Why does not having a job have such bad stigma?

Why does not having a job have such bad stigma?

http://www.fatwallet.com/forums/finance/994770/

I was once unemployed for several years. I've noticed that some people (including my parents) believed that I was in such an awful situation by not having earned income. The most awkward situation to be in was when I would meet people in a party, they would ask "What do you do?". I was torn between saying "I'm unemployed", "I'm in between jobs", "I work for myself", or "I'm retired". The "retired" option was not feasible as I was only in my 30's. Although I have money saved up to keep me afloat for years and years without a job, I always felt that people felt that I was "poor" or "in a bad situation" just because I didn't have a 9-to-5 job. I noticed that people tend to attach a person's personality to his/her occupation. All FWers know that a person's occupation and what he/she makes in his/her job is not a good determining factor regarding his/her overall financial situation.

I guess most people have the "how will you make ends meet without a job" mentality.



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Maybe people are worried that, despite the fact that you're doing fine now but potentially you'll become a drag on society. There's always the problem with health insurance... and if you're unemployed, most people assume you don't have health insurance. Since a car accident could land you in the hospital, you could easily end up with over $100,000 in hospital bills. Then, since you don't have insurance, you'd possibly declare bankruptcy rather than pay off the debt. So then the hospital shifts the cost to everyone else.

Maybe everyone's just afraid that there are too many ways for you to leach off the system through a simple accident that people would prefer to hear that you've got a job.

Or maybe people feel that society is a system of collaboration. If a significant number of people stopped working then we couldn't raise enough taxes to continue our economy or the tax burden would be more and more greatly shifted to the people working.

Or maybe people are just jealous. They have crappy jobs and misery loves company.

Or maybe people are just afraid that you're planning to go to law school.

Or maybe people are just worried that you're going to become a hippie.

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I think people will put you into one of these classes:

1) you are incompetent and can't get a job,
2) you are lazy and don't want a job,
3) you do not need a job, in which case they are jealous.


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since one of the conditions of unemployment is to be looking for a job. So yes there is stigma associated with scamming the government as it is our tax dollars paying for your suntan. If you are retired just retire do not scam the government. Every time you click the box that says you are actively looking for a job you are taking advantage of every working person. So yes you get some scorn for that. It is fair.

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OP, as others have brought up, the answer depends on what you do with your time. While I don't have a "job," I have no problem telling people that I'm a stock trader. Yeah, I could tell them that I'm unemployed, or, even more accurately, too sick to hold down a job, but to what end?

I would hope you have something interesting that you're doing with your time. If you sit around all day watching TV, then I'd suggest you think about how satisfying that'd be for years. But if you do something interesting, even if not profitable, it's fine to say that you're currently training to be a runner, studying a new field, assembling a bonsai nursery, or whatever. Most people will just think you're interesting, and won't suddenly ask you to whip out a copy of your business plan.


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This is a very interesting subject but lets be realistic, very few people who are NOT working are finacially independent.
I happenned to be in this category as I've worked hard and saved up enough money so I can just work part-time.
I enjoy my lifestyle very much as my expenses are very little(not having a GF helps).
I can work little and go traveling any time I want.
Its an awkward situation when I go visit my homeland(Vietnam) and when I meet women, they usually ask me is "what do you do for a living?".
I don't want to answer "I work very little and independently wealthy" cause that make me sound like a snob.
Its like I don't like to tell the women I have money cause thats just asking for trouble.
Can't tell them I don't work either cause that make me sound like a bum and that won't get me past the initial conversation.
So I end up telling me my old occupation which is GM of a restaurant...which sounds like I have a good career.
But this is back to the point of people DEFINE you on what you do for a living.
There are people that makes $100K+/yr, yet have little to show for but people instantly think they are rich.


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Let me tell one person's situation that fascinate me.
My close buddy Dad, who is retired and very well off(probably worth a couple of millions).
Hes one of those people who are used to working blue collar all his life and doesn't take advantage of his wealth.
So he retired and moved down to Fla.
Since hes so used to working all his life, he takes a job working at Seaworld as a bus boy.
The way he dresses make him look like hes barely getting by and still drives a beat pick up truck.
Hes a geninely nice guy so people at work feel sorry for him as they all think hes just barely getting by.
They would tend to bring him clothes, food, etc... for him.

So he always throw a big Thanksgiving dinner at his million+ house and one year, he wanted to invite some people at work to the dinner.
We all joked that if he were to do that, he will ruin his cover at work.
I guess he agreed cause he never did invite anyone at work.
To this day, noone at work know.
Eevery time I see him, I tell him he is my "idol".
His wealth and the opposite lifestyle fascinate me.
I swear someday, I will back to Vietnam and live as a common man and see how I get treated but I doubt it will work as I look nothing like a common Vietnamese and my language isn't exactly fluent either.

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OP I agree that when someone tells me they are unemployed it garners sympathy and that would be an ackward situation for both the unemployed person and the other person in the conversation.

The other thing on FW that gets a lot of red is drawing unemployment (or any government service). If I happen to get laid off will I take advantage? YES! I have been working for over 10 years straight and have never done anything but pay into the system. If I had a chance to benefit, I would take it.


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There is absolutely nothing wrong with drawing unemployment if you are actively looking and trying to be employed. It is something you have paid for and should collect it this is the . However, if you are not trying to become re-employed then you are committing fraud.

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Stay at home mom is a much harder proffession then just about anything else. I know when I meet SAHMs I'm not looking down at them but instead thinking how I could never do their job. Do not assume that people are looking down at you for being a SAHM there is a good chance they are either admiring or envious.

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What do you do?

*I'm a homemaker (male/female, same smell!)
*I work in self-care
*I am evaluating my options
*Pursuing personal interests
*Taking a long brake between jobs/careers
*Semi-retired, retired, currently unemployed, in-between jobs
*I'm a business consultant. I charge $140 an hour, here's my card, let me know if someone needs my opinion about their company.


Many of us are without a job and the problem is that people don't really want to know what you do, they want to know how much you make. When you say you are an engineer, sales associate, or a nurse, they automatically round up in their heads how much you make and they use that to compare it to themselves (as if it mattered).

If you say you are a stay-at-home parent, the next question is: "what does your wife/husband do?". They really could careless about the job, they just want to know the size of the paycheck.

The "stigma" is that people wish they were in your shoes and don't know how to get into them. Imagine living in France, having excellent health care , and working no more that 35 hrs a week and a minimum of five weeks vacation a year..... the typical busybody would call them lazy (as if that was a bad thing) and seeth with resentment while trying to make ends meet and have no personal time. In the meantime, the French live well, have time for family, friends and personal pursuits that don't revolve around what they do for a living, they could care less what anyone else thinks.

*Tell them you are French!

PEACE

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Shows you need to pick the people you know better. My wife stopped working when our daughter was born and without doubt it is one of the toughest jobs. I would rather work 12 hours a day than take care of a kid and me for an hour. If more moms stayed home and raised their kids we would have a much better Country.

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I have a masters degree and did a job 5 years back..I am a fulltime mom right now. I don't get anything like unemployment benefts etc...My friends are working, keeping their kids at day care. They say their job is much easier than being a fulltime mom at home., I am definitely enjoying my stay at home, and I don't feel bad by saying am a stay at home mom. I feel it depends on the way you think and feel. I only feel one thing atleast I am one less job applicant there, someone who really needs a job should have. I don't have huge bank balance and I am not saying I will not apply for a job in future. when my kid is in school I might look for a parttime job.


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Good post op. Something I have struggled with myself. It's a hard question to answer.

In my last job, which I did not enjoy, I was paid well and saved some money. The experience I gained from that job was practically worthless in finding another job in my field unless I could find a job doing exactly the same thing somewhere else. So I've been struggling to change fields and considering lots of options. I need to find something that I enjoy so I can do it longer term. I've also relocated back home to FL where the employment situation is grim for personal reasons. So these things add up to an extended unemployment term for me and lots of the type of party talk mentioned in the OP.

I find it better to not tell people in social situations I'm unemployed, but it always comes out. People in America can't help but talk about work. As an unemployed person who hated their last job, I've got two things I don't want to talk about.


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Now I have been actively working to find work...but nothing yet.

But allow me to add some of the bright sides to unemployment that I've thought up while I've been here:

>I buy less "stuff" and cause less of a burden on the environment
>I drive and fly less - So I put out less CO2 into the atmosphere.
>I am not stuck in traffic as much / I'm less likely to be in an accident
>I have time to think and tinker. --This is maybe the best part for me, as I fancy myself a creative person.
>I don't have to deal with passive aggressive workplace bullshit.
>I didn't make X0k and spend X0k on drinks at clubs, gas, designer clothes, expensive housing, or groceries further inflating prices and making the dollar weaker
>I have a chance to step back and look at my life and consider what's important.

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Stay at home mom is a much harder proffession then just about anything else. I know when I meet SAHMs I'm not looking down at them but instead thinking how I could never do their job. Do not assume that people are looking down at you for being a SAHM there is a good chance they are either admiring or envious.


I don't know about this. I've told my wife several times that I'd be happy to stay home with the kids while she supports the family financially, and the answer is a resounding "No!". I'm not saying it's easy work, but often cleaning up crap (literally) with the kids is preferable to dealing with crap (metaphorically) at work.


I should clarify. My sister is currently a Stay at home mom to 3 kids under 3 years old. When I spend an evening taking care of them I work harder then at my job. I personally would be diven insane by having to take care of 3 kids under 3 and never get adult conversation. There are only so many times I can stand to reread the book "squishy turtle " before it drives me personally bonkers. So I personally much prefer and think my biotech job much better then her stay at home mom job. Her job would be much harder for me to handle. Now different people are different and others may feel differently but I personally have a lot of respect for Stay at home parents as I could not handle their job.

I agree 100% I was a SAHM for 5 years and during that time I thought i would go crazy, I managed to get a job that worked around my son's school schedule I felt so much better. Years later my husband babysat our grandson for the 1st year of his life and he said, I don't know how you did it staying at home with our son. He said I had the easier job going to work. He said stay at home parents deserve recognition they work so much harder than people realize. When I came home the house was cleaned, clothes ironed, supper on table, homework done, everything was organized all I had to do was work never worried about bills paid, food shopping or how our son got to his practices after school, etc. SAHParents, are chauffers, nurses, food shoppers, cleaners, organizers --getting kids to play groups, doctor appts, etc. and the only pay they get is that occasional smiling face and you know its worth it. But that smile lasts a few seconds before its MOM!!! and it starts all over.