祝福你，好人一生平安！
作者：在水一方 留言时间：2010-09-03 12:16:03
不光男人有这样的梦,女的也有,但敢去实践这种梦想的人不多.老何让人很佩服的.
作者：登山者 留言时间：2010-09-03 23:08:36
有一个男人离家出走,好些人为之叫好。我不由不感到,这世道之变化,己让人难辩是与非;曲与直。如果为了自巳的理想,仅留下一纸片扬长而去。请问置几十年的妻子于何地? 一个家,小孩大了,就可以撒手不管家了? 这一走妻子会高兴吗? 孩子们会安心吗? 如果不要这个家,干脆点,离了再走。
现在倒好,让太太一个人守空房挑重担。谁知这位先生走的偷偷摸摸, 何时再把家回。是去创业? 还是去浪迹花花世界。前二天在卫视上看到一个新闻。一个失踪了廿五年的父亲, 在外面结识的女人离开了, 自巳又生病瘫了, 不能动了, 才想到回家; 才知道有孩子。人不应该放任自己, 放弃责任。事后又希望别人用亲情用善良来原谅他们。
但愿老何先生不会在廿五年后再想起这个家
作者：benznj 留言时间：2010-09-04 00:13:04
老何，
我和你素昧平生，但我能感受你的心情，理解你的行动。人就是要为梦想而活，而不是仅为生存而活。仅为生存而活，生命就显得低廉。为梦想而活，生命才有意义，才有价值；为梦想而活，生命才有活力，生活才能愉快。不要让梦想的火花熄灭，要让它领引你前面的路。要勇敢追寻自己的梦，不要瞻前顾后，患得患失；要保持你的勇气，不要在乎别人怎样看。你为自己活，不为别人活。
希望你旅途愉快，平平安安。
作者：昭君 留言时间：2010-09-04 03:03:40
其实我想作者把这个故事写出来，并没有“支持”或者“赞同”老何的意思，而是表达一种无奈和理解（也许是无奈的理解，呵呵）。人生在世，无论男女，都有太多的捆绑和束缚，大概很多人都会有“把一切都丢掉”的“梦想”--尽管在绝大部分人，这只是一种“想象”而已。这几天正在读“Eat, Pray, Love”，书中的女主人公说“responsiblity”就是“ability to respond”- 可是，人不能总是respond to others' needs，也应该有精力和时间 respond to his or her own needs - 而我们这些婚姻中的人，是否也应该想一想，自己是否只要求对方重视自己的感受，而忽视了对方的needs呢？
The 10 American Industries That May Never Recover
http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/110592/the-10-american-industries-that-will-never-recover
It has become clear that jobs in some industries may never come back, or if they do it will take years or decades for a recovery.
24/7 Wall St. examined the Bureau of Labor Statistics' "Employment Situation Summary," and a number of sources that show layoffs by company and sector. The weakness in these sectors will make it harder for the private industry, even aided by the government, to bring down total unemployment from 9.6% and replace the 8.3 million jobs lost during the recession. The losses in these industries have to be offset by growth in others before there can be any net increase in American employment.
Some of the industries are obvious. Detroit will never employ the number of people it did five years ago. Domestic car sales hit 16 million in 2005 and 2006. That number will be closer to 11.5 million in 2010. More cars and light vehicles are made overseas now, in places like Mexico, to keep labor costs down.
Home construction is another industry that will almost certainly not recover. Home inventories are still extremely high, and home prices have fallen to the levels where they were in 2004. Prices in some markets, which include Las Vegas, Florida and parts of California, have dropped 60% to 70%. New construction in those markets will not begin again in the foreseeable future.
Here is the list of the 10 job categories that will not recover, based on 24/7 Wall St. research:
1. State and Local Government Jobs. The level of unemployment in this sector continues to rise. Budget imbalances in a number of states have already caused mass layoffs as tax receipts have dropped sharply. A recent report by the National Governors Association and the National Association of State Budget Officers found that 22 states furloughed employees and 25 laid off workers during fiscal year 2009-10. As an example, California slashed its workforce by tens of thousands -- some were laid off permanently and some are out of work and may be recalled. Former eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who is running for governor of California, said she will cut the state workforce by another 40,000 and sharply cut pensions for new workers. Forty-six states face budget shortfalls that will total $112 billion for the fiscal year ending next June, according to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. Municipalities face similar difficulties as property taxes plummet.
2. Construction. Nationwide construction unemployment was 17% in August, up from 16.5% in the same month last year. Over the course of the summer, government statistics have shown sharp drops in the construction of new homes and apartments. Building permits are also down. Most large housing markets have more than 12 months of unsold inventory on hand. There is also a "shadow inventory" of unsold homes -- those that have gone into foreclosure but have not been put on the market by banks. Foreclosures and defaults are expected to rise another 3 million to 3.5 million this year.
3. Installation, Maintenance and Repair. A set of industries related to housing and commercial construction and maintenance will also not generate new jobs. This is the employment sector the government calls "installation, maintenance and repair." Jobs in this sector are dependent on real estate. While many of the workers in these industries, such as plumbers and electricians, are relatively well paid and many work on homes and commercial buildings, some are mechanics who work on industrial equipment, aircraft and plants. These industries will be more crowded as people with training in related work leave the armed forces with the drawdown in troops in Iraq, which will put downward pressure on wages.
4. Automotive Manufacturing. General Motors has cut over 100,000 people since the beginning of the recession in December 2007. Ford has cut over 20,000 and Chrysler 15,000. This does not include foreign car companies with workers in the U.S. By some estimates, every car company worker layoff leads to three more layoffs in related industries that supply the car and light truck manufacturing business. That includes hundreds of car dealerships that have been closed in the last two years.
5. Pharmaceuticals. This industry has bled workers for three years, and that trend is likely to continue. The largest companies in the sector, such as Pfizer and Merck, have a number of blockbuster drugs that have lost their patent protection in the last decade. They have other pharmaceuticals that will lose that protection in the next decade. Sales of most of these drugs will move to generic companies that will sell them for far less, and erode critical revenue sources for the huge pharma firms. Most companies in the industry admit that they cannot replace the drugs that go off patent fast enough to keep their revenue high. The other reason employment in the sector will stay down and may drop further is that big drug companies are merging to save costs, and most of those costs are people. Pfizer has cut 30,000 people since the start of the recession. Merck has cut 25,000, and these companies and their peers expect that they will have to bring down costs even more.
6. Big Telecom. AT&T, Sprint-Nextel and Verizon have passed their peak employment levels. Employment in the sector will not recover and could shrink for two reasons: (1) The landline business is falling rapidly as home phone users move to VoIP, and (2) Increased adoption of cell phones. The cellular subscription business has been damaged by price wars meant to gain market share in the wireless industry -- one that has stagnated due to a 90% market penetration in the U.S. Sprint made substantial cuts as it posted three years of losses. The most recent was 2,500 people in November last year. In 2008, AT&T said it would lay off 12,000 people. Verizon recently said it would fire 13,000 employees from its land line business.
7. Newspapers. The layoffs in newspapers began in the 1980s as presses became more automated and tens of thousands of pressmen lost jobs. More recently, the changing habits of news consumption have increased Internet readers and hurt print, which has caused more job losses in press rooms. Reporters and editors have lost work as print subscribers have stopped paying for what they can get online for free. One recent study claims that the newspaper industry employee base fell from 767,000 jobs in 1998 to 619,000 jobs in 2008. The U.S. Department of Labor has forecast another 120,000 newspaper layoffs over the next 10 years.
8. Airlines. The number of pilots, flight attendants and ground crew workers is shrinking as consolidation and the recession have hurt the industry badly. Mergers in the last two years, between Delta and Northwest and United's merger with Continental, have decreased the number of large carriers in the U.S. by half. The Bureau of Transportation Statistics reported that the number of airline employees in the U.S. has fallen by 25% since 2001. And the latest merger firings have not yet been announced. Jobs for pilots and flight engineers fell by 30.4% in the third quarter of 2009 to 96,000 from 138,000 jobs in 2008, according to the BLS.
9. Realtors. The National Association of Realtors reports that there were 1,370,758 realtors in October 2006 -- the peak of the market. By the end of 2007, the figure was below 1.2 million. The number is below 1.1 million today and has continued on a downward trend. Home prices have dropped so far and so few homes are sold, that the ability to make money in the business disappears by the day.
10. Bank Tellers. Long before the recession, personal banking had begun to become automated. Over the last decade, banks have provided increasing access to banking accounts online, through call centers and at ATM kiosks. This technologically driven shift has been and will continue to be the chief cause of bank teller layoffs. According the the FDIC, since 2008, at the beginning of the recession, there have been 283 banks closed. Compared to the period 2000 to 2007, when only 27 banks closed, that's nearly 10 times as many bank closings in less than half the time. And as of Aug. 20, state and federal regulators had closed118 banks this year, making it on pace to exceed the 140 banks closed in 2009. Although nearly all of these banks have been acquired by other financial institutions, bank branch closings still occur -- employees and locations are consolidated. The single largest employee group at bank branches are bank tellers, and they will bear the brunt of the continued cost-cutting.
It has become clear that jobs in some industries may never come back, or if they do it will take years or decades for a recovery.
24/7 Wall St. examined the Bureau of Labor Statistics' "Employment Situation Summary," and a number of sources that show layoffs by company and sector. The weakness in these sectors will make it harder for the private industry, even aided by the government, to bring down total unemployment from 9.6% and replace the 8.3 million jobs lost during the recession. The losses in these industries have to be offset by growth in others before there can be any net increase in American employment.
Some of the industries are obvious. Detroit will never employ the number of people it did five years ago. Domestic car sales hit 16 million in 2005 and 2006. That number will be closer to 11.5 million in 2010. More cars and light vehicles are made overseas now, in places like Mexico, to keep labor costs down.
Home construction is another industry that will almost certainly not recover. Home inventories are still extremely high, and home prices have fallen to the levels where they were in 2004. Prices in some markets, which include Las Vegas, Florida and parts of California, have dropped 60% to 70%. New construction in those markets will not begin again in the foreseeable future.
Here is the list of the 10 job categories that will not recover, based on 24/7 Wall St. research:
1. State and Local Government Jobs. The level of unemployment in this sector continues to rise. Budget imbalances in a number of states have already caused mass layoffs as tax receipts have dropped sharply. A recent report by the National Governors Association and the National Association of State Budget Officers found that 22 states furloughed employees and 25 laid off workers during fiscal year 2009-10. As an example, California slashed its workforce by tens of thousands -- some were laid off permanently and some are out of work and may be recalled. Former eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who is running for governor of California, said she will cut the state workforce by another 40,000 and sharply cut pensions for new workers. Forty-six states face budget shortfalls that will total $112 billion for the fiscal year ending next June, according to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. Municipalities face similar difficulties as property taxes plummet.
2. Construction. Nationwide construction unemployment was 17% in August, up from 16.5% in the same month last year. Over the course of the summer, government statistics have shown sharp drops in the construction of new homes and apartments. Building permits are also down. Most large housing markets have more than 12 months of unsold inventory on hand. There is also a "shadow inventory" of unsold homes -- those that have gone into foreclosure but have not been put on the market by banks. Foreclosures and defaults are expected to rise another 3 million to 3.5 million this year.
3. Installation, Maintenance and Repair. A set of industries related to housing and commercial construction and maintenance will also not generate new jobs. This is the employment sector the government calls "installation, maintenance and repair." Jobs in this sector are dependent on real estate. While many of the workers in these industries, such as plumbers and electricians, are relatively well paid and many work on homes and commercial buildings, some are mechanics who work on industrial equipment, aircraft and plants. These industries will be more crowded as people with training in related work leave the armed forces with the drawdown in troops in Iraq, which will put downward pressure on wages.
4. Automotive Manufacturing. General Motors has cut over 100,000 people since the beginning of the recession in December 2007. Ford has cut over 20,000 and Chrysler 15,000. This does not include foreign car companies with workers in the U.S. By some estimates, every car company worker layoff leads to three more layoffs in related industries that supply the car and light truck manufacturing business. That includes hundreds of car dealerships that have been closed in the last two years.
5. Pharmaceuticals. This industry has bled workers for three years, and that trend is likely to continue. The largest companies in the sector, such as Pfizer and Merck, have a number of blockbuster drugs that have lost their patent protection in the last decade. They have other pharmaceuticals that will lose that protection in the next decade. Sales of most of these drugs will move to generic companies that will sell them for far less, and erode critical revenue sources for the huge pharma firms. Most companies in the industry admit that they cannot replace the drugs that go off patent fast enough to keep their revenue high. The other reason employment in the sector will stay down and may drop further is that big drug companies are merging to save costs, and most of those costs are people. Pfizer has cut 30,000 people since the start of the recession. Merck has cut 25,000, and these companies and their peers expect that they will have to bring down costs even more.
6. Big Telecom. AT&T, Sprint-Nextel and Verizon have passed their peak employment levels. Employment in the sector will not recover and could shrink for two reasons: (1) The landline business is falling rapidly as home phone users move to VoIP, and (2) Increased adoption of cell phones. The cellular subscription business has been damaged by price wars meant to gain market share in the wireless industry -- one that has stagnated due to a 90% market penetration in the U.S. Sprint made substantial cuts as it posted three years of losses. The most recent was 2,500 people in November last year. In 2008, AT&T said it would lay off 12,000 people. Verizon recently said it would fire 13,000 employees from its land line business.
7. Newspapers. The layoffs in newspapers began in the 1980s as presses became more automated and tens of thousands of pressmen lost jobs. More recently, the changing habits of news consumption have increased Internet readers and hurt print, which has caused more job losses in press rooms. Reporters and editors have lost work as print subscribers have stopped paying for what they can get online for free. One recent study claims that the newspaper industry employee base fell from 767,000 jobs in 1998 to 619,000 jobs in 2008. The U.S. Department of Labor has forecast another 120,000 newspaper layoffs over the next 10 years.
8. Airlines. The number of pilots, flight attendants and ground crew workers is shrinking as consolidation and the recession have hurt the industry badly. Mergers in the last two years, between Delta and Northwest and United's merger with Continental, have decreased the number of large carriers in the U.S. by half. The Bureau of Transportation Statistics reported that the number of airline employees in the U.S. has fallen by 25% since 2001. And the latest merger firings have not yet been announced. Jobs for pilots and flight engineers fell by 30.4% in the third quarter of 2009 to 96,000 from 138,000 jobs in 2008, according to the BLS.
9. Realtors. The National Association of Realtors reports that there were 1,370,758 realtors in October 2006 -- the peak of the market. By the end of 2007, the figure was below 1.2 million. The number is below 1.1 million today and has continued on a downward trend. Home prices have dropped so far and so few homes are sold, that the ability to make money in the business disappears by the day.
10. Bank Tellers. Long before the recession, personal banking had begun to become automated. Over the last decade, banks have provided increasing access to banking accounts online, through call centers and at ATM kiosks. This technologically driven shift has been and will continue to be the chief cause of bank teller layoffs. According the the FDIC, since 2008, at the beginning of the recession, there have been 283 banks closed. Compared to the period 2000 to 2007, when only 27 banks closed, that's nearly 10 times as many bank closings in less than half the time. And as of Aug. 20, state and federal regulators had closed118 banks this year, making it on pace to exceed the 140 banks closed in 2009. Although nearly all of these banks have been acquired by other financial institutions, bank branch closings still occur -- employees and locations are consolidated. The single largest employee group at bank branches are bank tellers, and they will bear the brunt of the continued cost-cutting.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
一地鸡毛
一地鸡毛 (2003.12.15) 2010-04-22 02:58:36
http://blog.creaders.net/muxin/user_blog_diary.php?did=59653
看到椰子的二十年同学聚会美文，想起了我那没有名气的破大学，哎，没有读成名牌大学是我胸口永远的痛（：。我们的大学同学中，也有偶尔的聚会，但不成气候，百样的人生，却是真实的人生一种，放在这儿的旧文，算是对椰文的另一种回应吧。----- 长长的题记
大学同寝室的臭虫几个月前回了一趟家乡，昨天在电话里向我细细汇报老同学行径。实际她和我不同班，我们那一级都是小班，加之是混合寝室，乱七八糟，四分五裂。他们的班长，团支书早已于95年离婚，据说为房子吵得不可开交。那一对当时多末温馨啊，班长总在我们宿舍楼下作无限深情状，“芳，芳。”待毕业时，人人都只记得团支书叫“芳”，班长叫“俊”。没想到没想到，芳俊姻缘夭折。
他班的老妖怪，大傻，小蚊子，大蚊子，至今还是孤家寡人，美女 Jingjing倒不再四处害人，嫁一美籍华人，还有几个，要末离婚，要末“神经兮兮瞎搞”。他班除芳俊恋外还出过几对未成正果的鸳鸯，读书时恩怨情仇太深，故如今无人敢组织聚会。臭虫自己，大二时在某大学跳舞厅里“勾搭”上了现在的老公，好好的在某著名汽车集团作个中层管理，寻死觅活去澳洲读什末 MBA,花去20万存款。澳洲留不下，曲线移民加拿大，用政府贷款一个读工程，一个读会计。遇上个流氓教授，因一中国学生与其学术纠纷，迁怒于臭虫老公，百般刁难，为拿个文凭还打官司。好不容易在美东找到年薪7万的工作，半年前公司倒闭，现在下岗在家。好在东方不亮西方亮，臭虫的那份临时工倒转为长工了，用她的话说，工资实在太低，在东边只能糊口。因上班太辛苦，来回开高速3小时，可怜的臭虫年纪一大把怀个孕还给不小心流掉了。
“阿木，你们班也好不到哪儿去。”是呀是呀，我班现状如下：小爱独自带着女儿开一公司，倒也大彻大悟炼成响当当一颗铜豌豆了；民婚后半年就离婚；郎神经分裂，同学已数次捐款，这我知道；L妹和好了多年的大学恋人分手，但还是朋友兼合作伙伴，只是发福得令人担心；八搭找一个舞蹈演员，最近倾其10年存款30万元送小姑娘去澳洲读书，用Tian的话说“自己寻死”；Tian和梅至今单身，Tian干脆一个人跑到英国读媒体管理，准备做个洋买办了。硕果仅存的我，蓓蓓，阿金，帽子，阿敏大约也已经被老公孩子折磨得不像人样了。真是殊途同归呀。张爱玲早说过了，人生是一袭华美的袍，上面爬满了虱子。你还想怎末样呀？
PS. 臭虫已经做了妈妈， 在美国安居乐业；Tian也刚生了小孩，小爱嫁到了澳大利亚，八搭大概还是单身.....其他人语焉不详。老木本人在香港地搵食。一转眼，半世人生过矣,.....
http://blog.creaders.net/muxin/user_blog_diary.php?did=59653
看到椰子的二十年同学聚会美文，想起了我那没有名气的破大学，哎，没有读成名牌大学是我胸口永远的痛（：。我们的大学同学中，也有偶尔的聚会，但不成气候，百样的人生，却是真实的人生一种，放在这儿的旧文，算是对椰文的另一种回应吧。----- 长长的题记
大学同寝室的臭虫几个月前回了一趟家乡，昨天在电话里向我细细汇报老同学行径。实际她和我不同班，我们那一级都是小班，加之是混合寝室，乱七八糟，四分五裂。他们的班长，团支书早已于95年离婚，据说为房子吵得不可开交。那一对当时多末温馨啊，班长总在我们宿舍楼下作无限深情状，“芳，芳。”待毕业时，人人都只记得团支书叫“芳”，班长叫“俊”。没想到没想到，芳俊姻缘夭折。
他班的老妖怪，大傻，小蚊子，大蚊子，至今还是孤家寡人，美女 Jingjing倒不再四处害人，嫁一美籍华人，还有几个，要末离婚，要末“神经兮兮瞎搞”。他班除芳俊恋外还出过几对未成正果的鸳鸯，读书时恩怨情仇太深，故如今无人敢组织聚会。臭虫自己，大二时在某大学跳舞厅里“勾搭”上了现在的老公，好好的在某著名汽车集团作个中层管理，寻死觅活去澳洲读什末 MBA,花去20万存款。澳洲留不下，曲线移民加拿大，用政府贷款一个读工程，一个读会计。遇上个流氓教授，因一中国学生与其学术纠纷，迁怒于臭虫老公，百般刁难，为拿个文凭还打官司。好不容易在美东找到年薪7万的工作，半年前公司倒闭，现在下岗在家。好在东方不亮西方亮，臭虫的那份临时工倒转为长工了，用她的话说，工资实在太低，在东边只能糊口。因上班太辛苦，来回开高速3小时，可怜的臭虫年纪一大把怀个孕还给不小心流掉了。
“阿木，你们班也好不到哪儿去。”是呀是呀，我班现状如下：小爱独自带着女儿开一公司，倒也大彻大悟炼成响当当一颗铜豌豆了；民婚后半年就离婚；郎神经分裂，同学已数次捐款，这我知道；L妹和好了多年的大学恋人分手，但还是朋友兼合作伙伴，只是发福得令人担心；八搭找一个舞蹈演员，最近倾其10年存款30万元送小姑娘去澳洲读书，用Tian的话说“自己寻死”；Tian和梅至今单身，Tian干脆一个人跑到英国读媒体管理，准备做个洋买办了。硕果仅存的我，蓓蓓，阿金，帽子，阿敏大约也已经被老公孩子折磨得不像人样了。真是殊途同归呀。张爱玲早说过了，人生是一袭华美的袍，上面爬满了虱子。你还想怎末样呀？
PS. 臭虫已经做了妈妈， 在美国安居乐业；Tian也刚生了小孩，小爱嫁到了澳大利亚，八搭大概还是单身.....其他人语焉不详。老木本人在香港地搵食。一转眼，半世人生过矣,.....
移二代：“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务”
移二代：“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务”
送交者: 夜之流星 2010年09月13日23:58:23 于 [新 大 陆] 发送悄悄话
“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”，一句数年来亲耳听到最雷人的一句话，当时雷得我接不上下句话了。这是我老婆的舅舅的女儿对她爸爸今后生计，不，应该说生死，一句绝到家的话。
我老婆第一次见到她舅舅是在她一岁那年，第二次见到她舅舅是在她21岁那年。这期间，她根本没有印象在遥远的美国还有一个叫舅舅的人存在，但20年后，突 然这个人降落在了浦东机场，而且已经双目近乎失明，体重将近110公斤，走路困难，生活很难完全自理。他是美洲史的教授，精通英语、法语、西班牙语、葡萄 牙语、日语，当然还有中文。但他现在一无所有了，他选择回国，回到他还在世的20年没见的母亲和妹妹身边。
当我听到这个故事的时候，已经是2009年他突发脑溢血住院之后。我老婆说在她和她妈妈最困难的时候，她舅舅当时了解她家当时的情况，但他没有选择伸出援 手，那时他在美国一所大学教书。时隔20年，他回来求助的时候，家人没有任何怨言的接纳了他，从此他一切的生活都由国内的亲戚帮忙，而美国政府可以给他 的，仅仅是那每个月800美元的残疾金。
他的钱呢？不是大学老师嘛 ？不是精通6国语言嘛？怎么也不应该没有一点积蓄啊！美国不是一个人人向往的高福利社会吗？这是我当时的一连串疑问，那时我还没有来到纽约。 令我更加想不到的是他竟然有两个明校就读的女儿。
重新整理一遍：他精通6国语言、曾是大学教授（正副不知道，但肯定不是终身教授）、有两个美国名校教育出来的“应该是”非常优秀的女儿、他是美国国籍。
但就是这两个“优秀”的女儿，同时放弃了给他最基本的帮助：替他找一家养老院。当然，故事并没这么简单。因为他在曾经任职的大学有一笔基金，基金要65岁 才可以提取（他女儿一口认定，这笔钱不可以提前支取），也就是说他的账户上有一笔几万美元的“未来”财产（他女儿坚称不能提前变现），因此美国政府驳回他 对Madicaid(美国公共医疗补助制)的申请。也就是说，他除了可以通过保险报销一部分医疗费，其他租房（他曾将房产抵押贷款供两个女儿读最好的学 校，后来贷款无力偿还被foreclosure）、请人陪护之类的费用都要自己承担。这样一来他的800美元残疾金就显得远远不够了。
他现在躺在上海的医院里，几次病危都被抢救过来，医院发出的病危通知至少7-8次。现在他已经恢复的可以在别人搀扶下走路，医生说这真是生命的奇迹。这期间，他女儿回来一次，我见到了这辈子听到的最昂贵的给父母的礼物：两袋MM巧克力豆。她父亲是高血压，血糖也高，根本是不可能吃的。最后老人还是很高兴的吃了，因为她女儿从美国来看他，他很高兴，他当时笑得像个孩子。
他把全部的精力和钱财都用来培养两个女儿，让他们一路过来都接受最好的教育， 自己省吃俭用吃了多年垃圾食品，以至于后来长期高血压和其他并发症致使双目近乎失明。为了给女儿最好，他债务累累，并失掉了房子。当时他女儿来沪看他的时 候，信誓旦旦的要照顾她爸爸，要接她爸爸回美国。可是在她回到美国以后，就开始“忙”起来，我搬来纽约后给她打了几十个电话，没有接过一次。现在她爸爸在 中国地N次延期的签证即将到期，如果他超期滞留，以后一旦出境再入境就困难了，现在必须找到以后长期在美国生活的办法。
美国东部时间9月13日晚10：00左右，我听到了那句 “我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”的振聋发聩的屁话，我崩溃了，我和当事人没有血缘关系，但我当时听得手脚发凉。这句话竟然出自一个 受过美国最高教育的年轻人之口，我们没有要求她给他爸拿多少钱出来, 只是要求她给她爸爸申请到Madicaid, 然后享受美国的基本待遇。一个受过美国最好教育的中国人,用这句话回绝了作为一个人最基本的要求。到现在，他还不知道他的女儿已经不要再尽任何义务了（从 来也没尽过），医生说他血压还是很不稳定，不能受到精神刺激，否则可能再次诱发脑溢血。我们不会再去找他女儿，但我想知道美国社会到底是什么样的。美国社 会中的华人社会到底是什么样的。
在此，我向全美华人求助，我只求一个问题的答案：在美国，真的就可以不赡养父母吗？任何州的任何法律都认同人只对“下”负责，没有义务对“上”负责吗？如 果真的是这样，我要立刻搬回中国。如果真的是这样，我只能说我错了，我太天真了，我放弃国内更好的待遇，多得多的多的赚钱机会来到美国，美国不但不是一块 梦想的土地，相反，这是一个禽兽居住的土地。请所有认真看完本文的华人，给我你们的答案。
（五楼的博客）
送交者: 夜之流星 2010年09月13日23:58:23 于 [新 大 陆] 发送悄悄话
“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”，一句数年来亲耳听到最雷人的一句话，当时雷得我接不上下句话了。这是我老婆的舅舅的女儿对她爸爸今后生计，不，应该说生死，一句绝到家的话。
我老婆第一次见到她舅舅是在她一岁那年，第二次见到她舅舅是在她21岁那年。这期间，她根本没有印象在遥远的美国还有一个叫舅舅的人存在，但20年后，突 然这个人降落在了浦东机场，而且已经双目近乎失明，体重将近110公斤，走路困难，生活很难完全自理。他是美洲史的教授，精通英语、法语、西班牙语、葡萄 牙语、日语，当然还有中文。但他现在一无所有了，他选择回国，回到他还在世的20年没见的母亲和妹妹身边。
当我听到这个故事的时候，已经是2009年他突发脑溢血住院之后。我老婆说在她和她妈妈最困难的时候，她舅舅当时了解她家当时的情况，但他没有选择伸出援 手，那时他在美国一所大学教书。时隔20年，他回来求助的时候，家人没有任何怨言的接纳了他，从此他一切的生活都由国内的亲戚帮忙，而美国政府可以给他 的，仅仅是那每个月800美元的残疾金。
他的钱呢？不是大学老师嘛 ？不是精通6国语言嘛？怎么也不应该没有一点积蓄啊！美国不是一个人人向往的高福利社会吗？这是我当时的一连串疑问，那时我还没有来到纽约。 令我更加想不到的是他竟然有两个明校就读的女儿。
重新整理一遍：他精通6国语言、曾是大学教授（正副不知道，但肯定不是终身教授）、有两个美国名校教育出来的“应该是”非常优秀的女儿、他是美国国籍。
但就是这两个“优秀”的女儿，同时放弃了给他最基本的帮助：替他找一家养老院。当然，故事并没这么简单。因为他在曾经任职的大学有一笔基金，基金要65岁 才可以提取（他女儿一口认定，这笔钱不可以提前支取），也就是说他的账户上有一笔几万美元的“未来”财产（他女儿坚称不能提前变现），因此美国政府驳回他 对Madicaid(美国公共医疗补助制)的申请。也就是说，他除了可以通过保险报销一部分医疗费，其他租房（他曾将房产抵押贷款供两个女儿读最好的学 校，后来贷款无力偿还被foreclosure）、请人陪护之类的费用都要自己承担。这样一来他的800美元残疾金就显得远远不够了。
他现在躺在上海的医院里，几次病危都被抢救过来，医院发出的病危通知至少7-8次。现在他已经恢复的可以在别人搀扶下走路，医生说这真是生命的奇迹。这期间，他女儿回来一次，我见到了这辈子听到的最昂贵的给父母的礼物：两袋MM巧克力豆。她父亲是高血压，血糖也高，根本是不可能吃的。最后老人还是很高兴的吃了，因为她女儿从美国来看他，他很高兴，他当时笑得像个孩子。
他把全部的精力和钱财都用来培养两个女儿，让他们一路过来都接受最好的教育， 自己省吃俭用吃了多年垃圾食品，以至于后来长期高血压和其他并发症致使双目近乎失明。为了给女儿最好，他债务累累，并失掉了房子。当时他女儿来沪看他的时 候，信誓旦旦的要照顾她爸爸，要接她爸爸回美国。可是在她回到美国以后，就开始“忙”起来，我搬来纽约后给她打了几十个电话，没有接过一次。现在她爸爸在 中国地N次延期的签证即将到期，如果他超期滞留，以后一旦出境再入境就困难了，现在必须找到以后长期在美国生活的办法。
美国东部时间9月13日晚10：00左右，我听到了那句 “我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”的振聋发聩的屁话，我崩溃了，我和当事人没有血缘关系，但我当时听得手脚发凉。这句话竟然出自一个 受过美国最高教育的年轻人之口，我们没有要求她给他爸拿多少钱出来, 只是要求她给她爸爸申请到Madicaid, 然后享受美国的基本待遇。一个受过美国最好教育的中国人,用这句话回绝了作为一个人最基本的要求。到现在，他还不知道他的女儿已经不要再尽任何义务了（从 来也没尽过），医生说他血压还是很不稳定，不能受到精神刺激，否则可能再次诱发脑溢血。我们不会再去找他女儿，但我想知道美国社会到底是什么样的。美国社 会中的华人社会到底是什么样的。
在此，我向全美华人求助，我只求一个问题的答案：在美国，真的就可以不赡养父母吗？任何州的任何法律都认同人只对“下”负责，没有义务对“上”负责吗？如 果真的是这样，我要立刻搬回中国。如果真的是这样，我只能说我错了，我太天真了，我放弃国内更好的待遇，多得多的多的赚钱机会来到美国，美国不但不是一块 梦想的土地，相反，这是一个禽兽居住的土地。请所有认真看完本文的华人，给我你们的答案。
（五楼的博客）
移二代：“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务”
移二代：“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务”
送交者: 夜之流星 2010年09月13日23:58:23 于 [新 大 陆] 发送悄悄话
http://bbs.creaders.net/newland/bbsviewer.php?trd_id=510787
“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”，一句数年来亲耳听到最雷人的一句话，当时雷得我接不上下句话了。这是我老婆的舅舅的女儿对她爸爸今后生计，不，应该说生死，一句绝到家的话。
我老婆第一次见到她舅舅是在她一岁那年，第二次见到她舅舅是在她21岁那年。这期间，她根本没有印象在遥远的美国还有一个叫舅舅的人存在，但20年后，突 然这个人降落在了浦东机场，而且已经双目近乎失明，体重将近110公斤，走路困难，生活很难完全自理。他是美洲史的教授，精通英语、法语、西班牙语、葡萄 牙语、日语，当然还有中文。但他现在一无所有了，他选择回国，回到他还在世的20年没见的母亲和妹妹身边。
当我听到这个故事的时候，已经是2009年他突发脑溢血住院之后。我老婆说在她和她妈妈最困难的时候，她舅舅当时了解她家当时的情况，但他没有选择伸出援 手，那时他在美国一所大学教书。时隔20年，他回来求助的时候，家人没有任何怨言的接纳了他，从此他一切的生活都由国内的亲戚帮忙，而美国政府可以给他 的，仅仅是那每个月800美元的残疾金。
他的钱呢？不是大学老师嘛 ？不是精通6国语言嘛？怎么也不应该没有一点积蓄啊！美国不是一个人人向往的高福利社会吗？这是我当时的一连串疑问，那时我还没有来到纽约。 令我更加想不到的是他竟然有两个明校就读的女儿。
重新整理一遍：他精通6国语言、曾是大学教授（正副不知道，但肯定不是终身教授）、有两个美国名校教育出来的“应该是”非常优秀的女儿、他是美国国籍。
但就是这两个“优秀”的女儿，同时放弃了给他最基本的帮助：替他找一家养老院。当然，故事并没这么简单。因为他在曾经任职的大学有一笔基金，基金要65岁 才可以提取（他女儿一口认定，这笔钱不可以提前支取），也就是说他的账户上有一笔几万美元的“未来”财产（他女儿坚称不能提前变现），因此美国政府驳回他 对Madicaid(美国公共医疗补助制)的申请。也就是说，他除了可以通过保险报销一部分医疗费，其他租房（他曾将房产抵押贷款供两个女儿读最好的学 校，后来贷款无力偿还被foreclosure）、请人陪护之类的费用都要自己承担。这样一来他的800美元残疾金就显得远远不够了。
他现在躺在上海的医院里，几次病危都被抢救过来，医院发出的病危通知至少7-8次。现在他已经恢复的可以在别人搀扶下走路，医生说这真是生命的奇迹。这期间，他女儿回来一次，我见到了这辈子听到的最昂贵的给父母的礼物：两袋MM巧克力豆。她父亲是高血压，血糖也高，根本是不可能吃的。最后老人还是很高兴的吃了，因为她女儿从美国来看他，他很高兴，他当时笑得像个孩子。
他把全部的精力和钱财都用来培养两个女儿，让他们一路过来都接受最好的教育， 自己省吃俭用吃了多年垃圾食品，以至于后来长期高血压和其他并发症致使双目近乎失明。为了给女儿最好，他债务累累，并失掉了房子。当时他女儿来沪看他的时 候，信誓旦旦的要照顾她爸爸，要接她爸爸回美国。可是在她回到美国以后，就开始“忙”起来，我搬来纽约后给她打了几十个电话，没有接过一次。现在她爸爸在 中国地N次延期的签证即将到期，如果他超期滞留，以后一旦出境再入境就困难了，现在必须找到以后长期在美国生活的办法。
美国东部时间9月13日晚10：00左右，我听到了那句 “我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”的振聋发聩的屁话，我崩溃了，我和当事人没有血缘关系，但我当时听得手脚发凉。这句话竟然出自一个 受过美国最高教育的年轻人之口，我们没有要求她给他爸拿多少钱出来, 只是要求她给她爸爸申请到Madicaid, 然后享受美国的基本待遇。一个受过美国最好教育的中国人,用这句话回绝了作为一个人最基本的要求。到现在，他还不知道他的女儿已经不要再尽任何义务了（从 来也没尽过），医生说他血压还是很不稳定，不能受到精神刺激，否则可能再次诱发脑溢血。我们不会再去找他女儿，但我想知道美国社会到底是什么样的。美国社 会中的华人社会到底是什么样的。
在此，我向全美华人求助，我只求一个问题的答案：在美国，真的就可以不赡养父母吗？任何州的任何法律都认同人只对“下”负责，没有义务对“上”负责吗？如 果真的是这样，我要立刻搬回中国。如果真的是这样，我只能说我错了，我太天真了，我放弃国内更好的待遇，多得多的多的赚钱机会来到美国，美国不但不是一块 梦想的土地，相反，这是一个禽兽居住的土地。请所有认真看完本文的华人，给我你们的答案。
（五楼的博客）
送交者: 夜之流星 2010年09月13日23:58:23 于 [新 大 陆] 发送悄悄话
http://bbs.creaders.net/newland/bbsviewer.php?trd_id=510787
“我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”，一句数年来亲耳听到最雷人的一句话，当时雷得我接不上下句话了。这是我老婆的舅舅的女儿对她爸爸今后生计，不，应该说生死，一句绝到家的话。
我老婆第一次见到她舅舅是在她一岁那年，第二次见到她舅舅是在她21岁那年。这期间，她根本没有印象在遥远的美国还有一个叫舅舅的人存在，但20年后，突 然这个人降落在了浦东机场，而且已经双目近乎失明，体重将近110公斤，走路困难，生活很难完全自理。他是美洲史的教授，精通英语、法语、西班牙语、葡萄 牙语、日语，当然还有中文。但他现在一无所有了，他选择回国，回到他还在世的20年没见的母亲和妹妹身边。
当我听到这个故事的时候，已经是2009年他突发脑溢血住院之后。我老婆说在她和她妈妈最困难的时候，她舅舅当时了解她家当时的情况，但他没有选择伸出援 手，那时他在美国一所大学教书。时隔20年，他回来求助的时候，家人没有任何怨言的接纳了他，从此他一切的生活都由国内的亲戚帮忙，而美国政府可以给他 的，仅仅是那每个月800美元的残疾金。
他的钱呢？不是大学老师嘛 ？不是精通6国语言嘛？怎么也不应该没有一点积蓄啊！美国不是一个人人向往的高福利社会吗？这是我当时的一连串疑问，那时我还没有来到纽约。 令我更加想不到的是他竟然有两个明校就读的女儿。
重新整理一遍：他精通6国语言、曾是大学教授（正副不知道，但肯定不是终身教授）、有两个美国名校教育出来的“应该是”非常优秀的女儿、他是美国国籍。
但就是这两个“优秀”的女儿，同时放弃了给他最基本的帮助：替他找一家养老院。当然，故事并没这么简单。因为他在曾经任职的大学有一笔基金，基金要65岁 才可以提取（他女儿一口认定，这笔钱不可以提前支取），也就是说他的账户上有一笔几万美元的“未来”财产（他女儿坚称不能提前变现），因此美国政府驳回他 对Madicaid(美国公共医疗补助制)的申请。也就是说，他除了可以通过保险报销一部分医疗费，其他租房（他曾将房产抵押贷款供两个女儿读最好的学 校，后来贷款无力偿还被foreclosure）、请人陪护之类的费用都要自己承担。这样一来他的800美元残疾金就显得远远不够了。
他现在躺在上海的医院里，几次病危都被抢救过来，医院发出的病危通知至少7-8次。现在他已经恢复的可以在别人搀扶下走路，医生说这真是生命的奇迹。这期间，他女儿回来一次，我见到了这辈子听到的最昂贵的给父母的礼物：两袋MM巧克力豆。她父亲是高血压，血糖也高，根本是不可能吃的。最后老人还是很高兴的吃了，因为她女儿从美国来看他，他很高兴，他当时笑得像个孩子。
他把全部的精力和钱财都用来培养两个女儿，让他们一路过来都接受最好的教育， 自己省吃俭用吃了多年垃圾食品，以至于后来长期高血压和其他并发症致使双目近乎失明。为了给女儿最好，他债务累累，并失掉了房子。当时他女儿来沪看他的时 候，信誓旦旦的要照顾她爸爸，要接她爸爸回美国。可是在她回到美国以后，就开始“忙”起来，我搬来纽约后给她打了几十个电话，没有接过一次。现在她爸爸在 中国地N次延期的签证即将到期，如果他超期滞留，以后一旦出境再入境就困难了，现在必须找到以后长期在美国生活的办法。
美国东部时间9月13日晚10：00左右，我听到了那句 “我在美国，我没有赡养父母义务，不行你们可以去告我”的振聋发聩的屁话，我崩溃了，我和当事人没有血缘关系，但我当时听得手脚发凉。这句话竟然出自一个 受过美国最高教育的年轻人之口，我们没有要求她给他爸拿多少钱出来, 只是要求她给她爸爸申请到Madicaid, 然后享受美国的基本待遇。一个受过美国最好教育的中国人,用这句话回绝了作为一个人最基本的要求。到现在，他还不知道他的女儿已经不要再尽任何义务了（从 来也没尽过），医生说他血压还是很不稳定，不能受到精神刺激，否则可能再次诱发脑溢血。我们不会再去找他女儿，但我想知道美国社会到底是什么样的。美国社 会中的华人社会到底是什么样的。
在此，我向全美华人求助，我只求一个问题的答案：在美国，真的就可以不赡养父母吗？任何州的任何法律都认同人只对“下”负责，没有义务对“上”负责吗？如 果真的是这样，我要立刻搬回中国。如果真的是这样，我只能说我错了，我太天真了，我放弃国内更好的待遇，多得多的多的赚钱机会来到美国，美国不但不是一块 梦想的土地，相反，这是一个禽兽居住的土地。请所有认真看完本文的华人，给我你们的答案。
（五楼的博客）
6 Things You Should Never Reveal on Facebook
6 Things You Should Never Reveal on Facebook
by Kathy Kristof
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/110674/6-things-you-should-never-reveal-on-facebook
provided by
cbsmoneywatch.jpg
The whole social networking phenomenon has millions of Americans sharing their photos, favorite songs and details about their class reunions on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and dozens of similar sites. But there are a handful of personal details that you should never say if you don't want criminals — cyber or otherwise — to rob you blind, according to Beth Givens, executive director of the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse.
More from CBSMoneyWatch.com:
• 6 Things You Should Never Do on Twitter or Facebook
• Couch Potato's Guide to Getting Rich
• New Scams Rampant on Facebook
The folks at Insure.com also say that ill-advised Facebook postings increasingly can get your insurance cancelled or cause you to pay dramatically more for everything from auto to life insurance coverage. By now almost everybody knows that those drunken party photos could cost you a job, too.
[See 7 Things to Stop Doing Now on Facebook]
You can certainly enjoy networking and sharing photos, but you should know that sharing some information puts you at risk. What should you never say on Facebook, Twitter or any other social networking site?
Your Birth Date and Place
Sure, you can say what day you were born, but if you provide the year and where you were born too, you've just given identity thieves a key to stealing your financial life, said Givens. A study done by Carnegie Mellon showed that a date and place of birth could be used to predict most — and sometimes all — of the numbers in your Social Security number, she said.
Vacation Plans
There may be a better way to say "Rob me, please" than posting something along the lines of: "Count-down to Maui! Two days and Ritz Carlton, here we come!" on Twitter. But it's hard to think of one. Post the photos on Facebook when you return, if you like. But don't invite criminals in by telling them specifically when you'll be gone.
[See Burglars Picked Houses Based on Facebook Updates]
Home Address
Do I have to elaborate? A study recently released by the Ponemon Institute found that users of Social Media sites were at greater risk of physical and identity theft because of the information they were sharing. Some 40% listed their home address on the sites; 65% didn't even attempt to block out strangers with privacy settings. And 60% said they weren't confident that their "friends" were really just people they know.
Confessionals
You may hate your job; lie on your taxes; or be a recreational user of illicit drugs, but this is no place to confess. Employers commonly peruse social networking sites to determine who to hire — and, sometimes, who to fire. Need proof? In just the past few weeks, an emergency dispatcher was fired in Wisconsin for revealing drug use; a waitress got canned for complaining about customers and the Pittsburgh Pirate's mascot was dumped for bashing the team on Facebook. One study done last year estimated that 8% of companies fired someone for "misuse" of social media.
Password Clues
If you've got online accounts, you've probably answered a dozen different security questions, telling your bank or brokerage firm your Mom's maiden name; the church you were married in; or the name of your favorite song. Got that same stuff on the information page of your Facebook profile? You're giving crooks an easy way to guess your passwords.
Risky Behaviors
You take your classic Camaro out for street racing, soar above the hills in a hang glider, or smoke like a chimney? Insurers are increasingly turning to the web to figure out whether their applicants and customers are putting their lives or property at risk, according to Insure.com. So far, there's no efficient way to collect the data, so cancellations and rate hikes are rare. But the technology is fast evolving, according to a paper written by Celent, a financial services research and consulting firm.
by Kathy Kristof
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/110674/6-things-you-should-never-reveal-on-facebook
provided by
cbsmoneywatch.jpg
The whole social networking phenomenon has millions of Americans sharing their photos, favorite songs and details about their class reunions on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and dozens of similar sites. But there are a handful of personal details that you should never say if you don't want criminals — cyber or otherwise — to rob you blind, according to Beth Givens, executive director of the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse.
More from CBSMoneyWatch.com:
• 6 Things You Should Never Do on Twitter or Facebook
• Couch Potato's Guide to Getting Rich
• New Scams Rampant on Facebook
The folks at Insure.com also say that ill-advised Facebook postings increasingly can get your insurance cancelled or cause you to pay dramatically more for everything from auto to life insurance coverage. By now almost everybody knows that those drunken party photos could cost you a job, too.
[See 7 Things to Stop Doing Now on Facebook]
You can certainly enjoy networking and sharing photos, but you should know that sharing some information puts you at risk. What should you never say on Facebook, Twitter or any other social networking site?
Your Birth Date and Place
Sure, you can say what day you were born, but if you provide the year and where you were born too, you've just given identity thieves a key to stealing your financial life, said Givens. A study done by Carnegie Mellon showed that a date and place of birth could be used to predict most — and sometimes all — of the numbers in your Social Security number, she said.
Vacation Plans
There may be a better way to say "Rob me, please" than posting something along the lines of: "Count-down to Maui! Two days and Ritz Carlton, here we come!" on Twitter. But it's hard to think of one. Post the photos on Facebook when you return, if you like. But don't invite criminals in by telling them specifically when you'll be gone.
[See Burglars Picked Houses Based on Facebook Updates]
Home Address
Do I have to elaborate? A study recently released by the Ponemon Institute found that users of Social Media sites were at greater risk of physical and identity theft because of the information they were sharing. Some 40% listed their home address on the sites; 65% didn't even attempt to block out strangers with privacy settings. And 60% said they weren't confident that their "friends" were really just people they know.
Confessionals
You may hate your job; lie on your taxes; or be a recreational user of illicit drugs, but this is no place to confess. Employers commonly peruse social networking sites to determine who to hire — and, sometimes, who to fire. Need proof? In just the past few weeks, an emergency dispatcher was fired in Wisconsin for revealing drug use; a waitress got canned for complaining about customers and the Pittsburgh Pirate's mascot was dumped for bashing the team on Facebook. One study done last year estimated that 8% of companies fired someone for "misuse" of social media.
Password Clues
If you've got online accounts, you've probably answered a dozen different security questions, telling your bank or brokerage firm your Mom's maiden name; the church you were married in; or the name of your favorite song. Got that same stuff on the information page of your Facebook profile? You're giving crooks an easy way to guess your passwords.
Risky Behaviors
You take your classic Camaro out for street racing, soar above the hills in a hang glider, or smoke like a chimney? Insurers are increasingly turning to the web to figure out whether their applicants and customers are putting their lives or property at risk, according to Insure.com. So far, there's no efficient way to collect the data, so cancellations and rate hikes are rare. But the technology is fast evolving, according to a paper written by Celent, a financial services research and consulting firm.
海外华人之痛：你回国吧，中国多复杂啊
海外华人之痛：你回国吧，中国多复杂啊
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?atid=288705&id=295800
在国外呆的时间长了，你会发现，几乎你所遇见的每一个中国人，都是一个祥林嫂。他们喋喋不休地反反复复地披星戴月地不断追问你追问自己：以后想不想回国?以后想不想回国?以后想不想回国?……回还是不回，这真是一道算也算不清的多元方程题。
曾经，出国留学读学位，毕业留下找工作，娶妻生子买house，是一个水到渠成毋庸置疑的选择。但突然有一天，“市场经济的春风吹遍了祖国的大地”，一直在国外的实验室、公司小隔间里默默耕耘着的中国人猛地抬头，发现太平洋彼岸，祖国的大地上已千树万树梨花开了。
紧接着，“坏消息”接踵而来。留学生开始听说以前住他隔壁的张三已经是国内某某大公司的经理了;还有那个人不怎么地的李四，听说他小蜜已经换了半打了;然后，在一次回国的旅途中，他发现自己在国外吃的、穿的、玩的、乐的，只能望国内朋友们的项背了;还发现自己在为一个小数据的打印错误而向自己的部门经理频频道歉点头哈腰的同时，他的老同学，那个以前远远不如他的王二，此刻正坐在KTV包间里打着手机，说“那个房地产的项目贷款，我们还可以再协商协商……”
他也免不了察觉，自己的全部精神生活──如果他年少时候的“愤青”气息还没有被国外的阳光彻底晒化的话──就是窝在某个中文论坛，发两句明天就要被版主当作垃圾清理掉的牢骚而已，而与此同时，他的某某朋友已经成了国内媒体上的 “专家学者”，在那些激动人心的关于“转型”的辩论中频频发言……
不错，他的确，或最终会，住上美丽的房子。在经过那么多年辛辛苦苦地读书、胆战心惊地找工作之后，“一些梦”实现了。买了大房子，门外有草坪、草坪外有栅栏、栅栏里有花丛。可是，说到底，有一天，他在院子里浇花的时候，突然沮丧地意识到，这样的生活，不过是那曾经被他耻笑的农民理想“面朝黄土背朝天，老婆孩子热炕头”的海外版本而已。
那么，他到底还要些什么呢?生活里到底还有些什么比“面朝黄土背朝天，老婆孩子热炕头”更伟大更性感更美丽呢?更大的房子?他现在的房子已经大得可以闹鬼了。更正宗的夫妻肺片?说实话，出国这么多年，他已经对辣的不那么感冒了。更多的工资?那是当然，不过他下次涨工资的日子其实也不远了……
说到底，他内心的隐隐作疼，与这一切“物质生活”都没有什么关系，他所不能忍受的，是“历史的终结”，是那种生活的“尽头感”，是曾经奔涌向前的时间突然慢下来、停下来、无处可去，在他家那美丽的院子里，渐渐化为一潭寂静的死水。窗外的草坪，那么绿，绿得那么持之以恒，那么兢兢业业，那么克尽职守，那么几十年如一日，简直就像是……死亡。
而国内的生活呢?虽然据说有很多腐败，有很多贫富差距，小孩子有做不完的作业，农民有跑不完的上访，工人在不停下岗，甚至据说还曾经有人在路上走着走着就给逮进去打死了，可是，对于有志青年，中国这个大漩涡，是一个多么大的“可能性”的矿藏：愤青有那么多东西可战斗，资青有那么多钞票可以赚，文青有那么多感情可以抒发──历史还远远没有抵达它的尽头，未来还坐在红盖头里面激发他的想象力，他还可以那么全力以赴地向它奔跑，并且从这全力以赴中感受到“意义”凛冽的吹拂。如果是这样，干嘛不回国算了?难言之痛，一回了之。
这时候，他又开始嗫嚅。他开始怀疑自己对国内的种种向往，也许只是“距离产生的美感”。他开始担心如果凑近了观察，会看到祖国脸上的麻子和粉刺。“毕竟，在中国创业，是要靠关系的，我又没有什么关系，回去也白回去。”他说。“这里再怎么不好，基本上还是一个凭本事和能力吃饭的地方，至少还有公平可言，不用平白无故受很多气。”他又说。
接着，他想到国内走到哪里人们都是一拥而上没人排队随地吐痰环境污染严重，他感到头疼。又想到国内那些衣衫褴褛的民工一天工作12个小时到年底竟然可能拿不到工资，他感到齿冷。还想到那些个被假药假酒假奶粉毒害的人们，因此又不可避免地感到胃疼。他越想越多，越想越疼，越想越害怕，最后不可避免地抵达了“文明”、“民主”、“法治”等光芒四射的高度
于是他陷入了僵局。他一会儿想到国内张三李四王二的刺激生活，一会儿又想到了国外王二李四张三的安稳命运。国内的生活，他看不到上限，因而充满希望，但也看不到下限，因而特别危险;国外的生活，他看得到下限，因而感到安全，但也看得到上限，所以特别乏味。国内的生活像是买股票，可能升得快，也可能跌得快;而国外的生活像是定期存款，挣不到哪里去，却也亏不到哪里去。啊，海外的游子，一个个高学历、高收入、高素质的三高“白骨精”，就这样被逼成了成天喋喋不休自言自语的“祥林嫂”。
有一次回国，我和几个朋友吃饭，其中一个说“你回国吧，中国多复杂啊……”复杂，嗯，就是这个词，恰切，精确。对于一个有胃口的灵魂来说，“复杂”是多么基本的一种需要，而欧洲阳光下的郊区，美得那么纯粹，那么安静，对于习惯惹是生非的人来说，说到底是一种灾荒
对“复杂”的向往，让我暗暗希望，自己能过一辈子东跑西窜、颠沛流离的生活。这个愿望，使我觉得，自己是多么贪婪的一个人。贪图安稳，又贪恋刺激，回不回国，不仅仅是一个“创业”的问题，甚至不仅仅是一个“文化”的问题，如果说这种贪婪是一种“犯贱”的话，我坚持要把它推卸到“娜拉的悲剧”这个哲学命题上去。
在历史的道路上，人们披荆斩棘、奋勇前进，可是到达了历史的终点之后，啊，站在欧洲五月的美丽风景里，我惊恐而又伤感地想，人们对那坎坷不平然而激荡人心的道路，又犯起了“思乡病”。
http://digest.creaders.net/articleViewer.php?atid=288705&id=295800
在国外呆的时间长了，你会发现，几乎你所遇见的每一个中国人，都是一个祥林嫂。他们喋喋不休地反反复复地披星戴月地不断追问你追问自己：以后想不想回国?以后想不想回国?以后想不想回国?……回还是不回，这真是一道算也算不清的多元方程题。
曾经，出国留学读学位，毕业留下找工作，娶妻生子买house，是一个水到渠成毋庸置疑的选择。但突然有一天，“市场经济的春风吹遍了祖国的大地”，一直在国外的实验室、公司小隔间里默默耕耘着的中国人猛地抬头，发现太平洋彼岸，祖国的大地上已千树万树梨花开了。
紧接着，“坏消息”接踵而来。留学生开始听说以前住他隔壁的张三已经是国内某某大公司的经理了;还有那个人不怎么地的李四，听说他小蜜已经换了半打了;然后，在一次回国的旅途中，他发现自己在国外吃的、穿的、玩的、乐的，只能望国内朋友们的项背了;还发现自己在为一个小数据的打印错误而向自己的部门经理频频道歉点头哈腰的同时，他的老同学，那个以前远远不如他的王二，此刻正坐在KTV包间里打着手机，说“那个房地产的项目贷款，我们还可以再协商协商……”
他也免不了察觉，自己的全部精神生活──如果他年少时候的“愤青”气息还没有被国外的阳光彻底晒化的话──就是窝在某个中文论坛，发两句明天就要被版主当作垃圾清理掉的牢骚而已，而与此同时，他的某某朋友已经成了国内媒体上的 “专家学者”，在那些激动人心的关于“转型”的辩论中频频发言……
不错，他的确，或最终会，住上美丽的房子。在经过那么多年辛辛苦苦地读书、胆战心惊地找工作之后，“一些梦”实现了。买了大房子，门外有草坪、草坪外有栅栏、栅栏里有花丛。可是，说到底，有一天，他在院子里浇花的时候，突然沮丧地意识到，这样的生活，不过是那曾经被他耻笑的农民理想“面朝黄土背朝天，老婆孩子热炕头”的海外版本而已。
那么，他到底还要些什么呢?生活里到底还有些什么比“面朝黄土背朝天，老婆孩子热炕头”更伟大更性感更美丽呢?更大的房子?他现在的房子已经大得可以闹鬼了。更正宗的夫妻肺片?说实话，出国这么多年，他已经对辣的不那么感冒了。更多的工资?那是当然，不过他下次涨工资的日子其实也不远了……
说到底，他内心的隐隐作疼，与这一切“物质生活”都没有什么关系，他所不能忍受的，是“历史的终结”，是那种生活的“尽头感”，是曾经奔涌向前的时间突然慢下来、停下来、无处可去，在他家那美丽的院子里，渐渐化为一潭寂静的死水。窗外的草坪，那么绿，绿得那么持之以恒，那么兢兢业业，那么克尽职守，那么几十年如一日，简直就像是……死亡。
而国内的生活呢?虽然据说有很多腐败，有很多贫富差距，小孩子有做不完的作业，农民有跑不完的上访，工人在不停下岗，甚至据说还曾经有人在路上走着走着就给逮进去打死了，可是，对于有志青年，中国这个大漩涡，是一个多么大的“可能性”的矿藏：愤青有那么多东西可战斗，资青有那么多钞票可以赚，文青有那么多感情可以抒发──历史还远远没有抵达它的尽头，未来还坐在红盖头里面激发他的想象力，他还可以那么全力以赴地向它奔跑，并且从这全力以赴中感受到“意义”凛冽的吹拂。如果是这样，干嘛不回国算了?难言之痛，一回了之。
这时候，他又开始嗫嚅。他开始怀疑自己对国内的种种向往，也许只是“距离产生的美感”。他开始担心如果凑近了观察，会看到祖国脸上的麻子和粉刺。“毕竟，在中国创业，是要靠关系的，我又没有什么关系，回去也白回去。”他说。“这里再怎么不好，基本上还是一个凭本事和能力吃饭的地方，至少还有公平可言，不用平白无故受很多气。”他又说。
接着，他想到国内走到哪里人们都是一拥而上没人排队随地吐痰环境污染严重，他感到头疼。又想到国内那些衣衫褴褛的民工一天工作12个小时到年底竟然可能拿不到工资，他感到齿冷。还想到那些个被假药假酒假奶粉毒害的人们，因此又不可避免地感到胃疼。他越想越多，越想越疼，越想越害怕，最后不可避免地抵达了“文明”、“民主”、“法治”等光芒四射的高度
于是他陷入了僵局。他一会儿想到国内张三李四王二的刺激生活，一会儿又想到了国外王二李四张三的安稳命运。国内的生活，他看不到上限，因而充满希望，但也看不到下限，因而特别危险;国外的生活，他看得到下限，因而感到安全，但也看得到上限，所以特别乏味。国内的生活像是买股票，可能升得快，也可能跌得快;而国外的生活像是定期存款，挣不到哪里去，却也亏不到哪里去。啊，海外的游子，一个个高学历、高收入、高素质的三高“白骨精”，就这样被逼成了成天喋喋不休自言自语的“祥林嫂”。
有一次回国，我和几个朋友吃饭，其中一个说“你回国吧，中国多复杂啊……”复杂，嗯，就是这个词，恰切，精确。对于一个有胃口的灵魂来说，“复杂”是多么基本的一种需要，而欧洲阳光下的郊区，美得那么纯粹，那么安静，对于习惯惹是生非的人来说，说到底是一种灾荒
对“复杂”的向往，让我暗暗希望，自己能过一辈子东跑西窜、颠沛流离的生活。这个愿望，使我觉得，自己是多么贪婪的一个人。贪图安稳，又贪恋刺激，回不回国，不仅仅是一个“创业”的问题，甚至不仅仅是一个“文化”的问题，如果说这种贪婪是一种“犯贱”的话，我坚持要把它推卸到“娜拉的悲剧”这个哲学命题上去。
在历史的道路上，人们披荆斩棘、奋勇前进，可是到达了历史的终点之后，啊，站在欧洲五月的美丽风景里，我惊恐而又伤感地想，人们对那坎坷不平然而激荡人心的道路，又犯起了“思乡病”。
亿万富豪自述：我就是个差生！
亿万富豪自述：我就是个差生！
腾讯博客 2010-09-15 06:59:49
http://news.creaders.net/society/newsViewer.php?nid=444941&id=1009035
引导语：我有一个高中同桌，也是现在的合作伙伴，身价至少5个亿，按社会的标准来说应该算得上是一个成功者。对于生活上没有什么压力的我们来说，就有相对充裕的时间去享受平和的人生。有一次，我们在法国的一个小庄园品尝一种难得的窖藏红酒，醇厚的红酒香味勾起了我们的回忆。
不久前的同学会还是让我们有些感触的：坐在第一排的班长老李考上了公务员，成了一个科长，手上多多少少还有些小权利，但那天为了他们区的招商引资，竟然被我们两个给喝趴下了，呵呵，好歹是报了读书时候的一些小仇。坐在第二排的历史课代表小张倒和我们没什么过节，现在她正在一个图书馆管理档案什么的，生活上好像为了房子和老公有些什么不太愉快。第三排的语文课代表老季成了我们高中的老师，唉，老师和我们不对付，不提也罢。至于第四排的英语课代表小静，去年成为我同桌的翻译，不过我知道，对于经常和洋鬼子打交道，口语很不错的同桌来说，聘用小静很有可能是因为他高中时候的暗恋，至今还余情未了……
人生无常啊，从社会上的评判标准来说，好像坐在班级最后一排垃圾桶边上的我们——标准的差生，倒成了相对成功的人士。而当年的那些好学生们，却还纠结在各种生活的烦恼之中，真是让人感叹。
美妙的红酒让他精神亢奋，特地拿出笔记本为这个话题敲打了一篇文章。从文字上看，酒后得意之情可见一般，呵呵，读书时期的郁闷也同样可见一般。我转述如下：
“一流学生就业，二、三流学生出国或是考研，末流学生创业”这句话似乎总结了“好学生”“差生”们在社会上的命运。然而，命运却总喜欢弄人，所以，很多末流的学生创业成功了，为那些个一流学生们提供了就业的机会……究竟是什么让学校里的好学生们进入社会以后，反而去向那过去的差生们讨口饭吃呢? 要搞清这个现象，就或许要从学校对一个学生的好差评判标准来说起。
众所周知，现在的教育制度明显是为了考试而服务的。因此，一些大脑相对单一，适合死记硬背的孩子们，往往手上会有一份分数漂亮的答卷。他们严格听从老师的教导，熟读那些老师们为了应付考试而准备的教材。他们不负家长的期望，最后合格毕业，进入了等着他们、欢迎他们的这个和谐社会。对于一个需要大量听话工作者的社会来说，这样的学生不愧为“好学生”。
而少数学生，思维活络，精力旺盛。他们中有的有很强的活动能力，活跃得以至于影响到好学生的学习。这样的学生永远是老师责骂的对象，最后对枯燥单一的课堂丧失了兴趣。还有一些学生喜爱思考，总爱怀疑。现在的教学任务那么紧张，老师们哪里会有时间去解答那些永远也回答不完的问题。最后，那样的学生对老师们嘴里“书上就是这样的、想考好就得这么来、背出来没错……”这些诸如此类的话厌烦了，课外读物，人生哲理更吸引他们的目光。因此，不看“正经书” 的他们，就被考卷上的分数定义为“差生”。
那么，用这样取材标准评定出来的“好学生”“差生”就客观地说明一个人的能力了吗?答案应该是显而易见的。连陈景润同志都没搞明白1+1是不是等于2，那些学校里的老师们却好像搞得明白……
在社会上生存，没有一个标准的答案。分工有360行，人生有很多条道路，就连最睿智的老者，或许也不能看清社会将来的变化。重要的是，社会上的选择题远远多于ABCD这四个选项，也没有一道可以准确定义对与错的判断题。那些大脑里已经塞满了考卷的人，除了老老实实找工作就业，如何去面对这样一个书本上没写出答案的社会呢?他们的命运其实早已经决定。他们就是为了这个社会不动荡、和谐发展而存在的。
但社会的进步需要开拓。于是乎，那些在学校里不安分的、爱思考的“差生”，就在社会上找到了自己的舞台。社会的课堂远远比学校的枯燥课堂要有趣、未知得多。在那些安于成绩和工作认可的好学生在过着按部就班生活的同时，差生们却在社会上玩着各种惊险刺激的游戏。过去，他们掀起了下海的风潮，有奇思妙想者用廉价的日用品从俄罗斯换回昂贵的飞机;现在他们又搅动着股市和楼市，让那些好学生们陷入了“套牢”和“蜗居”的境地。每每“好学生们”在感叹着自己没遇到好时机，感叹10年前更好赚钱的时候，那些“差生”们就在偷笑着，10年后他们会证明其实任何时代都会有新的机遇。
一个需要和谐发展的社会，不需要太多能力出众的人，更需要很多听话的人。那么，就让少数的活跃者，不安分者去创业去成功吧，而让大多数人成为麻木的执行者和打工者就行了。因为这可是有前车之鉴的啊：诸君可知，那遥远的春秋战国，诸子百家争鸣，却弄得个国家分崩离析战乱连连。正因为此，过去我们的一位领导得出个“越有文化，越反动”的结论，当然，这里的“文化”指的应该是思想而言。所以从这里看来，我们伟大国度的教育制度真的是相当的高明，我不由得要赞他一个!
……
一开始，我看到他写得高兴，也没说什么，但后来竟然有些悲从中来。我问他，对于社会的课堂来说，我们是好学生吗?比大多数人赚更多的钱就是成功者吗?我们除了那些已经没什么意义的钱、需要打发的时间以外，还剩下些什么呢?我们究竟是在为理想而努力着，还是为了赚钱而努力着呢?
同桌沉默了，红酒似乎把我们带到了一种更悲伤的气氛。是啊，劳动者们为了自己眼里见到的那些得不到或即将得到的目标而努力，在努力的过程中体会时而的失落，体会时而的喜悦。而我们……似乎只剩下慵懒了，竟有闲暇去评判那些努力的人。社会的考卷和当年的考卷一样，让我们找不到答案。
当我们以为地位和金钱是答案时，我们努力过，为了证明自己，或许走过比一般人更为艰苦的路程。但生活又告诉我们不是这样，为了私人目的努力最后只能带来空虚……好像前方还有长长的路要去走，但路在哪里呢?我们能为了这个和谐社会去做些什么呢，难道捐点钱，造个学校就能解脱我们的寂寞吗?我们的努力，真的能换来如童年般纯真的社会吗?
好像，有些和我们有着同样迷茫的人，最后竟然走向了犯罪的道路。不缺钱的他们，只把金钱当做一种数字游戏，为了破纪录，为了刺激而无视法律。他们也麻木了吧，锒铛入狱或许正是他们的归宿，前方本来也就找不到路了。没想到，生活竟然是那么的无聊，当年的老师们啊，你们为什么不教教我们什么是人生的意义!
或者，当年如果好好读书，好好改造下我们这多变的大脑，是不是生活会更加简单，更加充实些呢?围城里面的世界更简单精彩，还是围城外面的世界更有刺激和挑战，现在的我们无从知道。唉……或许，我们永远都是坐在垃圾桶边上的差生!
韶华岁月，快乐重要还是成绩重要呢?人生呢?
记得有位诗人曾经说过：幸福的人生留下的是痕迹而不是证据。是啊，或许这世上没有好学生和坏学生之说，只有快乐的学生和不快乐的学生……
编后语：当年，学校里用分数来评判我们，或许造成了些不正确的结论，但现在社会上用财富和地位来评判我们，难道就是正确的吗?人生是一个没有标准答案的考卷，而“幸福、满足”这两个词应该是很多人追求的目标，或者遗忘的答案吧?干嘛非要去管那些个分级分类呢，尽到自己的能力，过好自己的生活，找到属于自己的乐趣吧。毕竟，追求是永无止境的，知足者常乐呀。
腾讯博客 2010-09-15 06:59:49
http://news.creaders.net/society/newsViewer.php?nid=444941&id=1009035
引导语：我有一个高中同桌，也是现在的合作伙伴，身价至少5个亿，按社会的标准来说应该算得上是一个成功者。对于生活上没有什么压力的我们来说，就有相对充裕的时间去享受平和的人生。有一次，我们在法国的一个小庄园品尝一种难得的窖藏红酒，醇厚的红酒香味勾起了我们的回忆。
不久前的同学会还是让我们有些感触的：坐在第一排的班长老李考上了公务员，成了一个科长，手上多多少少还有些小权利，但那天为了他们区的招商引资，竟然被我们两个给喝趴下了，呵呵，好歹是报了读书时候的一些小仇。坐在第二排的历史课代表小张倒和我们没什么过节，现在她正在一个图书馆管理档案什么的，生活上好像为了房子和老公有些什么不太愉快。第三排的语文课代表老季成了我们高中的老师，唉，老师和我们不对付，不提也罢。至于第四排的英语课代表小静，去年成为我同桌的翻译，不过我知道，对于经常和洋鬼子打交道，口语很不错的同桌来说，聘用小静很有可能是因为他高中时候的暗恋，至今还余情未了……
人生无常啊，从社会上的评判标准来说，好像坐在班级最后一排垃圾桶边上的我们——标准的差生，倒成了相对成功的人士。而当年的那些好学生们，却还纠结在各种生活的烦恼之中，真是让人感叹。
美妙的红酒让他精神亢奋，特地拿出笔记本为这个话题敲打了一篇文章。从文字上看，酒后得意之情可见一般，呵呵，读书时期的郁闷也同样可见一般。我转述如下：
“一流学生就业，二、三流学生出国或是考研，末流学生创业”这句话似乎总结了“好学生”“差生”们在社会上的命运。然而，命运却总喜欢弄人，所以，很多末流的学生创业成功了，为那些个一流学生们提供了就业的机会……究竟是什么让学校里的好学生们进入社会以后，反而去向那过去的差生们讨口饭吃呢? 要搞清这个现象，就或许要从学校对一个学生的好差评判标准来说起。
众所周知，现在的教育制度明显是为了考试而服务的。因此，一些大脑相对单一，适合死记硬背的孩子们，往往手上会有一份分数漂亮的答卷。他们严格听从老师的教导，熟读那些老师们为了应付考试而准备的教材。他们不负家长的期望，最后合格毕业，进入了等着他们、欢迎他们的这个和谐社会。对于一个需要大量听话工作者的社会来说，这样的学生不愧为“好学生”。
而少数学生，思维活络，精力旺盛。他们中有的有很强的活动能力，活跃得以至于影响到好学生的学习。这样的学生永远是老师责骂的对象，最后对枯燥单一的课堂丧失了兴趣。还有一些学生喜爱思考，总爱怀疑。现在的教学任务那么紧张，老师们哪里会有时间去解答那些永远也回答不完的问题。最后，那样的学生对老师们嘴里“书上就是这样的、想考好就得这么来、背出来没错……”这些诸如此类的话厌烦了，课外读物，人生哲理更吸引他们的目光。因此，不看“正经书” 的他们，就被考卷上的分数定义为“差生”。
那么，用这样取材标准评定出来的“好学生”“差生”就客观地说明一个人的能力了吗?答案应该是显而易见的。连陈景润同志都没搞明白1+1是不是等于2，那些学校里的老师们却好像搞得明白……
在社会上生存，没有一个标准的答案。分工有360行，人生有很多条道路，就连最睿智的老者，或许也不能看清社会将来的变化。重要的是，社会上的选择题远远多于ABCD这四个选项，也没有一道可以准确定义对与错的判断题。那些大脑里已经塞满了考卷的人，除了老老实实找工作就业，如何去面对这样一个书本上没写出答案的社会呢?他们的命运其实早已经决定。他们就是为了这个社会不动荡、和谐发展而存在的。
但社会的进步需要开拓。于是乎，那些在学校里不安分的、爱思考的“差生”，就在社会上找到了自己的舞台。社会的课堂远远比学校的枯燥课堂要有趣、未知得多。在那些安于成绩和工作认可的好学生在过着按部就班生活的同时，差生们却在社会上玩着各种惊险刺激的游戏。过去，他们掀起了下海的风潮，有奇思妙想者用廉价的日用品从俄罗斯换回昂贵的飞机;现在他们又搅动着股市和楼市，让那些好学生们陷入了“套牢”和“蜗居”的境地。每每“好学生们”在感叹着自己没遇到好时机，感叹10年前更好赚钱的时候，那些“差生”们就在偷笑着，10年后他们会证明其实任何时代都会有新的机遇。
一个需要和谐发展的社会，不需要太多能力出众的人，更需要很多听话的人。那么，就让少数的活跃者，不安分者去创业去成功吧，而让大多数人成为麻木的执行者和打工者就行了。因为这可是有前车之鉴的啊：诸君可知，那遥远的春秋战国，诸子百家争鸣，却弄得个国家分崩离析战乱连连。正因为此，过去我们的一位领导得出个“越有文化，越反动”的结论，当然，这里的“文化”指的应该是思想而言。所以从这里看来，我们伟大国度的教育制度真的是相当的高明，我不由得要赞他一个!
……
一开始，我看到他写得高兴，也没说什么，但后来竟然有些悲从中来。我问他，对于社会的课堂来说，我们是好学生吗?比大多数人赚更多的钱就是成功者吗?我们除了那些已经没什么意义的钱、需要打发的时间以外，还剩下些什么呢?我们究竟是在为理想而努力着，还是为了赚钱而努力着呢?
同桌沉默了，红酒似乎把我们带到了一种更悲伤的气氛。是啊，劳动者们为了自己眼里见到的那些得不到或即将得到的目标而努力，在努力的过程中体会时而的失落，体会时而的喜悦。而我们……似乎只剩下慵懒了，竟有闲暇去评判那些努力的人。社会的考卷和当年的考卷一样，让我们找不到答案。
当我们以为地位和金钱是答案时，我们努力过，为了证明自己，或许走过比一般人更为艰苦的路程。但生活又告诉我们不是这样，为了私人目的努力最后只能带来空虚……好像前方还有长长的路要去走，但路在哪里呢?我们能为了这个和谐社会去做些什么呢，难道捐点钱，造个学校就能解脱我们的寂寞吗?我们的努力，真的能换来如童年般纯真的社会吗?
好像，有些和我们有着同样迷茫的人，最后竟然走向了犯罪的道路。不缺钱的他们，只把金钱当做一种数字游戏，为了破纪录，为了刺激而无视法律。他们也麻木了吧，锒铛入狱或许正是他们的归宿，前方本来也就找不到路了。没想到，生活竟然是那么的无聊，当年的老师们啊，你们为什么不教教我们什么是人生的意义!
或者，当年如果好好读书，好好改造下我们这多变的大脑，是不是生活会更加简单，更加充实些呢?围城里面的世界更简单精彩，还是围城外面的世界更有刺激和挑战，现在的我们无从知道。唉……或许，我们永远都是坐在垃圾桶边上的差生!
韶华岁月，快乐重要还是成绩重要呢?人生呢?
记得有位诗人曾经说过：幸福的人生留下的是痕迹而不是证据。是啊，或许这世上没有好学生和坏学生之说，只有快乐的学生和不快乐的学生……
编后语：当年，学校里用分数来评判我们，或许造成了些不正确的结论，但现在社会上用财富和地位来评判我们，难道就是正确的吗?人生是一个没有标准答案的考卷，而“幸福、满足”这两个词应该是很多人追求的目标，或者遗忘的答案吧?干嘛非要去管那些个分级分类呢，尽到自己的能力，过好自己的生活，找到属于自己的乐趣吧。毕竟，追求是永无止境的，知足者常乐呀。
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
zt: 夫妻生活幸福的“秘方”：婚爱持久方程式
美国学者凯瑟琳·约翰逊经过多年深入调查和研究，在此基础上，又与100对婚爱持久的夫妇进行了为期5年的系统地跟踪调查，总结推出了“婚爱持久方程式”。尽管凯瑟琳·约翰逊的研究对象大多是美国夫妇，但作为夫妇婚爱保持的一种做法，却也值得为世界各国的夫妇们所学习借鉴。
亲密：协调与周到
绝大多数幸福的夫妻都是相识后立即就变得亲密无间。他们感到有一种不可阻挡的情感，希望结合在一块和共享生活。
协调与周到：这种亲密无间的关系包括一种协调与周到的友谊，它基于一致性的热情，也基于相互间的不同。一位妻子提出了一个令人感兴趣的观点，她说：“快乐的婚姻来自于两个在个性上相对、而在基本情况上一致的人。”她的丈夫是一个生性乐观的人，她却是一个内向悲观的人。但是，他俩共同的籍贯和宗教信仰，使她迷上了他的气概，而他迷上了她的娇弱。他们的婚姻就是人们常说的找到了自己的另一半。
共享：理想与目标
一个配偶在做早餐，另一个去遛狗，早餐后夫妻俩一起阅读晨报，所有关系稳定的夫妇几乎都是这样的。这些琐事本身虽然不能产生快乐，但是，它们为婚姻关系注入了信任和责任感。
当你独处，或者你们没有讨论日常生活琐事时，要检查一下你们每天的时间安排，要找些共同的时间，争取共处。
理想与目标：幸福的夫妇都努力想让自己的家得到改观。他们共同努力，以使他们能够购买一个农场，或者一家店铺。不管他们的目标是什么，为达到理想而共同的努力能使婚姻关系焕发出光彩。
谅解：协议与愿望
爱情持久的夫妇很少争吵，即使他们之间因产生矛盾而生气，也会得到正确的处理。当然，他们解决问题的方法各有不同。有些夫妇有矛盾总是当天就解决，有的让它过夜，冷静以后再处理；有的喊叫，有的沉默。有一对夫妇为了避免争吵而想出一种方法，如果一方说了气人的话，另一方就会叫道：“火车出轨了！”
伴侣挖苦对方，这是常见的，但是，这有不利的影响。多作鼓励，效果会好得多。
协议与愿望：有时候，虽然他们尽了努力，但还是大吵起来时，一方或另一方就会离开房间。那位妻子说：“如果我走出去，不过五分钟我就会回来的。我们甚至不必说‘对不起’，因为我们非常高兴，两人又走到一起了。”这对夫妇就用这种方法避免进一步的争吵，一方的中途退出使另一方想起了他们的协议，想起了他们对婚姻的美好愿望。
滋养：期望与期待
当配偶间把注意力集中在对方的优点上时，他们的婚姻就会得到滋养，这不是说双方都得是乐观主义者，他们也可能是悲观、急躁、忧郁性格的人。
乐观的现实主义是美满婚姻的特征之一。成熟的婚爱意味着，我们要接受我们都有缺点的现实；做个现实主义者，意味着婚姻有苦有乐，有顺利的时候有困难的时候，与其唠叨，不如面对。
期望与期待：积极的期望能发挥巨大的作用。那些最善于寻找配偶优点的人，关系发展得最好，对配偶的期待也最好。当我们喜欢上某个人时，我们在他或她的眼睛里就会看到最好的自我。幸福的夫妇们也是如此，他们眼中的配偶是一个真实而又得到某种夸张的形象。
改变：信念与信仰
很多幸福的夫妇懂得改变自己，他们说：他们结婚后变多了，他们感到自己变得更好了，而他们的配偶也都同意这一点。意想不到的是，许多幸福的夫妇都经历过婚姻危机，但他们的婚姻幸存了，而且日益美满。
为了爱情的发展须放弃一些东西，但是，没有人要求放弃个人的发展，关键是估计变化的余地。一方的改变可能暂时动摇关系的现状，事实上，这对另一方有鼓励的作用。
信念与信仰：相信你的配偶总会改变他(她)的某些不足，有助于维持婚姻关系。而事实上，人确实是会改变的。应当相信人不可能不改变，而一个好的婚姻能帮助人们的爱情变得更好。
理解：真诚与坦诚
夫妻间需要保持有力的、生气勃勃的、无疵点而纯真的性关系。 爱情的意境主要是建立在性的基础上——不管你们之间冲突有多频繁和有多强烈，但是，当婚爱关系向前发展时，要意识到你重视的事——他的幽默、乐观态度，她对你的鼓励、体贴。
真诚与坦诚：对大多数夫妇来说，对配偶保持忠诚并不能使婚姻幸福，但它却能使婚姻成为可能，很显然，忠诚是夫妻间的最基本要求，因而使你对伴侣的需要能保持一致，更易使你坦诚和他交谈，不仅有助使他谈出感觉，也会使他感到你理解他。
平等：支配与平等
一般夫妇到了四五十岁时，他们就不会再为谁当家而争执，即使他们曾争执过。虽然也会有矛盾，但他们不是为了权力和地位，而在她们心目中，不管他们做什么，他们的努力都被看作是重要的。当你们开始较多考虑和关心你们的关系时，你们将互相得到较多的回报。也必然会感到被爱，因而更多地付出爱。
支配与平等：幸福的夫妇所具有的平等关系最清楚地表现在对财务管理上。每一对幸福的夫妇毫无例外地说，家庭收入是他们共同的，既不是他的也不是她的，他们从不为财政的支配而争执。
朋友：追求与尊重
幸福的婚爱都把配偶看成最亲密的朋友，但是，如果他们的关系有时不够互相信任、不够温和时，那么就应当把要做的事安排正式些。积极的安排才有积极的配偶效果。
追求与尊重：在这些婚爱持久的“朋友”中，妻子可以完全自由地追求自己的理想，她知道她丈夫对她的爱和尊重是无条件的，不管他是否理解她的决定。反之，丈夫的决定也亦然。
亲密：协调与周到
绝大多数幸福的夫妻都是相识后立即就变得亲密无间。他们感到有一种不可阻挡的情感，希望结合在一块和共享生活。
协调与周到：这种亲密无间的关系包括一种协调与周到的友谊，它基于一致性的热情，也基于相互间的不同。一位妻子提出了一个令人感兴趣的观点，她说：“快乐的婚姻来自于两个在个性上相对、而在基本情况上一致的人。”她的丈夫是一个生性乐观的人，她却是一个内向悲观的人。但是，他俩共同的籍贯和宗教信仰，使她迷上了他的气概，而他迷上了她的娇弱。他们的婚姻就是人们常说的找到了自己的另一半。
共享：理想与目标
一个配偶在做早餐，另一个去遛狗，早餐后夫妻俩一起阅读晨报，所有关系稳定的夫妇几乎都是这样的。这些琐事本身虽然不能产生快乐，但是，它们为婚姻关系注入了信任和责任感。
当你独处，或者你们没有讨论日常生活琐事时，要检查一下你们每天的时间安排，要找些共同的时间，争取共处。
理想与目标：幸福的夫妇都努力想让自己的家得到改观。他们共同努力，以使他们能够购买一个农场，或者一家店铺。不管他们的目标是什么，为达到理想而共同的努力能使婚姻关系焕发出光彩。
谅解：协议与愿望
爱情持久的夫妇很少争吵，即使他们之间因产生矛盾而生气，也会得到正确的处理。当然，他们解决问题的方法各有不同。有些夫妇有矛盾总是当天就解决，有的让它过夜，冷静以后再处理；有的喊叫，有的沉默。有一对夫妇为了避免争吵而想出一种方法，如果一方说了气人的话，另一方就会叫道：“火车出轨了！”
伴侣挖苦对方，这是常见的，但是，这有不利的影响。多作鼓励，效果会好得多。
协议与愿望：有时候，虽然他们尽了努力，但还是大吵起来时，一方或另一方就会离开房间。那位妻子说：“如果我走出去，不过五分钟我就会回来的。我们甚至不必说‘对不起’，因为我们非常高兴，两人又走到一起了。”这对夫妇就用这种方法避免进一步的争吵，一方的中途退出使另一方想起了他们的协议，想起了他们对婚姻的美好愿望。
滋养：期望与期待
当配偶间把注意力集中在对方的优点上时，他们的婚姻就会得到滋养，这不是说双方都得是乐观主义者，他们也可能是悲观、急躁、忧郁性格的人。
乐观的现实主义是美满婚姻的特征之一。成熟的婚爱意味着，我们要接受我们都有缺点的现实；做个现实主义者，意味着婚姻有苦有乐，有顺利的时候有困难的时候，与其唠叨，不如面对。
期望与期待：积极的期望能发挥巨大的作用。那些最善于寻找配偶优点的人，关系发展得最好，对配偶的期待也最好。当我们喜欢上某个人时，我们在他或她的眼睛里就会看到最好的自我。幸福的夫妇们也是如此，他们眼中的配偶是一个真实而又得到某种夸张的形象。
改变：信念与信仰
很多幸福的夫妇懂得改变自己，他们说：他们结婚后变多了，他们感到自己变得更好了，而他们的配偶也都同意这一点。意想不到的是，许多幸福的夫妇都经历过婚姻危机，但他们的婚姻幸存了，而且日益美满。
为了爱情的发展须放弃一些东西，但是，没有人要求放弃个人的发展，关键是估计变化的余地。一方的改变可能暂时动摇关系的现状，事实上，这对另一方有鼓励的作用。
信念与信仰：相信你的配偶总会改变他(她)的某些不足，有助于维持婚姻关系。而事实上，人确实是会改变的。应当相信人不可能不改变，而一个好的婚姻能帮助人们的爱情变得更好。
理解：真诚与坦诚
夫妻间需要保持有力的、生气勃勃的、无疵点而纯真的性关系。 爱情的意境主要是建立在性的基础上——不管你们之间冲突有多频繁和有多强烈，但是，当婚爱关系向前发展时，要意识到你重视的事——他的幽默、乐观态度，她对你的鼓励、体贴。
真诚与坦诚：对大多数夫妇来说，对配偶保持忠诚并不能使婚姻幸福，但它却能使婚姻成为可能，很显然，忠诚是夫妻间的最基本要求，因而使你对伴侣的需要能保持一致，更易使你坦诚和他交谈，不仅有助使他谈出感觉，也会使他感到你理解他。
平等：支配与平等
一般夫妇到了四五十岁时，他们就不会再为谁当家而争执，即使他们曾争执过。虽然也会有矛盾，但他们不是为了权力和地位，而在她们心目中，不管他们做什么，他们的努力都被看作是重要的。当你们开始较多考虑和关心你们的关系时，你们将互相得到较多的回报。也必然会感到被爱，因而更多地付出爱。
支配与平等：幸福的夫妇所具有的平等关系最清楚地表现在对财务管理上。每一对幸福的夫妇毫无例外地说，家庭收入是他们共同的，既不是他的也不是她的，他们从不为财政的支配而争执。
朋友：追求与尊重
幸福的婚爱都把配偶看成最亲密的朋友，但是，如果他们的关系有时不够互相信任、不够温和时，那么就应当把要做的事安排正式些。积极的安排才有积极的配偶效果。
追求与尊重：在这些婚爱持久的“朋友”中，妻子可以完全自由地追求自己的理想，她知道她丈夫对她的爱和尊重是无条件的，不管他是否理解她的决定。反之，丈夫的决定也亦然。
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
(组图)北大天才生放弃麻省理工全奖 遁入空门
(组图)北大天才生放弃麻省理工全奖 遁入空门
楚天都市报 2010-09-07 19:32:18
北大数学系应届毕业生、湖北籍男孩柳智宇 图/楚天都市报
http://news.creaders.net/photo/newsViewer.php?nid=444143&id=1007421&aid=14
西山的龙泉寺
记者前天前往西山的龙泉寺，确认北大数学系应届毕业生、湖北籍男孩柳智宇已开始在该寺修行。柳智宇放弃美国麻省理工学院的全额奖学金，而选择出家遁入空门，但要正式皈依佛门还有一定的考察期。
9月5日，一位网友在北京大学的校园论坛上发帖说，北大数学系大四毕业生、湖北籍男孩柳智宇放弃美国麻省理工学院的全额奖学金，而选择出家遁入空门。记者前天前往西山的龙泉寺，确认柳智宇已经开始修行，但要正式皈依佛门还要有一个考察期。
作为居士修行还未真正出家
前天，记者来到位于海淀凤凰岭风景区内的龙泉寺，寺内多位僧人均证实，柳智宇确在此处修行。
“高个子，很瘦，话不多。”客堂内一名女居士对柳智宇印象很深。她说，两年前一位老教授将柳智宇带来龙泉寺，此后他自己也会不时来庙里。前些日子寺里修建配楼，组织僧人和居士成立“突击队”施工，柳智宇也加入其中，“第一次干活时他不适应，回学校后病了三四天，但现在已没问题了”。
据一位法号“贤栋”的僧人介绍，目前柳智宇只是居士，如欲正式皈依佛门要有一个考察期，一般要几年时间。他介绍，居士不受佛门戒律戒规约束，只要虔诚于佛、遵循佛之善心善意即可，“所以他现在还并不算出家”。
柳智宇本人婉拒了记者面谈的要求，托一位僧人带话说：“暂时不便相见。”
父母希望他先到社会上走走
柳智宇此前申请并获得了麻省理工学院的全额奖学金，家人都已经帮他准备好了行李，却没想到半途出现变故。“我们坚决反对孩子的这个决定。这一两个月我已经心力交瘁，他的母亲也病了一场。”柳智宇的父亲说。
“我们不埋怨任何人，只是感到很无助。”柳父称，柳智宇刚刚毕业还没有社会经验，家人希望他到社会上走走，“李叔同也是在39岁功成名就之后才选择出家，孩子现在什么都不懂，没法帮助别人”。
■奇人逸事
蒋方舟的“梦中情人”
“他的智商起码280以上，只有他可以到让我崇拜的程度。”网友这样介绍柳智宇。他的学海生涯经历辉煌，16岁时成为全国名校华师一附中的学生科学院院长；2006年以满分成绩获得第47届国际数学奥赛金牌并被保送攻读北大。大四毕业前又成功申请到麻省理工的全额奖学金。“我的梦中情人是柳智宇。”80 后作家蒋方舟公开表示，“不是因为他帅，而是因为他是个天才。”
室友介绍，柳智宇性格比较内向、性情温和、乐于助人。刚刚入校时他便陆续加入了北大的禅学社和耕读社，长年坚持吃素，“也没听说有什么感情纠葛”。
昨天，北大禅学社在网站上发表声明，称从2008年起，柳智宇连续两年任北大耕读社社长，已淡出禅学社。
一位北大耕读社成员介绍，柳智宇“怀天下之忧”，经常诵读佛经，总是想让所有人都幸福快乐，他曾说自己的愿望是普度众生。
柳智宇在此前发表的一篇文章中谈到自己对生命的感悟：其实出世、获得解脱是一种普遍的人类存在状态……就个人来说，我小时候就不喜欢与小朋友一起玩，觉得他们天天在那里闹腾，太没意思了。这也是一种出世。有句话叫“以出世的心做入世的事”。
■众说纷纭
★蒋方舟：我看过他的文章，知道他所有的思考都是一下子深入到最终极的问题，所以能够理解他选择皈依宗教作为归宿。但修行的方式有很多种，有点遗憾他的选择这么彻底和决绝。
★网友博悟馆：柳智宇古刹修行是损失的考量，显示出理所当然的功利主义。个人的成长，凭什么只能纳入唯一的、所谓主流社会的价值评价体系？柳同学的另一个华师一附中校友李喆，也是个天才少年，因为去学围棋被很多人认为“可惜”，如今李喆贵为国手，可惜声便少了许多。
★网友多情无情剑：我们为金钱，为名利，为地位，为工作，为家庭，为感情，为各种各样的东西所束缚，无法逃离。而他，已经脱离了俗世的束缚，这些东西已经不再是他需要考量的问题。
★网友工程师：这不是浪费教育资源吗？上了这么多年学一点社会责任感都没有？
楚天都市报 2010-09-07 19:32:18
北大数学系应届毕业生、湖北籍男孩柳智宇 图/楚天都市报
http://news.creaders.net/photo/newsViewer.php?nid=444143&id=1007421&aid=14
西山的龙泉寺
记者前天前往西山的龙泉寺，确认北大数学系应届毕业生、湖北籍男孩柳智宇已开始在该寺修行。柳智宇放弃美国麻省理工学院的全额奖学金，而选择出家遁入空门，但要正式皈依佛门还有一定的考察期。
9月5日，一位网友在北京大学的校园论坛上发帖说，北大数学系大四毕业生、湖北籍男孩柳智宇放弃美国麻省理工学院的全额奖学金，而选择出家遁入空门。记者前天前往西山的龙泉寺，确认柳智宇已经开始修行，但要正式皈依佛门还要有一个考察期。
作为居士修行还未真正出家
前天，记者来到位于海淀凤凰岭风景区内的龙泉寺，寺内多位僧人均证实，柳智宇确在此处修行。
“高个子，很瘦，话不多。”客堂内一名女居士对柳智宇印象很深。她说，两年前一位老教授将柳智宇带来龙泉寺，此后他自己也会不时来庙里。前些日子寺里修建配楼，组织僧人和居士成立“突击队”施工，柳智宇也加入其中，“第一次干活时他不适应，回学校后病了三四天，但现在已没问题了”。
据一位法号“贤栋”的僧人介绍，目前柳智宇只是居士，如欲正式皈依佛门要有一个考察期，一般要几年时间。他介绍，居士不受佛门戒律戒规约束，只要虔诚于佛、遵循佛之善心善意即可，“所以他现在还并不算出家”。
柳智宇本人婉拒了记者面谈的要求，托一位僧人带话说：“暂时不便相见。”
父母希望他先到社会上走走
柳智宇此前申请并获得了麻省理工学院的全额奖学金，家人都已经帮他准备好了行李，却没想到半途出现变故。“我们坚决反对孩子的这个决定。这一两个月我已经心力交瘁，他的母亲也病了一场。”柳智宇的父亲说。
“我们不埋怨任何人，只是感到很无助。”柳父称，柳智宇刚刚毕业还没有社会经验，家人希望他到社会上走走，“李叔同也是在39岁功成名就之后才选择出家，孩子现在什么都不懂，没法帮助别人”。
■奇人逸事
蒋方舟的“梦中情人”
“他的智商起码280以上，只有他可以到让我崇拜的程度。”网友这样介绍柳智宇。他的学海生涯经历辉煌，16岁时成为全国名校华师一附中的学生科学院院长；2006年以满分成绩获得第47届国际数学奥赛金牌并被保送攻读北大。大四毕业前又成功申请到麻省理工的全额奖学金。“我的梦中情人是柳智宇。”80 后作家蒋方舟公开表示，“不是因为他帅，而是因为他是个天才。”
室友介绍，柳智宇性格比较内向、性情温和、乐于助人。刚刚入校时他便陆续加入了北大的禅学社和耕读社，长年坚持吃素，“也没听说有什么感情纠葛”。
昨天，北大禅学社在网站上发表声明，称从2008年起，柳智宇连续两年任北大耕读社社长，已淡出禅学社。
一位北大耕读社成员介绍，柳智宇“怀天下之忧”，经常诵读佛经，总是想让所有人都幸福快乐，他曾说自己的愿望是普度众生。
柳智宇在此前发表的一篇文章中谈到自己对生命的感悟：其实出世、获得解脱是一种普遍的人类存在状态……就个人来说，我小时候就不喜欢与小朋友一起玩，觉得他们天天在那里闹腾，太没意思了。这也是一种出世。有句话叫“以出世的心做入世的事”。
■众说纷纭
★蒋方舟：我看过他的文章，知道他所有的思考都是一下子深入到最终极的问题，所以能够理解他选择皈依宗教作为归宿。但修行的方式有很多种，有点遗憾他的选择这么彻底和决绝。
★网友博悟馆：柳智宇古刹修行是损失的考量，显示出理所当然的功利主义。个人的成长，凭什么只能纳入唯一的、所谓主流社会的价值评价体系？柳同学的另一个华师一附中校友李喆，也是个天才少年，因为去学围棋被很多人认为“可惜”，如今李喆贵为国手，可惜声便少了许多。
★网友多情无情剑：我们为金钱，为名利，为地位，为工作，为家庭，为感情，为各种各样的东西所束缚，无法逃离。而他，已经脱离了俗世的束缚，这些东西已经不再是他需要考量的问题。
★网友工程师：这不是浪费教育资源吗？上了这么多年学一点社会责任感都没有？
Monday, September 6, 2010
7 Spending Tips From Frugal Billionaires
7 Spending Tips From Frugal Billionaires
by Jean Folger
Sunday, September 5, 2010
http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/110550/tips-from-frugal-billionaires?mod=bb-budgeting
investopedia_logo.jpg
Carlos Slim Helu (Carlos Slim), a telecom tycoon and billionaire with well-known frugal tendencies, has a net worth of $60.6 billion, according to Forbes. Assuming no changes in his net worth, he could spend $1,150 a minute for the next 100 years before he ran out of money. To put this in perspective, he could spend in 13 minutes what a minimum-wage earner brings home after an entire year of the daily grind.
More from Investopedia:
• How to Make Your First $1 Million
• 7 Millionaire Myths
• Celebrities With Big Dreams That Paid Off
Granted, the world's billionaires (all 1,011 of them) are in the debatably enviable position of having, quite literally, more money than they can possibly spend, yet some are still living well below their means, and save money in surprising places. Even non-billionaires (currently 6,864,605,142 of us) can partake in these seven spending tips from frugal billionaires:
[Click here to check savings products and rates in your area.]
1. Keep Your Home Simple
Billionaires can afford to live in the most exclusive mansions imaginable -- and many do, including Bill Gates' sprawling 66,000 square foot, $147.5 million dollar mansion in Medina, Wash. -- yet frugal billionaires like Warren Buffett choose to keep it simple. Buffett still lives in the five-bedroom house in Omaha that he purchased in 1957 for $31,500. Likewise, Carlos Slim has lived in the same house for more than 40 years.
2. Use Self-Powered or Public Transportation
Thrifty billionaires including John Caudwell, David Cheriton and Chuck Feeney prefer to walk, bike or use public transportation when getting around town. Certainly these wealthy individuals could afford to take a helicopter to their lunch meetings, or ride in chauffeur-driven Bentleys, but they choose to get a little exercise and take advantage of public transportation instead. Good for the bank account and great for the environment.
3. Buy Your Clothes off the Rack
While some people, regardless of their net value, place a huge emphasis on wearing designer clothes and shoes, some frugal billionaires decide it's simply not worth the effort, or expense. You can find David Cheriton, the Stanford professor who matched Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page to the venture capitalists at Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers (resulting in a large reward of Google stock), wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of the furniture company Ikea, avoids wearing suits, and John Caudwell, mobile phone mogul, buys his clothes off the rack instead of spending his wealth on designer clothes.
4. Keep your Scissors Sharp
The average haircut costs about $45, but people can and do spend up to $800 per cut and style. Multiply that by 8.6 (to account for a cut every six weeks) and it adds up to $7,200 per year, not including tips. These billionaires can certainly afford the most stylish haircuts, buy many cannot be bothered by the time it takes or the high price tag for the posh salons. Billionaires like John Caudwell and David Cheriton opt for cutting their own hair at home.
[Stock Picks From the World's Greatest Investors]
5. Drive a Regular Car
While billionaires like Larry Ellison (co-founder and CEO of Oracle Corporation) enjoy spending millions on cars, boats and planes, others remain low key with their vehicles of choice. Jim Walton (of the Wal-Mart clan) drives a 15-year-old pickup truck. Azim Premji, an Indian business tycoon, reportedly drives a Toyota Corolla. And Ingvar Kamprad of Ikea drives a 10-year-old Volvo. The idea is to buy a dependable car, and drive it into the ground. No need for a different car each day of the week for these frugal billionaires.
6. Skip Luxury Items
It may surprise some of us, but the world's wealthiest person, Carlos Slim (the one who could spend more than a thousand dollars a minute and not run out of money for one hundred years) does not own a yacht or a plane. (Reducing the amount you spend is the easiest way to make your money grow.)
Many other billionaires have chosen to skip these luxury items. Warren Buffett also avoids these lavish material items, stating, "Most toys are just a pain in the neck."
What We Can Learn
Some of the world's billionaires have frugal tendencies. Perhaps this thrifty nature even helped them make some of their money. Regardless, they have chosen to avoid some unnecessary spending (at least on their scale) and the 6,864,605,142 non-billionaires out there can follow suit, eliminating excessive, keep-up-with-the-Jones style spending. No matter what a person's income bracket is, most can usually find a way to cut back on frivolous spending, just like a few frugal billionaires.
___
by Jean Folger
Sunday, September 5, 2010
http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/110550/tips-from-frugal-billionaires?mod=bb-budgeting
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Carlos Slim Helu (Carlos Slim), a telecom tycoon and billionaire with well-known frugal tendencies, has a net worth of $60.6 billion, according to Forbes. Assuming no changes in his net worth, he could spend $1,150 a minute for the next 100 years before he ran out of money. To put this in perspective, he could spend in 13 minutes what a minimum-wage earner brings home after an entire year of the daily grind.
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Granted, the world's billionaires (all 1,011 of them) are in the debatably enviable position of having, quite literally, more money than they can possibly spend, yet some are still living well below their means, and save money in surprising places. Even non-billionaires (currently 6,864,605,142 of us) can partake in these seven spending tips from frugal billionaires:
[Click here to check savings products and rates in your area.]
1. Keep Your Home Simple
Billionaires can afford to live in the most exclusive mansions imaginable -- and many do, including Bill Gates' sprawling 66,000 square foot, $147.5 million dollar mansion in Medina, Wash. -- yet frugal billionaires like Warren Buffett choose to keep it simple. Buffett still lives in the five-bedroom house in Omaha that he purchased in 1957 for $31,500. Likewise, Carlos Slim has lived in the same house for more than 40 years.
2. Use Self-Powered or Public Transportation
Thrifty billionaires including John Caudwell, David Cheriton and Chuck Feeney prefer to walk, bike or use public transportation when getting around town. Certainly these wealthy individuals could afford to take a helicopter to their lunch meetings, or ride in chauffeur-driven Bentleys, but they choose to get a little exercise and take advantage of public transportation instead. Good for the bank account and great for the environment.
3. Buy Your Clothes off the Rack
While some people, regardless of their net value, place a huge emphasis on wearing designer clothes and shoes, some frugal billionaires decide it's simply not worth the effort, or expense. You can find David Cheriton, the Stanford professor who matched Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page to the venture capitalists at Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers (resulting in a large reward of Google stock), wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of the furniture company Ikea, avoids wearing suits, and John Caudwell, mobile phone mogul, buys his clothes off the rack instead of spending his wealth on designer clothes.
4. Keep your Scissors Sharp
The average haircut costs about $45, but people can and do spend up to $800 per cut and style. Multiply that by 8.6 (to account for a cut every six weeks) and it adds up to $7,200 per year, not including tips. These billionaires can certainly afford the most stylish haircuts, buy many cannot be bothered by the time it takes or the high price tag for the posh salons. Billionaires like John Caudwell and David Cheriton opt for cutting their own hair at home.
[Stock Picks From the World's Greatest Investors]
5. Drive a Regular Car
While billionaires like Larry Ellison (co-founder and CEO of Oracle Corporation) enjoy spending millions on cars, boats and planes, others remain low key with their vehicles of choice. Jim Walton (of the Wal-Mart clan) drives a 15-year-old pickup truck. Azim Premji, an Indian business tycoon, reportedly drives a Toyota Corolla. And Ingvar Kamprad of Ikea drives a 10-year-old Volvo. The idea is to buy a dependable car, and drive it into the ground. No need for a different car each day of the week for these frugal billionaires.
6. Skip Luxury Items
It may surprise some of us, but the world's wealthiest person, Carlos Slim (the one who could spend more than a thousand dollars a minute and not run out of money for one hundred years) does not own a yacht or a plane. (Reducing the amount you spend is the easiest way to make your money grow.)
Many other billionaires have chosen to skip these luxury items. Warren Buffett also avoids these lavish material items, stating, "Most toys are just a pain in the neck."
What We Can Learn
Some of the world's billionaires have frugal tendencies. Perhaps this thrifty nature even helped them make some of their money. Regardless, they have chosen to avoid some unnecessary spending (at least on their scale) and the 6,864,605,142 non-billionaires out there can follow suit, eliminating excessive, keep-up-with-the-Jones style spending. No matter what a person's income bracket is, most can usually find a way to cut back on frivolous spending, just like a few frugal billionaires.
___
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